by Robyn Donald
A flash of fury in the steel-blue eyes was swiftly extinguished, but she felt it emanating from him, fiercely controlled but violent. Before he could speak she hurried on, ‘I told him I was leaving him, but he threatened to have Rafiq killed if I did.’
‘Go on,’ Kelt said evenly.
She could read nothing—neither condemnation nor sympathy in his expression. Chilled, she forced herself to continue, ‘I knew then that the only thing I could do was die. But not before I’d written to Rafiq, telling him what Felipe planned to do. Then I went to a small Mediterranean island where Rafiq and I had holidayed once. I just walked into the water, and it was such a relief when I finally gave up swimming and surrendered to the sea.’
She could see the rigid control he was exerting, and some part of her was warmed by it.
‘So how did you survive?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said simply. ‘I lost consciousness, but before I could drown a fisherman found me.’
Kelt said through his teeth, ‘You should have told your brother what had happened to you—he wouldn’t have blamed you.’
She gave a bleak, cynical smile. ‘Perhaps I should have, but I was an addict. They don’t make sensible decisions.’ And she’d been so bitterly ashamed. She still was.
‘So why did the fisherman not turn you over to the authorities?’
‘He was a smuggler, but he was a kind man. He dragged me into his boat and took me to his family. I pleaded with them not to tell anyone where I was.’
‘So you could have another go at killing yourself?’ he demanded harshly.
‘At first,’ she admitted, pale and cold under his implacable gaze. ‘His wife and mother nursed me through the aftermath of drug addiction, and they all kept quiet about the fact that I’d survived. I owe my life and my sanity to them, and although I was sure I’d never, ever be happy again, they made me promise not to try to kill myself. They said I owed them that, as they’d saved me.’ She gave a pale smile. ‘The grandmother told me I had to live so that I could make amends for what I’d done.’
In a voice she’d never heard him use before Kelt said, ‘I’d like to meet that family. But I would like even more to meet this Gastano.’
‘You can’t—he’s dead; I searched for him on the internet that day in Kaitake. It’s horrible—wicked—to be glad a man is dead, but I am.’ At least Kelt and Rafiq were safe now. ‘Felipe didn’t kill people himself—he ordered others to do it, and it would have been done.’ She shivered. ‘Even a puppy he bought for me—once he asked me to do something—’ She stopped, unable to go on.
‘What exactly did he want from you?’ Kelt’s voice lifted every tiny hair on her body in a reflex old as time.
She’d started this; she had to finish it. ‘I’d agreed to go out to lunch with a friend from school. Felipe didn’t want me to go, but I made a feeble attempt at asserting my independence and went anyway. He got his chauffeur to kill the puppy while I was away.’
‘What happened to him?’ Kelt’s voice was corrosive.
‘Felipe must have tried to use Moraze anyway, because he was killed there in a shoot-out with the military. I suppose he thought that even without me to use as a hostage he could force Rafiq to obey him.’ She said in a shaking voice, ‘He didn’t know Rafiq, of course.’
‘When you found out this Gastano was dead, why didn’t you let your brother know you were alive?’
‘I am ashamed,’ she said in a low, shaking voice. ‘There are people who know what I was reduced to—who know about me. Young Alonso de Porto, for one.’
‘You were targeted and preyed upon,’ he said between his teeth. ‘Who cares about them?’
‘If only you were an ordinary New Zealand farmer it wouldn’t really matter,’ she said passionately, dark eyes begging him to understand, her voice completely flat, without hope. ‘But you’re not—you are rich, you have royal links and if we…if we continue our affair, it would soon turn up in the tabloids and then—I’d be found again!’
‘Why is that a problem?’ he asked relentlessly.
Hani was wringing her hands. Forcing them into stillness, she took several deep breaths and looked him straight in the eye. ‘You deserve better than to be embroiled in such a scandal.’
It was impossible to read his face when he demanded, ‘Do you love me?’
Don’t do this, her heart whispered. She hesitated, huge, imploring eyes fixed on his face. ‘I—’ She swallowed, unable to say the words. Why wasn’t he satisfied with what she’d already told him? Did he want her heart on a plate?
Ruthlessly he said, ‘I didn’t think you were a coward. Do you love me, Hani?’
Hani flinched. The sound of her real name was inexpressibly sweet on his tongue. ‘Think of the uproar if it ever got out that I am alive and was your mistress! Like Rafiq and his family—his wife and two little boys—you’d be shamed in the eyes of the world.’
Willing him to understand, she gazed at him pleadingly, but his expression was controlled, all violence leashed. ‘Answer my question.’
Something in his tone alerted Gabby, who stretched elaborately and climbed out of her basket, fussily pacing across to sit on Hani’s feet, where she indulged in a good scratch.
Hani hesitated again, her breath knotting in her throat.
‘One simple word,’ Kelt said inflexibly. ‘Either yes or no.’
‘I’m afraid,’ she whispered.
‘I know. But you have to say it.’
She licked her lips. ‘I—oh, you know the answer!’
‘Tell me.’
Tears magnified her eyes. He didn’t come near her, but she could feel him willing her to answer. And from somewhere she found the courage. Unable to bear looking at him, she said in a muffled voice, ‘Yes. Yes, of course I love you. I would die for you. But I couldn’t bear it if you were humiliated or hurt or made a laughing stock because I was stupidly naïve and—’
‘Very young,’ he said, and at last came across and took her into his strong embrace.
‘But once people know who I am, the whole sordid story will be in every tabloid, and people will sneer at you.’ She stared up into his dark, beloved face, then grabbed his arms in desperation and tried to shake some sense into him. It was like trying to move a rock. ‘Have you thought of that?’
He asked, ‘Have you ever been tempted to use drugs again?’
‘Oh, no.’ Near to breaking, she shuddered. ‘No, not ever again. That was why I came down with such a bad case of fever—I don’t like taking anything in case I become addicted.’
‘Then you can chalk the whole hideous experience up to youthful folly.’
Unevenly she said, ‘Kelt, it’s not so simple. What will your brother think?’
He gave her a little shake and said, ‘Look at me.’
Slowly, not daring to hope, she lifted her eyes.
Speaking firmly, he said, ‘I don’t care what Gerd or anyone else thinks. I’m not going to let you spend the rest of your life expiating sins you didn’t commit. You were young, and you were deliberately targeted by an evil man.’
She had to make him see sense. ‘Rafiq,’ she said urgently. ‘My brother—’
Frowning, he interrupted, ‘If it had been your brother this had happened to, would you turn away from him?’
More tears ached behind her eyes. ‘Of course not,’ she said quickly, ‘but—’
‘I understand why you had to escape, but that reason no longer applies,’ Kelt said, his calm tone somehow reinforcing his words. He paused and let her go, taking a step backwards and leaving her alone and cold and aching with love.
When she said nothing, he went on, ‘It comes down to one thing only; either you join me in my life and trust me to look after you and our children—stop shaking your head, of course we’ll have children!—or I will simply have to kidnap you and keep you here, chained to my side.’
Colour came and went in her skin, and a wild, romantic hope warred with fear. She stared at him, saw unco
mpromising resolve in his expression, in the straight line of his beautiful mouth, and although her heart quailed joy fountained up through her.
‘You’re a hard man,’ she said, her voice shaking. ‘And I love you. But I can’t, Kelt. I don’t—I just don’t have the courage.’
‘You had the courage to tell your brother what was going on, to try to sacrifice yourself for him and your country, to hide to keep them safe. You have the courage to do this.’
Her breath caught in her throat. ‘You make me out to be more than I am.’
‘You are much more than that, my valiant warrior, and I look forward to a long life together so I can convince you of that. I don’t blame you for not wanting your story blazed across the media, but it can be managed. I can protect you, and together we’ll stare the world down.’ Then he smiled, and her heart melted. ‘So, can you take that last step and tell me where you’d like to live?’
Hani drew in a sobbing breath and surrendered. He hadn’t said anything yet about loving her, but she didn’t care. As long as he wanted her she would treasure each day she spent with him.
‘I’ll live wherever you are,’ she told him quietly, her gaze never leaving his beloved face. ‘Because if I don’t, I won’t really be living at all—just existing, as I have been for years. But—could it be here? I love this place.’
This time the loving was different. She expected—longed for—a wild triumph from him, but he was all tenderness, a gentle lovemaking that was strangely more erotic than anything they’d shared before, spun out so long that she lost her composure completely and gave him everything he wanted, demanded everything from him.
And when it was over he cradled her into his lean body and said against her forehead, ‘I love you. I want you to marry me as soon as you can organise a wedding.’
Astounded, Hani stared up at him. ‘All right,’ she whispered, then wept into his shoulder.
‘I didn’t know,’ she finally muttered when he’d mopped her up.
‘That I love you?’ His voice was harsh, raw with an emotion she had to accept. ‘Of course I love you. I’ve loved you ever since I saw you. Never doubt me.’ He paused, his face hardening, and said, ‘But before we marry, you need to get in touch with your brother.’
‘I—’ She froze. ‘Oh, God,’ she whispered, her throat closing.
‘You know you must,’ he said quietly. ‘I intend to show the world that, whatever happened in the past, I’m not ashamed of loving you. I want to flaunt this precious gift I’ve been given, and I can’t do that if you insist on hiding away like a criminal. You can do it. You’re no longer the terrified girl who tried to kill herself and then had to run, and I’ll be with you.’
She dragged in a shivering breath. Like this, skin to skin, the sound of his heart in her ears, his body lithe and powerful against her, here in his arms, she could be brave.
And his words had made her think; she would never have turned away from her brother.
‘How can Rafiq forgive me for everything I did?’ she asked in a muffled voice. ‘Most of all for my cowardly silence, allowing him to think I was dead, after the suicide attempt.’
‘You’d forgive him.’
‘Rafiq would never be so weak—so stupid. He is strong.’
‘So are you,’ Kelt said, his voice very tender. ‘And you’re no longer the green girl he once knew—you’ve grown and matured and gained self-command.’
She looked up into his beloved face. ‘And if I don’t do this I’ll be letting Felipe win.’
He nodded, holding her eyes with his. If Rafiq rejected her she’d be devastated, but she wouldn’t be alone. Not any more.
Capitulating, she dragged in another shuddering breath. ‘Then I’ll go to Moraze.’
‘I’ll come with you.’
Thirty-six hours later she was walking down the steps of the private jet Kelt had chartered, her knees shaking so badly she didn’t dare look around the international airport at Moraze. Kelt slung an arm around her shoulders.
‘Relax,’ he said calmly. ‘Everything will be all right.’
‘I know.’
An hour previously she’d rung Rafiq’s personal number, and the memory of that conversation was seared in her brain. He had organised for them to land in the military area and a helicopter was standing by to take them to the castello.
Sitting tensely in the chopper as it approached the grey castle that once kept watch over the approach to Moraze’s harbour, she clutched Kelt’s hand.
‘It will be all right,’ he repeated calmly, sliding his arm around her.
‘I c-can’t—he cried, Kelt. He cried when I convinced him that I am alive.’
He kissed her into quietness. ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘If I had a dearly loved sister returned to me from the dead I’d weep too.’
Fortified by her love and Kelt’s unfailing support, she no longer automatically assumed every man was like Felipe Gastano, but this startled her into silence.
‘I should have met you six years ago,’ she said forlornly, then added, ‘No, I was too young. Tukuulu taught me things I’ll never forget—that I can survive on my own, that I can do work that is worthwhile, that there are people infinitely worse off than I could ever be, and that people are basically the same the world over. I grew up there.’
She wore sunglasses, keeping them on even when the servant—someone she didn’t know—ushered them through the castello. Kelt’s steady hand at her elbow gave her comfort and resolve.
The servant opened the door into Rafiq’s study. Her brother was standing by the window, but he turned to look across the room as she took off her sunglasses and produced a wobbly smile for him.
‘I’m so sorry,’ she said uncertainly. ‘So sorry I let you down, and so very sorry I let you believe I was dead.’
He still said nothing, and she went on in a muted voice, ‘You see, I thought then it—it was best.’
He came towards her then, his handsome face set in lines that showed her how much control he was exerting. In their shared language he said quietly, ‘I have always blamed myself for letting you go without a proper person to look after you.’ He held out his arms.
With a choked little cry she ran into them, and for long moments he held her, gently rocking her as she wept on his shoulder.
At last, when she was more composed, he held her away from him and said in English, ‘You were always beautiful, but you are radiant now.’ His green eyes flicked from her face to that of the man watching them. ‘So, having had you restored to me, I understand I am to lose you again? Introduce your man to me.’
Much later, when she and Kelt were alone on the terrace in the shade of the starflower tree, with the moon shining kindly down onto a silver lagoon, he asked, ‘All demons slain now?’
‘Yes, thank God,’ she said soberly, so happy that it hurt. ‘When Rafiq told me that everyone in Felipe’s organisation was either dead or in prison, I felt a weight roll off my back.’
‘I can’t help but wish I’d had some hand in Gastano’s death,’ Kelt said evenly.
She shivered. ‘He was an evil man, and nobody will be sorry he’s dead.’
‘Those who live by death and treachery, die that way,’ Kelt said, his tone ruthless.
She was silent for a few moments, then turned and looked up into his face. Kelt could be hard and she suspected that he could be even more dangerous than Felipe had ever been, yet he’d shown her tenderness unsurpassed, and understanding and love.
Stumbling, her words low and intense, she tried to tell him what he meant to her. ‘You have stripped his memory of power. You have shown me that there is nothing more potent than love. I’ll never be able to thank you enough—’
‘Thanks aren’t necessary or wanted,’ he broke in, his voice rough. ‘Will you be happy with the life we’ll lead? It will be mainly in New Zealand, because I can’t live in Carathia.’
Something in his tone alerted her. ‘Why not?’ she asked anxiously.
‘In
the country districts there is a legend that the country will only ever be at peace when the second child in the royal family rules. The rebellion my grandmother fought off was an attempt by her younger sister to take the throne from her. I am the second child.’
She stared at him. ‘And this is a problem for your brother?’
‘At the moment, yes. The legend has resurfaced, and with it stirrings of rebellion, only my security men have discovered that it’s being fomented by a cartel that want to take over the mines.’
‘Like Felipe with Moraze,’ she said in a low, horrified voice.
‘Indeed.’ His tone was layered with irony.
Slowly, wondering at the coincidence, she said, ‘So you understand.’
‘I do indeed. Except that for me there has never been any sense of exile. I have no desire to rule Carathia, and since I was young I’ve always considered myself more of a New Zealander than a Carathian. I can run our enterprise as easily from New Zealand as Carathia, although there will always be occasions when I have to travel.’
‘I’ll come with you,’ she said quickly. ‘But is everything all right for your brother now?’
‘Yes, the rebellion has been well and truly squashed.’
‘How? Were you—was there fighting?’
‘No,’ he said calmly. ‘I toured the area and told the people that I would never rule Carathia, that I was planning to marry and live for the rest of my life in New Zealand. It seems to have done the trick; once they realised I was in earnest, the agents who were stirring the trouble were greeted with curses.’
She said fiercely, ‘It must have been dangerous. Don’t you ever dare to do anything like that again.’
He drew her to him, his expression softening. ‘You and our children will always come first with me.’
The kiss that followed was intensely sweet. When at last he lifted his head she clung, so filled with joy she couldn’t even stammer a word.
He said, ‘And once we’ve said goodbye to Rafiq and Lexie you have my family to meet. You’ll like my brother—and he’ll like you. Hell, you’ll probably even like Rosie’s mother, who’s as flaky as they come!’