by Kate Douglas
Even more worrisome, what was she going to think of his darker side? The desire and passion even he didn’t understand? The needs he felt, even now, with a lovely woman close beside him.
Desire linked to Anton.
Stefan’s shoulders dipped, and he closed his eyes. He would know the answers to all his questions once this long journey ended. He’d contacted the wizard—his mentor, Anton Cheval—and told him he was returning, but nothing more. He’d reached the wizard through a spell of his own making, using the amazing mental link he had with Anton, the same link he shared with Xandi.
He still hadn’t admitted to the woman he loved that their ability to read one another’s minds wasn’t unique. Nor had he told her of the dark desire he felt for Anton. Of the dreams that awakened him night after night with his cock erect and his body wanting another man. Would she still love him, or would she think he was—Hell, even he didn’t know what he was. Man? Beast? Bi? Gay? Straight?
Damn. He was such a fucking coward! For five years now, he’d lived as part man, part beast, tortured by erotic dreams of another man—and so afraid of those dreams, he’d chosen half a life, rather than face the desire he felt for Anton.
Anton. Shit. What was wrong with him? He’d never lusted after a man, never thought of another man sexually. This need, though—this sexual desire—was somehow intrinsic to his very existence, to his nature. How could he explain it to Xandi when he didn’t understand it himself? The dark desire, the sensual need and the overwhelming hate that seemed to coexist with every thought of the man who had been his mentor?
His master?
The man who had cursed him.
He’d told Xandi there would be penalties to pay, punishment to endure, but he hadn’t told her everything. Fear of his own desires, pure and simple, had kept him away from Anton. Those same desires now moved him forward. Stefan felt a growing sense of expectation, a dark, purely sexual need for subjugation, a desire to submit totally to Anton.
He pictured the wizard—darkly handsome, his lean face and amber eyes mesmerizing, intensely intelligent. Thoughts of Anton had haunted his nights for five years now, filling Stefan’s dreams with a combination of carnal longing and murderous intent. Five long years of celibacy, of waking in the dark of night sweating, panting, painfully erect and thinking of Anton, of his elegant hands on Stefan’s body, of his mouth, his cock. Dreams that shamed him, excited him, confused him.
Was that unnatural desire part of the curse that left him half man and half beast, or was it a truth about his nature he’d not known before Anton?
When Xandi entered his life and made love to the beast, she stilled the dreams. Stilled them, but didn’t end them. He shuddered, feeling Xandi close beside him, sensing the wizard up ahead. Would she hate him when she learned the truth? When she discovered a side of him to which he himself still couldn’t admit?
As the car drew closer to Anton’s home, Stefan’s sense of dread grew and expanded. This wasn’t going to be easy, not with Xandi beside him. Since the first time he saw her, he’d loved her, had reveled in their sexual and mental compatibility. She made him more powerful, more male. More in control.
Was he about to lose all of that to Anton? Would he lose Xandi as well? He swallowed and felt the muscles in his throat constrict, as if someone were choking him, cutting off his air.
I can do this. I will beg his favor and submit. I have to.
I want to.
Oh, God, how I want this.
It went against his nature, against everything that defined him.
A dark thrill coursed through his body. His cock swelled against the restricting fabric of his slacks. No. What defines me has changed. I have changed. Xandi loves me as I am. Her love empowers me. Yet Anton’s love draws me. Must I lose one to gain the other?
Must I lose who I am now to regain my humanity?
He took a deep, steadying breath. Held it. Let it out and felt his shoulders relax.
Sighing, he took Xandi’s cold fingers in his and held her hand tightly against his thigh. Afraid, anxious, expectant. Confused. But not alone. No longer alone.
Xandi remained quiet as the car followed the twisted road to the wizard Anton’s home. High in the mountains of Montana, the location was a mere X on the map Stefan had found on his breakfast table this morning.
Neither of them had any idea how Anton had gotten the map and instructions into Stefan’s home. The simple sheet of handwritten directions and the map, placed discreetly next to the salt and pepper shakers, had merely hinted at the wizard’s power.
Stefan was his usual silent self, but Xandi sensed conflicting emotions roiling beneath his outwardly composed exterior. Relaxed he might appear, but she knew he was as tense as a well-strung bow. She sensed his raw power tempered by an underlying hint of fear. He reached over and took her hand, squeezed her fingers, then held them against his thigh.
She sighed and moved closer to him. He might not say anything, but she knew he needed her, for companionship, if for nothing else. Why did he seem so conflicted? Something else bothered him, something she couldn’t quite sense. She squeezed his hand and settled close against his side.
Xandi was still contemplating his moods when they pulled into the drive of the wizard’s home. Palatial in design, the house managed to look as if it had been hewn from the very trees and mountains that protected it, as if the rock had grown out of the earth, not been laid by the hand of man.
She felt Stefan’s resolve strengthen as the car rolled silently to a stop. He straightened his shoulders and lifted his chin, then nodded with an almost regal bearing when the driver opened the door for them. An old servant in a faded blue robe met them at the top of the broad staircase leading to a large, intricately carved wooden door. He bowed and stepped aside, leaning heavily on a carved staff. With a terse nod, he invited them in.
Stefan strode through the door like a man on a mission. Xandi followed quietly, curious at Stefan’s unexpected show of bravado. He’d been almost humble when he’d cast the spell to contact Anton the night before. Humble and penitent, as if well aware of the pain his arrogance had brought him.
Xandi realized she preferred that side of him. This attitude, as if he were looking for a battle, put her off, unsettled her.
The old man abruptly appeared just ahead of them, blocking their path. His voice trembled as if with palsy, his hand on the head of the staff shook. “Stefan Aragat. You seek the wizard. Why?”
Stefan drew himself up, standing straight and proud, glaring down his long, lupine nose at the old man. “You can look at me and ask that? I want him to return me to my human form.”
“Ah. I see.” The old man moved closer to Stefan. He tilted his head and looked up, frowning. “Do you truly regret your hubris? Do you accept your blame for his actions? Do you understand humility? That is the lesson he wished to teach.”
“Of course I do, but I wish to discuss this matter with Anton, old man. Not with his servant.”
Xandi drew away from Stefan. She shivered from a sudden chill, and her gaze shifted nervously from the proud tilt of Stefan’s head to the answering gleam in the old man’s eyes. She backed against the wall, sensed a building power within the room, an aura of shifting light and darkness. Didn’t Stefan feel it? How could he be oblivious to the anger, the darkness, the seething cloud settling all around them?
Then she saw it, the slight curl to Stefan’s lip, half smile, half snarl, the same expression on the old man’s face as he nodded in understanding.
Suddenly it all came clear to Xandi. Stefan challenged the old man! He wanted a fight. What the hell was he doing?
Stefan recognized his mistake the second the words left his mouth. He’d stormed in here all full of bullshit and bluster, his heart pounding in his chest, his passions running high and hot. Wrong. So damned wrong he wasn’t even close to right. He needed to get the hell out of here, now, not force the issue while Xandi stood beside him. What the hell was he thinking? He turned and reache
d for her, but a voice filled the room, reverberated within the walls, bounced off the high ceiling and left his sensitive wolf’s ears ringing.
Stefan spun around. The old man held his staff high. Power flashed in a sparkling aura around his body. There was no weakness in him now.
Of course! Stefan had wondered if the old man was Anton. He had his proof now. Wasn’t this exactly what he’d wanted? At least what one side of him wanted. Stefan blinked, recognizing his desires for what they were, finally understanding how powerful his needs had become.
“Have you learned so little, Stefan Aragat? Have the last five years taught you nothing? I had hoped better of you. You truly are an arrogant bastard.”
The extent of his error struck home with the precision of a radio-controlled missile. Oh, shit. He never should have pushed Anton with Xandi here. He barely had time to raise his hands in apology—the shift was instantaneous. One moment he faced an angry old man in a faded blue robe, the next he cowered beneath the snapping fangs of a ferocious black wolf. Before he had time to react, the wolf caught Stefan’s shoulder between powerful jaws, twisted his body and bore him to the ground. Stefan landed face down, hard, the air rushing from his lungs in a powerful gust, leaving him dazed and disoriented.
Snarling and snapping, the wolf caught his shirt and ripped it away from his back, clawing at Stefan’s flesh, rending it with his sharp claws. Stefan’s pants went next, stripped from his writhing body as he fought desperately to stop the vicious, snarling attack.
Abruptly, he stilled beneath the wolf as understanding slammed into him. This was exactly what he’d wanted all along. Not merely to submit, but to be forced to submit, forced to take the punishment due him. Being forced absolved him, allowed him to exorcise the wizard from his mind, the dark desires from his dreams, without admitting his acceptance.
Xandi screamed. The sound cut off sharply in mid-howl. Frantic, Stefan twisted his body and saw her, unexplainably naked, caught against the far wall as if by invisible shackles, her arms raised, her legs spread wide, her mouth open in shock and fear.
Xandi! He must protect her. Now was not the time to deal with conflicted passions and dark dreams. Stefan twisted beneath the wolf, turned and snapped his own jaws, reached for a handhold on the thick fur. Each grasp was torn loose, each twist left him more at the mercy of the beast. Suddenly Stefan felt a sharp probing between his legs. Something hot and wet jabbed his balls, the soft flesh near his anus.
He’d expected this, feared it, wanted it, but not now, not like this, not with Xandi watching.
Not with a wolf!
Desperate, he twisted harder, writhed and jerked in a frantic attempt to shake his attacker loose. But a heavy paw forced his head to the ground, another, claws extended, raked his back and thighs, and he felt the screaming agony of penetration, felt the creature’s thick cock forcing entrance.
“No! You bastard! No!” Snarling, snapping impotently, he fought the more powerful wolf, his hips twisting and turning to shove the beast off, but the creature thrust harder, his thick cock stretching and tearing his flesh to find entrance. Burning, stabbing pain took his breath, forced the air from his lungs. Gasping, twisting impotently, his actions only drove the creature’s huge cock deeper into his virgin ass. He threw his head back in an agonizing cry…
…and looked directly into Xandi’s gray eyes. Caught there, her gorgeous body held against the wall by invisible bonds, her eyes wide, her lips parted.
The creature slammed against his buttocks, and Stefan felt the agonizing length of the wolf’s cock piercing deep and hard, the pulsing inside his own body as tissues and muscles adjusted, accepted.
He bowed his head, his shame complete. Xandi would watch his subjugation, stand witness to his weakness. Stefan ceased his struggle in a tacit admission of defeat. He should never have fought this, should have knelt and accepted what was his due…what he’d desired all along. He dipped his head farther, closed his eyes, as sharp claws caught his naked hips, as the creature behind him pressed home with short, jabbing thrusts, until his huge cock found its home, deep within Stefan’s body.
Suddenly, the beast went still. Stefan felt almost preternaturally aware of the solid cock pulsing hot and hard inside his ass, of his bare knees resting on the thick carpet, his trembling arms supporting his own weight as well as that of the wolf. He held his breath, afraid to move, afraid to bring back the agonizing pain, just now beginning to subside.
He took long, slow breaths through flared nostrils, controlling the expansion of his lungs. As his body shifted and adjusted to the intruder, a familiar warmth suffused his skin, heated his loins. He felt the first stirrings of desire, fought the impulse to spread his legs wider, to welcome the cock deeper, to press his hips closer.
Shamed, humiliated beyond belief, Stefan fought the all-too-familiar hot arousal pulsing through his blood, the ache in his balls as his cock rose, stretched, engorged, in response to the unfamiliar fullness of a thick cock penetrating his ass. The creature withdrew slowly, pulling back so the head of his penis teased the tight ring of muscle, then carefully slipped back inside, pressing hard and deep. The wolf found a slow and steady rhythm, sliding in and out, deeper with each careful thrust, intended now to arouse, not to punish.
Shamed, betrayed by his own body, Stefan recoiled as the creature’s testicles brushed against his own, a stark reminder of his position beneath the more powerful male. His mind roiled with memories, thoughts of pride and arrogance, of fear and desire, all brought down to this, to the steady thrust and grind of a hard cock filling his ass, of hot breath against his back, all while Xandi watched. He wanted to weep for the shame, but at the same time, his body reacted, adjusted, accepted…submitted.
Memories of dreams filled his head, dreams so much a part of his nights these past five years, he’d learned to welcome them. Dreams of Anton and the passion he’d felt for the man, the admiration for his mentor, the hatred. So many conflicting emotions, swirling now, filling his head, his heart.
Sharp claws scraped Stefan’s sides. The cock drove deeper, each powerful thrust threatening to topple him forward, a further reminder of the other’s strength. A reminder of his own responsibility, of his own failings. Would Xandi still see him as a man? Would she want him after this?
Will it even matter?
Mastered by the stronger wolf, Stefan bowed his head in complete submission. He adjusted his stance, holding steady against the powerful assault.
Then it was a man taking him, a man’s muscular thighs pressed against his, a man’s belly rubbing against his buttocks. He wanted to feel revulsion, to experience disgust, but his own cock grew harder, stronger, his own body reacted as it found a rhythm to match Anton’s. Moaning, more aroused than he could ever remember, Stefan shuddered beneath the steady thrusts, no longer able to deny his nature or the passion clouding his mind.
He raised his head. Xandi watched him, her eyes wide, lips parted, hands trapped against the walls, her naked breasts rising and falling with each labored breath, her nipples pointing at him, proudly erect. A suspicious glistening shimmered now between her legs, dampness clumped the reddish pubic hair covering her mons. No! It couldn’t be…she wouldn’t…but she was aroused, deeply aroused, as aroused as he was, a participant, not merely a witness to his shame.
Stefan shuddered. He should feel betrayed, shouldn’t he? Betrayed by the woman who found his humiliation exciting.
He should, but he wasn’t. His gaze locked with Xandi’s, his mind a confused and twisted mass of sensation, of lust and passion, of humiliation and pain. And he realized she was there, her own thoughts twisting with his, struggling to understand the myriad sensations, the emotions and passions that engulfed him.
She experienced this act with him! He was aroused, and she knew it, felt it, reveled in it. He shook his head, looked back at her, felt her grow stronger in his mind, the link they’d discovered during lovemaking building now, filling his thoughts, feeding his passion. The cock plunging
deep within his bowels no longer burned with each stabbing thrust. Now it caught him in a dark, carnal rhythm, a rhythm that seemed to take on the beat of his heart, the rush of blood through his veins, a rhythm he shared with Xandi. A rhythm he knew deep in his heart, knew in his body as well as his mind.
He knew! Somehow his body knew this act, understood the deep bonding between males of his kind, comprehended the role Xandi played in who he was, what he was yet to become. Making him accept, welcome, know this was the Master’s way. It was the only way that Stefan might learn and understand.
Anton was there, his thoughts mingling with Stefan’s, sharing his knowledge, his understanding, answering more questions than Stefan knew to ask. So many lessons. So much to understand. So many unknowns, all tied to the Master imposing his will on Stefan, imposing his will in the way of their kind. A great glow seemed to surround them, a glow that grew out of the tableau of watching, sharing woman, subjugated male and alpha wolf. Finally Stefan knew and understood. He spread his knees wider, braced his hips to meet Anton’s deep, penetrating thrusts. Eyes still focused on Xandi, shoulders straining to hold himself steady, he welcomed the man’s cock into his now-willing body, welcomed the subjugation, welcomed both Xandi and Anton in his mind.
A hand grasped his swollen cock. Strong, masculine fingers encircled his sensitive flesh, stroked him in fierce counterpoint to each stabbing penetration. The other hand stroked his flank, then grasped his testicles, so that he was totally governed by his Master, completely under Anton’s control.
Flexing his shoulders, Stefan strengthened the mental link with Anton, felt the deep love and admiration of the other man, the passion as well as the need and confusion in the woman. He felt the first contraction in his balls, the tightening of his muscles, the huge knot growing in his wolf’s penis as his orgasm slammed into him.
Anton’s hand closed tightly around his cock just behind the knot. His other clamped down on Stefan’s balls, squeezing him to the point of exquisite pain. Arching his back, he felt the hard pulse of the wizard’s climax, the hot seed filling him, the fast, hard thrusts as Anton mastered him. Shuddering through his own climax, shaking with his release, arms trembling with passion spent, Stefan collapsed.