by KB Jacobs
I shuddered, and it wasn’t from the wine soaking my clothes, chilling in the night air. I hated my mom’s manipulative life. As one of the most powerful media moguls in the world, I was pretty sure she could convince even the Pope to have an orgy if she wanted. She knew how to work people.
As her only child, I’d learned the best way to deal with her was to not. I made sure to stay out of her sphere of influence—at least as much as I was able to. For the last two and half years, Walsh had served as my wall against her. We’d told her when I was in the hospital that we were lovers so she’d give me some space. It had worked, but with him getting married, my lie was going to come out, and it wasn’t going to be pretty.
As I walked, I glanced around the picturesque little tourist town. This time at night, all the stores and businesses were closed, but almost all of them had their windows lit up with displays. I could see why Walsh had become so entranced with both the town as well as the girl when he visited here. There was a nice vibe to the place that worked on even me.
A small river ran through the edge of downtown with a lit path that followed alongside it. I glanced down at the map app on my phone to make sure it would take me the right way before crossing the street toward it. Thank fuck I had the address for the rental house saved in my email files on my phone so I could use the GPS to guide me there.
I let the sound of the running water soothe my frazzled nerves. Huge trees reached for the sky like they’d stood there proudly for hundreds of years. This high up, there was virtually no light pollution, and the stars were the brightest I’d ever seen them. This walk had been something I needed, although as my toes pinched in my dress shoes. I wished I’d brought running shoes.
I hadn’t been running outdoors since the accident, too afraid to run into other people. But here, I could run in the middle of the night without fear. I doubted that Aspenridge was a hotbed of crime, and no one was out after six or seven. The idea had merit. Maybe I could order some shoes with overnight delivery service so I’d get them quickly.
Even as I had that thought, I rounded the bend in the river to find a little walking bridge that arched over the rushing water. It led straight to an old log structure with a sign that said, Running Wild, on it. I crossed the bridge. Outside, there were dozens of bright kayaks locked up. The window display caught my attention. A heavy duty, black mountain bike gleamed in the display lights.
Aspenridge wasn’t that big, probably five miles from one end of town to the other. With a bike, I could ride everywhere I needed to go without ever having to set foot in an automobile again while I was here.
Immediately, the muscles in my shoulders relaxed. I hadn’t realized just how tense I’d been about the idea of having to drive back and forth to the brewery every day. Here was a solution.
I took a photo of the bike and the store information on the door and walked the rest of the way to my rental cabin, feeling much lighter. Even after the scene I’d created at the dinner, maybe I could do this, act somewhat like a normal human being and leave the house every day and do the job Walsh asked.
Maybe.
The stricken face of the brunette, Alex, after she’d knocked the drinks into my lap flashed inside my brain. She’d been so focused on cleaning up the mess she hadn’t gotten a good look at me.
All I’d known was that she had touched me, her long fingered hands like pokers lighting up my skin, electrifying and terrifying. I’d had to escape before she saw the monster she’d touched so kindly, softly. The worst sort of torture was knowing if she’d looked up, her beautiful face would have morphed into horror and distaste before she could cover it. I’d seen it too many times before.
My stomach roiled with dread. I wasn’t normal and never would be again. I still struggled with accepting that. Girls like Alex wanted gorgeous guys they could show off on their Instagram and Twitter accounts. I wasn’t that guy and never would be again.
***
Walsh rolled into the house three hours later, smiling and happier than I’d ever seen him before. I tilted my head to examine him. Love looked good on him. His strawberry blond hair was mussed, and he had pink lipstick smeared across his lips that matched the shade I was pretty sure Lake had been wearing earlier tonight. His shirt was no longer tucked in, either, and it was buttoned crooked.
I smirked at him. “I thought that’s why you were staying here tonight, so there’d be no despoiling your lovely bride-to-be the night before your wedding.”
“Despoiling? Do we live in the 1800s now?”
I shrugged. “It sounded better than accusing you of drilling your BAE into the worn-out springs of that bench seat in the cab of your truck.”
His expression morphed into a grimace as his pale skin flushed bright red.
Busted.
I bit back a laugh.
“Yeah, okay, definitely don’t say things like that,” he muttered and glanced over at the movie playing on the TV. “Dude, what are you watching? Is that Doris Day?” He looked at me in horror.
I shrugged. “Hey, it’s a classic, and the satellite choices here aren’t that great.” I could have streamed something on my laptop, but that had seemed like too much effort when I’d arrived home and they’d been running a Doris Day marathon. I liked classic movies, all classic movies, and sometimes, something light and fun helped get me out of a funk. Take, for example, Doris Day starring in Lover Come Back. I liked it.
Walsh must not have been too appalled by the choice, because he grabbed a beer out of the fridge and joined me on the couch.
I chuckled into the neck of my beer but didn’t say anything.
Ten minutes later, he asked, “So, catch me up...she doesn’t know who he is?”
I shook my head. “No, he’s her competition in the advertising business. If she knew who he really was, she never would have dated him. So he lied and told her he was this innocent, geeky chemist instead of the player he really is.”
Walsh grunted. “That’s kind of what happened between Lake and me, except I was impersonating you...the debonair billionaire.”
I snorted. “I may have some money, but the debonair is a joke.” The skin tightened on my right side as a phantom pain brushed over the damaged nerve endings. “But it worked out for you in the end, so whatever,” I said, trying to fend off another discussion about how socially inept I was in my new reality.
“You could be that guy again,” Walsh said quietly. “Your scars have faded. They aren’t as bad as they used to be. I think you’re too self-conscious about it all, and that’s made other people’s reactions seem like more than they actually are.”
I wasn’t going to have this discussion. Not again. “Whatever.” I shrugged and refocused on the movie.
We were both silent for a few minutes.
“The grand opening for Ice’s Brew Pub is in just a couple of weeks,” Walsh said. “That’s our final Ghost Squad Charities project. What are you going to do then? Maybe you should take some time to yourself. Travel, explore, get out. You know, Alex is single. Maybe you should take these two weeks and explore your options.”
“What is it about guys who are in a committed relationship suddenly thinking that everyone should be in the same boat? I’m not ever going to be that guy, Walsh.” There was no way someone as gorgeous as Alex would ever be interested in someone like me. I was the beast to her beauty, and that kind of arrangement only worked in fairy tales, not real life.
“You used to want a family, Damian. I haven’t forgotten.”
I shook my head. “Guys out in the warzone talk all kinds of nonsense about home and family. That’s not my reality anymore, and it never will be. Let’s drop it, okay? You can be happy tying the knot with your girl tomorrow. Your happiness is enough. I’ll just live vicariously through you if it makes you feel better.”
He pressed his lips tightly together but didn’t argue.
We both refocused on the movie, and I tried to concentrate on the storyline of the two characters falling in love. B
ut suddenly, this movie didn’t seem as happy and lighthearted as it had before. Now it weighed me down, depressing me although the characters found happiness in one another.
I had wanted that—a wife, two-and-a-half kids, and the dog. But I’d lost my chance, and now the one person I’d counted on for everything was leaving me, too. Walsh had been my lifeline for the last two and half years. Suddenly, the reality of my interminable loneliness yawned in front of me.
I didn’t want that, but I had no idea how to fix it. Nobody wanted to hang out with a disfigured ex-soldier who suffered daily from anxiety issues. And even if they did, it wouldn’t be fair of me to saddle them with the weight of it all. I’d been too sick and focused on recovery when Walsh had moved in to realize the sacrifice he was making. I couldn’t do that to someone else again.
I rubbed uncomfortably along the edges of my scars along my ribs. The thin air at this altitude made my skin drier. I needed to apply some more lotion. The next day promised to be long and stressful, leading into two weeks of hell. That knowledge alone promised that tonight’s nightmares would be extra-bad.
I stood. “I’m going to head to bed. I’ll try not to keep you awake tonight.”
His expression darkened with concern that I shrugged off.
We both knew how bad my nightmares could get. I hadn’t taken that into account when we’d made the plan to have him sleep here. No matter what, he needed to be well rested for his day tomorrow. I grabbed my Kindle off the counter as I passed. I could just immerse myself into a book and catch up on my sleep tomorrow night. If I survived the day tomorrow...
Chapter Five
Alex
I stood outside of Lake’s condo in the dark and checked the itinerary on my clipboard with a penlight. Everything was set, but in the morning, I needed to double check that the flower shipment had arrived at the Astonian on time. I should have run over there to take a look at the bouquets myself, but if I hadn’t taken Lake to all her appointments, she would have skipped them and brewed beer instead.
A cold gust blew me against the side of the building, and I dug closer into my coat. I checked my phone again. I was the last one to leave The Treehouse, yet neither Lake nor Melissa was here yet. I tapped my screen to send yet another text message when headlights lit up the dark parking lot.
Lake climbed down from Walsh’s truck and slammed the faded yellow door. She sauntered over to me, her heels slung over her shoulder and her short blond hair sticking up in the back.
“Seriously? What did you do? Go park at the lake?”
“Of course not.” Another car pulled into the parking lot, and Lake flashed me an evil grin. “Melissa and Anthony beat us there, so we had to make do with the Astonian parking lot.”
Sure enough, Melissa hopped out of the newly arrived car and blew a kiss at Anthony in the driver’s seat before skipping over to us.
“Lord, the two of you are worse than teenagers whose parents left them alone for the weekend.”
“Yep.” Melissa pulled a bottle of wine out of her purse and waved it in the air. “I snagged this before we left the restaurant.”
“That’s my girl.” Lake unlocked her door and led us all inside.
I kicked my shoes off and marched straight to the fridge. My stomach had been too upset at dinner to eat, but after hours of wine and only a handful of crackers for lunch, I needed food. I pushed aside several to-go containers and pulled out some Chinese.
“I’m eating this,” I yelled from the kitchen.
Melissa and Lake were already settled on the couch with the wine poured when I made it over with half a container of cold fried rice. I sank into an armchair and propped my feet up on the end table.
“Okay, but I’m going to need a favor.” Lake took a sip of her wine and schooled her face into a neutral expression.
“Um...it’s old Chinese food, so don’t get crazy with the favor business.” I took a bite and swallowed. “That’s not bad, but not great. I’m thinking you could negotiate a ride to the airport.”
“It’s a little bigger than that.” Lake poured another glass of wine. “You should have a drink.”
I took the glass but didn’t drink any of it. “All right, Lake. We all know you suck at delivering bad news, so just get out with it.”
“I don’t suck at bad news.”
“Yeah,” Melissa said from the couch next to her. “You kinda do.”
“What are you talking about?” Lake looked from Melissa to me, honest confusion marring her features.
“The day you discovered the tank filter quit working and all our fish died, you tried to cook us dinner to break the news.” Melissa tucked her feet up under her and nodded at me, a thin smile lifting the edges of her lips.
“What’s wrong with that?”
I choked down a mouthful of rice. “You made fish fillets.”
“That’s all we had in the freezer,” Lake said, slapping at my feet.
“The goldfish crackers are what took it over the edge for me,” Melissa spit out before bending over in a fit of giggles.
“You are both officially the worst best friends ever,” Lake said, nudging Melissa with her elbow. “Which is why I need you to do me this really big favor that I know you’re going to hate, but you’re going to do it anyway, because you love me and I’m getting married tomorrow, so you can’t say no.”
I set the empty rice container on the end table. “Fine. What is it?”
“I need you to keep an eye on Damian while we’re gone.”
My stomach rolled, threatening to send back up the recent intake of cold rice. “That’s going to be a no go.”
“Please, please, please.” Lake climbed into my lap and laid her head on my shoulders so she could beg directly into my ear. “He wants to help out around the brewery while we’re gone, and he’ll need someone to show him around and make him feel welcomed. Plus, he’s staying in the cabin right next door to you.”
I rolled my eyes so hard they practically spun out of my head. “Isn’t that a convenient coincidence?”
“That’s what I thought,” Lake said, batting her eyes at me.
“Why do you torture me like this?” The last thing I wanted to do was spend more time with the guy I’d made a fool of myself in front of and who’d then acted as if I tried to have him whacked.
“Oh, just say yes already so we can get to the heavy drinking and dirty talk.” Melissa winked at me and took another sip of wine.
“Traitor,” I shot back at her. Of course, she was right. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for either of them. “He can cover some of the sales manager duties until I can hire someone else.”
“Thank you!” Lake squealed, jumping back into her own seat. “And maybe you could spend some time with him during the wedding tomorrow since neither of you has a date.”
“Wait.” Melissa set her empty wine glass down. “I thought you were going to bring that business guy who you go out with sometimes. I forget his name. The guy from Denver.”
“Vincent, and he couldn’t come. He has to be in Boulder this weekend. And before you say anything, Lake, that does not mean I’m free to entertain Damian.” I shot her my best angry glare. “I’m going to be very busy tomorrow, and I actually plan to enjoy myself, which I know won’t happen if I have to spend the evening with Mr. Sourpuss.”
“He’s not that bad,” Lake said, batting her baby blues and adding in a pout. “He’s just not used to being around strangers. Walsh said he’s barely left his house since his injury. Can you honestly harbor ill feelings toward a war hero?”
“I don’t harbor any feelings toward Mr. Thorne.” Lie. My lady parts had distinct feelings earlier when I was failing to clean him up. Despite the awful situation, I’d have to be a nun not to appreciate a well-defined body. But that doesn’t make up for him being a rude asshat.
“That doesn’t sound like the Alex who advised just going for it when it came to Anthony and me.” Melissa grabbed the bottle and poured herself another gl
ass of wine.
“That Alex was talking to a hopeless romantic who was bound to fall in love eventually. So why not fall in love with a good-looking, professional athlete?”
“And what would be so awful about falling in love with a successful, rich, American hero?” Melissa hugged a pillow to her chest.
“Because I don’t fall in love.”
Not now, not ever. Because falling in love could only lead to falling out of love. Eventually, it happened to everyone, so the only way to win the game was to never start playing.
Chapter Six
Damian
The laughter from the wedding reception being held in the soon-to-be-finished Brew Pub echoed through the rest of the empty building, and I tried to calm my rampaging heart by looking at old photos on the walls of the original bar for Naked Brews. I needed to go back into the room. I knew that. There was no reason for this reaction.
Well aware of my issues, Lake and Walsh had sat me at a table so that the scarred side of my face was turned away from the majority of the room. Being a recluse for the last two and a half years meant that I truly sucked at small talk. Every time conversation started at our table, I froze, not wanting to be engaged. I just wanted to fade into the background. Everything within me wanted to hide, to bury myself so deep that no one could ever look at me again.
The tap-tap-tap of heels echoed in warning behind me. My quiet peace was about to be shattered. I stiffened. The scent of her perfume—something expensive, but delicate with a hint of floral—tickled my nose before she said anything.
Alex.
“That’s Pat.” She stepped to my left as if she knew that I was self-conscious about the right side. “He was Lake’s dad and started Naked Brews in his garage.”
In the photo, he was laughing so hard I could almost hear the ghostly echo of the sound.
I didn’t say anything. I really, really didn’t want her anywhere near me, but something about her drew me to her. Time and time again throughout the day, my eyes had been drawn to her, following her as she smiled and laughed and flirted through the groups of people who’d come to celebrate Walsh and Lake’s wedding. I leaned a little bit closer just to feel her warmth. I couldn’t stop myself.