by Elena Aitken
“Tell me more about the boats you’re going to rent.” Marcus changed the subject. “Will I need a boat license to take one out? Or can anyone rent one?”
Ian slipped easily back into conversation about his business and the plans he had. When Sam came back to deliver bowls of soup to the table, Ian was ready to take his leave and let the group enjoy their dinner. But Gwen wasn’t back from the restroom yet and at the very least he wanted to ask her whether he could maybe buy her a coffee sometime. He had zero time to go on a date or even make a new friend. No matter how gorgeous she was. But it wasn’t just her looks. There was something about her. In only a few minutes of talking to her, he felt as if he knew her already and wanted to get to know her even better. She was…special. It sounded so stupid, but it was true.
Before he had to make a decision about staying or going, Gwen returned with a sexy little smile on her face.
“I should let you eat your dinner,” he said to the group, keeping his gaze on Gwen.
“You don’t have to go.” Marcus spoke up. “I like not being the only guy. Besides, you didn’t finish telling me about the shop you’re opening at the Dockside. Seriously, how are you going to manage running a marina, a rental business and a retail shop?”
Ian laughed. “I’m not entirely sure. I keep thinking I should hire someone. At least to help me get set up. It really is a lot. But I think it would be nearly impossible to find someone with enough experience to actually be helpful, who only wanted to work super part-time.”
“I’m looking for something to do for the summer.”
Ian turned and looked at Gwen as if she’d just told him he’d won the lottery. Maybe he had. “You’re looking for a job?”
“A job?” Deanna asked. “Since when?”
Gwen smiled again—it wasn’t something Ian was bound to get sick of any time soon—and turned to her friend. “Well, I was thinking of sticking around for the whole summer and why not spend my time doing something useful for a little while? Besides, I have a college degree in commerce and I used to work as a project manager. If you think I might be helpful—”
“Do I?” He grabbed her hand before he could stop himself. “Absolutely.”
“Well then.” She laughed and smoothly pulled her hand away, leaving him feeling unexplainably empty. “Why don’t we discuss it further sometime?”
“Over coffee? Tomorrow?”
No doubt Ian was way too enthusiastic about the meeting. But if Gwen had as much experience as she said she had, he needed her. It had nothing to do with how gorgeous she was and the completely unexplainable draw he’d felt toward her all evening. Nothing at all. He just needed to keep telling himself that.
Gwen laughed. It was a sound that was both unique and familiar. Either way, it was absolutely musical. “I think I have time tomorrow.”
A flash of movement, and something that he could only attribute to instinct, caught his attention by the door. Chelsea. Whatever she’d been doing, she was done now. He waved his hand in her direction before giving Gwen his attention once more. “Say, two o’clock? At Dream Puffs?”
A flicker of something he couldn’t quite figure out crossed her face when she saw his obvious distraction. But she smiled just as brightly as she had before. “Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
He slid out of the booth and looked into her eyes one more time. “I look forward to it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a situation to attend to.” He nodded at everyone, made his farewells, and smoothly intercepted Chelsea before she could escape out the front door again.
“Maybe before you run away again I could introduce you to your new boss.” It wasn’t a question and to make sure Chelsea knew it, he grabbed her arm and guided her back toward the bar so she could meet Samantha.
Chapter Three
“Seriously. What were you thinking?” Deanna had asked her the very same question at least ten times already that morning, and Gwen was sick of answering. So she didn’t.
But that didn’t stop Dee.
“Gwen. He’s going to figure out it’s you. What are you going to do when that happens? What are you going to do when he looks at you and remembers Gigi?”
“He’s not going to remember,” she said with confidence. “Guys like that never do.” And she believed it, too. If Ian was going to remember who she was, he would have by now. The fact of the matter was, she hadn’t rated enough to register on his radar back then, and if she rated now, it wouldn’t matter. After a night of thinking on it, and sleeping on it, she felt better than ever about her idea. And her readers agreed.
“Besides,” she told Deanna. “My readers are all over this.” She flipped open her laptop and logged in quickly to her blog and the hundreds of comments she’d received since her impromptu post the night before. “I think I struck a nerve.” She clicked through to the comment section and picked one at random. “Listen to this.”
Deanna stopped with a dish towel in her hand and waited.
Gwen cleared her throat and read. “What you’re doing is perfect. I can’t count how many boys looked the other way and dismissed me when I was fat. Now that I’m thin and healthy, I would give anything to have the opportunity you do to show them what they’ve missed out on. Work it, girl. For all of us.”
She finished reading and looked at her friend. “See? And that’s just one comment out of hundreds. This is a thing, Dee. A very real thing. You don’t get it because you’ve never had to deal with this before. But for those of us who’ve lived and loved and been totally and completely rejected…it sucks.”
“Everyone’s been rejected, Gwen. All of us have had that experience. It’s not universal to those who are…”
“Overweight and awkward?”
“I wasn’t going to say that.” She put her hands on her hips. “Besides, it’s not like I’m a bathing suit model myself. I know a bit about being hurt in love.”
It was true. Deanna wasn’t one of the super-thin, bikini top wearing types who they’d mostly spent summers with. She had curves and they looked amazing on her. But it wasn’t the same and Gwen was sure she knew it. Besides, Deanna was now a successful doctor and her boyfriend was a world-famous snowboarder who she just happened to have been secretly in love with for years. She couldn’t possibly know what it was like to struggle the way Gwen had.
“I was going to say that I don’t think your weight has anything to do with the fact that Ian doesn’t remember you.”
“Really?”
“Really. He had a lot going on that summer, if you remember. In fact, the summer that you’re referring to was the summer his family imploded. Remember?”
She did remember. She’d thought of that detail a few times and for a while, she’d even tried to convince herself that Ian’s personal drama was the reason why he’d blown her off. But she knew in her heart that wasn’t it.
Gwen shook her head. “It doesn’t matter,” she said. “None of that matters. Besides, you should see the increase in traffic my blog has seen since last night. Last night, Deanna. This is huge. Do you know what this could mean for me? For my career?”
Dee shook her head and leaned back against the counter. “I truly have no idea. You know I don’t fully understand how you make a career out of sharing your life on the Internet.”
Gwen ignored that. It was a common comment. She heard that all the time from people in her life. No one could understand how going on a weight loss journey and documenting every part of it on Instagram and in a blog could make you famous. Not that she was famous. Not yet. But with a little more attention, she just might be.
“I could get the sponsorship that I need,” she said. “And prime advertisers.” With a firm click, she closed her laptop and stared at Deanna across the table. “Hell, Dee, I could get a book deal.”
“A book?”
“Yes.” She hadn’t told anyone what she was about to tell her best friend, but she couldn’t hold back her excitement any longer. Especially with the increased traffic of he
r website. “I had a talent agent contact me last week, Dee. Jade Johnson. And she talked about the potential for a book deal and maybe even a reality TV show.”
Dee’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. How do you think some of these stars get their shows? It was all because of their real lives. This is my real life. If I had enough interest in my site and what I’m doing, it could happen. It really could.”
“And that’s important to you?” her friend asked with genuine care.
“It is,” she said softly. “It really is. I’ve worked hard to change who I am and in doing so, I discovered that there are a lot of women who are just like me. I speak for them, Dee.”
“And they want to see this happen?”
She nodded. “They do.”
“And you’re not going to hurt him?”
That wasn’t her honest intention. Sure, she’d been hurt. But she didn’t really want to see anyone hurt the way she had been. Gwen shook her head. “I won’t hurt him.”
It took her a minute but Deanna finally nodded her head once and smiled. “Then I want what you want, Gwen. I always have, and if this is going to get you what you need…” She turned away for a second before she looked back. “Just don’t hurt him.”
Gwen smiled and sat on her hands. “I won’t,” she promised, and really hoped she hadn’t just lied to her best friend.
*
Ian banged on the door for what had to be the third time. “Chelsea. We’re going to be late. Hurry up.” He looked at his watch again. 1:30. He was supposed to meet Gwen for a coffee at two o’clock. The last thing he wanted was to be late. Never mind the fact that Chelsea was supposed to start her first shift at the Grizzly Paw. Sam had done him a huge favor and after their first meeting the day before that had gone less than perfect considering Chelsea looked as if she would have rather been anywhere else, it was important to Ian that she make a better impression today. “Seriously, Chelsea.” He banged again before he walked away.
His cell phone vibrated in his pocket. Welcoming the distraction, he checked the caller ID. Declan. Perfect.
“What is up with your sister?” he said into the phone.
“It’s going well, is it?” Declan laughed.
It was a dammed good thing he was thousands of miles away in some random country, saving the world with his new disaster relief foundation, DAR. Living saint or not, Ian would have kicked his little brother’s ass if he’d been standing in front of him.
“No,” he said. “It’s not going well. Not at all. What is it with this girl? She won’t talk to me, she’s always on her phone, and she’s currently locked herself in the bathroom and won’t answer the door.”
Declan laughed again. A sound that was really starting to get annoying. “She’s twenty-two, Ian. It’s not like she’s going to want to sit around and play bridge with your old man ass.”
“Careful, kid.” Ian tried to sound stern, but Declan always did have a way of making him lighten up. “Okay, you have a point,” he conceded after a minute. “But seriously, what’s her deal? She seems pissed as hell at being here and she’ll barely say two words to me.”
“She thinks you hate her,” his brother said simply.
“I don’t—”
“You do, Ian. Even if you think you don’t. You do.”
The words hit him harder than they should have. Or maybe they should have. “I don’t,” he managed to say after a minute.
Declan sighed. A sound that could be heard just as clearly as if he stood next him and not in Haiti.
“I don’t,” Ian said again, but this time it felt like a lie. He did hate Chelsea and her sister, Amber, and not because they deserved to be hated. They didn’t. Not at all. But because of what their existence had done to his family. His father never would have left his mother if his sisters—no, his half-sisters—hadn’t been born. Everything should have stayed the way it was meant to stay. But no. It hadn’t and even if it wasn’t really their fault, Declan was right: Ian had always at least partly blamed Chelsea and Amber.
“If she hates me, why would she agree to come here? She’s clearly in hell.”
“I’m sure she’s not in hell.”
“She is.”
“Whatever. Chelsea’s had a rough go of things at home. She didn’t go to school, she’s mad at Dad, and she just needs some…well, some direction in life.”
Ian couldn’t understand that feeling. He’d always had direction. Or at least, he had direction after that summer when everything changed. As soon as his dad left, Ian was the man of the house. He was in charge and he needed to make sure everything was okay for his mom and brothers. He didn’t have a choice; he’d needed to have direction. And that included getting a job so he could be around for his mom and little brothers, working his way up in the company and making something of himself. Direction wasn’t something you found—it was something you made.
“I’m not sure I can be the one to give her that.”
“Ian, if anyone can help Chelsea find direction, it’s you. But go easy on her. She’s just had a bad breakup with some idiot and she needs time to heal. I think you’re both going to be good for each other.”
“I don’t need time to heal.” Something about the way Declan said that put him on edge.
“No,” his little brother said slowly. “It’s not so much that you need time to heal, but you need to…”
“What?” Clearly Dec had something to say to him. Something that he fancied himself an expert at. “I need to what?”
Another sigh came across the line. “You need to live, big brother. You need to enjoy your life and just…well…live. I think you can both help each other.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I?”
Ian opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again. He walked to the front of the house and onto the deck that overlooked the lake. Live. What did that even mean? Be free, have fun, enjoy life without constantly stressing about everything? If that’s what Dec meant then, yes…Ian did need to learn how to live. When was the last time he took a boat out on the water and jumped off into the lake? Hell, he couldn’t even remember the last time he’d sat around a campfire laughing and just enjoying himself. Come to think of it, all those memories revolved around the lake and Cedar Springs. The last time Ian had really been able to cut loose and just…be, he’d been right where he was. Only things had been different then.
Or were they? Was he just making them seem different in his head? Hadn’t the real reason for coming back to Cedar Springs been to reconnect with some of that carefree lifestyle that he’d once had and lost?
Yes.
It had. When he’d started to make plans to return to Cedar Springs and the old cabin, he didn’t realize at first why he was doing it. But then with each passing day, as he made the proper arrangements, he got more and more excited. And it wasn’t just excitement. It was a deep sense of relief that flowed through him every time he thought about the summer house and spending time there. Maybe even making it his home permanently.
Maybe Declan was onto something. Maybe he did need to live a little. Return to his roots and what made him happy. Maybe Cedar Springs in the summer was exactly what he needed.
“Ian? Hello? Did I lose you? This connection is a little rough.”
Ian shook his head, lost in his thoughts. He hadn’t realized Declan was still talking. “I’m here.”
“Okay. I thought maybe I lost you. The reception isn’t great here.”
“No. I’m here, sorry. I was just….well, I was just thinking. Maybe you’re on to something, little brother.”
“I’m not just a pretty face, ya know?”
Ian laughed. “Speaking of a pretty face…”
“Don’t tell me you met someone already? The girls in Cedar Springs always did like you.”
“Right,” Ian said, not bothering to deny it. “But Gwen isn’t from Cedar Springs.” He realized as he spoke that he didn’t really know whe
re she was from. There was a lot he didn’t know. Pretty much everything, actually. “She just got here and is staying with Deanna. Remember her? Her dad was the doctor and now it turns out, she’s the doctor.”
“Crazy. I remember Dr. Gordon. He casted my arm after you guys broke it.”
Instinctively, Ian looked over to the tree down by the water where Declan had broken his arm the summer he was eight. “First of all,” he said. “We didn’t break your arm. You did. Nobody forced you to climb that tree. And we most certainly weren’t the ones who suggested trying to swing out of that tree into the lake. That was all you, little brother. All you.”
Declan laughed. “Well, it wasn’t all bad, I guess. Mom felt so bad for me that I got all my favorite foods and ice cream every day for the rest of the summer.”
At the mention of their mother, Ian shifted gears. “How is Mom?” He hadn’t spoken to her since the day he called to tell her he’d be returning to the summer house. It was the first time in almost ten years that any of them had been back and Ian wasn’t sure how she’d react. Especially with the news that Chelsea would be joining him.
“She’s doing fine,” Declan answered. “I talked to her yesterday, actually. She was really excited that you were going to open up the house again. I think she might actually like to go for a visit.”
“This summer?”
“Well…maybe not. But soon.” Declan paused. They both knew why she wouldn’t visit. “Anyway, bro, I better run. But promise me you’ll have a little fun this summer. This Gwen sounds like maybe the person to help you do that. And go easy on Chelsea. You guys need each other. Even if you’re both too stubborn to see it.” Declan mumbled something about heredity traits, but Ian ignored him because he was focused on the other thing Declan had said.
Maybe Gwen would be just the person to help him remember how to live. He said his good-byes and hung up, taking a glance at the time on his phone. Dammit.