by Mason, V. F.
“What about it?” My bored tone clearly didn’t please Vasya, as fury crossed his face. In two short strides, he reached me and grabbed me hard by the nape, shifting us so I would look directly into his eyes.
“You purposely jeopardized it!” he yelled at m,e but instead of listening as I always did, I removed his hold and pushed him back, causing him to stumble.
Dominic cursed and quickly joined us, standing like a buffer between us while Vasya seethed. “You lost your mind, Yuri?” He fished for the gun on his side, when Dom shook his head.
“He didn’t mean it, Pakhan. He is drunk. Look at him. Today’s date.” He pointed at me, and I wanted to say something, but Gleb’s hand on my shoulders stopped me.
“He is putting himself on the line for you. Shut the fuck up,” Gleb hissed into my ear, and I stilled. Although I wasn’t afraid to get punished, I didn’t wish to bring pain to my friends.
Even if nothing was left of this so-called friendship lately.
“It’s not only about Savannah!” Vasya shouts, still trying to aim the gun at me, although the guys blocked me. What the fuck were they doing? No one could stop Pakhan from acting on his desires. “He is constantly drunk. High. Does whatever he pleases. Kills even those I didn’t order, too. Not to mention all the women who come and go here. We don’t know who sends them.” He punched Dom in the face, forcing him to step back, and faced me. “Who do you think you are?”
Straightening my spine, I held his gaze. “A human.” He cursed and raised his fist to me, but I caught it in mine, squeezing it tightly. He winced, his cheeks shaking, and was barely able to stand under my strength.
The only reason he could get away with punching us was because we showed respect—well, the guys did anyway. He lost mine a long time ago and only added more to it when he allowed Radmir to rot in prison back in the States for a crime he didn’t commit.
Pakhan didn’t have my fucking loyalty.
Without further words, I threw him on the floor where he landed with a solid thump.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Gleb muttered and was about to help Vasya, when I pointed my gun at him and everyone froze.
Everything ceased to exist as I removed the safety, and Vasya didn’t even move, awaiting my words. “You killed the woman I loved.” Although a mask of indifference settled on his face, I knew better. Kuzmin hadn’t broken the law back then. Vasya just organized a specific plan to stir trouble for them and, with any luck, kill Savannah in the process.
He had big plans for the genius in the brotherhood, as he liked to call me, and me loving a woman proved a challenge. I didn’t have proof, not at first.
But then I started to investigate, and people were willing to talk, for the right price.
“She was collateral damage. I warned you not to get attached to her.” Vitya pointed his gun at me while Dom did the same, but Vasya’s hand stopped them. “I knew about you for years. You really think I’d want her dead? You shouldn’t have started a relationship. Maybe if you didn’t run to her, she wouldn’t have died,” he finished, and I froze.
The buzzing in my ears intensified while her dead face appeared before my eyes. Paralyzing pain penetrated my bones and I screamed, punching my head while Gleb quickly took the gun from me and held me.
Vasya wouldn’t punish me for this outburst, but from that day on, I lost something more valuable.
The trust of my friends who no longer considered me a part of their circle.
It would take us several tragedies to get close, but eventually we would come back to it.
Back then, I didn’t understand they were the only family I had.
And that maybe in some ways Bratva was my salvation and not a curse.
New York, New York
February 2018
Yuri
Inhaling the cigarette, I exhaled the smoke as I leaned back on the brick wall, watching Melissa walk slowly to her condo holding a bakery bag to her stomach. She looked rather funny trudging along in her Uggs, oversized sweater, and jacket that made her look a bit bigger than she actually was.
Her ponytail swayed from side to side as she smiled widely and lifted her face up to the sun, probably enjoying this unusually warm February day in New York.
I couldn’t fucking stand the distance this stubborn woman placed between us, leaving me nothing but to watch her from the other side of the road like a little sub.
It had been five months since she announced the news of her pregnancy and all hell broke loose. She completely ignored me and my calls, dodged all meetings unless it had to do with Bratva business. We had to deal with Dominic’s, Radmir’s, and even Gleb’s shit through all those months, and she even came to Russia regularly because the FBI demanded for her to oversee the cases with our enemies since one or more were always connected with the United States.
In the meantime, we had three weddings of my best friends, and they were all blissfully happy, while I couldn’t even make my woman look at me, damn it!
She might as well have been miles away from me, considering she kept me at arm’s length, and no matter how much I tried to explain my initial stupidity, she didn’t budge. It didn’t help matters that I acted like a fucking moron and said some stuff I shouldn’t have, like claiming to the guys it was just sex or that it meant nothing.
When it meant everything.
Every man had a limit, and she was about to meet mine, because the time for the good guy who took her shit had ended. I tried to be nice and all, but fuck it.
The possessive beast in me demanded to be present through every milestone, and her update emails didn’t cut it.
I was ready to grovel all-fucking-night, but I’d do in on my knees worshiping her beautiful body and not a world away from her where she dished excuse after excuse just to cover up how much I’d hurt her.
Anton whistled to the guys hiding in the bushes and motioned for them to stay put. I had Melissa watched twenty-four seven, despite her claims she was an agent and all.
No one would protect mine better than me, so since she wouldn’t willingly accept my help, I had to be sneaky about it.
“Romeo, you’re here again!” Anton snickered while I stayed silent. The constant jokes got on my nerves, but I’d noticed that it pissed everyone off when I didn’t react, so it was my tactic for the time being. “But in all honesty, aren’t you tired of this?” he asked, snapping something with his phone. “Just go to the girl and make up already. Tell her you were a stupid dick and that’s it.” After he finished, he blinked at me, expecting something.
Throwing my cigarette on the concrete, I stepped on it, walked close to Anton, and said slowly, “Do I have to—” I paused and then shouted in his face. “—explain myself to you now?” He shook his head, probably remembering his rank.
Although he wasn’t a recruit, he still had to prove himself to the brotherhood, and so far I wasn’t much impressed with his constant threesomes and easygoing nature. Last thing we needed was a man led by his dick.
But he was right about one thing.
This had to end.
“I’m going in. The minute you see something suspicious, you let me know immediately. Do you understand?” He nodded then I moved in the direction of her condo, looking from side to side while making sure no one but my men stood there. I couldn’t shake the feeling of being watched.
Although after my visit to Aleksei, Kuzmin didn’t strike again, but I didn’t think they were done with their attacks. I wondered why they stopped when they had started so aggressively. Surely Kuzmin knew before attacking me that there would be repercussions.
What changed his mind? My calculating brain just couldn’t let it go, even if everyone claimed he just got scared.
Shaking my head from the bad shit, I took a deep breath and knocked on the door, and although the few seconds it took for her to answer felt like fucking hours, the door opened and Melissa’s flushed face greeted me.
My heart stopped, only to furiously beat again.
>
She had that power, delivering a sucker punch to me with one glance alone.
Her mesmerizing brown eyes widened in surprise as she licked her lips, and my focus automatically went to how red and plump they were; she probably nibbled on them while searching for her keys to enter the house.
Some habits never change.
“Yuri.” My brows furrowed at her slightly shaken voice. Did my presence unsettle her so much? The last thing I needed was adding to her stress, but she left me no choice. “What are you doing here?”
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” I decided to ignore her rather obvious question.
She folded her arms. “No. Why should I?” The way she said it, as if there was really nothing to discuss? I couldn’t stand it.
So I gently pushed her forward and stepped inside, shutting the door behind me, while she cried out, “What are you doing? Get out, Yuri.”
“I think enough is enough, right, Melissa?”
She opened and closed her lips but finally nodded. “You’re right. Let’s talk like normal adults.” She cleared her throat. “We are going to have a baby, after all. You want to discuss the care, I assume?”
Holding her stare, I came closer so that the tip of my leather shoes touched her fluffy red slippers and I shook my head, almost groaning from her vanilla scent that instantly calmed me down despite the fury brewing in her gaze. “I want to discuss us.”
She blinked rapidly but then laughed bitterly, the sound sending chills down my spine, but more from the pain that for a brief moment appeared in her dead brown eyes. “Us? There is no us, remember? You told me so yourself. We are nothing but ex-fuck buddies.”
“Melissa—”
The punch to the chest didn’t let me finish as she hit again, anger lacing her voice. “For months, you said so to your friends too. That I’m nothing but your child’s mother. And now you want to come here and change your mind?” She huffed, running her fingers through her hair. “That’s not going to happen, Yuri. There is no us, because there never was an us.” She finished and her shoulders sagged as if some internal battle left her. “Now please, just leave, because—”
Her voice hitched as she placed her hand on her rounded stomach and my hands moved of their own accord, covering hers while I asked, “Is something wrong?” Instead of answering though, she pressed my hands tighter against her skin, and that was when I felt it.
A firm kick against my hand. “The baby is kicking.”
She nodded but then laughed. “For two months now. He is very active.” She huffed. “Especially during the night.”
I froze at her words, gulping air before questioning, “He?” She could have just used it for the heck of it, but I knew she had ultrasounds, although I was never fucking invited. I didn’t want to stress her during those screenings, so I never ambushed her there.
After a beat, she replied, “Yeah. She accidentally told me even though I didn’t want to know before the birth.”
A smile spread on my mouth even if the happiness inside me was mixed with fear. I had no fucking clue how to be a father, but I’d do my best to protect my child. “You have a name in mind?”
“Arthur,” she said quickly, and then pressed her fingers against her lips. “It’s not that I planned to use it without consulting you first, but—”
I caught her chin between my index finger and thumb, raising it a bit higher, and before my move could register, I gave her a soft peck on the lips. “I like it. Although I prefer Artur, the Russian version of the name.” Her eyes widened as we held each other’s stare, and I leaned forward, growling, “God, I missed you so fucking—”
She quickly stepped back and avoided my gaze as she marched to the door, saying over her shoulder, “You need to leave. I will update you about the birth. And yeah, stop sending those stupid fluffy things to my house, please. I have enough of them.” She spoke so easily, so matter-of-factly, as if we discussed weather and not our future.
My upryamaya didn’t intend to make it easy for me, not that I expected it.
But maybe I should give her a reminder of what she was missing.
Melissa
“This thing between us is not over, Melissa,” Kaznachei warned as I opened the door wide and patiently waited for him to leave me the hell alone.
Even if everything inside me rebelled against the idea.
But I couldn't be weak, couldn't let my emotions control my actions, because at the end, it would be me again who would have to pick up the pieces, and I wasn't sure I had any strength left in me to do that once again in my life.
The hallway of my two-bedroom condo seemed exceptionally small when his energy filled the space.
“You are right,” I replied as he stopped just inches away from me, but before he could open his mouth and add something, I continued. “How can something end if it never started, right?” His blue eyes filled with annoyance, and I spun around to march back upstairs and forget this fiasco of a conversation. To my surprise, he wrapped his hands around my hips and brought me closer to his chest, so I couldn't miss his hard-on digging into my lower back.
“Never started, upryamaya?”
Someone should make his voice illegal for the shivers it sent down my spine. I closed my eyes and tried to think about all the reasons we shouldn't and couldn't be together, but came up blank when his scent washed over me.
He ran his nose from my shoulder to my neck, while whispering against my skin, “Your punishment is killing me.” His arms locked around my waist, while my heartbeat sped up. My breath hitched, because I’d missed him so much, and my eyes closed, savoring this moment where I didn't have to wonder if it was me he wanted or the baby.
Even though I knew if it weren't for the baby, I wouldn't even factor into the equation of his life. How could a woman be so weak and accept scraps from a man? Did love make you do stupid things? I wouldn't know, because I’d never felt this way before about anyone but him.
Tunneling his fingers in my hair, he leaned my head back to rest on his shoulder while skimming his beard over my cheek, causing goose bumps to rise on my skin. “Your stubbornness makes us both suffer. I want nothing more than to fuck you for hours so you will remember who you belong to without stupid thoughts clouding your judgment.” And just like that, the cocoon of desire and need he had created vanished, and I freed myself from him, turning to face him while both of us breathed heavily.
That was always the problem, wasn't it? He never wanted more than sex; meanwhile, I fell for him like the idiot I was.
“This is over, Yuri. I’m not anyone’s second best.” I pushed him hard in the chest and he stumbled back, not expecting the impact. “Leave my house or I will call the cops.” Which sounded laughable really, considering I was an FBI agent, but nothing else would make him leave.
His opened his mouth to say something, but I closed my ears and shouted, “For the love of God, leave!” The scream reverberated through the room, stopping him dead in his tracks as his eyes shone with concern. “I cannot see your guilty face anymore! You bring nothing but pain to me, Yuri,” I finished with a whisper, and something flashed in him, as he shook his head then grabbed his jacket and did what I asked.
The door shut loudly after him as the loneliness surrounded me and swallowed me whole.
Tears streamed down my face as I sank to my knees and allowed myself to weep for all my shattered dreams.
Maybe I should have accepted what he had to offer, a life full of obligation and heat with a man who loved his dead ex. A man who would never be able to fully move on and live in a country where he planned his future with her.
Maybe it would have been less lonely and, in time, I’d have gotten used to it. But even just picturing it for one brief moment brought nothing but the bile up my throat that threatened to escape.
I might have not been the love of his life, but I deserved someone who wanted me first and didn’t use me as a substitute for someone he could never have.
Rubbing m
y stomach gently, I murmured, “I’m sorry, little one, but Mommy can’t build a family like that.” Thankfully, I knew for a fact he would keep interacting with the baby and raise it as his. A man like him would never allow anyone else to claim his baby as theirs, so at least I didn’t have to live with constant guilt over separating my child and Yuri from each other.
Walking to the kitchen, I turned on the kettle and looked at it numbly as it made more and more sounds in the otherwise silent place.
Maybe that was why I didn’t hear anything before leather-covered hands wrapped around my waist, and then someone pressed a smelly cloth to my mouth, and as much as I struggled, I couldn’t get out.
Slowly, the smell started to get to my head and strength left me, and the last thought on my mind before I succumbed to darkness was that I should have listened to Yuri.
Instead, I placed my baby and myself in danger.
A man with no name
Lifting a glass of champagne, I drank one sip and threw the glass on the floor, causing the woman kneeling in front of me to jump. I kicked her in the stomach, and she fell on her ass, crying out, but my stare shut her up really quick.
Zipping my pants, I called, “Take her away from here.” John came in, grinning from ear to ear, and because he’d finally delivered the bitch to me, I could be generous.
Good behavior should be reworded for loyalty. “You can play with her.”
He licked his lips as his eyes flashed with new life, while a sadistic smile graced his face. “Really?”
The idiot liked to stab females multiple times and fuck them while they bled to death. He couldn’t always indulge though, but I could grant him the gift this time. “Yes.” He bowed and then fisted her hair, dragging her up as she struggled in his hold, her torn dress barely covering her bruised skin.
The bitch was useless anyway, not worth the money I paid for her. Good riddance.
She cried all the way to the door, as if it would change anything. They were nothing but faceless bodies that served only for the purpose of pleasure for the client.