“It’s all right,” David interrupted an increasingly fraught Anya, “Monday will be fine.”
“Sorry, I’m just trying to think of everything.”
“Let me get this straight.” David’s voice allowed no doubt that there would be nothing about friendship in the meeting, he was the complete professional. He read the notes he had taken as he sat at the dining room table with Geoffrey and Anya on his right and James and Rose on his left. “You married Geoff for the first time in September 1971 having met at University. You were divorced in 1976 on the grounds of your adultery…”
“And my inability to bear children. Geoff’s mother wanted grandchildren.”
“Indeed, that may be so, but it is not a matter of legal record.”
“Whereas my adultery is.”
“I’m afraid so. The court won’t be interested in details or motives, simply in the fact that you were the guilty party. Where was I? Ah yes. You married a second time, to Peter March in 1977 and that marriage ended in divorce in 1993. Again the reason was adultery and again you were the guilty party.”
“It sounds awful doesn’t it? But both times I wasn’t the only one, Geoff was unfaithful to me almost as much as I was to him, it’s just that we agreed for me to be the guilty one. The same happened with Peter. I was unfaithful to him once and he had a mistress for ten years. But it was kinder for me to be the guilty party as there were children involved on his side.”
She wondered what the children made of the conversation as they sat around the table. She glanced over to them and, since they seemed neither surprised nor shocked, she reasoned they must already have known.
“Again, I’m afraid the court won’t be interested in motives, simply matters of fact.”
“I’m sure Peter would write a letter to explain why it was done that way, if that would help. We parted on reasonable terms.”
“That might be useful. Do you know how we might contact him?” He scribbled the name and address as Anya told him.
“It’s an easy address to remember.” She explained as David seemed interested that she knew the address without checking. “But I’m not sure of the postcode. SY10 something.”
“We can find that. Now let’s look at your business life. You have built up a successful property development business and own a wide portfolio which brings in a good income. You also own a hotel in Barbados. You are financially independent and certainly did not marry Geoffrey for his money. Although your marriage invalidated your husband’s previous will he did draw up another one the week after.” David ignored Anya’s frown of surprise. She had not thought there had been much time when Geoff was awake that she wasn’t with him. “In that will he states clearly that his wish was for you to take responsibility for his children. He has left you this house on the condition that the children live here until they are 21 if they so wish. All his other assets, which I have to say are quite considerable, he has left to his children in equal parts, in trust till they are 21 with the income to go towards their education and general expenses.
“Equal parts?” Anya asked. “How times have changed. Wouldn’t things have been different if Geoff’s father had left his funds ‘in equal parts’ to his children.”
“What do you mean?” Rose asked, perfectly reasonably and Anya spent a few minutes explaining that their grandfather had left nothing to his daughter. ‘Just because she was a girl?’ Rose’s look of indignation made Anya smile. “No wonder Aunt Margaret has a bag of chips on her shoulder!”
David continued as solemnly as he could. “That, and your own not inconsiderable resources, will make you financially independent. You will have no call on the state to support you though you will of course qualify for allowances, as would any family.”
“That must be a plus surely?”
“It will be one of several points the court will take into consideration.”
“So we have good points, the money, and bad points, my unsuitable history.”
“In a nutshell, yes. But we will do what we can to prove that you are an upstanding member of the community, a responsible person, perfectly suited to look after the children.”
“Doesn’t the fact that I am the children’s step-mother count for anything?”
“I’m afraid not.”
“How can we prove I’m an upstanding member of the community then? I’ve never been a member of this community or any other for that matter. I’ve been too busy.”
“We will find witnesses to speak for you.”
“We need character witnesses?” She was shocked and a little afraid. She had a feeling they might be difficult to find.
“Yes, we only need one or two responsible and respectable people who will vouch for your integrity.”
“Even that might be difficult.”
David hesitated a fraction too long. “I’m sure we will manage.”
“Doesn’t it mean anything that we want Anya to be our Mum?” Rose asked.
“It should.” David paused, looking ominously thoughtful in Anya’s view. “It should.” He repeated “But it all depends on the magistrate. Some think that the children really aren’t in any position to know what is best for them, even if they think they do. Some justices think that that is their job, some just don’t like anyone else making the decision for them.”
“Our magistrate?” Anya asked tentatively and was rewarded with a rueful shrug from David.
“Shouldn’t the most important thing be what we want?” Geoffrey asked, sounding so like his father they all turned towards him. “They must listen to us.”
“I will do my best to make them do that.” David didn’t sound overly confident.
The children left the room as he packed up his papers into his briefcase. He spoke gently, his friendly voice Anya had labelled it, as opposed to his formal, professional one. “Look Anya, I think there’s something you need to know.”
“What?”
“I’ve been talking to Tim. He’s been taken back into the fold.”
“You mean he’s again a respectable member of the community?”
“Something like that.”
“I haven’t seen him since the funeral and he didn’t stay long, in fact I felt he was avoiding me.”
“You know he was ostracised after the debacle of the New Year Ball well now he’s back on the golf club committee, I think they thought he’d suffered enough with his rather expensive divorce, either that or they all thought ‘there but for fortune’. One of the other members of the committee is connected with the family court. I asked Tim if he would give you a personal reference. I thought his name might help.”
“And?”
“He said no.”
“You mean he didn’t want to go out on a limb and support me.”
David shook his head. Anya was not surprised.
With the children back at school some sort of domestic routine was established and Anya’s began to settle into her new life. Kathleen and Margaret ignored her though they insisted the children visit them every week. The children didn’t want to go but when Anya explained it would be held against her in court if it looked like she had prevented contact with their family they gave up their Sunday afternoons with a reasonable grace.
There were times when she thought the children were getting used to living without their father and they seemed to relax more, though she knew it would be a long time before they would stop looking back at what life used to be. Anya was proud of them but especially so of Geoffrey who needed no nagging to work for his GCSEs. Remembering how stressful her O levels had been she did what she could to encourage him and, when requested, she visited the school to talk to the headmaster. ‘If only Dot could see me now’ she had said to herself as she walked with the headmaster through the immaculately kept gardens of the expensive private school.
“If it weren’t for bloody Social Services,” she confided in Linda in one of their regular phone calls, “I could almost be happy.”
Every week she spent t
he day being interviewed by the various agencies appointed by the court to identify whether or not she was a suitable person to look after her step-children. Anya soon understood that their preferred position was that the children should be returned to their mother, no one seemed to understand that Fiona wanted nothing to do with them.
David phoned Anya practically every day to keep her informed and give much needed support and finally he said the words she had been wanting to hear, but which filled her with dread.
“We’ve got the court date. It’s next Thursday, we have one week to make sure we’re as ready as we possibly can be.”
“At least Geoffrey’s exams will be over.”
“It’s only the preliminary hearing but things are at last moving.”
Thursday 22nd June 1995.
Hateful day. Pompous woman magistrate (probably golf club member…) interviewed G at 2.30; R at 3; and J at 3.30 then the three of them together while I sat outside. It wasn’t a proper court, just a room, more like an office really, with a big table piled high with very full files. David was with the children, Linda sat with me. She actually held my hand. Then they called me in and the children had gone. I panicked. They’d been taken to Fiona. I knew we’d lost. I over-reacted. I yelled I wanted to see my children. David told me to calm down. No decision had been taken. The kids were in the canteen having a coke with the girl from SS. SS – how appropriate! The magistrate asked me lots of questions mainly about why I’d married Geoff. I answered them, and cried. Anger and tears. The two things David had told me not to resort to. Bugger bugger bugger. Afterwards he and Linda said I’d done well but I know I haven’t. I’m so sorry Geoff. I promised you I’d look after them and I’m doing my best but today my best just wasn’t good enough.
‘I’ve always been considered unsuitable.’ She had told the children round the kitchen table that evening. ‘It’s something I’ve never worried about until now.’ She had been touched to tears when they had all, including Geoffrey, got up and given her a hug.
Saturday July 15th 1995
David has at last scraped together the references. He found a business contact who’s going to say how professional and honest and upstanding I am and Stuart Benthall is going to write one, though that’s another business one, it’s the personal ones that have been the problem. Peter’s written a nice letter saying the marriage had broken down long before my adultery but I’m not so sure it will do the trick. David and Linda can’t do anything, obviously, though they have been real friends through all this. John was brilliant and has written about how long he’s known me and how I’ve always come out on top whatever life has thrown at me. I asked him to change the wording a bit! Didn’t need Tim after all. If only I’d been one of those people who made friends. I’ve never had friends, not at school and not since. I’ve only ever had lovers, husbands and colleagues. I need friends now and I haven’t got any. Why does that remind me of Mum?
‘Swimming in porridge’ was how Anya remembered the summer of 1995.
Whatever she did they wanted more, whatever she presented to them was never enough, another person needed to be asked, another agency needed to interview her. Then the important players went on holiday, all at different times, and it became obvious nothing was going to be resolved until the Autumn.
As long as their lives were being scrutinised the children did exactly as they were asked. They went out only with permission, they returned home by the allotted time, they didn’t swear, at least not in front of anyone that mattered, and they weren’t disobedient. Geoffrey did well in his GCSEs and looked forward to the Sixth form. There were lighter days when as a family they lazed around in the sun in the garden, when they argued over who was going to barbecue the sausages but everything they did was overshadowed by the impending court decision.
In the evening of the last Sunday before the schools went back, as Anya sat in the garden drinking wine with David, Linda and John, she broke down in tears. “All this would have been so much easier if I’d been respectable and conforming, if I’d ever made friends, if I hadn’t been so bloody unsuitable.”
“But if you had been suitable Geoff would never have fallen for you.” Linda put her arm around Anya’s shoulders and tried to comfort her. Her idea of Anya had changed completely since the spring. Then she had thought of Anya as a selfish man eater who did exactly as she wanted regardless of who might get hurt in the process. After the events of the spring and summer she saw an immensely strong woman who had never been dealt an entirely fair hand.
“He fell for Fiona.” Anya didn’t believe it was true but she was haunted by the idea of Geoff with the woman who could take the children away from her.
“No, no Anya, he never fell for Fiona. He fell for giving up arguing with his mother.” David was embarrassed seeing Anya cry.
“Being a Highly Unsuitable Girl. That was your strongpoint, you played the role very well.” He tried to cheer her up.
“It wasn’t a role. I am unsuitable.”
“Didn’t you ever put some of it on?”
“I don’t think so.” Anya was mystified, she wiped her eyes with the tissue Linda had handed her. “I’ve only ever been me.”
“We used to call you Hug.” John broke the silence.
“What?”
“We used to call you Hug.” He repeated.
“Hug?” Anya asked, bemused.
“Highly Unsuitable Girl. H. U. G. Hug. We’ve called you Hug ever since that day at Charing Cross. We knew Kathleen would hate you. We knew it would all end in grief…”
“Thanks John.”
“Well, you know what I mean.”
“Hug?” Anya looked at the men she had known now for 25 years, “You called me Hug? That’s sweet.”
15. Responsibiliti
The court room was in a modern office block, an almost identical rectangular room to the one they had visited two months before. A similar large table was almost covered with buff coloured files that may or may not have been the same ones as before. This time they all sat around the table at the same time.
“We’re here to do what’s best for Geoffrey, Rosemary and James.” The woman magistrate said. Anya nodded urgently. What would she do if the order went against her and the children were sent to Margaret, or to Fiona, or, worst of all, split up and put into care? They would be devastated. In the months since Geoff’s death they had become her family, her children. She could not lose them.
There were so many people in the room, many that Anya recognised but others she didn’t. She had known that Kathleen and Margaret would be there but it was still a shock to see them implacably resisting Geoff’s wishes. The atmosphere was supposed to be informal, David had told her that, apart from calling the magistrate ‘Your worship’ there would be nothing of the criminal courtroom in the proceedings. Under other circumstances Anya might almost have said people were friendly. But too much was at stake.
Most of the questions David had schooled her to expect were asked and she answered as she had been tutored. She was nervous, her voice shook, she did not sound like the confident, independent, mature woman she had believed herself to be. She hoped that the magistrate understood her love for the children. She floundered, however, when asked what role the children’s grand-mother and aunt would have in their upbringing, ‘bearing in mind the history between you’.
Anya looked down the table to Kathleen and Margaret.
“Mrs Philips.” Both Kathleen and Anya looked up. “Senior” The magistrate added. “Just why are you resisting the well documented wishes of your son that his wife should look after the children?”
“She is highly unsuitable.”
“Unsuitable? In what way?”
“She has no morals. She is promiscuous northern slut who trapped my Geoffrey into marriage. She is not qualified to bring up children.”
“That is harsh.”
“She shows no respect for her betters. She is not of our class. You must understand from her broken marriages, she
has led men astray, she has…”
“I think that is enough Mrs Philips. We have all the details of Mrs Anya Philips’s previous,” she hesitated, trying to find an appropriate word, “entanglements. She has been very open about them.”
“And you Mrs Cross? What are your feelings on the matter of your brother’s children?”
“They should be with me. I’ve brought up a family. I have a son and daughter who have done very well. I understand how to control teenagers. I would know how to keep my brother’s children on the straight and narrow.”
“Is there any indication that they might stray from that path?”
Anya tried to read the tone in the magistrate’s voice but failed. She had been beginning to hope that she was on her side against Kathleen and Margaret but it was impossible to say.
“Mrs Fiona Philips has not attended?” The magistrate looked at her clerk, who shook her head. “Is there any correspondence?” The justice’s clerk lifted a small sheet of paper from a file. “We have a note from Mrs Fiona Philips. She says she wishes only to forget her ex-husband and has no interest in his children.”
The magistrate had been looking at Geoffrey and noted his lack of reaction at his mother’s rejection. “You are the eldest child. I have spoken to you a number of times and believe you are old enough to know your own feelings on this. What do you think is best for yourself and your young brother and sister?”
There was a slight delay as Geoffrey scraped his chair back, stood up and straightened his jacket. No one else had stood to answer questions and Anya wondered if it was something David had suggested. “Your worship, I know that we want to stay together and I know what our father wanted. We want Anya to look after us. If she will?” He turned to her and she smiled encouragement, blinking hard to keep the tears in her eye from showing.
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