‘I never said “murdered”,’ Howard said.
‘See?’ Marie said.
‘I just said “killed”. It wasn’t like I jumped out of a dark alley or anything. It was more an accident.’ Suddenly he dropped his eyes, as if struck by an unpleasant memory. He played with the keys in his hands.
The three women glanced at each other, reacting to what seemed suddenly to be a core of truth.
Quietly Rosetta said, ‘How did it happen?’
Howard said nothing.
Marie said, ‘Was it self-defence, or what?’
‘Go on,’ Jenny said. ‘I bet if you tell her she’ll go for a ride in your Jag.’
Nobody laughed. For a moment nobody spoke. Then Howard looked up at Marie. ‘Would you?’
‘I might,’ Marie said.
‘It was no big deal,’ Howard said with a jerky shrug. ‘I was working at this place, and the boss was an old bloke, but he got at me all the time. Nothing I ever did was right. And then he said he wanted to see me, and he accused me of some stuff and it was all lies but he just wouldn’t listen and so I kind of hit him. With a piece of wood. And I found out later he died.’
‘There was a piece of wood handy?’ Jenny said.
‘It was the stock of a gun. There were some old guns around,’ Howard said.
The three women were silent as they absorbed what they had been told.
‘So,’ Howard said to Marie, ‘are you going to come for a ride with me? Or are you chicken?’
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
When the telephone rang, Gina answered it immediately.
Charlie said, ‘I certainly didn’t expect to be talking to you again today. I have this recurrent dream. There I am, sitting at home, my feet up, maybe watching a film on the tele. But each time I wake up and I’m still at work.’
‘What’s happened?’ Gina said. ‘Has Varden talked to Howard?’
‘Howard’s nowhere to be found,’ Charlie said. ‘This is about something else altogether.’
‘What?’
‘Gina, do you know where your children are?’ Charlie asked.
‘My children?’ Gina looked at David, who was watching her across the kitchen table. ‘David’s here. Has something happened to Marie?’
‘Not those children,’ Charlie said. ‘I mean your other children. Your older children.’
‘I don’t understand,’ Gina said. Then, ‘It’s not Angelo, is it?’
‘Worse,’ Charlie said. ‘I’ve got your in-laws down here.’
All three women accompanied Howard to the university carpark. ‘See,’ he said. ‘It is a Jag. I told you.’
‘So it is,’ Jenny said.
‘You didn’t believe me,’ Howard said.
‘I’m impressed,’ Marie said. ‘It’s good. Isn’t it, Auntie Rose?’
Rosetta’s joie de vivre had floated farther away with each successive rum and coke. As with the wine two nights before, the higher her blood alcohol got, the more bitter she became about Walter. And now, his message. Rosetta had no interest in anybody’s Jag. So she said nothing.
‘Shall we get in?’ Howard said to Marie.
‘OK.’
He could hardly believe it. He fumbled at the car door with his keys. ‘Great!’ he said.
‘But only if my friends come too,’ Marie said.
Gina offered to drive to the station to collect Mama and the Old Man but Charlie said he would drop them off on his way home. ‘Home,’ he repeated. ‘Such an unfamiliar word …’
But in the event Charlie came up for a cup of coffee and to recount the extraordinary behaviour of Gina’s in-laws. ‘I couldn’t believe it,’ he said. ‘I had my jacket on. I had my briefcase in my hand. And then I get this call from downstairs.’
‘Who else should we call?’ the Old Man said.
‘I’m not complaining, Mr Lunghi,’ Charlie said. ‘I’m just saying I was surprised. When was the last time you or Mrs Lunghi was in a police station?’
‘Those terrible boys were breaking in,’ Mama said. ‘To steal. They were criminals.’
‘What boys?’ David said.
Charlie said, ‘Two lads saw that the door at this Block Letter place had been forced. They went home to get their van and came back to cart away whatever they could load into it. Shows a bit more initiative than most of them have. Your common or garden opportunist doesn’t go home for the van. But they certainly didn’t bargain for the likes of these two.’
‘But what were you doing at Block Letter?’ Gina asked Mama and the Old Man.
‘Not at,’ Charlie said. ‘In. They were inside.’
Gina looked from the Old Man to Mama.
Charlie said, ‘These two malefactors were the ones who forced the door in the first place. They only told me that on the ride here.’
‘To you, Charlie, we should tell the truth,’ the Old Man said.
‘Don’t blame me,’ Mama said. ‘It was not my idea.’
‘They got a come-uppance, the two hooligans,’ the Old Man said with tired pride.
To Gina Charlie said, ‘What your in-laws told the booking sergeant was that they were walking past the open door and thought the lads were behaving suspiciously. The one they captured kept saying, “They was inside already!” but of course nobody believed him.’
‘You captured someone?’ David said.
‘He was a thief,’ Mama said. ‘And I didn’t hit so hard he should make all that noise.’
‘The other one ran,’ Charlie said, ‘but we have the van owner in custody. Your avenging in-laws caught up with him while he was trying to get it started.’
‘Needs a service,’ the Old Man said.
‘Even if he got away,’ Mama said, ‘we saw his registration number.’
‘So you didn’t have to hit,’ the Old Man said.
‘Easy to say now,’ Mama said.
‘This one we got will rat on the other,’ the Old Man said. ‘You can tell.’
‘Who got?’ Mama said.
Gina said, ‘But you didn’t answer my question. What were you doing at Block Letter?’
‘Ah,’ the Old Man said. ‘You got the papers?’
Mama took a sheaf of documents from her handbag. ‘What do you think? I dropped them?’
‘African,’ the Old Man said. ‘Like Shayler told us.’
‘Shayler?’ Gina said. ‘As in our client?’
‘Oh, by the way, Mum,’ David said, ‘Mr and Mrs Shayler came to consult us this afternoon.’
‘They what?’
‘Grandad took them up to the flat,’ David said.
‘Why didn’t you tell me, David?’ Gina said.
‘I meant to. Sorry.’
‘Is there anything else you want to tell me?’
‘Listen,’ the Old Man said. ‘Nobody tells her anything. Now she knows what it’s like.’
‘For instance,’ Gina said, ‘does anybody know where Angelo is? And what he’s up to with Muffin?’
Angelo got off the train tired but satisfied. He went down the stairs and through the underpass and it wasn’t until he had emerged in front of the station that he began to think again about what he should say to Salvatore. Not to mention Gina. He crossed at the lights and headed toward home.
As he walked along the side of the bus station, a car squealed to a halt behind him. He turned to the sound and saw the car was a Jaguar. He stopped to admire it. One of the older models. Now that was a car.
As Angelo watched, the Jag’s passenger door opened and a young woman backed out, bending into the car’s interior. In a moment Angelo could see why. The first young woman—who put him in mind of Marie—helped a second young woman out. This one, in turn, helped a third.
The third woman was Rosetta. And, yes, the first woman was Marie. Angelo set off toward the Jaguar. ‘Marie! Rosetta!’
As Angelo drew close he heard a weedy male voice say, ‘But you promised you’d come out with me again.’
‘I didn’t say when!’ Marie said. ‘Do
n’t call me. I’ll call you.’ She slammed the passenger door. The three women moved away from the car at a trot.
‘Marie?’ Angelo said.
‘Dad!’ Marie said. ‘We’re just going to the chipper before Jenny catches her bus. We’re starving!’
‘Hi, Mr Lunghi!’ Jenny said.
Behind Marie, Jenny and Rosetta Angelo saw the driver of the Jaguar open his door and begin to emerge. ‘Marie, who is that in the car?’
‘He says he’s Clint,’ Marie said.
Jenny giggled. After a moment’s delay, Rosetta laughed too, loudly.
‘Auntie Rose is pissed,’ Marie said.
‘I’m pissed,’ Rosetta said. ‘Pissed as a newt.’
The Jaguar driver saw the three women talking to Angelo. He got back in his car, revved his engine, and screeched away.
‘Newt, newt,’ Rosetta said.
‘But he’s really Howard!’ Marie said.
‘Howard?’ Angelo said. ‘Howard the Printer?’ He looked after the Jag.
‘Tonight he was Howard the Detective,’ Marie said.
‘Newt,’ Rosetta said.
‘He fancies Marie,’ Jenny said.
‘Who does?’ Angelo said.
‘Howard does!’ Marie said. ‘He gave me his home phone number and everything. And he told us the most amazing story!’
‘Walter,’ Rosetta said. ‘Walter.’
‘What?’ Angelo said.
‘Walter is a newt,’ Rosetta said. ‘He says he’s going to have it reversed. But I don’t want his baby, Angelo. I don’t want it. I’m too young. Besides, someone else is coming to lunch tomorrow. So you tell Gina, I don’t want Walter’s baby. OK?’
CHAPTER NINETEEN
‘It wasn’t a real murder,’ the Old Man said.
‘I bet the dead man doesn’t agree with you, Papa,’ Salvatore said.
‘Will you have some spaghetti, Mr White?’ Mama asked. ‘Shall I put some on your plate?’
‘Yes, thank you. And, please, my friends call me Iggy,’ Ignatius White said.
‘And some sauce, Iggy?’ Mama said. ‘It’s got mussels, my own recipe.’
‘Wonderful.’
‘I mean it wasn’t a real murder case,’ the Old Man said. ‘Not with surveillance and investigation and routine and detail.’
‘I’m sure the police did plenty of that,’ Salvatore said.
‘But we didn’t,’ the Old Man said. ‘That’s the point.’
‘Are they going to arrest him?’ Marie asked.
‘They may already have done it,’ Gina said. ‘Charlie said they were going to his house this morning.’
‘Oooh, poor Howard,’ Marie said.
‘But he’s awful, Marie!’ Rosetta said. ‘So smirky, and full of himself, and think what he did to that poor man.’ Rosetta shivered.
‘We must remain mindful of the victim, is what I say,’ Ignatius White said.
‘But think,’ Marie said. ‘He woke up this morning and thought it was just another day. He went down to have breakfast with his mother planning to tell her all about the gorgeous women he had in his car last night. And suddenly, there’s a knock at the door! Who can it be at this time on a Sunday? And even then he doesn’t have the slightest hint that his whole world is about to crumble.’
‘Some world,’ the Old Man said.
‘It can’t be helped,’ Angelo said. ‘Solve one person’s problem, and you make a problem for the next.’
‘That’s a bit philosophical,’ Gina said.
‘Maybe I’m in the wrong business,’ Angelo said.
‘Maybe it should be the knight in shining armour business,’ Gina suggested.
‘What could I do?’ Angelo asked.
‘I made the broccoli with almonds, Iggy,’ Rosetta said.
‘It’s delicious,’ Ignatius White said. ‘Everything is delicious, truly. But the broccoli is specially commended. Might I have some more?’
Mama’s eyes shone as she passed the broccoli. ‘So tell me, Iggy,’ she said, ‘what do you do for a living?’
‘At the moment I install computers. But I’m moving into sales.’
‘Not a lawyer, then?’ the Old Man said.
‘More Parmesan?’ Mama said abruptly. ‘That’s not enough.’
‘It’s plenty,’ the Old Man said. ‘Is it supposed to be a blanket?’ After a moment he sprinkled another spoonful of Parmesan over his spaghetti.
‘That’s how I met your lovely daughter, the computers,’ Ignatius White said.
‘And Iggy is going to save us lots of money,’ Rosetta said.
‘Money?’ the Old Man said.
‘How’s that, Rose?’ Angelo asked.
‘You know all this new equipment we have on trial?’
‘On trial?’ Angelo said. ‘I thought we bought it.’
‘Noooo, silly! I haven’t signed anything,’ Rosetta said. ‘But Iggy knows how we can get it cheaper.’
‘Nothing fraudulent, I hope,’ Angelo said. ‘Not that I’m accusing you of dishonesty,’ he added quickly. ‘It’s just that we have an investigation that has suddenly become a large fraud case.’
‘We?’ the Old Man said to Mama. ‘He says “We”? So where is he when the Shaylers want to consult?’
‘Yes, Angelo,’ Gina said quietly, ‘do tell us what you were up to yesterday while the rest of us were capturing thieves in their vans, gathering evidence for fraud cases, and solving murders.’
‘I heard that,’ the Old Man said. ‘And it wasn’t a murder. Not a real murder.’
‘He hears when he wants to hear,’ Mama said to Gina, shaking her head.
‘Are the African documents you brought home last night the fraud evidence, Grandma?’ David asked.
‘That’s right,’ Mama said.
‘All for companies that don’t exist,’ the Old Man said. ‘Order forms, invoice forms, receipt forms, and not one company is real. Not one.’
‘Is it against the law to print forms for fake companies?’ David asked.
‘You can print what you like,’ the Old Man said.
‘So what’s the fraud?’
‘When you go to the bank to borrow money because you’re doing such wonderful business in Africa, that’s the fraud. Huh!’
Angelo said, ‘If you use the documents to pretend you have assets, and then borrow money on those assets.’
‘Like,’ David said, ‘if we borrowed money on our new computers, but they aren’t really ours?’
‘That’s the idea,’ Angelo said. ‘Only with this case the idea was probably to borrow a lot of money and then abscond to a country where there’s no extradition and live in luxury.’
‘Can anybody do that?’ Marie asked.
‘Not stupid people who get low GCSEs,’ David said.
Marie smacked David’s arm. ‘They were just mocks, as you know perfectly well.’
‘A fraud case, that’s what it is,’ the Old Man said. ‘Not murder.’
‘How much money was involved?’ Salvatore asked.
‘No telling until they go through the details,’ Gina said.
‘No fun sorting all that out,’ Salvatore said.
‘I wondered if maybe they’ll get Mr Shayler to do it,’ Gina said.
‘Fun?’ the Old Man said. ‘Work has to be fun? When did they make a law? Huh!’
‘Go on, Papa,’ Salvatore said. ‘Are you telling me you didn’t get a kick out of breaking into Block Letter? Because if you tell me that, I won’t believe you.’
‘A son should believe his father,’ the Old Man said, but he could not help grinning.
‘See,’ Salvatore said. ‘What he is at heart is a ram raider.’
‘Someone had to do it,’ the Old Man said. ‘With nobody else around.’ He rubbed the shoulder that broke Block Letter’s door open. ‘Pepper. Where’s the pepper?’
‘Here it is, Grandad!’ Marie said brightly, passing the pepper.
Gina said, ‘Sally, I thought you were going to bring someone to lun
ch?’
‘She couldn’t come,’ Salvatore said. ‘She had to work.’
‘Work?’ Mama said. ‘She’s a tourist.’
‘It’s not Muffin, Mama. This is a girl called Cheryl.’
‘Cheryl?’ Mama asked. ‘But—’
‘I don’t know what’s happened to Muffin,’ Salvatore said. ‘She just vanished.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ Mama said. ‘Muffins don’t vanish.’
‘Angelo knows about Muffin,’ Gina said.
‘Do you, bubba?’
‘Angelo?’ Mama said.
‘Muffin went home,’ Angelo said.
‘Home?’ Mama said. ‘What do you mean, home?’
‘Back to America, Mama.’
‘Why would she do that?’ Mama said. She frowned deeply. ‘So sudden. Salvatore?’
‘I don’t know anything about it,’ Salvatore said.
‘Muffin flew back to America yesterday,’ Angelo said. ‘She’s trying to sort out a difficult personal problem.’
‘What personal problem?’ Mama demanded. ‘Salvatore, why does Angelo know all about this nice girl?’
Angelo said, ‘Muffin needed to go back to America, but she was afraid and nervous, so I went to the airport with her.’
‘Why was she afraid?’ Mama said. ‘What did Salvatore do to upset her so much?’
‘I know you liked her, Mama,’ Salvatore said. ‘I liked her too. But I don’t know anything about it.’
‘It was nothing to do with Salvatore,’ Angelo said. ‘She had a different problem altogether. Truly, Mama.’
Mama sighed. Could there be a more difficult problem than Salvatore? And if he’s always going to disappoint, why bring them to the house at all? Why torment a mother so? Mama said nothing.
‘Is Muffin really gone forever, Dad?’ David asked.
Angelo nodded.
‘But she was going to teach me things on the computer.’
‘And she owes me money,’ Marie said. ‘Ten quid.’
‘So what’s this new one you got?’ the Old Man asked. ‘Another doctor?’
‘No, Papa,’ Salvatore said with a laugh.
‘A lawyer, maybe? To support you with her income?’ But before the Old Man could develop either a legal or a financial theme, the door bell rang. ‘Is somebody expecting?’ the Old Man asked. He looked around his family.
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