by Kate Douglas
Keisha passed her a small hand mirror. “It really does look good on you. Wish there was a way to make it hold through a shift, but it all pops right out. All that work and poof! You end up tripping over a scattered bunch of beads!”
Alexandria turned to Anton. “You haven’t said anything. What’s your opinion, oh exalted leader?”
Anton cast her a sideways glance. “Exalted leader’? Moi? I understood you were the alpha bitch in this pack.”
Alexandria snorted. “Yeah, right. C’mon. What do you think?”
“I think Keisha’s an artist. You look absolutely beautiful.” He trailed his hand over the tight row of perfect braids sweeping back from her forehead. “You look just like a red-headed Bo Derek. Remember her in that old movie 10?”
“Oh, yeah.” Stefan nodded. “Now if she were wearing that same skimpy little bikini…”
“You see me naked all the time. What good’s the bikini?”
“I enjoy unwrapping the package.” Stefan moved closer and tilted his head just enough to catch Alexandria’s lips with his. She practically melted against him, all teasing suddenly lost in the lush sharing of lips and tongue.
Anton looked over the two of them at Keisha. The laughter had disappeared from her face, and her body trembled. Sending a subtle block to Stefan and Alexandria, Anton reached around them to lightly grasp Keisha’s hand and lead her from the kitchen.
He closed the door softly behind them and grabbed her when she burst into tears.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, sobbing against his chest. “I don’t mean to be that way. I don’t.”
Lightly stroking her back, Anton smiled against her hair and silently reveled in the tight clasp of her arms around his waist. She had no idea how far she’d come. No idea at all.
“Sweetheart, don’t cry.” He kissed her tousled hair. When she raised her head, he used his thumbs to wipe the tears from beneath her eyes. “Look at me and think of what just happened. You’ve spent almost three hours braiding Alexandria’s hair. Touching her, being close to her. Right now your arms are around my waist. You’re holding onto me for comfort.”
She nodded, but she didn’t pull away. Another positive step.
“Are you afraid of me embracing you like this?”
Almost shyly she shook her head.
“That’s because you trust me. I think what just happened in there—when you saw them kiss—I think your body reacted to the inherent sensuality, and it frightened you. Does that make sense?”
“Of course it does.” Pushing away from his embrace, Keisha stomped across the room, whirled around and stalked back to him. “Everything you say makes sense, dammit. It still doesn’t keep me from freaking out every time I see you guys kiss. Every time you crawl into bed with them, and you guys make love, I want to be there so bad it hurts, but I lose it. I’ve stood in the doorway and felt my heart pound and my pussy practically weep from wanting to be with all of you, and I still fall apart!”
“It’s going to take time.”
“I’m tired of waiting.” She flipped her hand beside her face, opened her mouth, then shut it. “I want to do more than just hug, more than sleep in your arms as if you were my big brother. I want to fuck. I want to enjoy sex again, not run away when things start to get hot. I can’t keep playing the voyeur, getting my rocks off in your heads when the three of you screw. I can’t go to a therapist. Counseling won’t work when I can’t say what’s going on.”
She glared at him, as if her condition were all his fault. “I can just hear myself now. ‘Oh, it’s a bit confusing, doctor. I’m not really human. I’m actually a shape-shifting Chanku. And I really, really want to screw my pack mates, but the silly little rape thing keeps getting in my way.’ Anton…” She practically wailed when she asked, “What can I do to get past this?”
Once again Anton wished he had been the one to kill the bastards who did this to her. Choking back a low, angry growl, he spread his arms wide. Keisha threw her body against his, taking his comfort, taking his love. Avoiding the attraction that was tearing him apart.
He held her while she cried. Murmured words of love, kissed her dark hair and fought his own tears of utter and profound frustration. At times like this it was all he could do to keep from going uninvited into her head and tweaking her memories, changing her past, in order to help her accept her present.
Unacceptable. Even so, there had to be something he could do to help her. She’d been here for three weeks now. Her body had healed. Her sense of humor blossomed. Her ability to touch and be touched was returning.
Yet the only way she’d been able to accept the sexual nature of their relationship was through a mind link with Alexandria. Joining mentally with the other woman, experiencing the sensual touch, the deeply intimate acts, the three of them shared, not as an actual participant, but as a mental voyeur.
Maybe…maybe Alexandria was the key.
My love, do you ever feel sexually drawn to Alexandria?
Xandi? Keisha lifted her tear-streaked face away from his chest and frowned. I guess I never thought about her in that way. She’s beautiful. I love being in her head when you guys are all together in bed, love the feel of sharing your bodies. I just wish I didn’t lose it when I’m in the same room with you!
“What if you were in control? What if it was just you and Alexandria, alone together? What if the two of you made love? Would you find that at all appealing? She’s not male, not a threat. She loves you as much as Stefan and I do. She is a gentle, caring lover, filled with compassion as well as passion. As Chanku, you should find her as sexually appealing as you would any male.”
He allowed the sentence to linger. Holding Keisha in a loose embrace, he watched the thoughts unfolding in her brilliant amber eyes.
Xandi? Blinking owlishly, Keisha opened her mind to the idea of sex with another woman. Obviously she’d never thought of herself as lesbian, though she’d often noticed women who she felt were sexually attractive. It wasn’t as farfetched as it sounded, not really. Xandi was beautiful, sensual…
With her mind linked to Xandi’s, Keisha had been more intimate with this woman than she had with any other human alive. She’d participated in group sex, enjoyed the other woman’s responses and made them her own. There’d never been a feeling of wrongness, never a sense of shame.
How could she feel shame with someone as loving, as giving, as Alexandria Olanet? And if what Anton said were true, that the Chanku were polyamorous by genetics, they saw sex as a way of showing their love for the pack, then her feelings for another woman within the pack were right and normal.
How come she hadn’t thought of this before?
Ah, but you have. I know you’ve pleasured yourself during the links with Alexandria.
You do? Struggling out of his light grasp, Keisha glared at Anton. “You snooped!”
He laughed softly and brushed his hand over her hair. Damned if she didn’t lean into his touch! Jerking herself upright, away from the magnetic pull of his fingers, Keisha took a deep breath, prepared to tell him exactly what she thought of him coming uninvited into her head.
“Yes, I was snooping,” Anton said quickly. “I’ve been worried about you, afraid you were withdrawing from us. When I realized you were finding sexual satisfaction in the privacy of your room, I was not so worried anymore.”
He cupped her chin in his big hands, his fingers warm and firm. “I want you healed, my love. I want you able to come to me, to share your body with me. Someday to share with all of us, with Stefan and Alexandria as well, so that there are four of us together, four of us as intimate as any two people can be. I want you to love me, to love them. Most of all I want you as my mate, as the one who will bear my children. I want you with me, for all my life. Before that can happen, you must be whole, a complete woman, without fear.”
The breath whooshed out of her lungs. Anton’s hands trembled against her face, and his jaw was tightly clenched. She’d had no idea—none at all—of how much of
a future he envisioned, how deep his feelings ran.
What of hers for him? Blinking back tears, she reached up and touched the side of his face with her palm. “Give me time, Anton. Just a little more time. I want to say I love you, but not until I can come to you with a body and mind free of fear.”
The disappointment in his eyes made her wish she could draw her cowardly words back. He merely nodded, leaned over and kissed her gently on the forehead, then turned and left the room.
Keisha felt as if he took the sunshine with him, took the air she needed to breathe, the love she needed to exist. Stumbling in her haste to leave this suddenly cold and dreary place, she raced down the long hallway to her bedroom.
Chapter 17
Oliver brought her meals, a silent visitor, warning of his presence with a soft tap on the door. She felt so foolish, hiding away like this, but Keisha realized she’d put the day to good use.
Xandi had been always in her thoughts. A silent, sensual image. Keisha found herself thinking about things in connection with the other woman she’d never imagined, thinking about things sexual, thinking about wanting to touch herself.
More important, she realized she wanted to touch Xandi.
The sun had begun to set. It was time to shift, time to join Xandi and the men for their run through the forest. Time to lose herself in the mentality of the pack, to hunt as one, to merge her consciousness, for a while anyway, with something primitive and wild.
She wasn’t ready. Didn’t want to bare herself to the others. Not now. Not when she still felt fragile, unsure.
A soft tap at her door brought Keisha out of her musings. She wasn’t at all hungry, but it must be Oliver with an evening snack.
“Come in.” She scooted up in her bed, resting against the pillows.
Xandi opened the door. “It’s me,” she said. “The guys have gone. I…I didn’t want to mess up my braids. I decided not to shift tonight.”
Keisha laughed. Suddenly everything seemed to come together. “Braids, hell. Anton told you to seduce me, didn’t he?”
At least Xandi had the good grace to blush. “Well…okay. Yeah. But I brought wine!” She held the bottle aloft as she closed the door behind her.
“Been there, done that, bought the farm.” Keisha sat straighter against the pillows. “The first time I got laid, he got me good and drunk. Knew I’d do anything. Of course I wanted to do anything…everything. I was sixteen. What did I know?”
“A hell of a lot less than you know now.” Xandi walked into the room, sat on the chair by the bed and set out two crystal goblets. She carefully uncorked the bottle and poured the chilled Chardonnay into each glass.
“I’d like to make a toast to you, but instead I’ll toast to us. Will you drink?”
Keisha stared at her a moment before taking the offered glass. “I’ll do more than drink. I’ve thought of you all day. First, though, tell me what Anton said to you. Believe me, that’s a conversation I wish I’d heard.”
“He said only what I hoped he’d say. I’ve wanted you ever since we shared a link, Keisha. I won’t lie to you—I’ve never been with a woman. But I’ve dreamed of making love with you almost since the beginning.”
Taken aback, Keisha stared at Xandi, looking for any sense of deception. “I find that—”
“Honest Injun,” Xandi interrupted. She held her hand over her heart. “I felt weird about it at first, believe me.” She dipped her chin and blushed. “Especially when I actually fantasized it was you one time when Stefan was going down on me.”
“Chanku?” Keisha barely breathed the word.
“Yes…and no. I’m sure it’s the reason why I’m equally attracted to a woman as I am to men. I liked you immediately, the first time I saw you. As I’ve gotten to know you, I’ve grown to love you. Love your strength, your resilience, your ability to accept the unacceptable. I’ve wanted to be more like you, wanted to touch you. At the same time, I knew you weren’t ready. I think you’re ready now. I think you want to explore as much as I do.”
She did, as much to satisfy her curiosity as anything else. At least that’s what she told herself. Holding the filled goblet in both her hands, Keisha tipped the glass and drank deeply. When she’d emptied her glass, she held it out to Xandi for a refill.
“I know there’s an inhibition left in there somewhere. One more glass should put that baby to sleep.”
Xandi snorted. Then she carefully poured the golden liquid, filling the goblet one more time. She refilled her own, set the bottle down and held her glass out to Keisha.
Keisha lightly tapped her glass to Xandi’s in a toast. “Here’s to us, sister.”
“To us. To exploring new territory.” Xandi took a sip of the wine. Her gray eyes sparkled over the rim of the glass. When she set the half-empty goblet down, her tongue swept across her upper lip.
Evening shadows filled the room. The women stared silently at one another. Keisha realized she was fantasizing, imagining what each of them could do to please the other. The images—graphic images of their bodies together—filled her thoughts. Lush and sensual, the sweet eroticism of her fantasies gave Keisha the feeling they truly were about to explore new territory.
As the room darkened, she became more aware of the sound of their hearts beating, of Xandi’s familiar scent, the soft sound of her breathing, the gentle clatter of the beads she’d braided into Xandi’s long hair. The beads clicked together with every move Xandi made, no matter how slight.
Suddenly Keisha realized the sound had moved closer.
Xandi now sat beside her on the large bed. Close, not touching, yet Keisha felt the warmth of her body, imagined their bodies together, soft and sensitive in the same places.
Keisha set her goblet down on the bedside table, only marginally aware it was once again empty. Xandi drank her last swallow of wine, setting her goblet down again as well. Slowly she turned to Keisha. She slipped her hand under the soft cotton tank top, following each of Keisha’s ribs, stroking softly until her fingers rested beneath her breast.
Keisha inhaled sharply as one of Xandi’s fingers found her suddenly erect nipple. Moisture pooled between her legs when Xandi simply rubbed her fingertip gently back and forth, bringing her nipple to a tight, taut, sensitive peak.
The room darkened, yet Keisha’s enhanced Chanku vision threw everything into sharp relief as she slowly wrapped her fingers around the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her head.
Xandi never altered the soft caress of her nipple, but now that both breasts were free of the cotton shirt, she leaned closer to Keisha and licked the very tip of the other one.
The tiny beads at the ends of her hair tickled the round swell of Keisha’s breast. The soft clicking sounds they made as Xandi’s head moved across her chest echoed in the room. Her tongue was hot and moist, licking just the very tip of Keisha’s tightly puckered nipple.
Once more Keisha forgot to breathe. She sat rigidly, leaning back with her legs crossed Indian fashion, supporting herself with her hands tightly fisted in the blankets, as Xandi licked her nipple once more, then slowly sucked it between her lips and pulled it into her mouth.
“Ahhhh…” Keisha tilted her head back and thrust her breasts forward. Xandi sucked harder, using her tongue and teeth, nibbling and suckling, while her hand continued its soft caress of Keisha’s other nipple.
The beads tickled, clicked, tickled more.
Neither woman shared her thoughts. Keisha wasn’t ready for such intimacy, didn’t want to know what Xandi was thinking, only wanted to experience her own pleasure, selfish as that might be.
Trembling, she lay back against the pillows and spread her legs wide, making room for Xandi between her thighs. Xandi went with her, slowly pleasuring Keisha’s breasts with lips and tongue and teeth, with soft fingers and the warm palm of her hand. The beads felt like more tiny fingers, touching, teasing, slowly warming to the heat of Keisha’s body.
After long moments, Xandi slowly released Keisha’s nipple,
breaking the strong suction with a soft pop. She licked the moist tip, blowing cool air across it, then kissed her way down, along Keisha’s ribs, slipping her loose sweatpants off over her hips when she reached the waistband with her mouth.
The tiny beads rolled and clattered, crawling behind Xandi’s mouth, following like an army of little mouths, as she kissed and licked slowly across Keisha’s flesh.
Keisha arched her hips and felt the cool night air against her wet pussy and puckered nipples. Felt Xandi’s lips and tongue trailing the soft skin beneath her navel, a sharp nip on her inner thigh, the sweep of a warm tongue along the crease where thigh met groin.
Heard the beads, felt one brush against her clit, another rest for a moment in the indentation of her navel, others skitter across her thighs, between her legs.
Suddenly the direction Xandi’s mouth was taking coalesced in a white-hot flash of understanding and desire.
You don’t want to…can’t possibly want to…oh, Lord, woman!
Oh, but I do.
Keisha raised her head and looked down. Xandi knelt between her legs. Her eyes glittered, the shiny beads swinging slightly with each breath she took, mesmerizing, hypnotic. Keisha had never realized before how those beads would feel against a body, how they’d stimulate and entice.
Somehow Xandi had removed her sarong, and her naked body gleamed in the darkness, her full breasts with their dark nipples swaying as she leaned forward and once more licked the sensitive bit of flesh on Keisha’s inner thigh.
The beads tickled…clattered and clicked. The sound somehow caught the rhythm of Xandi’s lips, emphasized each nip and lick.
Xandi slipped her hands beneath Keisha’s rear and lifted her, then tucked a fat pillow under her hips to hold them up. She lightly patted Keisha’s flat belly, ending the pat with a long, slow stroke down between her legs, completely bypassing her clit.
Groaning, Keisha raised her hips in blatant invitation. Damn, she’d never felt so turned on, wondering what might come next, wondering just how far Xandi planned to take this. With a guy you knew, you’d get the perfunctory lick between the legs, then a good, hard poke with a thick cock. Not that she’d complained. But this was so weird, knowing the person kneeling between your thighs knew exactly what parts to touch, what buttons to push.