Resisting Her Ex's Touch

by Amber McKenzie

  “Chloe, Matt and I have an appointment. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m not going anywhere,” Chloe stated flatly. Both men watched as she left the room, closing the door a little too forcefully for it to have been accidental.

  “Have a seat.” Tate gestured to one of the two chairs opposite his large wooden desk and returned to his position behind the desk. He was taking charge and Matt let him. The more in control Tate felt the less likely he was to be defensive and hold things back from him. He had a lot of questions and not all of them were professional.

  “I won’t waste your time or mine, Dr. Reed,” Matt opened, looking at him directly.

  “I appreciate that. Call me Tate.” He returned the challenge in his gaze, and Matt grudgingly respected the man for not backing down.

  “I have thoroughly reviewed the file, as have our medical experts. The unanimous opinion is that Mr. Weber’s condition was not survivable. He would not have survived even with immediate medical attention. My concern is that if this case goes to a jury they will not appropriately focus on that fact.” Matt waited for his reaction.

  “What is it exactly you think will be distracting them?” Tate questioned, examining Matt as intently as he was being examined. Tate was trying to gauge what Matt did and did not know, and in that moment Matt knew he was right about the nature of the relationship between Tate and Kate.

  “Your relationship with Kate Spence,” he responded and then in silence waited for the other man to give him the details he unwillingly craved.

  “I don’t have a relationship with Katherine Spence,” Tate stated coldly.

  Matt recognized the defensiveness in Tate’s tone and decided to change tactics before Tate completely shut down. “Why do you refer to her as Katherine when everyone seems to call her Kate?”

  “Old habit, I guess. The rhyming of Kate and Tate is too nauseating. Either way, it won’t be an issue for much longer.”

  “Why not?” Matt asked, still searching for answers and what Tate was not saying.

  “Katherine, or Kate, will be moving to New York in the summer to start her fellowship in breast oncology and reconstruction.”

  Matt processed the information. He remembered the afternoon he’d found her crying in her apartment. He had never before felt so helpless. It hadn’t been that he had never seen a woman cry—his mother and sister were known for their histrionics—but Kate had been crying from a genuine feeling of pain and not as a means of manipulation. Her career choice made perfect sense and he wondered if it was the one thing she needed to be able to finally make peace with her mother’s death. If it was, he wasn’t going to let anything stand in her way.

  “Is there anything else you would like to tell me about you and Kate?” Matt asked directly, determined to find out the details of their relationship.

  “No,” Tate snapped. This time Matt was sure there was something to tell.

  “Tate, I’m going to be honest with you. With expert medical opinion on our side, the hospital has no intention of settling this lawsuit. Which means that the Webers’ attorneys are going to start digging, if they haven’t already. They are going to talk your friends, nurses, residents, your colleagues, anyone, in the hope of finding something seemingly improper in your and Kate’s actions that night. So if your goal is to protect your privacy, the best way to do that is to tell me exactly what your relationship with Kate Spence is and what happened that night. If you tell me the truth, I can find a way keep this out of court.” Matt seemed to have gotten somewhere with his direct attack, because Tate grimaced and leaned forward in his chair, his arms on his desk. Matt recognized the haunted look in his eyes.

  “Katherine and I had been involved in a personal relationship. It ended six months ago,” Tate stated flatly. Surprising how a statement, which revealed next to nothing and contained what he already knew, still felt like a sucker punch. Once again his feelings towards Tate shifted. Any burgeoning thoughts of liking the man came to an abrupt end and he felt a masochistic need to know more.

  “You are going to need to do better than that,” Matt replied, unable to keep his tone neutral.

  “Fine. Katherine and I had been seeing each for a year and a half,” Tate answered, still barely budging on what Matt needed to know, more personally than professionally.

  “Was it serious?” That was as close as he could get to asking if they had been lovers.

  “For one of us.” Matt didn’t want to hear any more. He had made some very hard decisions years ago with regard to Kate. Decisions he had justified as being the best for her. Now to hear that instead of living the perfect life he had hoped for her, Kate had fallen in love with a man who hadn’t loved her back was a bitter pill to swallow. More so when he thought of the way she had reacted when the two men had been introduced; she still loved Tate even though he didn’t love her.

  Matt studied the man sitting across from him, but then realized, to be honest; he had let Kate go too. So he wasn’t any better, despite his intentions. He then straightened in his chair and began a new resolve to remain professional and get through this meeting before he said or did something he would regret.

  “Six months ago. So the time your relationship ended was the same time of Mr. Weber’s death? If the two events are linked, I need to know.” Matt noticed Tate’s attitude change from adversarial to sad; maybe the man realized what he had given up. Tate’s shoulders had fallen and he no longer looked at Matt. Time passed and Matt thought Tate wasn’t going to answer. Then he heard a deep breath and a less assured voice started.

  “Kate and I broke up the same night Mr. Weber died. We saw each other earlier in the evening and later that same night she was called into the hospital to cover for one of the other senior surgery residents who had to leave with the transplant team. I was on second call for Vascular Surgery.”

  “What was her state of mind?” Matt asked, his worry for Kate, even past Kate, taking precedence.

  “I think you should ask her that,” Tate answered.

  “I’m asking you. I need to know the impression she gave that night.”

  “She had been surprised. She said she hadn’t seen it coming.” He was nodding, as if remembering the evening and confirming to himself how it had been.

  “Then?” More and more this felt like watching a car accident in slow motion when you knew it was not going to end well but you couldn’t look away.

  “She was the most upset I had ever seen her and she left.” Was that regret he heard in Tate’s voice? But before he could examine the thought further, Tate was continuing. “However, when I saw Katherine later in the operating room and throughout all of our medical interactions that night she was one hundred percent professional and composed.”

  So Tate was going to back and defend Kate. That was going to make the case easier to defend, but Matt wondered about what was motivating the gesture. Was it professionalism, honesty, guilt from breaking off their relationship or part of a plan to win her back?

  “Can you explain the time lag between her first attempt to contact you and the response?” Matt asked. Gone was any desire he had to continue this conversation. He actually wanted to leave and get away from the memories of Kate that were filling his mind. Kate with that look of shock and pain filling her eyes. Had she looked the same for Tate?

  “Katherine had been surprised. I honestly don’t think She had expected anything that happened that night. After she left my loft and things started to sink in, she wanted to talk. She called and I told her there was nothing more to discuss. She called a few more times shortly after that and I ignored her calls. A few hours later when she called on my cellphone to discuss Mr. Weber, I didn’t realize her focus had shifted and I again ignored her attempts to talk to me. It wasn’t until the hospital operator contacted me and patched her through that I learned about Mr. Weber.”

  “Does anyone else know the details of that night?”

  “The only close friend Katherine co
nfides in is Chloe Darcy.”

  “So Chloe is a friend of both of yours?” Matt asked, trying to understand what role Chloe Darcy had played.

  “I met Chloe through Katherine. We used to spend time together as part of a social group prior to the breakup.”

  “And now?”

  “She is Katherine’s best friend. Chloe and I have never talked about that night. I’m not sure what Katherine told her, but Chloe would never do or say anything to deliberately hurt Katherine, that I’m sure of.” Matt believed him. Chloe was obviously protective of Kate and he had instinctively liked and trusted her. At least Kate had one person in her life she could depend on.

  “Do you think Kate has any reason to want to hurt you?” Matt pried.

  “I don’t understand your question, Mr. McKayne.”

  “Please, call me Matt. The other day Kate seemed very concerned about you and your well-being. Do you think she will vouch for your actions as clearly as you are for her?”

  “Absolutely. Katherine is nothing if not honest. That night she told me she wanted desperately to be with me, to be in love with me, and I believed her. I don’t think any amount of time will change that.” He didn’t sound arrogant and that disheartened Matt much more than the statement had.

  “I would appreciate it if, when you talk to her, you could spare her the same discussion we have just had. I think the only reason this situation has developed is that the hospital gossip mill put together the timing of our break-up and Mr. Weber’s death. We were both completely professional in our behavior that night and the hospital switchboard reached me within appropriate professional standards.” Tate was ending their conversation and stood from his chair.

  Matt conceded and stood. He paused and studied Tate’s face, but the other man gave nothing away. The meeting had only generated more questions for him than answers. It had confirmed what he already knew, that Kate and Tate had been a couple. For a year and a half Tate had had Kate, and even though they had now broken up, he still had Kate. The fact that, after breaking up with her, Kate was still defending him spoke volumes about the type of man Tate was. He wanted to hate the man but couldn’t, despite the jealousy that was growing inside him.

  The sane part of his mind also recognized that Kate still loved and trusted Tate, and Kate didn’t do either of those things easily. She was introverted and cautious, which made her actions towards Tate even more telling. What would happen when this was done? Would they find their way back to one another? Would Tate realize what he had given up and want her back? He needed to talk to Kate and he couldn’t wait one more day for his answers. The one thing Tate was definitely right about: Kate and Tate was a nauseating combo, and not just the rhyming names.

  It took Kate another ten hours to complete her mental list of tasks. She had worked one of the hardest shifts in her career and she hadn’t cared. She’d wanted to work, to stay busy, to avoid everything, including her own thoughts.

  After going to work an hour early the previous day at five a.m., she had worked through the day, the night and well into the next evening, and it was nine o’clock on Friday night before she was ready to finally leave the building. She was exhausted, and it actually felt a relief to have that as her primary state of mind.

  She yawned as she pulled off her scrubs and pulled on the same jeans and fitted long-sleeved blue shirt she had arrived in the previous day. She pulled her hair out of its ponytail and put her watch on. If she hurried she could force herself to eat something and be asleep by ten. If she slept well she might actually have the focus to study tomorrow and not think about her impending meeting with Matt.

  Kate walked out of the women’s locker room and literally ran into Tate leaving the men’s change room. She bounced off his lean frame and had to grasp the wall for support. She didn’t realize whom she had hit and he looked equally surprised as she caught the moment when he recognized her. “Sorry,” she said awkwardly.

  He reached out to steady her, grasping her forearms and holding her until she regained her balance and straightened. “Katherine. I heard you did well last night.” His tone was genuine, without the anger or hurt she had come to expect. She couldn’t disguise the surprise she felt. For the first time since that night, the tension between them was gone. He wasn’t the warm Tate she had loved, but this was better than it had been, and probably better than she deserved. She blushed, embarrassed by his kindness.

  “Thank you. Your opinion means a lot to me,” she replied shakily. Her exhaustion made it hard to control the feelings of relief and loss she associated with her new and old relationship with Tate.

  “I spoke with our lawyer, Matt McKayne, today.”

  No! her mind screamed as she reached out and grasped the wall for support. She studied his face and saw no signs that he knew about her past with Matt. He would be hurt and disgusted with her if he knew. It was sickening to think about the two men together. For different reasons, she hadn’t been good enough for either of them, and the thought of them discussing that fact was like a hot poker ripping through her chest. They had both been witness to her greatest inadequacies and she would rather die than have either man share their “Kate Spence” story.

  “It’s okay, Katherine. I told him the truth. That you are a professional, competent surgeon and that nothing in your actions that night was negligent. He knew about us, though, and was asking the details of our relationship and breakup.”

  She went from panic, to relief, to anger, to fear within seconds. Matt had no right to ask about her relationship with Tate. He really had no right to ask Tate about her at all. What questions would he have for her? “What did you tell him?” She gulped.

  “As much of the truth as he needed to know, while protecting both of our personal lives and reputations.” She didn’t need to know more. Tate would keep the personal details of their breakup to himself, for his own sake as much as hers.

  “Thank you.”

  He stared at her, his thoughts hidden as he looked at her for an unknown answer. “Goodnight, Katherine. If it’s okay by you I think I’m going to use Kate from here on in, like everyone else.”

  She smiled a little sadly. “I’m just happy you are planning to talk to me.”

  “Good night, Kate.” The conversation was definitely over and Tate walked away. She wondered what had changed for him, but honestly didn’t care what the impetus had been for what felt like the forgiveness she didn’t deserve.

  She walked through the halls of the hospital lost in her thoughts. The overhead fluorescent lights reflected off the linoleum floors as she made her way towards the glass-walled lobby. Her head felt as full as her body felt exhausted. She was grateful that she had put Matt off, even if it was only for a day. She paused at the entryway, threading her arms through the sleeves of her black wool jacket and slowly working the buttons closed to protect her from what appeared to be a cold spring night.

  “Kate.” In what felt like slow motion she turned towards the voice she recognized. Matt was walking towards her. He was dressed in a dark gray suit with a blue tie that matched his eyes perfectly. She felt her breath catch and a flush spread through her, her body recognizing his with appreciation. She reached up and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to tame the mess that had been tied back and stuffed under an operating-room cap all day, then stopped, catching herself in the action. It didn’t matter to Matt how she looked and she no longer cared what he thought, she reminded herself.

  “Matt.” She forced his name out.

  “We need to talk.”

  He looked agitated. If you didn’t know him you wouldn’t be able to tell, but she had known him well and recognized the subtle force in his voice and his rigid posture.

  “Yes, I believe we have a meeting for tomorrow at two.” She didn’t have the energy to play this game. Whatever Matt had come to say to her tonight, he needed to say it and let her go home.

  “I met with Tate Reed today.” The statement reminded her of old legal dramas where the
prosecutor baited his witness into revealing information without even asking a question.

  “Yes, I know. I already talked to Tate. It appears he has already answered many of your questions about the circumstances behind the lawsuit, and other than that we have nothing to talk about.” She tried to sound like her professional, confident self and force out the exhaustion and pain that made her feel unprepared to deal with Matt. He needed to know her boundaries and now was as good a time as any to make it clear what was off-limits for discussion. He didn’t seem pleased with her answer.

  “I don’t care about Tate Reed,” Matt said. Now he was definitely angry. Part of her told herself to walk away, that she wouldn’t win, not against Matt and not when she was this tired. Unfortunately, the same exhaustion allowed her emotions to take over.

  “You seemed to care the other night. You also seemed to care enough when you talked to Tate and asked him questions that are none of your business,” she responded, matching his anger in her tone.

  “Like it or not, Kate, you are my business.” Mistake. She had made a critical mistake in challenging him. Now they were on a path she didn’t want to be on. She didn’t want to talk about them, about their past, yet couldn’t hold back her reaction to his statement or the look in his eyes. He was looking at her with passion and the irony made her want to cry.

  “It has never mattered what I thought or felt, has it?” She was done with being professional as she felt her personal pain seep through. She met his look and saw that she had wounded him, and it didn’t make her feel any better.

  “That’s not true, Kate.” His hands were jammed in his pockets, his shoulders pulled back, his whole stance masculine and set.

  She looked at Matt and briefly remembered the girl she had been and the man she had thought he was. For the second time that night she smiled sadly then regained control of the woman she had become. “I’m not going to do this, Matt.”