Kaznachei’s Pain

by Mason, V. F.

  “I won’t look at it.” Although my fingers itched to snap it open, I didn’t need a detailed report on Yuri.

  Because in the morning while I was riding back in the cab to my place to change, I realized he should forever stay a guy who, for a few hours, helped with my loneliness and made turning thirty less shitty.

  Besides, he resided in Russia; his dealings were outside my jurisdiction anyway.

  “Don’t be stupid, Melissa!” Connor exclaimed.

  I’d had enough.

  I rose up in my seat, slapping my hands on the table as we faced off against each other. “Enough, Connor. Why are you acting this way? Why do you care who I sleep with?” His behavior made no sense to me. We’d been friends for a long time, but that was about it.

  He should be more worried about Honey rather than me.

  “Is this to get back at me?” My jaw almost dropped to the floor at his suspicion, and while I was proceeding to the stupid conclusion he came to, he added, “Because we fucked and I left?”

  “You are stepping way out of line, Connor.” And why was I listening to it anyway?

  I took the folder from the table and pressed it forcefully against his chest, and since he didn’t expect it, he stumbled back as I hissed in his face, “You have a lot of nerve showing up here, acting disrespectful, and then coming to idiotic conclusions. Let me make something very clear, Connor. Who I sleep with is none of your business, and I won’t be judged for that. If you want to start questioning personal lives here, how about yours?” Instantly, his eyes narrowed and something flashed there behind the anger. I hoped it was his common sense. “Snap out of acting like an asshole and tell me what’s going on.” The Connor I knew would have never behaved this way.

  There must be a reason, and I didn’t have long to wait for him to spill it.

  He exhaled heavily and nodded, indicating to me that he had his control back. So I stepped to the table to rest on it, and he looked to the side, dwelling on something before his troubled green eyes finally met mine. “I’m sorry,” he said, and I waited a beat before accepting it.

  “I want an explanation.” I motioned to the chair and he sat down, hitting his leg with the folder.

  “I called your number, but Yuri picked it up.” My brows furrowed, so he elaborated. “Apparently, you switched phones.” I picked up mine from the table—I hadn’t used it—and then I saw how perfect the thing was.

  Mine had been dropped so many times it was scratched all over the place, but the mafia members, I imagined, wouldn’t have kept one for long, instead preferring to buy a new one. “And Yuri told you we had sex?” I couldn’t believe this guy! Would he go around now and proclaim that? Would the mafia gangs now talk about this?

  Connor clicked his fingers in front of my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Hey, no need to panic. He didn’t say shit. I just understood that… well… it was an easy guess.” Relief flooded through me, but it was short-lived, because apparently Connor wasn’t done yet. “The point is, Yuri is trouble, okay? He is not marriage material.”

  The seriousness with which he said it left me no choice but to burst out laughing.

  I placed my hand on my stomach, still laughing, while he sat there frowning at me. “Clearly, that’s all amusing to you,” he mused.

  I finally rasped through my lips, “Of course it is. Connor, it was a one-night stand. Who cares if he’s marriage material?”

  “What?” he muttered, seeming confused with my reply, but before I could explain better, the door to my office opened and one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen entered, transforming energy into something seductive yet dangerous at the same time.

  “Get away from her, Connor,” he ordered.

  The man next to me tensed, while replying, “Or what?”

  Oh my God.

  How did I end up in this high school drama?

  Yuri

  Fury and irrational possessiveness swept through me when I saw Connor close to Melissa, who apparently, by her stance, welcomed it. She even had amusement etched on her face like they discussed something hilarious.

  She clearly still harbored feelings for the agent, and my hand fisted, wanting to smash Connor’s face.

  Pinching the bridge of my nose, I concentrated on breathing and control, because this madness had no explanation. “Or you’ll leave me no choice but to beat you up,” I said. His eyes narrowed and he took a step in my direction, anger rolling from him in waves.

  Interesting.

  Wasn’t he interested in the FBI hacker? Why was he so engrossed in his one-night stand who he rejected? Or did the competition fuel his interest?

  None of the options pleased me, because he let her go, so he had no right to question her about me.

  Suddenly, though, his entire demeanor changed as he blinked and something flashed in his eyes and, for a second, I noticed a slight smile, but it was quickly gone. “Why? Is she yours?” he challenged me, and tension rose as we faced each other… and that was when Melissa cried out, wiggling between us to place a hand on each of our chests. “If you both are done measuring whose dick is bigger, please get the hell out of my office.”

  “She is not mine,” I replied, and her hand tensed on my chest. I fought back the need to hug it closer and soothe it with my touch. Instead, I made everything perfectly clear for the nosy, young agent. “But the last time I checked, she wasn’t yours either. So how about we let the lady decide what she wants?” By how his lips thinned, I knew I had him.

  Yeah, an independent woman and all that jazz. No way would Connor fight me on this. I barely contained the satisfied grin that was ready to spread on my mouth. Instead, I focused on Melissa as she held my stare and I wondered how I could even think she was plain.

  Her exotic eyes could be described as nothing but beauty. “What does the lady want?” I asked, when the familiar energy surged between us and flashes of last night played in my mind, and by her raspy breath, I would bet the same happened to her.

  More like who.

  She didn’t strike me as a woman who would trail after a guy who didn’t want her.

  We stood there for a beat until Connor cursed. “For fuck’s sake.” Then he left us alone as she shook her head.

  I pointed at the door. “If you’re still harboring feelings for him, I’d let go. He is not interested.”

  Her mouth opened and closed as she snorted, but it lacked humor, more like she couldn’t believe I had the nerve to comment.

  But then she straightened, crossed her arms, and scanned me from head to toe while one perfectly trimmed brow rose. “As far as I understood, you aren’t either. So what brings you here, Kaznachei?” She emphasized my title like it was supposed to mean something to us. Then she waved her hand at me. “You know what? Forget it. Just leave, for God’s sake, before someone sees you, and give me back my phone. I assume that’s why you’re here?”

  I took out the thing, walked to the table, and placed it there while picking up mine and dropping it in my pocket.

  She motioned to the door, avoiding my gaze, but the raging beast inside me that couldn’t calm down since this morning didn’t allow me to obey her command and leave.

  Even though it was the smartest thing to do, nothing could have made me do it in that moment.

  I grabbed her by the waist, and she had a minute to gasp before I pushed her against the wall, pressing myself into her. She groaned, probably feeling my hard-on that seemed to be permanent around her. “I didn’t come for just my phone, Melissa.”

  “Get off me, you… you—” Not letting her finish her sentence, I smashed my mouth on hers and bit her lower lip, and as she breathed into me, I thrust my tongue inside, swiping through her velvet softness.

  Fucking finally.

  She tried to kick me and hit me a few times, but I held her strong. In a few moments, she moaned into my mouth and finally allowed me to freely drink from it.

  Melissa was a drug to me, and I needed to get my fill until it beca
me unbearable for both of us. Only when my need was sated would I find peace and everything could go back to normal. Just one more time, and I could go back to my hollow existence.

  Tearing her mouth away from me, she muttered, “You are insane.” But then we locked our lips again, and she fisted my shirt, bringing me as close as possible to her while I pushed my tongue deeper, firmer, needing to forever memorize her taste.

  Common sense didn’t exist in that moment, as I was driven by a need so strong I couldn’t even explain it. As if a raging beast clawed inside me, demanding I stake my claim on this woman when she was in close proximity to the male she used to love.

  Or maybe still did, not that it mattered.

  She was mine. I made her breath hitch. It was my body that gave her pleasure, and I would make damn fucking sure nothing registered in her mind but me.

  I breathed in, letting go of her mouth. She gasped for air as she rested her head on the door, her lips puffy and red from me, and it brought unfamiliar satisfaction within me.

  That’s right, baby. Connor fucking who?

  I rubbed her lower lip with my thumb, lifting her chin a little, and skimmed my lips over her neck, licking and biting on the beautiful skin that would hold my marks for hours. With each touch, her pulse sped up and her raspy breath filled my ears. I could practically imagine her dripping for me as she rubbed her thighs together, and I couldn’t have that.

  When she was with me, only I had the right to give her pleasure.

  My hands slid down her hips, getting off on the fullness they provided as they could cradle me so fucking good. Thank fuck she wore a skirt as I rolled it up, up, up, and then I slipped my fingers to her skin and gripped her tightly, earning myself a moan. “Yuri, this is my workplace.” Nothing but desire laced her voice. “We can’t.” But her actions contradicted her words, as she wrapped her legs around me and her hands tunneled in my hair, pulling it roughly.

  “No one will enter.” The fucking floor seemed so secluded a fly would have flown through and everyone would hear it. Clearly, Melissa didn’t like company; otherwise, what explained such a workplace?

  Unzipping my pants, I quietly took out a condom from the back of my pants and her brows furrowed. “Always ready?” Instead of answering, because no way in fuck was I telling her that I made sure to stock up in advance, knowing full well I wouldn’t be able to resist her, I grabbed her by the nape and bit her chin until she gasped.

  My gaze slid to her chest as it rose and fell, and although the white shirt didn’t let me see anything, my mouth still remembered her pink nipples that were so fucking bitable.

  I longed to rip the shirt open and feast on her creamy flesh, but some common sense still resided in me. She wouldn’t be able to put herself together after that.

  I wanted everyone to see marks on her, but I didn’t want to embarrass her.

  Finally gloved, I thrust inside her and caught her scream with my mouth, at the same time pulling her hair so she’d arch her back more and give me better access.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck.

  Being inside her felt nothing like heaven, no. It was hell on earth, and I wanted to burn to ashes in it.

  She squeezed me so tight I had barely any space to move, and her heated pussy was so wet.

  Wrapping my hand around her neck, I pressed her against the wall as our gazes clashed, and I growled, “Who made you this wet?” I jerked back and entered her again, pushing her roughly against the wall as she whimpered. “Answer me.” I needed her to say my name, the image of Connor standing in a protective stance over her still playing in my mind.

  Even though my conscious mind screamed for me to shut up and enjoy it, I couldn’t. “You,” she replied, licking her lips before hiding her face between my shoulder and neck, nipping on the skin as she kept whimpering in my ear, a sound that went straight to my cock, which pushed deeper and harder into her with each thrust.

  I just couldn’t get enough. “And my name is?” She tightened her hold on me and I closed my eyes, as she squeezed her inner muscles and provided such a grip I almost came right there.

  “Stop teasing me, you awful man,” she whispered in my ear, licking the lobe and then tugging it with her teeth. “Give us what we both want.”

  Want? If I had the choice, I wouldn’t have wanted any of it.

  The word need, however, described this madness accurately.

  Taking her hands in mine, I raised them, pressing them against the door. She gulped. My other hand slid down her breasts, to her stomach, which dipped under my touch, and then I reached her clit, lightly grazing it with my middle finger.

  Her cheeks flushed as she groaned, shifting in my arms and seeking the added sensation, but I stopped. “No.” She moaned, but I licked her neck up to her ear, murmuring, “Tell me what I want to hear.” I sucked on her flesh, while my hips continued to move back and forth bringing us closer and closer to the brink, but not allowing us to reach it, because I didn’t want it yet.

  She had to admit it was me. I couldn’t even explain it to myself, but she had to say the words. “You freak—” My kiss shut her up as I sucked her tongue, and she pulled on her hands, but even there I didn’t budge.

  “Say my name and I’ll give what you want,” I repeated, licking around her lips while sweat dripped from both of us. I could barely breathe in my suit, but I didn’t care.

  She had to admit.

  No way in fuck was my woman—

  The sudden thought that slammed into me halted my movements, as I froze, breathing heavily, and for a moment clarity came back.

  What the fuck was I doing?

  She wasn’t mine; she’d never be mine.

  “Yuri?” she asked, slight worry present in her tone, but she was still a prisoner of the lustful haze, and I covered her mouth with mine once again. While I flicked her clit and thrust inside her, I sped up my movements and closed off everything but the sensation my body provided.

  And then she screamed, although it got muffled by my mouth, finally finding her release. Her pussy clamped down as hot lava rushed from me, pulling my balls tighter; nothing would have stopped me from coming.

  Biting harshly on her skin, I came, giving her myself for the last time, and for a moment, I savored the connection.

  But then the sounds, the echoes, the sweat dripping down our skin registered, and along with it came the memories.

  Memories that reminded me with each day why I could never call a woman like Melissa mine.

  “This was—” she started, still hiding her face.

  I replied, “A goodbye. I’m leaving.”

  A jolt ran through her as she jerked in my arms, her body tensing, but otherwise her voice stayed steady. “Well, then. You do leave in style,” she joked, moving some strands of her hair as I faced her.

  Did I really think she wasn’t beautiful? Somehow, with her cheeks flushed, her eyes still holding the traces of our sex, and her full lips, I’d never seen a more beautiful woman in my life.

  Which was a betraying thought in itself.

  Even though I could see emotions swirling in those brown pools, I knew she wouldn’t make a scene and would act the part perfectly.

  She was a perfect one-night stand.

  Funnily enough, I’d never felt more like a coward.

  Chapter Four

  This is Us

  Moscow, Russia

  Yuri, 16 years old

  “Gleb, I swear to God, if you don’t turn the volume down, I will punch you in the face,” I shouted over the loud and long moans coming from the TV, as Gleb watched porn while eating popcorn and drinking beer. We had a break from training due to Christmas.

  He threw the popcorn at me, and I dodged it while he laughed, the idiot. “Cheer up, Yuri, or pay close attention. You might learn a thing or two before losing your virginity,” he said and then took a long sip from his drink, but spilled it when Vitya smacked him on the back of his head.

  Dominic chose that moment to speak up. “Cut this shi
t, Gleb. Even I’m tired of you watching porn all day long. Not like you’re using much of your skills.” I didn't give a shit what everyone said and didn't hide my status as a virgin here. Sex as a whole didn't interest me much, and I had yet to meet a woman who would inspire the emotion in me. Sure my dick got hard and I jerked off from time to time, but it was more a physical reaction. Well-used whores were not my jam.

  “I had sex last night. Twice,” he replied with a smirk, but I just rolled my eyes. Gleb was the only one who had a high libido out of all of us and got some kind of high from fucking as much as he could.

  “I’m leaving.” I rose, grabbed my jacket and keys for the bike, and strolled to the door. “See you later.” I closed the door after me and moved effortlessly through the headquarters while most of the members greeted me with cheers and drinks, celebrating the upcoming year.

  A few whores smiled my way, but I just shook my head. No need to be unkind to the women, but honestly, they were gross. I couldn’t imagine fucking someone who just sucked off or fucked other members.

  Radmir caught my arm, halting my movements as he scanned my appearance. “Where to?”

  Annoyance swept through me. I wasn't a fucking child to be asked constantly about my whereabouts, so I hissed through gritted teeth, “Outside. Need fresh air. I’ll ride my bike for an hour and come back.” He nodded but didn't let me go.

  “Radmir.”

  Anger laced my voice, but he squeezed the arm tighter while whispering, “No emotions in the brotherhood, Yuri.” Then he let me go and I rushed outside, desperately seeking the frigid air in my lungs and the snowflakes on my skin, cooling and bringing relief to the raging inferno within me.

  No emotions. Was it easy to do when I saw them kill a family man just because he owed them a debt? Or when a woman was forced to work as a whore just because she had no other options and a kid waited for her at home?