"I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was an Innovan sympathizer," Marcus said shortly. He didn't want to believe that.
"What makes you think so?" Ian asked. Marcus ordered his thoughts for a second.
"Remember what he said? Something about Noganus being an alleged Dread Paladin. About me 'not' giving him a chance at rehab." Marcus let his shoulders slump. "He's actually defending the man."
"I don't think it's that cut and dry Marcus," Rebekah offered. "I mean, people nowadays have all kinds of wild opinions about the way the Paladin's do business." Marcus nodded.
"I know Rebekah. I know. And that's the problem. The ignorance about what we do. I don't think Ellis even knows what it is he's defending. That is, if I'm right." Ian raised his hand. "What Ian?" Ian put it down sheepishly.
"He has a point though." Marcus looked up in surprise. "Wait, I'm not saying I agree with him, but take yourself out of the paladin thinking for a second and look at it. The Paladins don't exactly give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to the law. Actions in sorcery are punished, and quickly." Marcus was about to protest, but Ian wasn't finished. "If Ellis is looking at this from a social standpoint, then maybe what he's mad about is what he sees as a lack of mercy on our part." Rebekah didn't necessarily agree.
"But shouldn't justice be handed out swiftly and equally Ian?"
"Yes, but to a kid like Ellis, who apparently sees the world a little differently, maybe he doesn't see justice for what it is. Maybe he thinks justice should be set aside and we should just be nice to everyone." Marcus inhaled deeply. This was an argument he'd heard before. "A lot of people in Meridian used to talk about negotiating with the cartels and everyone being all nice-nice. It was all a bunch of 'hey, we won't say anything if you don't hurt anybody' garbage." Both Rebekah and Marcus grew quiet. "They tried it once. Didn't work of course."
"It's not that, guys. Though I think we could debate justice and mercy until the world stops spinning. He's not thinking social, political or religious. But he's probably using those to justify his position. Everything about what he did said it was personal on some level. His tone, his words, his stance. Even that insult about me being a vain little man. All of it said that Ellis believes this on a very deep, very human plane. He really believes that I killed Noganus in cold blood." Marcus shook his head.
"So, what does that mean then?" Rebekah asked.
"Ellis hates the Paladins. Or at least, what the paladins represent. He was staring at these holo-images in a strange way. Almost like he didn’t want us to know he recognized them." Marcus looked at the floor. Somehow, he had just uncovered the greatest riddle of all. How do you give faith to those that refuse to believe? Marcus wasn't sure even where to start.
Chapter 4
Way Off Target
The concert hadn't been what Jennifer had expected. It was a packed house, and a raucous crowd, but they'd been so loud, she couldn't hear at all what music was playing. The Calidor Palladium was acoustically perfect, but the crowd was so insane, their sound overpowered the speakers. The fact that Jennifer was wearing an earpiece with the music playing had been the only thing that got her through it. She'd never realized how difficult it could be to be so popular.
Drew had given her a rundown of all the things he'd noted that were wrong with her current performance. Even though he was on stage with her, helping her perform her duet, 'In the Company of Fools', he was still keeping a close tab. He kept saying it was so they could stay sharp, but Jennifer knew better. He was rating her against himself, as though he were a virtuoso. He had every bad note and off rhythm line cataloged. It was very annoying.
The door to her hotel room swung aside easily. The room was quiet and dark. She preferred it that way. Lately, it had been the only welcome sight she'd had. She closed and locked the door as swiftly as she could without slamming it, and let herself be absorbed by the darkness. She relished the quiet she had before her meditations. It was very centering.
She'd learned only a few hours before the concert that her book was being published. It was already at the presses and Jennifer would begin a book tour within the week. The timing surprised her. She didn't realize that things moved so quickly in the new age book world. But a signing tour meant rest, so she didn't question it much. Instead, she looked forward to it. It would mean a break from performing for a while. She needed the down time, even though Drew didn't agree. He could be so heartless sometimes.
Jenny walked into the room slowly, making sure not to trip over anything she may have left on the floor. She'd gotten into a bad habit of leaving things all over the place. The tidiness her mother had taught her was quickly starting to erode. She reached the small nightstand next to her bed and touched on the small lamp. The room became dimly lit, and Jenny could see just enough to do what she intended.
The drawer of the nightstand had a small leather bag inside it. Jenny pulled it out almost reverently and knelt down on the bare floor. She reached into the handbag and pulled two candles. Both were only about five inches long with milky coloring. Nothing really remarkable about them at all. She placed one on either side of her and lit them. The shadows in the room started to flicker about in the dancing candlelight.
Jenny then locked her eyes forward, and let her vision blur out until her eyes shut themselves. She cleared her mind, removing all thought and all concern, until only the meditation was about her. She bowed her head and concentrated on nothing. It wasn’t the simplest thing to do, especially when she was stressed. Her mind tended to wander toward deep thoughts, but she'd learned that pursuing them was tiresome. Marcus had always told her to follow the thoughts through to their end.
"The answers to your questions are found in the pondering," he'd said. "You get thoughts like that for a reason."
Jenny didn't want these thoughts though. They were hard to bear, even when she was ignoring them. It took so much out of her to confront her feelings. She just wanted to go somewhere that her feelings would not follow her to. She wanted peace like everyone else. Sylph had given her the tools to shut the noise out of her mind. But according to him, she was still an amateur.
It took some time, but Jennifer began to feel that floating sensation. She began to feel herself leaving the physical plane and enter a plane of purest mind. She began to feel herself transcending. It was what had changed her over the last year. The feeling was hard to explain. She knew she wasn't going anywhere, but she still existed somewhere else also. She'd found her own haven of mind. She didn't know exactly what it meant, but it had a profound impact on her.
It was the experience that had caused her to write her book. She was again in the place that had granted her a glimpse of truth. Sylph had said that she shouldn't tell anyone about the place or the particulars of her experience. That to do so would offend the gods and remove from her any knowledge or gift she’d been given.
But Jennifer couldn't help it. It was so profound. Even in her deepest moments of prayerful comfort, she hadn't felt something so overwhelming. It was not what her mother had described to her. It was not a small, piercing experience. Rather, it was full-blown and face forward. Jennifer had been rocked by the first contact with her guide. Almost to the point of fear. Sylph had explained that she was new, and would grow accustomed to the experience. Jenny wasn't sure about that. Even still, she didn't feel settled until she had reached this point. Until the voice spoke to her.
"Traveler," a voice said in the darkness. "Come you seeking peace?" Jennifer nodded in her mind. The voice was so calm, but carried a force that seemed to reverberate through Jennifer's mind. She felt shaken every time she heard it.
"I have come to embrace the truest truth, and the purest thought. I ask that it embrace me." Jennifer had never opened her eyes in this place for fear that she would lose her link with this being that had granted her true rest. And some part of her was afraid of what she would see.
"What you ask for can come only when you liberate your mind. There are still man
y burdens within you. Lay them aside and trust that I will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Lay your burdens on me and I will give you rest." The sensations began to fade down. This being was breaking the connection. He always told her the same thing. Jenny wasn't quite sure how to decipher it. She just knew that what he said was truth. She needed to lay aside her burdens.
"Continue on your path. What you seek is ahead of you," the voice said as Jenny returned to consciousness. Her eyes opened slowly, and she found herself kneeling still on the floor. The candles beside her were nearly gone now, and she found her body stiff and sore. Nothing a little sleep wouldn't cure. Jenny pulled herself up, changed into a pair of pajamas and climbed into bed.
That was new, she thought. The last statement by the voice had been completely new.
Continue on your path. Jenny wondered what that meant.
Ellis Burke sat himself down in the library of the Littlefield campus and tried to get himself lost in another of his obscure books. It wasn't that he felt particularly anti-social this day. Rather, he felt as though once again, his anger had gotten the better of him, and he would need to be away from his classmates and his teacher for a while. And the darkest corner of the Holodrome Archival Library always seemed to be the best place to go.
Ellis had a hard look he had perfected that he used to keep people from talking to him when he didn't want them to. Most people kept their peace when Ellis put on that face. But Ian Sodaro, Rebekah Norik and Marcus Kasidyne didn't seem to care if he wanted to talk or not. Ellis was used to being intimidating. It was a little unsettling knowing that some people didn't care how mean he was. Even his mentor knew not to press if that look came up.
What was immediately puzzling was that Marcus could be so very wise, and at the same time, still hold to the old dogmas of the paladin order. Ellis did not always agree with the stance the Paladins took when it came to dealing with those who broke the law. He always felt that the paladins did not exercise mercy in those cases. But he also knew that despite what experiences he had with other paladins, Marcus was not like the rest of them.
He's just another paladin, Ellis thought. There was nothing special about Marcus Kasidyne. Big guy. Uncommon swordsman. Deep voice. Fair orator. Knowledgeable and slick when it came to presenting his point of view. But many of the paladins around campus were like that. Ellis had always found a way around them and their arguments, catching them in their words, as though the things they believed were founded on foam rubber.
Marcus however, did not falter. He always stood right in place, not backing up nor backing down. Many times, Ellis was the one who felt cornered in arguments with him. Marcus had this verbal way of advancing on people. Ellis could rage and spit all the venom he wanted. Marcus Kasidyne just kept coming forward. And when Ellis saw that, he found himself daring to follow him. The only means of defense he had against Marcus was simple. Don't let him speak at all.
Ellis cracked open the book finally, not wanting to pursue the line of thought he knew he was heading toward. The words had scarcely appeared before him when it became clear that he was not alone. Ellis was gifted in one thing for certain other than a tendency to be rude. He had a keen sense of his surroundings that he used to full advantage. He knew by the smell of the air and the change in the way the sound bounced around the room that someone was standing behind him.
"You gonna stare at my back all day, or are you gonna say something?" Ellis didn't bother to turn. He didn't need to know who it was. And he didn't frankly care. He wanted to be left alone.
"Cecil said you had an uncanny sense about you," Marcus said, folding his arms soberly. Ellis bowed his head a little, rolling his eyes in derision. Figures, he thought.
"And of course, you had to find out just how true that was, right?" Ellis had intended it to sound rude. And it did, rightly so. Marcus did not make any effort to fire a shot back, not wanting to get a fight started just yet. Instead, he sniffed a little and looked at the book over Ellis's shoulder.
"Our Moral Tempest." Ellis slapped the book shut reflexively. "That's not on the approved reading list." After a bit of controlled breathing, Ellis turned to face Marcus. The elder paladin's face was not one of anger or accusation. Rather, Marcus looked a little bemused. He just stood there, almost casually.
"So I don't care for the rules about books on campus." Marcus's face soured only slightly.
“They’re called required reading for a reason. That book has some very . . . unsavory ideas in it.” Ellis snorted at that.
“How would you know?” Marcus smirked inwardly.
“Would it surprise you to know that I’ve read it?” Ellis took a second to wipe the shock from his face. That wasn’t the answer he expected.
"What do you want?" he blurted, trying to get control of the conversation. It was then that Marcus sat himself down at the small table Ellis sat at. “And so he sits. Ask a stupid question . . .” Ellis got an uncomfortable feeling having this man sitting this close to him. He'd heard too many stories about him to feel at ease in his presence.
"What I want is to know why you think I'm a murderer." Ellis leaned back and got a smug look on his face. He'd hit a chord with the statements he'd made in class. He knew there was something to everything he'd heard.
"You scared?" Marcus smirked a little.
“Do I look like the kind of person who scares easily?” Ellis could tell by his posture that he wasn't. Not even close.
"It's true, even though you may not think so, so you can wipe that smug look off your face. I hear things. People tell me things, and I learn what the truth is."
"Or you hear things, and you manufacture a truth that suits your point of view." Ellis blanched at the frankness of the statement. No one had talked to him like that before. Again, Marcus started marching forward. "Mister Burke, I'm not out to press my viewpoint on you. In fact, I believe people should find their point of view by experience rather than taking someone else’s word for it." Ellis folded his arms and put on his hard face. Marcus could see the boy didn't want to talk about all this.
"So why do you follow the rules if you don't believe in them?" Marcus let his eyebrows rise a little. It was an interesting question.
"I never said I didn't believe in the rules. I do believe in the rules Ellis. The Paladin Mandates are important. But they are a guideline only. They can only tell us so much before we have to rely on our own discernment. You have to figure out what the spirit of the law is, so that you can follow the letter of the law properly. And sometimes, there are situations where you have to figure out the answer yourself, because nobody told you what to do." Ellis didn't look like he was buying it. Marcus tried to think of what would be the best way to explain it.
"So that's how you justify murdering a man without trial?" Marcus felt his face darken.
"I didn't kill Noganus Xandra." Ellis looked away. "Who told you I killed him?" Ellis gave his fingernails a cursory glance and tried his best to look bored. "Fine. Believe what you want. I have the truth on my side Ellis."
"HA!" Ellis barked. That got a few shushes from the students sitting at nearby tables. "Are we disturbing you?" he spat sarcastically. All the looks turned away, cowed by Ellis's anger. He turned back to Marcus, his voice a little lower this time. "You wouldn't know the truth if it hit you with a bus," he said in a half whisper. Marcus relaxed himself slightly.
"Where you there Ellis?" Marcus asked simply. "Can you produce any evidence to the contrary? Do you have any witnesses to debate the veracity of my claims?"
“Ooooh. Veracity. A four-syllable word. Real smart guy.” Marcus let his face relax. He was scowling and now was not the best time.
“Insults? The last resort of someone who has no idea what they’re talking about.” Ellis grew silent. “So, where’s your proof?” A moment passed and Ellis said nothing. Marcus nodded a bit. "That's what I thought. Getting the story third and fourth hand is a lousy way to learn things you know."
"I know what happened, Kasidyne,
" Ellis bit out, making sure not to attach any title of respect to Marcus's name.
"You know nothing. All rumor with no basis in fact. Just you, a story and an attitude." Ellis shook his head.
"It's been the shadowy talk of the campus." Marcus grunted.
"Shadowy talk? And you believe that kind of information? Wow Ellis. Real smart guy." Ellis's face darkened as Marcus's levity struck him.
"Everyone knows that you had it in for Noganus. Everyone knows you were looking to shed a little blood to cement your claims at paladin glory. Your first assignment wasn't to go to Meridian City. It was to go to Norik. You found a reasonable excuse and massaged it to make it all work to your advantage. You cornered the man in Horthok and you murdered him." Marcus shook his head in disgust.
"Who's everyone Ellis?" The boy said nothing. "What about the attack on Meridian City? Or the attack by Noganus here in the Holodrome? What about the testimonies on file in Meridian City? All matters of public record." Ellis yawned slightly.
"A thousand people all with no idea what they really saw. You'd base your defense on the voice of a people who were scared out of their wits." Marcus didn't seem to be getting anywhere with this.
"You're a real piece of work. You know that?" Ellis sat back, folding his arms with pride. "I supposed I fabricated all that to . . . quote, cement my claims at paladin glory? That I arranged the siege of Meridian City? Or that I co-opted the paladin council?" Ellis chuckled.
"I don't make this stuff up. You're the self-aggrandizing scuzzball who killed a man in cold blood. And you’ve probably done it before." That tore it. Marcus felt his blood pressure rising. He didn't hesitate.
"How do you justify just saying things like that to people's faces?" Ellis got another smug look. Marcus was starting to sound angry. "I'm going to tell you something, MISTER BURKE. Something a very few people know." Marcus leaned in close. "Noganus Xandra died from his own lusts for power. He tried to kill me, my friends and anyone else who stood in his way. When it all came down, Noganus fell on my blade literally, because Rebekah Norik stopped him from killing me. You can ask Ian. You can ask Rebekah. You can ask anyone you want. But I did not kill him in cold blood, as you seem to think. He threatened my life and the life of my friends and he died in an attempt to carry out his insane ambitions. And those ambitions were long in coming. He'd had it in for me for a long time. The man murdered my father in front of my eyes when I was nine." Ellis waved him off.
The Paladin Archives Book Two The Withering Falseblade Page 8