by Marc Avery
That made me smile. “I miss you too, Mom.”
“Anything new and exciting happening?”
“I met Essence’s parents.”
“I suppose you want me to meet her, right?”
“Maybe . . . Well . . . If it’s not a problem with you.” I crossed my fingers.
“Give me some time to think about it.”
“I guess that’s better than no.”
She sighed. “I still want what’s best for you and . . .” she trailed off.
“And she’s not what’s best for me?”
“I think you can do better. You have to be patient, and I believe the right woman will come along.”
“Once you get to know Essence, I think you’ll have a different opinion of her.”
“Maybe,” she said unenthusiastically.
“I’m just asking you to give her a shot.”
“My break is almost over, and I have to get back to work, baby.”
I sighed. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too.”
She disconnected the call.
The Yahoo! e-mail notification popped up on my phone. I opened the e-mail and Emily Waters sent me an offer letter detailing my health benefits, work schedule, and starting salary.
The position had great benefits, and the pay was phenomenal. I almost did a backflip when I got done reading through all the documents.
Then I got to her message at the bottom of the e-mail:
I apologize for the inconvenience, but the start date has to be pushed back to July.
April
The next time I went into work, Phaedra called me into her office. She had on a low cut top and a push-up bra. I tried not to stare at her breasts, but it was hard not to.
“I appreciate you being professional about the changes around here, and I have some good news . . . I can give you three shifts instead of just one.”
“Seriously?” I asked skeptically. I had been in her office too many times about this same thing. I was just about numb at this point.
“I can guarantee you those additional days during the week,” she said and offered a warm and disarming smile.
It was too late. I had my mind set on getting out of this job and moving on to greener pastures. They had played around too many times with my hours. I didn’t want to be flapping in the wind when the next inevitability happened. I would take the hours and make my move in July.
“Thank you so much for looking out for me, Phaedra. I really appreciate it,” I said smiling.
“It’s no problem. You’re a hard worker, and if I can help in any way, I will. Hopefully, there will be more good news to come.”
“I hope so, and thank you again.”
When I got back home after work, Essence was at the stove cooking dinner. I hugged her from behind. I messed up and said some things I didn’t mean, and I needed to get back on her good side.
“You’re wasting your time by touching me,” she said and didn’t turn around.
Ignoring her attitude, I rubbed on her breasts and nipples. She swatted me away. I tried to touch her breasts again, and she faced me.
“Look, Anth—” she started to say.
Before she could push me away, I sucked on her neck and squeezed on her ass.
She hit me in the shoulder weakly. “No, Anthony. Stop.”
I pinned her arms against the wall and kissed her shoulder blade, neck, cheek, and lips. With her eyes closed, she bit her lip. She was putty in my hands. She moaned as I pulled her panties to the side and rubbed on her throbbing clit.
“Let me get a condom,” I said.
I went to go upstairs, and she grabbed my wrist. “No,” she said. “Not tonight.”
We went over to the couch. She took her panties all the way off and spread her legs open for me. Loving her sweet smell, I buried my face in her crotch. She smelled like Fruity Pebbles.
We tried to outdo each other sexually. We must have switched positions three or four times. Neither one of us wanted to give in.
Once she came, I followed right behind her. Then we snuggled.
“I shouldn’t have cursed at you when you caught me drinking. Sometimes I don’t know how to express myself, and it comes out wrong. I’m sorry for that,” I said.
“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have called you an alcoholic. You were having a bad day, and I should’ve respected that.”
“I had got a bunch of rejection letters, and I needed a drink to numb the pain.”
“You just remember that it’s their loss. When you make it to the top, you can look back and laugh at the idiots who didn’t believe in you.”
“So you believe in me, huh?”
“A hundred percent, baby.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Always.”
“And I promise the drinking is not an issue.”
“Okay,” she said and touched my hand.
I took a deep breath and changed the subject. “You think your parents liked me?”
“I’m certain they did.”
“How can you be so sure?” I’m all for positivity, but they could’ve expressed something different to Essence behind the scenes. You never know.
“They’re pretty straightforward. They would’ve told you to your face if they didn’t like you.”
“I’m glad they liked me then.”
“Me too.”
“I can’t wait for you to meet my mother.”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
“You know they say your wife is a reflection of your mother.”
“Then your mother must be pretty special.”
“She’s one of a kind,” I said, smiling.
I pulled Essence closer to me and nuzzled her neck.
When I went to sleep that night, I prayed hard that my mother would accept Essence with open arms.
Prayer was all I had.
May
The butterflies in my stomach wouldn’t stop fluttering. Basically, I played with fire by having Essence and my mother meet each other. I had to do something because if I wanted a future with Essence, I needed her and my mother to be on the same page.
I sat at my mother’s dining-room table holding Michael, who had drifted off to sleep. My mother stood at the stove stirring spaghetti sauce. The kitchen smelled like garlic.
“You’re allowed to visit us more than just once in a while,” she said over her shoulder.
“I know, and I promise you I’ll visit more when I get some downtime. I been working a little more than usual.” She was right, but I needed some type of excuse to tell her. I needed to visit her more, and I planned to.
“You’d better. No matter what, you’re still my baby. We may butt heads and disagree on things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or want to see you.”
“I love you too,” I said and smiled. I looked at my cell phone and shook my head. Essence was late. She had pissed me off because she knew how important this was to me.
“I’ll be right back, Mom. I’m going to put him to bed.” I took Michael upstairs to the bedroom and then went outside.
Essence and I agreed she would be there at seven-thirty so we could eat dinner with my mother. While I paced the sidewalk, I mumbled to myself. I called Essence on her cell phone and got her voice mail. Where the hell was she at?
A few minutes later, I looked back across the street as she parked behind my mother’s neighbor’s car.
“Hey, baby,” she said after she got out of the car and came over to me.
“You’re late.” I pointed to my wrist, scowling.
“I’m so sorry. I got caught up in traffic. I should’ve left the job earlier to make it here on time. You ready?”
“Of course. I was born ready,” I said with a smile.
“Let’s make it happen then.”
We walked hand in hand up the steps and into the house. Every step I took, it felt like bricks were strapped to my ankles.
When we got into the kitchen,
I braced myself. “Anthony, I need—” my mother said as she turned around. “You didn’t tell me we had a guest.” She looked Essence up and down. “I’m Anthony’s mother, Brenda, but you can call me Ms. Porter.”
They shook hands unenthusiastically.
Essence put on a phony smile and nodded. “Nice to meet you, Ms. Porter.”
I grabbed three plates out of the cabinet and put them on the table. After I made all of our plates and poured us lemonade, we sat down at the table to eat.
The tension in the room was thick.
I tried to break the ice. “I’m glad we all got a chance to enjoy a meal together.”
Essence and my mother sighed right after each other.
“Can we all talk like civilized people?” I asked, not liking where this was headed.
“Tell me something,” my mother began, crossing her arms and addressing Essence, “what does a twenty-nine-year-old woman want with a teenager?” She went right in. She didn’t have a chill button.
“Mom, can you relax?” I asked, my arms flailing.
“It’s cool, Anthony,” Essence said and sipped her lemonade. She directed her attention back to my mother. “Age ain’t nothing but a number. I love your son, and he loves me. Nothing you do or say will change that,” she said with much attitude.
“What’s the problem? Nobody your age wants your ass?” my mother asked and smiled sarcastically.
Essence shook her head. “I’m a grown-ass woman just like you are, so please miss me with the disrespect.”
“You may have Anthony fooled, but I know you’re a predator.”
Essence smiled. “You’re entitled to your opinion.”
“I know I am cradle robber.” I gave my mother the death stare, and she just shrugged.
Essence ignored my mother and said, “Anthony, can you pass me the salt and pepper, please.”
Nobody said anything while we ate. The only thing that could be heard was our forks scraping our plates.
Once we finished with dinner, Essence told me, “I’ll be in the car.” Before she got up from the table, she kissed me on the mouth just to annoy my mother.
“I’ll be out there soon.” When Essence left, I directed my attention to my mother. “Really, Mom? You had to go there, didn’t you?”
She looked up at me indifferently. “All I’m doing is calling it like I see it. You can’t see what I see, and I don’t blame you. I’m not the one in love. You are.”
“You didn’t even give her a chance,” I said with a scowl.
“Maybe she isn’t worth the chance.”
I looked at my mother in disbelief. I always thought there was a glimmer of hope in regards to Essence and my mother’s relationship. Obviously, I was dead wrong.
“This isn’t about you. This is about me finding someone that I love, and who loves me back. If you can’t be happy for me, then you can kiss my ass.” My voice cracked with emotion.
I stormed outside and hopped in the car. I punched the dashboard so hard my hand hurt.
Essence touched my hand. “I’m sorry, Anthony. I wish this didn’t happen.”
“She didn’t have to do that.”
“You don’t need her approval for us to be together.”
“I know, but I wanted her support. That’s the least she could do.”
“You have to accept that she might never warm up to our relationship.”
My heart hurt because Essence was right. My mother might never be happy for me and our relationship. She played me, and for the time being, I didn’t have shit else to say to her.
June
Essence and my mother meeting each other sounded like a good idea on paper. Stupidly, I thought something positive would come of their meeting. Essence and I hadn’t talked about the incident since it happened, and I didn’t plan on bringing it up either. There wasn’t much more to say.
Sometimes I think positivity killed Essence. Whenever things were going too right, she had a tendency to incorporate negativity into our lives. This day was no different.
As I sat at the dining-room table using the laptop, Essence interrupted my flow with one of her bitching sessions.
“We need to be at my parents’ house by two o’clock. Can you get off the Internet for one minute?” She walked up the stairs and stopped. “And another thing. You need to get a driver’s license. I’m tired of being your damn chauffeur.”
I pushed back from the table and got up. “Let’s be real with each other, Essence. This isn’t about me being on the Internet or me needing to drive. What’s this really about? Be honest with yourself.”
She came all the way back down the stairs and stood at the bottom. She folded her arms across her chest, and her eyes narrowed to slits.
“This is about everything I’ve let fly around here. I’m sick of babying you.”
“And how exactly do you baby me?”
“Let me count the ways. You don’t drive, and you haven’t shown yourself to be proactive at all since we’ve been together. Anything to do with household concerns gets pushed to the backburner.”
“Where is all this coming from?”
“I’m just tired of being silent about things around here.”
I rubbed my face and sighed. “You want me to get my driver’s license? Cool, I’ll get one. Don’t just complain about shit. Help me move forward.”
“Help you? I’ve been carrying you the whole time we’ve been together.”
“Wow. So now I’m a charity case?”
“If the shoe fits,” she shrugged.
“How about you go to your parents’ house alone. How’s that?” I smiled sarcastically.
“I told them we’d be there at a certain time. Don’t make me look stupid.”
“Everything is about looks with you. Because I don’t have a license, that looks bad. Because I don’t make as much money as you, that looks bad. Get a grip on reality.”
“No. That’s where you’re wrong. This is about you being irresponsible. This is about me having to bitch and moan for things to get done around here. I’d be shocked if you did anything on your own without me telling you to.”
“You talk about wanting to be married and have children, and you behave like this? It’s okay to chill out sometimes.”
“That’s your problem. You’re too lackadaisical. If it’s not important to Anthony, then it doesn’t get your full attention.”
“You know what, Essence? You win. I’m a terrible person who doesn’t make you happy. There, I said it. Satisfied? I’ll be outside in the car,” I said and stormed off.
For the first time in our relationship, Essence was speechless. I went outside and left her standing there stuck on stupid.
A few minutes later, we were in the car driving to her parents’ house. The entire time I talked on the phone just to piss her off. Anything she threw at me I planned to throw back at her.
Petty would be my middle name.
June
For the next week, I took a practice driving test on the Internet until I got a passing score. I was tired of Essence’s bitching and complaining. More importantly, I hated not being self-sufficient. Essence’s message couldn’t have been clearer, but her delivery was off. I wanted to be free of her grip. If I could stand alone, our relationship would be better off in the long run.
I called in sick for work on a Wednesday morning and went to the DMV, where I sat in the waiting area for an hour before they called me in to take the driving test.
My palms rained sweat, and I tapped my foot as I sat there in front of the bright computer monitor. Methodically, I took my time with every question and eventually walked out of the DMV with my driver’s license. My heart swelled with pride knowing I would legally be able to get behind the wheel.
After I got off the bus from downtown, I came home and found Essence sitting at the dining-room table. I sat next to her.
“I got some good news,” I said and smiled proudly.
Essence rolled her eyes. “Wha
t is it?”
I slapped my driver’s license down on the table as a response.
Her eyes lit up like Times Square, and she jumped out of her seat to come and kiss me.
“I’m so proud of you. All I want you to do is be self-sufficient. My delivery sucked, but I had good intentions.” She sat back down.
“Your delivery did suck, but your message was very clear.”
“Sometimes I get so riled up, and by the time I realize the harshness of my words, it’s too late.”
I touched her hand. “We aren’t perfect, and I understand that. In the future, I would like for you to tell me what you want without confrontation.”
“I can do that.”
“You sure?”
“I promise.”
“I’m holding you to that.”
“I know.”
“Now I just gotta get a car of my own.”
She smiled devilishly. “In the meantime, you wanna test drive the Benz?”
“Hell, yeah.”
She put the car keys in my hand and went up the stairs.
“You’re not coming?” I asked, shocked.
She stopped on the staircase. “No, I’m not. You’re a big boy. You can handle it.”
Then she disappeared upstairs.
I revved the engine for a few seconds before I pulled out of the parking spot. Driving around the city, taking in the sights and sounds felt empowering. It also made me realize how much I needed to have my own vehicle. Something that I could put in my name.
When I got back home that night I called my mother. I needed to mend fences.
“Hello, Mister Kiss-ass. How are you?”
“Mom, I—”
She cut me off.
“You got some nerve calling here.”
“I called to say I’m sorry.”
“I didn’t raise you to be disrespectful, and I’m hurt and disappointed you would speak to me like that.”
I felt ashamed because I let my emotions get the best of me, and I shouldn’t have.
“I was wrong for what I said, but I stand by why I said it, though.”
She laughed. “I see this girl got your nose wide open, huh?”
“She does. You may not like my relationship, but I do ask that you respect it.”