Carly let the spray of the shower beat on her face. Nothing was waking her up this morning. Since she’d seen every hour during the night, her body wanted to shut down when she tried to get moving. She’d stood at her window a couple of times staring toward Wade’s cabin. Her eyes played tricks on her at 3 a.m. when she thought she saw him standing on the porch, leaning against the post, staring up at her window. The soap didn’t wash her anger away from the day before. She was still hurt and pissed. Chet coming over was like shaking her like a soda, and she already felt bad for whoever would pop her top. It was inevitable.
After she dressed, she headed to the stable. Her eyes fell on Wade moving equipment around the stalls. She felt her soul separate from her body and stop walking as she moved forward. It was a numbing feeling. She held her chin high and straightened her spine. She didn’t trust anyone, and no one needed to see her emotions brewing just underneath the surface. “Where’s Earl?”
“Aren’t we full of piss and vinegar today?”
“I have two days before this weddin’. I don’t need your shit, Wade. Where’s Earl?”
“He’s in town pickin’ up feed and supplies.”
“Great.” She threw her hands in the air. “Daddy told him to be here for a carriage escort. Why, I don’t know.”
“What’s with the carriage escort?”
“I don’t know, Wade. It’s part of their little charade like these stupid long skirts and dresses I wear.” She watched his jaw tighten as he pulled the gloves from his hands.
“I was about to run Lightnin’, but it looks like I have the pleasure of escortin’ you today because Earl won’t be back for awhile.”
“Fuck.”
“Yes. I’m purdy sure that’s what you need.” His eyes boldly raked over her. Her cheeks flamed, and she placed her hand on her stomach.
“Just get the damn carriage ready.”
“Yes, Miss Scarlett.” With a devilish grin, he tilted his hat.
She twirled on her heels and walked away from the hottest man she’d ever seen, and yelled over her shoulder. “Stop callin’ me that!”
“Stop actin’ like that!”
She felt her ears flame, and with a huff, she kept walking. Chet would be here soon. Dammit! She reached the house in record speed, yanked open the door, and headed straight to the liquor cabinet. Her steps were fast, and she stumbled on the carpet, which had been there for years. She grabbed the whiskey bottle and twisted the cap. It stung her lips as she pressed the rim to them. She stilled herself, keeping her lips in a tight line. No. She wouldn’t do this. She needed a clear head. They were all driving her crazy, but she would not self-destruct.
Oddly, Wade’s voice sounded in her ears from the night he’d lifted her off her mama’s grave—‘you’re stronger than this’. She put the bottle down with a thud. It was usually her mama’s voice she heard at times like these. Why did she hear Wade’s? He was someone who’d lied to her and more. She’d think about that later. Right now, she had to go meet Chet.
She smoothed her hands on her skirt and took a couple of calming breaths before re-entering the stable. Wade had hooked the two horses to the front tongue of the carriage and was tying Lightning to the back for his walk. His backside looked just as good as his front. Cursing the maker of his jeans, she turned at the sound of gravel crunching in the drive to see Chet arriving. Right on time. Wade finished tying Lightning’s rope and offered his hand to help her in.
“What’s that for?” She stared at his outstretched appendage.
“Even if you have a mouth like a sailor, you’re still a lady in my eyes.” When he grinned, she caught the indention of his dimple. “Can I help you in the carriage, Miss Scarlett?
Her eyes became slits as she glared at him. “You—”
“She’s on time, and behavin’ like a wife. I might have to tell your daddy to give you time off for good behavior.” Chet walked past them to the other side of the carriage.
Carly noticed that the moment Chet spoke, Wade’s jaw tightened. She reluctantly slid her palm across his open hand, and electricity zinged straight between her thighs. Warmth colored her skin. Her mouth became dry, and she cleared her throat. “Thank you, Mr. Dawson.” With his assisting hand, she lifted herself into the carriage.
“You’re most welcome, Miss West.” His thumb arched, pressing into her skin as she slid her hand from his grasp. The scratch of his nail on her palm caused an uncontrollable shudder to roll over her. She felt the heat from his gaze and kept her eyes fixed to her lap.
“Are you cold?”
No. I’m so hot right now, I may catch fire. “A little.” She glanced at Chet. He slouched in the seat, arm slung over the back. Not only did her shudder go unnoticed, after Wade’s question, Chet didn’t offer her a way to warm up… nothing. He just looked at his watch. She would probably freeze to death in the winter under his roof. Looking forward, she stared at Wade’s back as he flipped the horse’s reins. The carriage jerked forward.
“Damn. You tryin’ to give us whiplash?” Chet grabbed his neck.
Carly caught the wicked gleam in Wade’s eyes when he swiveled slightly to direct the horses toward the field.
“Do you love me, Chet?”
“What kind of question is that? I’m marryin’ you, ain’t I?”
“Why are you marryin’ me?” Both men stiffened.
“Carly, what’s all this about?”
“Yes, Chet, that’s what I want to know. What is all this about?” She held her arms open and looked around.
“What are you talkin’ about?”
“This carriage and courtin’ shit. These Little House on the Prairie clothes.”
“Watch your mouth.” Running his fingers over his lips, he eyed her. “If you don’t like the clothes, once we get married we can change that. Right now, no man needs to see you looking all, well, you.” His eyes turned lustful, and he squirmed in his seat. “Besides… you know this is the way we live.”
“No. The Amish live this way. I’m not Amish.”
“The Amish have some good ways of livin’.”
“You don’t even know if you’ll like havin’ sex with me.”
“I’m sure I’m gonna like that.”
“Yeah? Kiss me.” The carriage stopped. They both turned toward Wade.
“Problem?” Chet asked.
Wade tilted his head and slanted his eyes toward Carly. “Snake. I don’t want the horse to get spooked.”
“Did you hear me, Chet?” Carly turned toward him before the look in Wade’s eyes crippled her.
“I heard you.”
“Well… kiss me.”
“No.”
“Don’t you want to see if there’s a spark. What if we don’t like each other that way either?” She could feel an energy coming from Wade, and it just fueled her objective. “You say you want to marry me, Chet, but you won’t give me a reason why, and what if I don’t want to—”
“Carly, that’s enough.”
“You’re right. That is enough.” She stood and jumped out of the carriage.
“Carly…” Chet followed behind her. “Get back in the carriage.”
“Jesus, Chet. You can’t even kiss me. I’m gonna to be your wife. What the hell are you goin’ to do if I ask you to have sex with me?”
Chet’s eyes blazed and he stepped forward in long strides, pushing her against a tree. She saw Wade in the carriage, his palm went to the front of his hat, tilting it down, but she saw and felt his eyes on her right before Chet leaned into her. “Fine.” He almost growled, smashing his lips against hers until her teeth cut her lip. She felt the bile rise in her throat. When the tip of his tongue tried to force its way in, she pulled away and pushed him back. Regret tasted worse than anything she’d ever known.
“How’s that for a spark?” He had a smug expression, and she backed away from him.
She couldn’t speak. Oh, God… she was going to be sick. She heard Wade’s boots hit the ground, and his shadow approa
ched her. She couldn’t look at him. She pushed past him and ran to Lightning. Grabbing his reins, she quickly untied him.
Chet chuckled. “Aw, c’mon. I was just tryin’ to give you a little tongue.”
She swung her legs over her savior and looked back at Wade before Lightning bolted into the field.
Her world was unraveling. This situation was turning her into something she didn’t like. She never played games, always told it like it was, and she didn’t want to be this person. Could she let go of Lightning and her mama and put a man in jail she wasn’t sure was guilty, to free herself? She could marry Chet and try to get out of it afterward. Her anger brewed. She wanted to hit something, and the next person that pushed her buttons today was going to get it—both barrels.
Wade squeezed his fist tight as he walked toward Chet. The man had the nerve to put a phone to his ear. Whoever had taught him manners needed to be horsewhipped. He ended his call and looked around, a nervous edge to his gaze. His Adam’s apple bobbed with a hard swallow.
“I’m late.”
“You know, power and money can’t buy you everything.”
“Yeah? Hasn’t let me down yet… seems I’m gettin’ everything I want.” His eyes dropped to Wade’s fists. “You’re not gonna hit me again, are you?”
“Jesus. Man up.” Wade shook his head, and walked toward the carriage.
“You gonna do your job and go get her?”
“Oh, yeah… I’m goin’ after her.”
“Good.”
“One horse will get you back on the carriage. I’m takin’ the other.” He unhooked the horse from the front harness and mounted with ease despite the lack of a saddle.
“I’m leaving,” Chet yelled after him. “Make her go inside the house and stay there.”
“Prick.” He knew Chet couldn’t hear him utter the word, but it was worth saying out loud. Wade rode toward her mama’s grave first and tried to bottle the anger inside him that was near to exploding.
What was her game? Kissing Chet like that in front of him. He knew she was mad, but is that how she got even with people? He didn’t know what her daddy had told her to piss her off bad enough to let someone touch her she didn’t seem to like. This entire situation was a cluster fuck.
He slowed the horse in the field when the gravesite came into view. She wasn’t there. Shit. She could have hightailed it back to the house and took the truck somewhere by the way she was acting—fight or flight was in her eyes. He turned the horse toward the stable and nudged him into a gallop. When the uninvited image of Chet’s hands on her entered his mind, he ground his teeth together. She had forced Chet to push her buttons—in front of him. For what? He’d had to sit there and watch that asshole’s hands grope her, watch as he put his mouth on her. He was sure he’d chip a tooth any minute. His jaw was as tense as Carly’s body when Chet had touched her.
Wade hopped off the horse before it stopped. Lightning was in his stable, which meant Carly would be in the storage stall next to him. That’s where she hid when she wanted to be alone. She stayed away from people, but close to Lightning. He led the horse into a stall and shut the gate. Tarps covered the front of the storage stall to hide the supplies and equipment, and there was a separate entrance gate through Lightning’s stall. He reached it with speed, still trying hard to tamp down his anger. He slung the gate open and locked eyes with Carly.
She stared at him for a moment, and moved off the bale of hay she sat on. “What are you doing here?” She stared at his movement. Her eyes widened when he turned and locked the gate. She nervously searched the stall.
That’s right… you’re trapped. “Don’t you ever do that to me again.” His calm tone a charade of what he was really feeling.
“Do what?” She lifted her chin and stared him down.
“Let that man put his hands on you in front of me.”
“What do you care?”
“You like to say that a lot.” His nostrils flared, and his fingers moved in and out making fists. He watched her eyes shift to his hands then back to his gaze.
“You’ve got anger issues.”
“Although I can say the same about you, I’ve heard that before.”
“Maybe you should see someone about it.”
“No need. I have my own ways of dealin’.” He stepped closer to her. She stepped back.
“Which is?”
“Fightin’ and fuckin’.” He stepped closer. He watched the color roll across her skin.
“You here to fight me?”
Wade shook his head slowly. “Wrong one.” He filled in the gap between them, until she had her legs backed against the hay bales.
“Wade—”
“Too late for words, darlin’. Let’s finish the game you started.”
Chapter 16
My Name
“Please don’t.” Carly backed further away, angling back on the hay. His hand reached toward her, pausing only when she shuddered. She stared at him and watched a mixture of emotions cross his face. His jaw set tight, a determined edge shone in his eyes, and that beautiful color of green darkened. The look he gave her was melting her wall faster than butter in a hot skillet. “I’m still pissed at you.”
“Good. Cause’ I’m very pissed off at you.”
His hand wrapped around her ankle length skirt and pulled it up to her waist. Before she could protest, his hips slid in between her thighs, and the roughness of his jeans started an internal fire. Then his hand cupped the back of her neck and the other palmed her cheek. His thumb pressed against her lips. Leaning closer to her, she watched his gaze heat and fill with something she didn’t understand. His jaw ticked as he put pressure on her lips and moved his thumb across them.
“He touched here.” His voice was like gravel.
When his thumb stopped at the corner of her mouth, his eyes dropped to her lips. He leaned closer until his nose brushed hers. “You did that shit in front of me on purpose.” His hand tightened in her hair, and the look he gave her demanded honesty.
“I....” Her frantic eyes studied the planes of his face. She was losing control of everything in her life. The scene replayed in her mind as she tried to figure out why she had goaded Chet. She did not want his hands on her, ever. Part of her wanted to prove to Chet she wasn’t for him. She’d asked for a kiss in the past, but after Wade’s kiss… oh, God. Wade. She did do it on purpose. She wanted him to see another man touching her. She knew this to be true; she felt it to her core, but didn’t know why. “Yes. I did do it on purpose.”
“Why?”
“I’m not sure.” Her eyebrows knitted as he blew air through his nostrils and jerked his head in disbelief. But, she was telling the truth.
“An honest woman is hard to find—”
“I am being honest.”
“Well, darlin’ as much as I appreciate your honesty… Right now, the truth does not set you free.” He dropped one hand to her breast and cupped it with a rough touch. “He touched you here too.” His fingers traced the line of her collar up to her shoulder and wrapped around the fabric, pulling it down as far as it would go. The material cut into her skin as he dove into the top of her dress and pulled out her breast.
“Wade!”
“You wanted a reaction from me… you got one.”
“Please, Wade,” she whispered on his lips, right before he slanted them onto hers and took her mouth. This kiss was much different from the other times. It was wetter and hotter, with a rough edge to it that had her body instantly betraying her.
His finger looped under the crotch of her panties, bunching the fabric. As he slid his finger up and down the cotton, he stared at her. She sucked in a breath when his knuckle grazed her sensitive flesh. His eyes dropped to her panties. Fingering the cloth, he moved it to the side and slid the back of the fabric over the hump of her butt cheek. When he returned his gaze to hers, the air thickened.
“You ready for fast and hard?”
“No.”
“You suck at
lying.”
“Wade.” She’d meant for that to sound like a protest, but it was more of a plea.
“You’re soaked. Your body is arching into my hand, Carly.”
“And?”
“And you said you’re pissed at me.” He leaned in until he was a breath away from her face. “You tense up when anyone touches you.”
“I don’t like to be touched.”
“I’m touchin’ you.” The light stroke of his finger on her sensitive nub caused her to jerk before her traitorous body melted toward him. His knowing grin irritated her. “Doesn’t that tell you somethin’, Carly?”
She shook her head in denial.
“Are you still gonna marry him?”
“I have too.”
“No, you don’t”
“If you knew what was at stake, you wouldn’t push, Wade. Now let me up.” She placed her hands on his chest and applied pressure. Her gaze followed his eyes as they swept her body. His hand wrapped around her wrists and placed them between her breasts, trapping her hands beneath his strong grip.
“I’m tellin’ you not to do this.”
“Oh… you’re tellin’ me?” She tugged at her hands beneath his, but freeing them was impossible. “You’re just like the rest of them. Deceitful and tellin’ me what to do.”
“That’s probably the most insultin’ thing anyone has said to me.” His jaw tightened. A mixture of emotions flashed in his eyes. “Let me give you somethin’ to remember me by.” He grabbed one of her hands. Pressing his thumb into her palm, he splayed her fingers.
When she touched her stomach, she sucked in a breath and held it.
“Breathe.” His eyes flicked to hers and held there until she inhaled a breath. With his hand resting on top of hers, he guided it down her stomach. Her heart hammered when she realized his destination, and she pulled at her hand. Instantly, his fingers tightened around hers, and he shook his head. Her heart was going to explode, she was sure of it. She’d never touched herself, never even looked at herself too long in the mirror. The mortification of his intent flamed her skin.
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