Percy roused the babies and found some clothes which had been aired out for a few days. Maybe tomorrow he would be able to scrounge enough change to make it to the laundromat or perhaps a teacher might do a load for them. He, too, bled a life full of maybes. He walked them to school, many of the children kept a mocking distance from them. The babies without combed hair who smelled funny were easy targets, even from children just as poor and just as crusty-assed. Percy waited until the school doors swallowed his younger siblings, before he was assured they were even somewhat safe for a time.
And he felt tired.
He wanted to go to school. If nothing else, it was a break from the world he knew. Some days, however, he had to put in work. Almost like skipping school to help out on the family farm… if by "family farm" one meant a new way to get over on folks. Percy met up with her behind the Fountain Square Mortuary. She made a few extra dollars as a professional griever. The old man who ran the place gave her forty dollars to wail at funerals, especially when there were only a few mourners in attendance. For an extra twenty, she'd throw herself onto the casket.
"Boy, look at you." Her hands on her hips, she eyed him up and down, a scorn-filled countenance displeased with the measure of the man.
"What, ma?"
"Shuffling around like you got nowhere to go. What, ma?" she mocked. "Even when you talk, you sound beaten down. You radiate weakness like you the sun beaming down on all us folks. You ain't ever going to be half the man your daddy is."
"Is?" His voice raised with hope. It wasn't as if he believed his father to be dead or even purposefully absent. Hope gilded Percy's thoughts of the man. With dreams of being wanted but his father being too busy to come around. Too important. Yes, he had one of those important jobs which had him constantly traveling. The word "is" carried the promise that not only was he still around but that Miss Jane knew where he was. Hope was a death of a thousand small cuts, bleeding the life from him in a steady, painful stream.
"Boy, you too slow for words most days. You ain't built for this here game. You have to have hardness. You have to have heart. And you? You so…"
"Soft." Percy sighed, eyes cast downward.
"Look here." Miss Jane sidled alongside him, not putting her arm around him or anything too… maternal. But the boy, despite his obvious deficiencies, touched something within her. Maybe he was so simple, so pathetic, she drew near just to staunch his feebleness. He had a way about him, not his father's way, but a way. A purity, one which shamed her every time she approached. She stepped back. "You see them boys over there." Dollar and his crew stood about gearing up for the day's trade. These days, Dollar oversaw a couple of crews. He might be in line to rise to the next level. As it was, boys buzzed about, attending to him without so much as a word from him. "You have to know a few things about folks. First, everyone is out for they self."
"But…"
"Ain't no buts. This is all about survival and doing whatever it takes to survive, well, sometimes ain't a lot of room for pride left. You get over on them or else they will get over on you. That leads to rule number two."
"What's that?"
"You can't trust nobody."
"Not even you?"
"Not even me." Miss Jane paused, struck by the honesty of her answer. Something about the boy just made folks… simple. "Folks be stupid or too sneaky. Everyone's got an agenda, some angle they working. That's why you have to play or get played."
"I don't think I like this game."
"That's what I'm trying to tell you. Not everyone's cut out for this. See? Look."
They turned to the scene drawn by someone hollering in pain. He probably got his ass caught shorting money, diluting product to squeeze out some side money, or selling burn bags as their product. All variations on the same theme: his hand in their pockets. Dollar delivered the first fisted blow, knocking the man's head back with the sound like a bag of ice dropped to the sidewalk. After the first punch, he seemed to lose interest, giving license to his boys to stomp and pummel the man into senselessness.
"Why'd they beat him up?" Percy asked, mouth agape and eyes lingering too obviously. It didn't pay to be too fastidious to details. Miss Jane turned his face to hers.
"Dude over there shorting them. Someone takes you off, you can't let that shit slide. Never. Once they see you as weak, you done out here. So you have to put a beatdown on them. They do it again, you got to fuck them up for real. So what you learn?"
"Don't let them read you for weak. Or soft."
Miss Jane caught scent of some new-tested package and ambled off. Percy stood there for a moment, watching the boys play at manhood, and hummed to himself.
The day was brisk but sharp, a chill wind under a blue sky. A second-chance day, when one dreamt of doing things right this time: finish school, don't mess with that girl, get a straight job, be about family. Living life without waiting for the click of a hammer to end it all.
Baylon walked along the street of Dred's house at an easy pace. For some reason, the song "Jesus Can Work It Out" kept running through his head: That problem that I had/I just couldn't seem to solve. He hadn't thought about that song in ages. The breakdown chant of "work it out" brought to mind a frenzied choir and folks anxious to get caught up in the Holy Ghost. He hated the show of church.
"Baylon!" a voice called out as he walked by.
He returned the slightest of head nods.
A group of boys slung rocks down the street, not trying to hit anything in particular. Simply whiling away the time with casual destruction the way boys were prone to. At Baylon's approach, the flicker of recognition, respect, and perhaps even fear filled their eyes. They stopped their game and parted for him. Their gazes lingered on him in admiration.
"Hey B," a sultry voice sang. Pert breasts tenting her low-cut blouse with no back over some tight blue jeans, stretched to bursting seams by her full hips. "You got something for me."
"Yeah, why don't you hit me up at the spot later on." Baylon waved her off knowing a few years ago, a girl like that would have rolled her eyes in a "Nigga, you can't step to this" way at his approach, much less chase after him. The charge of fame had pipeheads running up to him to beg for a free sample, like fans pining for an autograph. His name ringing out, he was every bit just as much a junkie, hooked on status, on being the man. He paused on the porch and surveyed the neighborhood. Then he went in.
Every time he crossed the threshold he felt transported to another place. Odd symbols etched the doorframe. When he ran his fingers along them, they gave the same sort of tingle as licking a battery. Baylon thought it unusual that Dred rarely kept any soldiers at the house. None were required here, he had told him. The kinds of enemies I've made wouldn't be stopped by thugs with guns. Baylon ignored the irony of him saying that from his wheelchair.
Dred waited for him in the spacious living room. His scraggy goatee never grew in right. He had to grow it. His face had a natural boyishness to it. The softness of retained baby fat which made him appear younger than his twenty-odd years. His nest of hair coiled out in serpentine aggression. The color of cold onyx, he glared his ancient gaze from bloodshot and rheumy eyes. Long wizened fingers propelled his chair with little exertion, his all-white Fila jogging suit matching his brand-new tennis shoes.
"You hear what happened with Green's crew?" Dred asked rhetorically.
"Everyone heard. Lots of shots." Baylon shifted uncomfortably, standing without having been offered a seat and having the distinct impression he'd been called into the principal's office.
"A lot of noise. If the message was 'we like to make a lot of noise and bring down all sorts of unwarranted attention', message received. Those two fuck-ups couldn't be trusted to send a telegram."
"You gonna call the Durham Brothers?" Baylon kept his sigh to himself. Junie and Parker, Junie more so, were world-class fuck-ups. Despite congratulating themselves on a ruckus well made, they needed to be sat down. Reflecting a moment, Baylon realized they weren't too dissimilar
from him. They all demanded respect, yet none of them could command it. Dred continued as if picking up on his thoughts.
"Call done been made. Remember when a nigga would say 'I'm gonna hold things down' and business got handled?"
"Lots of things change." Baylon ignored the quiet indictment.
"You got something to say?" Dred wheeled nearer. Baylon never had the sense that he looked down at him. Dred created – he didn't know how else to describe it – a vertigo effect. Despite the height differential, it was like they stared at each other eye-to-eye.
"Nah man, I'm just saying. The crew's weak. You up here. I'm up here. Back in the day, we had things on lockdown."
"Yeah, you right. Lots of things change."
Dred backed away from him. He tapped the small box which hung from his arm rest. The lid popped open and he withdrew a huge spliff. He fired it up. The smoke filled the room immediately, its aroma pungent, like earthy though rotted burnt vegetables. "Think back, remember how I found you?"
Alone. Scared. Cold. Wet. Huddled in the door frame. All his friends turned against him. He still had the knife. Pulled his jacket tighter and higher, both for warmth and to not be recognized. Never felt so isolated, aban doned, and betrayed. He had never known such sheer terror. Breathing became a labored process; he was suddenly conscious of reminding himself to inhale and exhale. His heart pounded arrhythmically, hammering an unsure cadence. The girl was little more than an acquaintance, but he liked her spirit. Her light. He hated the little boys drawn to casually snuff out lights simply because they could. Her blood still on his hands. Her innocence… he took it all away the minute he introduced himself to her. She'd have been better off if they'd never met. She'd still be innocent. Safe. Alive.
How could they think that of me? Did that even sound like the person I was? They know me. They know me. He still had the knife.
Dred pulled up, the outline of his black Escalade a blurred shadow in the haphazard rain. Its parking light on, it roamed the lot like a leering hyena in search of wounded prey. Dred rolled down the window. A thick issue of smoke poured from his mouth. Like he'd been expectantly waiting. "Get in. You're not safe here."
"I'm not safe anywhere. Not anymore." Baylon's panic ran so deep, he barely recognized Dred.
"I understand. Look, I ain't gonna bullshit you, you in deep. Left quite a mess back there. But we're handling it."
"We?" Only then did he notice Night in the passenger seat.
"You don't need to worry about that. What you need to know is that your crew, your true crew, stands tall beside you." Dred checked his rearview mirror. "I don't mean to press you, but we gots to roll. Get in."
Baylon ducked inside the Escalade as Dred peeled off. He drove a halfmile or so before turning on his headlights. The quiet thickened between them. Jittery eyed and drymouthed, he jumped at every brake, squeal, or car horn. Arguing, a shout, bursts of laughter. They drove aimlessly, taking in the sights of the city. The street's cacophony of life, abrupt, charged sounds which brought only terror. Edgy, he anticipated some thing bad about to happen. Ware and uneasy, he leaned forward in his seat, drawing Dred's attention in the rearview mirror.
"That girl back there? That was his cousin."
"Wrong time, wrong place. Tragic."
Baylon remained silent not yet knowing his play. Dred's measured words bubbled with import, calculated to appraise him at every turn. Bleak as things seemed, he knew he had options. It was an accident. It had to be. If he just went to King. Explained.
"King was your boy. Took some stones to do him like that."
"I don't believe it. No one would."
"A noheart nigga like you. I'm saying, no offense, that ain't your rep," Night said to Dred's obvious dis pleasure. "He didn't have it in him. That's all I'm saying."
"We all have it in us. We just need the right teacher to draw it out of us. Ain't that right."
"Bay?"
"It got done, didn't it?"
"He might be ready to step up. What you think?"
Baylon hated the way they discussed him as if he weren't there.
"Ain't my call. My man has to make his choice. What you think, B? You ready to step up?" Dred asked.
Still jumpy and unhinged, his nerves drained of all resolve, Baylon realized he was a man of fluid loyalties. After the misunderstanding which ended his and King's friendship, perhaps his future interest was with Night and Dred. Every story needed a villain. Maybe it was time for him to embrace his calling. As hollow as that thought ran, at his core, Baylon was practical. The best way to survive was to stick with survivors. Dred, no matter the level of chaos around him, always managed to survive.
"You cursed, you know," Dred said.
"I don't know shit about no curses," Baylon said.
"Death follows you," Night said.
"Death follows all of us." Baylon grew annoyed at their steady rhythm. He felt pressed in and doubleteamed. The Escalade became claus trophobic. He stared out the window. He had a selfdestructive impulse he wrestled against. Got in a bad way, a dark head space and wants to take a torch to his life. "We born to die."
"Not all of us. Some of us even death won't touch." Dred stared into the rearview mirror until he locked eyes with Baylon.
Baylon fidgeted with the handle of his knife then shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He ticked off the streets as they headed east on Washington.
"Why you want to help me out?" Baylon eventually found his voice.
"The enemy of my enemy…" Dred said.
"So we friends now?"
"Better than that. We're partners."
Baylon nodded. This was the life he wanted, the opportunity he'd been waiting for. It only cost him his friendship with King. They hadn't been close of late, but they were still boys. They'd depended on each other for so long, they had become comfortable. And now it was evaporated. He was dead to King. He would have to find his own way with his own people.
"And then you brought me in," Griff said.
Baylon jumped. The voice was so real in his ear, he searched Dred's face to see if he heard it. He couldn't be here. Not here, not now, not in this memory. Griff came later. Smoke filled the car, a billowing cloud so thick it now obscured the front seat. The smoke's heady aroma disoriented Baylon. Soon, all he knew was the smoke. It isolated him. The world beyond its fringes ceased to exist. All there was, his entire reality, had been reduced to bodiless voices.
"You wanted in. Remember what I asked you?" Baylon asked.
"'Now you want to get your dick wet and do some work?'" Griff quoted.
"Yeah, you were always the first in line to get paid."
The smoke began to clear. The cloudless sky beamed with such an intense blue it hurt Baylon's eyes. The landscape shifted until it coalesced into the familiar. He grew up in this playground. His house was across the street, behind the community center. His neighbors' houses lined the alley which cordoned off the park. Baylon spidered his hands up along the chains of the swing in which he sat until they reached a comfortable height.
"You remember when we used to race swing?" Griff sat idly in the swing next to him as if he had been there the entire time.
"We were damn fools," Baylon said sharply. "Surprised we didn't break our necks."
"You were a beast. Could get higher than any of us."
Baylon smiled at the thought, the secret compliment, and he remembered. Swings different back in the day. Taller, with wood seats. A fool of a boy could stand on the seat, pump for greater height and at the apex of a swing, jump off to fly through the air and land past the scree of pebbles and dirt that filled the swing area.
"I don't know how any of us survived our childhoods," Baylon conceded.
"There were no children here. There were soldiers in training."
"We were fierce though."
"Yeah. We were fierce. It all worth it?" Griff's words hung in the air, the perfect playground beesting. He was gone. Baylon was alone on the swings.
Then Dred
's voice drew him from his brief respite.
"We in this deep now," Dred said.
"I never thought we'd make it this far. Or this long." Baylon stumbled for words, hoping his matched whatever conversation he was having.
"Some of us didn't." Dred smiled, a rueful and wholly unpleasant thing.
"You ever think of him?"
"Think of who?"
"Griff."
"Naw, man. Best to not dwell on things best left in the past. What's the matter, brotha? You look like you saw a ghost or some shit. You paler than a motherfucka."
King Maker: The Knights of Breton Court, Volume 1 Page 9