Luscious

by Lexi Blake

  Lisa winced. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

  Laurel looked between the two of them. “I apologize. I assumed she would know what a sub is given the fact that she lives with you, Sir.”

  “Submissive?” Ally said the word in that way that let him know she kind of knew what it meant but wasn’t exactly rah-rah about it.

  Macon looked at Lisa and Laurel. He wasn’t really mad at them. They should be safe to talk here. He was the one who had screwed up. “I’m sorry, ladies. You’re right. I should have told her. Can you explain why you’re here?”

  Laurel patted the baby’s back. “Sanctum has a training program for Doms and subs. The actual club costs are way too expensive for either of us, but Big Tag has a program where he lets us in if we help out where we can. Subs end up watching kiddos a lot. Well, the ones who like kids. Normally Vince would be with us, but he’s doing a play in Austin this week. He’s an actor and a total bottom. He’s got a great touch with Carys. She gets crabby. All the Doms in training are helping with the Sanctum rebuild.”

  “After what I did with a jigsaw, they won’t let me near the construction,” Lisa explained.

  Ally turned on him, pointing back to the kitchen. “Talk. Now.”

  He stopped and crossed his arms over his chest because that tone did not sit right with him. He was always polite with her. He’d spent a week taking care of her, too. He’d done the marriage where his wife pushed him around. He wasn’t about to start that again.

  She’d been walking toward the kitchen but stopped in her tracks when she realized he hadn’t moved. “What?”

  “You should be more polite,” Laurel said in a singsong voice. She was bouncing a baby. “Shouldn’t she, Aidan? Yes, she should show some respect.”

  She stopped for a minute and then turned back to him. “Could I talk to you in the kitchen, please?”

  He nodded and followed her back, not looking forward to the next couple of minutes. Maybe she wouldn’t be here next week.

  When he pushed through the kitchen door, she was leaning against the island. “Submissives? Doms?”

  “My brother is into alternative lifestyles and as he is your host, I expect you to treat him with a modicum of respect.” He owed his brother. His brother had spent a lifetime with people judging him. He wasn’t going to bring another person into Adam’s life who might misunderstand him.

  She frowned his way. “I haven’t been disrespectful to Adam.”

  “And to me?” He’d done nothing to earn that glare from earlier or the way she’d hauled him in front of the Daley girls.

  “Oh, god, you’re one of them.”

  He was done. He had a job to do. He crossed to the island and started gathering the things he would need. “I’ll be back after the party. I’m sorry about the disturbance, but the babies should be gone sometime after midnight.”

  The kitchen got quiet as he started organizing his things.

  He felt a hand on his back and then Ally spoke quietly. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “It’s not a problem.” Maybe he was more invested than he thought. He really didn’t like the way she’d reacted. It bugged him. He could handle her ordering him around when it came to healthcare. That felt like caring. This felt too much like judgment, and he wasn’t going to take that again.

  “I’m sorry.”

  He took a deep breath and really meant it when he said it this time. “It’s all right.”

  It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t deal with his lifestyle choices. He hadn’t exactly talked to her about it. They’d spent the week chatting about inconsequential things. He knew she liked to watch mystery movies and read romances, and he’d talked about the fact that he loved reading thrillers. They’d spent an enormous amount of time in the kitchen where he felt the most comfortable. He’d avoided talking about his past. She was glib when she talked about hers. Now that he looked at it, they hadn’t been serious at all.

  Roommates. They hadn’t tried to be anything more and maybe that was all right. He didn’t want to get involved with a woman who didn’t want to know him. He’d already been married to one.

  “It doesn’t feel all right,” she said in a quiet voice.

  “It’s not a big deal. I’m sorry I didn’t explain it to you before. The party earlier was for Grace’s family. This one is for Grace’s friends. Her kink family, if you will. I’ll handle everything. I have to make sure Serena and Adam know how to reheat if they need to. My brother is actually quite good in the kitchen, too.” He politely broke her hold and stepped away. If they weren’t going to be more than friends, he didn’t think it was appropriate to get intimate. He also didn’t want a quick hookup or a “friends with benefits” type thing with her.

  “Sean is involved, too,” she said quietly. “That’s why he called the restaurant Top. I thought it was because he wanted to be the top restaurant, but that wasn’t what he meant.”

  He looked back at her. She was leaning against the fridge, her arms crossed over her chest. He kept the island between them, giving her space since it looked like she’d gone back into protective mode. “It’s not something you have to worry about. Sean’s a good guy.”

  “He hits his wife.”

  That felt like a kick in the gut. Well, it was better to know sooner than later. “They play together. Everything they do is mutually agreed on and for her pleasure. Does Grace look like an abused woman?”

  She shook her head as though trying to clear it. “Could you give me a minute? I’m trying to wrap my brain around it.”

  This was what his brother had to deal with all these years. “You don’t have to. It has nothing to do with you. It doesn’t hurt you or anyone. It’s people choosing to live and play together. If you can’t handle that, the door is that way, but if you think I’m going to stand here and debate with you whether Sean and my brother are abusive husbands because they and their wives indulge in spanking and bondage, you’re wrong. I won’t justify myself or my family to you.”

  Tears had formed in her eyes and it took everything he had to stand his ground and not reverse everything he’d said. She stood there as the tears fell on her cheek, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was staring at a place on the floor as though she couldn’t stand to look at him. As if he was going to turn into some kind of monster.

  He forced himself to move. He grabbed the cake plate and started readying Grace’s birthday cake for transfer.

  “He went to a lot of trouble for her. Two parties for her birthday,” she mentioned quietly.

  “He loves her. You should see what Big Tag does for his wife. Who is also his sub.”

  “And you want to have that kind of relationship?”

  He sealed the cake in and prayed he made it across the yard without tripping. He’d almost lost a plate of petit fours for the family party when he’d tried to take a shortcut to Bessie. God, he was calling her car by that name now, too. Ally had saved the little cakes. She’d been walking right next to him, chatting away. He hadn’t realized how closely she’d been watching him.

  He was going to miss their easy friendship. He’d been thinking bitterly about it before, but now he realized how lonely he was going to be without her. He would have taken her friendship without the sex if that was all he could have. A heaviness set over him.

  “I’ve never had that kind of relationship. I’ve been training and I like it. I enjoy feeling like I have control somewhere. I like feeling like someone needs me even if it’s only for a while. But that doesn’t matter. I won’t hit you, Ally, if that’s what you’re really asking. I won’t hurt you or try to force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Look, if knowing this about me makes you uncomfortable staying here, then let me loan you some money to get your own place. I don’t have much but I can float you a down payment and first month’s rent. You can pay me back in installments.”

  “You want me to leave?”

  “No, but I don’t want you to be afraid of me and I think you are
right now. You don’t have to decide tonight. I’ll stay over at the big house and we can talk about it in the morning.” He picked up the cake. “Don’t forget to lock the deadbolt.” He turned to go and thought about having a beer. His brother would have a fridge full of it, but he would only have one. He was going to do his job and ensure everything was all right with the play party and then he’d hit the guest room and sit up all night wondering how he was going to miss a person he’d only known for a few weeks.

  Her arms went around his waist and she plastered her front to his back. “Please don’t go. Not like this.”

  “Ally, it’s all right. I’m not going to kick you out. It’s okay.”

  She didn’t let go. If anything, her hold tightened. “I’m not afraid of you. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. And I know Sean and Adam are good men. Please don’t be mad at me. I didn’t expect it and I had a bad reaction and I’m sorry. I get stuck in a corner sometimes and I’m too stubborn to come out. I don’t want to leave here. I don’t want to leave you.”

  “What is this really about?” It felt bigger than a misunderstanding. He set the cake down because it looked like this conversation was going to take a while.

  She was quiet for a moment, her head resting against his back. “My dad hit my mom. He was a mean drunk. She left when I was eight. I wished she’d taken me with her. He didn’t smack me around, but he would scare the crap out of me. That’s when I started running away.”

  He’d wondered. She was so glib that she had to be glossing over something bad. He let his hand drift to where she was holding on to him like a lifeline. “No one’s going to hurt you here, baby.”

  He probably shouldn’t have used the endearment. She wasn’t his baby, but he wanted to give her some affection and words were likely the only way she would take it from him.

  She slowly let go and he turned around. Her face was red, and he knew telling him that truth about herself had cost her. He didn’t want to hurt her. Not physically. Not emotionally. She was so strong and he hated to see her looking vulnerable. The last time he’d seen her like this was when Timothy had assaulted her. He kept his hands to his sides despite the fact that he wanted to hold her. “It’s all right. You don’t have to talk anymore. It’s okay.”

  She walked right into his arms like she belonged there. She put her head against his chest, her body flush to his. She wasn’t trying to put distance between them or show him that they could still be friendly. This was an all-out plea for comfort, and he couldn’t deny her. He sighed as his arms wrapped around her and their bodies fit together for the first time in days.

  This was where he’d needed to be. This was what he’d wanted. He’d wanted to be able to smell her shampoo and feel her body nestled to his, but it was confusing.

  “Ally, I don’t understand. Baby, you’re going to have to tell me what you want from me because I can’t read your mind. I’ve kept my hands to myself all week because it seems like you only want to be friends, but I have to say, it feels like more right now. If I’m reading you wrong, I would like for you to tell me. I care about you. A lot. If you don’t feel the same way, please tell me. It doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. It doesn’t mean you can’t stay here. I simply need to adjust my expectations.”

  Her head moved against his chest like she was trying to find the right spot. She settled her ear right over his heart. “Have you ever wanted something, but you know you probably can’t have it?”

  “Baby, I haven’t been playing coy. If you want me all you have to do is ask.” He smoothed a hand down her hair, enjoying the rich feel of it. Like spun silk. “But you should know that while I don’t have to top you to have a relationship with you, all my friends are into the lifestyle. If that’s going to bother you, maybe we should talk about it.”

  “Or maybe you should show me and I’ll promise to try not to let the fact that my dad was an atrocious human being ruin this, too.” Her face turned up, her eyes still shining with tears. “I’m not usually like this, Macon. I promise. I’m not so damaged that I can’t have a relationship. And I know I pulled back this week, but I wanted you to know me. I thought it was a bad idea to jump into bed with you. I didn’t want to be just another woman you went to bed with.”

  “Uhm, baby, you seem to have gotten the wrong impression of me. I haven’t been to bed with anyone but my right hand in well over a year and honestly, there hasn’t even been much of that. I was stationed in Afghanistan and then I came home to divorce papers. So you wouldn’t be another woman. You would be one of two.”

  Her eyes widened. “Two?”

  He nodded and kind of wished he was the stud she thought he was. He was about to ruin that impression. “I married Elise when I was eighteen. I’ve never slept with anyone else. So if you’re looking for an incredible amount of experience, you won’t find it with me. You should know that. After the accident, well, there aren’t a lot of women out there looking for a broke, divorced, one-legged veteran.”

  “One and a quarter legs. We have to use all our assets, Miles.” She went up on her toes. “I want you so badly. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a man the way I want you. I want to be enough for you.”

  It was all he could possibly have asked for. He leaned over and brushed their lips together. “You are. And you don’t need to come with me. Like I said, I don’t need to top you to be with you. I’ll drop the cake off and come back here. We’ll play with the kids and maybe later tonight we’ll make out and see where things go. I don’t want to push you. This relationship is important to me.”

  She hugged him again. “It’s important to me, too. And that’s why I want to go. I want to see. Will they let me watch? Or will they think I’m a total perv for wanting to watch?”

  “Oh, that house is full of happy perverts right now.” He sighed, hoping he wasn’t making a mistake. “I’d already asked if I could bring you. Big Tag agreed. You’re welcome, but you’re coming in with me and that means there are some rules.”

  “Do I call you Sir? I caught that, you know.” At least she sounded happy again.

  “No. You call me Macon and you stay close to me. If I give you an order, it’s for your safety and the safety of the others. This is a private play party. There are going to be different scenes going on in various rooms of the house, though most people will be in the dungeon. And there will be naked people. If this was Sanctum, you wouldn’t be allowed to come in street clothes.”

  “I don’t have anything sexy.”

  “You’re sexy exactly the way you are.” He loved her in jeans and a T-shirt or her Top uniform or her PJs.

  “You say the sweetest things, Miles.” She glanced back up at him and gave him a tremulous smile. “I’m crazy about you. I want this to work.”

  He cupped her cheeks and held her still for a long kiss. He molded his lips to hers, going slow and savoring every moment. He couldn’t ask for more than an honest chance with her. “I’m crazy about you, too.”

  He dipped his head down again. The cake could wait a few minutes more.

  * * * *

  She clung to Macon’s hand and it wasn’t really about being afraid. She could finally hold it. She could finally feel their fingers threading together. She moved closer to him as they ventured out of the dining room after putting the finishing touches on the buffet. It was gorgeous. Macon hadn’t made everything, but in her mind his were the tastiest. In addition to the cake and a plate of tiny lemon angel food cakes with a dash of lemon confit, he’d made three types of hummus, put together a charcuterie board and a cheese plate, and a lovely selection of crudités. She’d helped him with the variety of vegetables, cutting them the way he taught her to.

  She loved living with Macon. She was fairly certain she was falling in love with Macon. Maybe it was a mistake, maybe she was being naïve, but he couldn’t have hurt her brother. She wanted the truth, but she was no longer sure she wanted it at the price of her relationship with him.

  “Are you ready? There’s a bar set
up in the living room, but no one will be drunk here. Big Tag would never allow that. There’s a two drink max.”

  “Really?”

  “Discipline is the name of the game with this crowd,” Macon explained. “They can’t take care of their subs if they drink too much and they always take care of their subs. And here are our first naked people. Naturally it’s my sister-in-law. Yeah, I had to get used to that.”

  Ally felt her jaw drop. Serena Dean-Miles, the mild-mannered writer she’d gotten to know over the last week, was trussed up like a turkey and all she was wearing was some rope. It looked like quite a bit of rope, but it didn’t cover anything important. Her arms were bound behind her back, her breasts proudly displayed in what looked like the reverse version of a bra since her torso was covered but her breasts were left bare.

  “Who didn’t get her word count in, today?” Adam asked, his voice a low growl. She had to admit that Macon’s big brother looked fine wearing nothing but what appeared to be a pair of leather pants. His chest was perfectly sculpted, every inch of him lean muscle.

  “It was me, Master,” Serena said. Gone were her glasses and her typical bun. Her brown and blonde hair flowed around, making her look feminine and sexy. She bit her bottom lip and looked up at Adam with big eyes. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t have enough time today.”

  “She’s not really sorry,” Ally whispered to Macon.

  Macon grinned at her. “She might be in a minute, but it’s all play. They set up this scene weeks ago. They like to call it the ‘naughty author gives in to her muses.’”

  She couldn’t help but giggle at that. Did they really sit around and plan a thing like this? She tried to picture the three of them sitting around the dinner table talking about what kind of things they would use. Toys, she corrected. They would talk about what toys they would use when they played. Or maybe they would talk about it in bed. Maybe they would hold each other and talk about their fantasies.

  Did she have any sexual fantasies? All of her dreams revolved around Macon, but it was more about him holding her and kissing her. She’d kind of thought she would get through the sex in order to enjoy the cuddling.