“Not if I see you first.”
KARTER. I’d used the microfiche machine at the library many times. I had tried to find out about my father when I was young by reading old newspapers on it in the library. Potwin, Kansas has no newspaper, and the news in Potwin wasn’t of much interest to the people in Wichita, so there was nothing for me to find out about my mother or really anything regarding the small town I was from.
As I frantically searched though the film, I came across the June 6th newspaper and found nothing. It was a Sunday. As I moved to the film to the next day, the front page of the Local/State section stopped me from looking any further. A photo of the scene of the accident sent chills down my spine.
Two police officers stood beside a truck. The photo was of the old Kellogg Avenue. One officer stood in front of the truck and one beside it. The caption above the photo read Drunken Driver Drags Man to His Death. It wasn’t the caption that caught my attention, it was the truck in the photo.
It was Jak’s truck.
Holy mother of all things sacred.
Jak was still driving his father’s truck. He had told me he used to drive the same truck in high school. Although he never spoke of his father, I knew he had died when Jak was young. His mother described how much she loved him, and Jak explained how he grew up without a father, but I never knew what happened for sure. And Jak never offered. Now I knew.
Bill killed Jak’s father.
I sat at the machine and cried. I cried for Jak, for his mother, and for Bill. The thought of something happening so quickly, and how it could change the lives of so many people became very heavy in my chest. I sat and stared at the article on the screen blankly, not even caring to read any further.
As I wiped the tears from my eyes, I realized although I had solved a mystery of sorts about Jak’s childhood, his past, and the death of his father, I could never share my findings with Jak. Keeping a secret from him wasn’t something I really wanted to do, and even lying about my mother made me extremely uncomfortable. After much consideration and thought, I decided some things need to be kept secret to prevent further harm to those the secrets are kept from. When Jak was ready to tell me, he would. If he didn’t, I’d take this knowledge with me to my grave.
Without removing the film from the machine, I stood and wiped my eyes. I left the light switch turned on and the article about Jak’s father’s death on the screen of the monitor. As I walked away, I did so with hope. Hope someone else would read the article and gain from it. If one drunken person took a taxi home instead of driving as a result of reading the article, the world would be a better place.
A much better place.
JAK. I sat across the table from the most beautiful woman in the world. As she picked her teeth with blade of her knife, I further realized just how extraordinary she truly was. If she were anything but one of a kind, she surely wouldn’t fill all of what was broken within me with such precision. Karter was placed on this earth to make me whole. I further believed I provided her with the same satisfaction. As I admired her eye color choice for the day, she looked at the tip of her knife with disgust. A small piece of what appeared to be chicken hung from the blade. After wiping it on her jeans, she leaned into the center of the table.
“You ride like a pussy,” Karter whispered.
I heard her clearly, but chose responded as if I had not.
“Say again?”
“Say again,” she repeated in a mocking tone.
“I crossed my arms and tilted my chin upward, “What did you say.”
“I said you ride like a pussy. And you still have a long fucking ways to go to be a biker, new beard or not. Oh, and your ears are getting weak, old man,” she half shouted.
It seemed as if the entire rear portion of the restaurant turned around to see what the commotion was about. I lowered my chin and wrinkled my nose, “Old?”
I raised my hand to my chin and rubbed the four days growth of what was to be a new beard, “Pussy?”
“I knew you heard me,” she said as she pushed her plate to the side and burped.
“Through these old ears?” I shrugged.
“Mmmmhhhhm,” she mumbled.
“You’re pushing your luck,” I assured her.
“Oh really? What are you going to do? Punish me? By fucking me? Please Jak, please. I hate fucking you. Don’t fuck me Jak. Please no. Not the sex. Anything but the sex,” she said in a high pitched voice.
“That’s it,” I said as I slapped the table.
“You want me to bend over?” she asked.
I smiled at the thought of it. Karter was by all means the best thing to ever happen to me. She allowed me to understand just how simple living life could be - with the right person. I hadn’t even attempted to imagine a life without her for some time; only what our future could and would bring us. Karter had taken me from wallowing in the guilt associated with war and breathed life into my lungs. I yearned for the arrival of June and our ability to officially be man and wife.
“As a matter of fact, I do. Get your ass in the bathroom. I’ll be right behind you,” I stood from my chair and removed my wallet.
“Seriously? The bathroom?” she squeaked as she pointed her finger over her shoulder and to the rear of the restaurant.
I cleared my throat and pointed to the bathroom, “Now, Karter. Go!”
She lowered her head, stood, and walked toward the bathroom. I dropped a fifty dollar bill on the table and covered it with my glass. I looked up and watched as Karter walked toward the hallway which led to the bathroom. As she walked with her shoulders slumped, I felt bad for acting stern. Surely she realized I was joking. As she entered the hallway, and was away from the view of the restaurant, she turned to face me and removed her shirt and bra. Now twirling them above her head, she took off in a dead run to the bathroom.
I shook my head and walked toward the bathroom. As I knocked on the door, she answered from the other side.
“Who is it?”
“Let me in,” I said softly.
“Sorry, it’s occupied.”
I scanned the empty hallway. I beat my hand against the door sharply, “Open the door.”
“Sorry, it’s occupied,” she said in an elevated tone.
I beat against the door with my clenched fist, “Karter, open the damned door.”
She opened the door. Naked, except for her sneakers, she stood on the other side of the door.
“Oh, I thought you were someone else. Well, hurry up before someone sees me,” she said as she waved her hand toward the large bathroom.
I stepped inside the door and locked it behind me. Her clothes were neatly folded on the sink. I reached toward the towel dispenser and smacked it sharply with the back of my fist. The hinged cover immediately fell open. I removed the towels, looked at Karter, and dropped them into the toilet.
“What the fuck was that about?” she whispered.
I flushed the toilet three times. Finally, the towels disappeared into the swirling water.
“Get on your knees,” I demanded.
She smiled and lowered herself to her knees, “Oh, you going to face fuck me? Utter torture.”
She closed her eyes and opened her mouth. Seeing her naked with her sneakers on was a huge turn on. I unzipped my jeans and pushed them to mid-thigh. As I positioned my cock onto her lips, she eagerly began to lick the shaft and suck the tip.
As she slurped and sucked, I pushed her to the wall between the sink and the trash receptacle. She opened her eyes and looked upward. As she watched the expression on my face, I began to push myself in and out of her throat forcefully. As I watched my cock disappear into her mouth I moaned loudly.
After several seconds of face-fucking as Karter described it, I was far too excited to continue. I wasn’t done toying with her yet, and needed to change to something different to keep from reaching climax too quickly.
“Get up,” I demanded as I pulled my saliva covered cock from her mouth.
She w
iped her mouth with the back of her hand as she stood, “Oh, do you want this pussy?”
I looked around the bathroom. I had very few options, “Bend over the sink.”
“Yes sir,” she saluted as she spoke.
As she bent over the sink, she arched her back and raised her ass into the air. I looked down at the floor. She was on her tip-toes. Without a doubt, I wouldn’t last long in this position. I waddled to the sink and gripped her waist in my hands. As I released her right side, I guided the head of my cock past her pussy lips and stood still. As I slapped her on the ass, I thrust myself deep into her in one forceful motion.
She grunted and buried her face in her folded clothes.
“Jesus, Jak. Thanks for the warning,” she moaned.
I pounded away without reservation. As I eagerly watched myself disappear into her wet swollen mound repeatedly, she gripped the edge of the sink in her hands.
“Fuck me Jak,” she grunted over her shoulder.
I worked my hips back and forth forcefully. As my upper thighs slapped against her ass, the sound of flesh on flesh echoed throughout the room. I released her waist and twisted my hand through her hair. After collecting her hair in my hand, I pulled it rearward, arching her back even more. The angle of her body combined with my deep savage strokes was more than I was prepared for. After a half dozen aggressive strokes, she began to groan.
“Harder…Jak…fuck me harder.”
I pounded away as I looked down between the cheeks of her ass. My cock magically disappeared into her wet pussy with each thrust. I pulled her hair firmly as I thrust myself into her. I felt myself beginning to swell. Within a few seconds, this would be over.
As I felt her begin to climax, I pulled my cock from inside her.
“On your knees,” I demanded.
After a split-second hesitation, she turned and dropped to her knees.
“Fuck yes, cum in my mouth. I want to taste you,” she said as she opened her mouth.
I stroked my swollen cock until I felt the pressure building. As I lowered the tip to her mouth, I felt myself begin to explode. As I began to spurt cum into her mouth, I moved the tip of my cock and sprayed her face with cum. The excitement of being in the bathroom, the eagerness of Karter to fuck in public, and the fact I had not reached climax in four days was apparent by the amount of cum covering her face. The last spurt, landed directly in her falsely colored blue eye.
As she looked up at me in a face of somewhat disgust, I gazed down and smiled.
“Jesus, what the fuck. Are you a porn star? You fucking covered me in that shit,” she gasped.
I turned and shuffled to the toilet and removed the roll of toilet paper and flushed the toilet repeatedly until it disappeared. I turned to face her. Cum dripped from her chin onto her breasts as she attempted to wipe it from her eyes. I pulled my jeans from my thighs to my waist and stuffed my flaccid cock into them. As I buckled my belt, she turned toward me, still covered in cum with her eyes closed.
She held her hands in the air with squinted eyes, “Will you hand me something to clean this shit off?”
I reached for the door handle and smiled, knowing there was nothing but her clothes to wipe off with.
“You’ll figure something out. My old eyes can’t see too well.”
And I opened the door to the bathroom and walked to my bike.
Feeling more and more like a biker with each and every step.
KARTER. I finished reading the article on the front page of the Local/State section. Another driver killed due to alcohol consumption. Each and every one is disappointing in a different way. I stared at the page and wondered how many would truly be prevented if people simply either didn’t drink or drank more responsibly.
I don’t know that any one death is more important or holds any more value than another in the eyes of God, but this particular death, to me, provided an odd feeling of comfort. I sighed and turned the page to the obituaries.
As I scanned the obituaries, Jak walked toward the kitchen. Before I could get up, he was behind me, hugging me from behind. As he embraced me and kissed along my neck, he looked over my shoulder and down at the newspaper. He found it half morbid I read the obituaries every day, and had expressed it often. Some days, he asked if there was anyone important or interesting who had died. As I relaxed into his strong arms, his finger scanned the page of the paper. If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn it stopped for a split second beside one of the names. I sighed and looked down.
His hand was gone.
Having already seen the article on the preceding page, I didn’t need to read any more. I focused on the name.
Shelley Peterson, 39, Potwin Kansas
He stood up, cleared his throat, and walked to the window. He stood shirtless and stared through the glass and up toward the sky for a long moment. I poured a cup of coffee and walked his direction. A new abstract painting of the open road was half complete on the easel. I hoped Jak would let me put in his apartment when I was finished. I placed the coffee on the desk in front of the window and lowered myself onto the stool. As I waited for Jak to drink his coffee, I sat and stared out the window and into the blue sky. As he continued to peer out the window, he cleared his throat.
“Anyone interesting pass away today?” he asked.
I shook my head and slid the coffee cup toward him, “Nope.”
I stood from the stool and stepped his direction. Jak had been staying overnight more and more recently. We had both reached a point where it was difficult to sleep alone. When we were finally married and able to be together every night, my life would truly be complete.
He had trimmed his beard into a goatee of sorts, without the mustache. Although Jak was without a doubt the man, he wasn’t the man. The mustache had to go. With his new haircut and a late summer tan from riding, Jak was perfectly gorgeous. As he reached out to hug me, I smiled and rested my head against his shoulder. Today we were going on a poker run. One of the stops was the bar in Potwin. Although I had been worried about going back to my home town, now I felt as if I could do so without much concern.
I decided if we encountered someone who knew me, I would deal with it at the time. I was done hiding from the truth. In some respects, I hoped someone would see me. I’d simply tell Jak the truth. Now, more than ever, I felt my past didn’t matter so much. We all have a past. What we are willing to do and who we are willing to be from this day forward is truly what matters.
As Jak held me in his arms, I exhaled and slowly lifted my feet from the floor. As he felt my weight against his arms, he lifted me and let my legs dangle from the floor. As he held me tightly to his naked chest, he kissed me softly. Feeling as if I was truly in heaven, I closed my eyes and said a small prayer.
God,
I know they say you work in mysterious ways, so it comes as no surprise I can’t often understand this crazy world we live in. Thanks for Jak, and for everything else you have graced me with.
Keep us safe today, and watch over everyone else we ride with. I know it’s tough for you to understand, but I didn’t really care one way or another about her. I imagine you’ll have to sort her out and send her somewhere, so see if there’s a place in heaven for her. She probably belongs in hell, but even though she was an evil woman, I’m sure she had her reasons. I won’t make the funeral, but you know why.
I never cared much for her.
I suppose it’s tough for you to understand, but it’s my choice. I choose to love those who love me in return.
And I know that’s why you gave me Jak.
Pound it.
Karter out.
EPILOGUE
I looked toward the doors as the music played. As they opened, she emerged into the aisle. It was the first time I had seen her in the wedding dress. She redefined beauty, just as Oscar had said.
As they walked the aisle, my breathing became labored. I knew if I were required to speak now, I’d be incapable. Overcome with emotion and joy, I simply wanted to watch
my bride walk down the aisle.
I looked into the front row. My mother sat crying softly. She hadn’t attended my first wedding, and I was grateful. Seeing her joy now was worth a lifetime of waiting. She raised her handkerchief to her mouth as they stopped at the bottom of the aisle, not further than fifteen feet from where I stood.
“On this day, the 6th of June, before our Lord Christ, who gives this woman to be married to this man?” the preacher asked.
“I do, sir. Oscar Brown, sir,” Oscar exclaimed with authority.
Oscar wore a black tuxedo with a tailed jacket. The tail from the jacket almost reached the floor. He looked magnificent. Although he had initially requested he be able to wear his Marine uniform, he decided against it when he learned I wanted no ties to the military in my wedding. The past was truly now the past. Our lives were both beginning from scratch so to speak.
Karter had chosen the date of the wedding. June 6th. I had something very precious taken from me on this date as a child. This had been a day I had spent a lifetime associating with loss. It would now forever remain a day to celebrate love and the union of two people deeply in love. My mother, as I, could not have been happier. Secretly, she wanted Karter to allow her to pick the day, and reserved this day in her mind as hopeful.
The fact Karter chose it on her own caused my mother and I both to believe there was involvement from God above.
As the preacher spoke, I looked at Karter adoringly.
“Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the house of the Lord, and in the face of this company, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this holy estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show just cause why they may not be joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,” he paused and exchanged glances between us.
“Marriage is the union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind. It is intended for their mutual joy, and for the help and comfort given on another in prosperity and adversity. But more importantly, it is a means through which a stable and loving environment may be attained. Through marriage, Jak Kennedy and Karter Wilson make a commitment together to face their disappointments – embrace their dreams – realize their hopes – and accept each other’s failures. Jak and Karter will promise one another to aspire to these ideals throughout their lives together – through mutual understanding, openness, and sensitivity to each other.”
KARTER Page 17