A grin spread over Johnny’s face as his friend told him off. ‘Finished?’ he asked when he stopped. ‘First off, no, it was not one of my tarts – as you put it. And second, I’d never do anything to upset Angel, and you should know that.’
‘I do,’ Dave conceded, taking the spliff when Johnny offered it to him. ‘But you’ve got to think about how it would have looked to her if she’d walked out and seen you. Who was it, anyhow? And why was she crying? Is it someone you’ve dumped?’
‘Will you be told? She’s nothing to do with me,’ Johnny reiterated sounding amused. ‘If you must know, it was Ryan’s mam, and she’s mad as a fuckin’ hatter, so I was telling her to clear off.’
‘Why, what happened?’ Dave sucked deeply on the smoke and glanced back to make sure that Hannah wasn’t watching through the parlour window. She didn’t mind him having the occasional smoke, but she wouldn’t approve on a day like this.
Johnny rolled his eyes. ‘You’re not going to believe it, but she only tried to tell me I’m his dad. Now is that crazy, or is that crazy?’
‘You’re kidding?’ Dave snorted. ‘You’re not even black. Like, hello!’
‘Neither’s his dad,’ said Johnny. ‘But that’s not the point.’
‘So what did you say?’
‘I said, I don’t know what sick game you’re playing, but you’d best quit it before someone hears you and starts spreading it about. Can you imagine the shit that’d cause?’
‘Volcanic.’ Dave shook his head. ‘Is she a crackhead or something?’
‘That’s what I thought, so I told her to get back to her pipe and leave me out of her fantasies.’
‘Too right.’ Dave chuckled and passed the spliff back.
Johnny drew on it. ‘I told her, I said I’m not being rude, love, but I’ve never slept with a black woman in my life. But – see how fucked her head is? – she goes, I used to work at LA Ladeez. Like that was supposed to mean something.’
‘Eh?’ Dave narrowed his eyes. ‘Say again?’
‘LA Ladeez,’ Johnny repeated, frowning. ‘Do you know what it is?’
‘Oh, mate.’ Dave ran a hand over his suddenly sweaty face. ‘That’s the club where we took you on your stag night.’
‘And . . . ?’ Johnny’s mouth had gone dry.
‘And the lads put to, and we kind of paid for you to have some private entertainment,’ Dave admitted. ‘But you were totally kaylied, so there’s no way you could have got it up.’
Johnny gaped at him for several long moments. Then, grinning again, he threw a playful punch at his arm.
‘Nice one, mate, you had me going for a minute there.’
But Dave didn’t smile. He just held Johnny’s gaze with a guilty one of his own, and Johnny’s heart sank like a brick.
‘You’re not kidding, are you?’
Dave shook his head.
A terrible flashback leapt into Johnny’s mind, and he was back in the hotel bar with Frankie.
‘Forget about the slags . . . I’ve decided to let it slide this time . . .’
Then he was in bed with Ruth in the honeymoon suite, his eyes closed, a hazy vision of a woman . . . his cock in her mouth.
‘Who did you set me up with?’ he demanded. ‘What colour?’
‘There were two of ’em,’ Dave told him. He sounded sick. ‘One black, one white.’
Johnny turned and stared through the parlour window at Ryan, who was making his way around the room offering sandwiches to the guests. No way . . . there was no way the boy could be his son. No way on Earth. It just wasn’t possible.
‘You’d best talk to his mam again,’ Dave suggested quietly. ‘At least you’d know, one way or the other.’
‘Nah, it’s bollocks.’ Johnny shook his head. ‘Look at him. He looks nothing like me.’
‘But you can’t know that for sure,’ Dave said gravely.
‘I can’t.’ Johnny gritted his teeth. ‘What if it turns out he is mine? What am I supposed to tell Angel? That she’s just married her brother, and is about to have his baby? It’ll destroy her.’
What was left of the colour in his cheeks drained completely when another thought occurred to him.
‘What the fuck am I supposed to tell Ruth? She’s put up with a lot, but there’s no way she’d stand for this. And I’ll lose everything if she divorces me. I signed a contract – I’ll be out on my arse.’ He looked at Dave with dread in his eyes. ‘I’m finished.’
‘No point thinking that far ahead,’ Dave said calmly. ‘Let’s just take it one step at a time. Talk to Ryan’s mam, and we’ll take it from there. Yeah?’
‘Yeah.’ Johnny nodded and sighed heavily. One of the best days of his life had just become the absolute worst.
35
Angel and Ryan had insisted that they wanted to go to Blackpool for their honeymoon. Johnny had tried to persuade them to choose somewhere more exotic, somewhere at least sunny. But they just wanted to have fun, and there was nothing more attractive to a couple of kids than a massive funfair and an endless row of slot-machine arcades. And the beach was just across the road, so it was heaven on all counts.
They were so excited when they came downstairs with their suitcase after the somewhat subdued party that Johnny had to force himself to smile, even though his heart felt like it had a lead weight in it.
‘Ready?’ he asked, reaching for his car keys.
They nodded, their faces beaming as they clutched at each other’s hands.
‘Can you give me a lift?’ Lisa asked as they headed for the door.
‘Yeah, sure,’ Johnny murmured, waving her out.
‘You’ll come straight back, won’t you?’ Ruth asked as she came out onto the step to wave them off.
‘I just need to nip down to the yard and do a bit of paperwork,’ Johnny lied. ‘But I’ll try not to be too late.’
‘Can’t Dave do it?’ she asked, standing close and stroking his lapels. ‘I thought we could have an early night.’
‘I’ll try,’ he said unenthusiastically. Then, remembering that he was going to have his work cut out to keep her if Ryan’s mother turned out to be telling the truth, he kissed her and winked. ‘See you in a bit.’
Lisa stayed in the car when Johnny got out to walk Angel and Ryan into the train station. When he came back she had her arms folded, her legs crossed, and a furious scowl on her face.
‘What’s going on, Johnny?’
‘What do you mean?’ he asked as he set off.
‘You know what I mean, so don’t act stupid,’ she snapped. ‘All that kissy-kissy shit with Ruth. Angel’s gone now, there’s no reason to keep up the act.’
‘Not now,’ Johnny groaned. ‘I’ve got shit to deal with, and my head’s already mashed.’
‘What shit?’
‘Nothing that concerns you.’
‘Don’t you dare try and fob me off with that old line.’ Lisa bristled. ‘I’m not Ruth. You can’t just pat me on the head and tell me to keep my nose out of man stuff. I’ve wasted the past twenty years of my life waiting for you.’
‘Wasted?’ Johnny repeated, with a dry smile. ‘Like that, is it? Well, sorry for wasting your time, darlin’. Maybe you’d best stop holding out for something you’re never gonna get, then, eh?’
‘You bastard,’ Lisa hissed, tears flooding her eyes. ‘You’re not dropping me like that. I’m worth more than that, and you know it.’
Johnny sighed heavily. ‘Yeah, I know, and I didn’t mean to upset you. But you know the score. If I walk, I lose the lot.’
‘You’d still have me,’ Lisa reminded him.
‘And you’d get bored without the money,’ Johnny told her. ‘And don’t lie and say it doesn’t mean anything, ’cos we both know you’d hate it if I was skint. We’d be at each other’s throats in no time. Then you’d probably chuck me out, and that’d be it. I’d have lost everything. The business, Angel – and you.’
‘I’d never chuck you out,’ she insisted. ‘You still don’
t get it, do you, Johnny? I love you.’
‘And I love you, too.’ He sighed. ‘But we’ve got to be realistic.’
‘That’s all I’ve ever been,’ Lisa replied resignedly. ‘Dreams are for kids like Angel,’ she added wistfully. She’d envied her cousin for getting married before her, and now even her cousin’s kid had beaten her up the aisle. A few more years and no man would look twice at her, never mind ask her to marry him.
‘I’m sorry,’ Johnny said. ‘This isn’t how I planned for things to turn out, but it is what it is. And it’s not that bad, is it?’ He reached over and gave her thigh a squeeze. ‘We’ve still got this.’
‘Yeah, but I’m still sharing this with Ruth,’ Lisa muttered.
‘I spend more time with you than I do with her,’ Johnny pointed out.
‘But you don’t sleep in my bed,’ Lisa said quietly, swiping a rogue tear off her cheek. ‘I never get to wake up next to you. I never got to have a kid with you, or call you my husband. And I never will, will I?’
She gazed at him, but Johnny kept his eyes firmly on the road. There was no point saying anything when she got like this. He just had to let her pour it all out, and then make it all better with a bit of loving.
Lisa exhaled loudly and stared out of the window as they drove on.
When they reached Hulme, Johnny turned off Chester Road a couple of streets back from hers.
‘What are you doing?’ Lisa asked as he drove slowly down the road towards Ryan’s parents’ house.
‘Just need to check something out,’ he murmured.
‘Like what? Ryan’s not even here. You’ve just seen them off on the train – remember?’
Johnny stared at the house as they passed, and Lisa frowned. ‘What’s wrong, Johnny? Have you got some kind of beef with them? Is that why they weren’t at the wedding?’
‘Jeezus, will you quit with the questions?’ he snapped, putting his foot down and screeching around the corner.
‘Go easy, Speedy Gonzales,’ Lisa complained, clinging to the sides of her seat.
‘Sorry.’ He pulled up sharply at her door. ‘See you tomorrow.’
‘You’re not even coming in?’ Lisa’s brow creased with disappointment. ‘I thought that was why you told Ruth you were going to the yard.’
‘There’s something I’ve got to do,’ Johnny told her.
‘Like what?’
‘I can’t tell you.’
‘Oh, I see.’ Fury sparked in Lisa’s eyes. ‘Got someone else lined up, have you? Younger and prettier is she? Like I used to be before you stole half of my life. Well, fine . . .’ She unbuckled her seat belt. ‘You go for it. But don’t bother creeping back round here when you get fed up, ’cos I’ve had it with you.’
‘It’s got nothing to do with another woman,’ Johnny lied. ‘Just trust me on this.’
‘Why should I?’
‘Because I’m asking you to.’
Lisa’s chest was heaving. Johnny looked at her breasts moving up and down inside her tight top and grinned.
‘All right, I’ll come in for a bit.’
‘Don’t put yourself out on my account,’ she huffed as she pushed the door open and climbed out.
Johnny switched off the engine and followed her into the house.
After they’d made love Lisa lit a cigarette while Johnny went to the toilet. As soon as he’d gone his mobile phone began to ring on the bedside cabinet. She reached for it without stopping to think that it wasn’t hers. Before she had a chance to speak, Dave started talking.
‘Have you seen her yet?’ he whispered. ‘What do you think? Is he your kid, or what?’
Lisa hung up.
Johnny was still naked when he walked back into the room five minutes later. He was rubbing his wet hair with a towel.
‘Hopped in the shower,’ he explained. Then, tilting his head to one side when he saw Lisa sitting in Ruth’s old wicker chair, with her dressing gown on, a moody look on her face and her foot bouncing up and down like it was on a spring, he gave her a questioning smile. ‘What’s up with you?’
‘Dave rang,’ she spat, her teeth clamped angrily together. ‘Wanted to know if you’d seen her yet. Oh, and is the kid yours?’
‘Jeezus,’ Johnny groaned. ‘Tell me you didn’t speak to him!’
‘I didn’t get a chance,’ Lisa yelled. ‘He just came right out with it. But is that all you care about? Him finding out about us and telling your precious fucking wife? Maybe I’ll save him the trouble, hmmm?’ She jumped up and snatched her own phone off the ledge. ‘I’ll just call her and tell her all about it,’ she hissed, scrolling through her numbers. ‘And maybe I’d best tell her about your other kid while I’m at it? What d’ya think, stud?’
‘Lisa, stop,’ Johnny yelped, running around the bed and snatching the phone out of her hand.
‘Give it back,’ Lisa demanded as she tried to grab it. ‘I hate you!’ she cried, smashing her fist down on his chest when he moved the phone out of reach. ‘You’re a bastard! You’ve been stringing me along for years, and all the time you’ve been having kids with other women. Well, you’ve crossed the line this time. I’m going to tell Ruth everything!’
‘Just listen to me,’ Johnny pleaded, grabbing her wrists as she made for the door. ‘It’s not what it sounds like.’
‘Fuck off!’ Lisa spat as tears streamed down her face. ‘I know what I heard, and don’t you dare try and twist it round and make out like I’m stupid. You’ve got another kid. What’s his name, huh? How old is he? Does he fuckin’ look like you?’
Johnny pulled her into his arms as her heart broke. She struggled, but he held on tight.
‘I swear to God, it’s not like that,’ he told her. ‘Just calm down and I’ll tell you the truth.’
Lisa sobbed for a while longer. Then she pulled herself together, swiped at her puffy eyes and wrenched away from him.
‘All right, talk. I’m listening.’
Johnny sat down on the bed and patted the mattress, gesturing for her to join him. But she went back to the chair and lit a fresh cigarette with shaking hands.
‘All right, it’s like this,’ he said. ‘A woman’s claiming that she had my kid.’
‘I knew it!’ Lisa’s nostrils flared as she struggled to keep the tears at bay.
‘Nearly twenty years ago,’ Johnny went on. ‘Way before you and me got started.’
A flicker of confusion came into her eyes. ‘Does Ruth know?’
‘No.’ Johnny shook his head. ‘And neither did I till today. That’s why Dave was asking if I’d seen her yet, because he said I should go and talk to her – find out if she’s lying.’
‘Are you still seeing her?’
‘No, and I didn’t even know I’d slept with her. It was supposed to have happened on my stag do, but I knew nothing about it.’
‘Now I know you’re lying,’ Lisa said scathingly. ‘You can’t have sex and not know about it.’
‘On Angel’s life.’ Johnny crossed himself.
Sure now that he was telling the truth, because she knew how much Angel meant to him, Lisa frowned.
‘She came to the registry office,’ Johnny went on. ‘She was outside when I went for a fag, and she just came right out and told me.’
‘But if you don’t know her, how did she know who you are?’
‘Fuck knows.’ Johnny shrugged. ‘I mean, I know who she is now, but I only met her for the first time a few weeks back.’
‘So you have been seeing her?’
‘No.’
‘You must have – or how else would she have known where to find you today?’
Johnny closed his eyes and sighed. ‘She’s Ryan’s mam.’
‘What?’ Lisa’s mouth dropped open. ‘You don’t mean . . . she’s not saying it’s him?’
Johnny nodded.
‘Bullshit,’ said Lisa, the word hissing out of her as if she’d been deflated. ‘No way. That would mean . . .’
‘Yep.’ Johnny’s voi
ce was grim. ‘Angel’s just married her brother.’
‘No.’ Lisa shook her head. ‘This isn’t happening. Oh my God. What are you going to do?’
‘You tell me.’ Johnny wrung his hands in a gesture of helplessness. ‘I hoped I might see her when I drove round there. But I don’t even know what I’m going to say if I do see her. And I was pretty nasty back there at the registry office, so she might not even want to talk to me again.’
‘She can’t drop something like this on you and then refuse to talk about it,’ Lisa said indignantly. ‘And if she tries to, I’ll make her talk.’
Johnny gave her a grateful little smile. ‘Guess this isn’t quite how you expected to end the day, is it?’
‘Nothing’s ever quite what I expect with you,’ she replied dryly. ‘Anyway, why don’t you just go and knock on the door? Then she’ll have to talk.’
‘I can’t. Her husband’s a bit of a beast.’
Lisa drew her head back and gave him an incredulous look. ‘Since when has Johnny Conroy been scared of beasts?’
‘I’m not,’ he told her. ‘But she is. And she’s the one who’d cop for it if he found out why I was there. I’m pissed off, but not enough to do something like that to her.’
Lisa nodded. ‘Okay, I see your point,’ she said, standing up. ‘I’ll go and pour us a drink. Get dressed, then we’ll work out what to do about this.’
Johnny reached for her hand as she headed for the door and said, ‘Thanks, Lisa. It’s good to know I’ve got you on my side.’
‘You always have had,’ she said softly.
36
The following afternoon Zeta had just made a bottle for the baby and was drying her hands on a tea towel when the doorbell rang. She glanced out through the kitchen window and tutted when she saw a blonde woman on the step.
She opened the door. ‘Yes?’
‘Oh, hiya, sorry for disturbing you.’ Lisa smiled. ‘Are you Zeta Johnson?’
‘Who wants to know?’ Zeta narrowed her eyes and took a step back. If the woman was a bailiff or a summons server, the door was going to be slammed right in her face.
‘Aw, sorry, love, I’ve given you a turn, haven’t I?’ Lisa chuckled, deliberately roughening up her tone so that the woman would know that she was from around here. ‘I’m like that, an’ all. Number of times I’ve hid behind the sofa when the debt collectors come calling, or the TV detector van’s on the street.’
Lost Angel Page 33