“Annabelle. You’ve been talking about him for four years and today nothing. Your silence is giving you away. Something’s up and you’re not sharing the details.”
“He hired me to be his nanny.”
“He what? Like you’re going to be inside his house with access to his underwear drawer to feel just how stretched out that penis pocket on his boxer briefs is. Let me in!”
I instinctively slap her on the wrist.
“That’s assault and battery! You better learn these things if you ever want to have a real shot at him.”
“There’s no shot at him. He hired me to do professional work for him.”
“Professional, huh? As in something you have no experience in and wait…since when does he need a nanny? I thought he was single.”
“He is. I think.”
“You think? You have to know these things! You’re going inside his lair, if you want to slay the dragon you’ve got to know everything you can about it first. Its strengths. Its weaknesses. What his T-shirts smell like after he’s been working out…you know.”
“Oh my god, what kind of fetishes are you into?”
“Fetishes? You don’t like the smell of a real man?”
“I do. I mean cologne is nice too.”
“But nothing beats the smell of a man who’s been doing manly things and he’s as manly as it gets.” She takes a sip of her Coke. “What is he now? Like…forty?”
“Thirty-nine.”
“Thirty-nine and hella fine!”
“I won’t argue with you about that?”
“So you are thinking about how this can turn out. I knew it.”
“Of course I am. Are you kidding. I’ve been crushing on this guy forever.”
“Do you have a shot?”
I don’t want to jinx myself, but by the way he looked at me yesterday I feel like I actually do.
“Probably not. He likely just sees me as the kid next door still.”
“Well you know what that means?”
“What?”
“Shopping!”
“Shopping?”
“Don’t act like you don’t know. We’re getting you a push up bra a shorter skirt and some heels.”
“He’s going to arrest me for impersonating a prostitute.”
“Don’t you worry. I know just the store that has the perfect stuff. Not too slutty, but just enough to get a guy’s attention.”
But this isn’t any guy we’re talking about here. This is the guy, and I’m not about to risk my look to try and catch him.
Honorable cop. Check.
Noble single dad. Check.
I’m going to be my normal conservative self. Show him I’m older than I look and let him know I’m just as responsible and trustworthy as he is.
But spending the afternoon shopping might help me take my mind off him a little. Okay, I know it won’t but at least I can imagine a little police officer bad girl fantasy.
CHAPTER 7
Braden
I lie in bed staring at the ceiling as I’ve been doing the past three hours. I can’t sleep. Not when she’s on my mind.
Annabelle was only supposed to come over for thirty minutes to an hour today. She stayed for three.
And she was also supposed to be the same girl I used to know. She’s a woman now.
There’s no doubt where this path is going to take me. And I’m going to make sure it takes me to her.
But I’m playing with fire here. If this blows up in my face I’m going to lose my friendship with Adam, the relationship I’m ready to build with her, and most importantly right now the stability that Vivian needs.
I’ve brought Annabelle into Vivian’s life. It was my choice and it’s the right one, but the last thing I can do is go and mess that up. Imagine if Vivian grows attached and something happens that causes Annabelle to leave.
That would be the absolute worst.
I know there’s nothing I would do to cause that. At least not consciously. Sometimes guys are oblivious to small word choices that make big differences with women and I sure hope I never make that mistake, but you never know.
But I’m not too concerned about that anyways. I’m mostly concerned about her father and what she’ll do if he forces her to choose.
He’s a competitive guy and values loyalty above all else. It’s why we’ve been such good friends for all these years, and it could be the thing that tears us apart.
I could only imagine if I were a fly on the wall. I’d seem nuts right now. I’m already planning my future with this woman and thinking about ways I can overcome obstacles that I know are going to present themselves. This and I haven’t even been out on a date with her yet, let alone told her how I feel.
But she knows. A woman always knows.
And I sure telegraphed it this morning when I dropped my coffee mug the minute I laid eyes on her. What a sight she was. She came in and absolutely rocked my world. And I say came in, but that’s just when she was standing on the top step. She hadn’t even set foot in my home at that point.
But oh when she did. She bonded with Vivian quickly. It started a little shaky, but just a few minutes later they were off to the races in terms of friendship. It was beautiful to see Vivian open up like that, especially considering Annabelle was just a stranger to her at first. She never would have done that. And I don’t think it’s because I was the one who introduced the two of them.
It was because of Annabelle. Vivian likes her, so much so she couldn’t stop talking about her. She was still asking about her when her little eyes closed and her mouth stopped moving mid sentence when I put her down to sleep tonight. And she went to sleep an hour early she was so worn out from the excitement of making a new friend.
This couldn’t have been more perfect. Vivian gets a nanny all the while she starts to come out of her shell and learn to enjoy life again.
And I get the woman of my dreams.
It’s too much to process right now. I don’t know why I even bother. Just accept that I won in the game of life.
But I haven’t. I know I have to figure out how to climb the biggest obstacle which will be her father’s approval.
But first I need to win hers.
CHAPTER 8
Annabelle
The next morning
I’m sure I looked terrible this morning when I showed up at Braden’s house at 7:30. Little does he know the reason why…
Him.
I was up all night thinking about him. Thinking about how yesterday felt. It was like our relationship was entirely new and the same all at the same time.
It was new in the sense that I could see he looked at me like a woman, an adult.
And it was the same in that he still looked at me with protective eyes. He’s still my godfather and takes his responsibility to watch over me very seriously.
But today is all about me watching over Vivian.
Braden has a twenty-four hour shift so I’ve got an entire day to spend with her and I’m certainly looking forward to it. I guess this is where the whole nanny vs babysitter thing comes into play. If I was just a babysitter I’d stay up, watch movies, and put her to sleep as usually happens when parents, or this case a parent, goes out at night.
As a nanny I’ve got her morning, noon, and night and I need to plan a lot more than movies, popcorn, and ways to convince her to brush her teeth before she passes out on the couch.
The good thing about not being able to sleep is that it gave me time to prepare some ideas.
It’s an entire list of things we can do today, and entirely different than the mental list of things I’d like her dad to do to me. That list I’m not about to write down, not that I need to. It’s constantly on play running in a loop over and over again in my head.
“Morning sweetheart,” I say when I see Vivian come down the stairs.
“Good morning, Annabelle.”
“Can I make you a bowl of cereal?” I ask.
“No, it’s okay. I can make it myself.”
Strike one for me.
I follow Vivian into the kitchen and watch as she so preciously reaches for her Frosted Flakes and then pulls the gallon jug out of the refrigerator. I laugh at the idea of Braden not even registering to buy smaller sizes to make things easier on Vivian. Then again he probably takes care of making her breakfast, a responsibility she apparently hasn’t entrusted me with yet.
“I saw you had a Cat in the Hat book,” I say.
“Yes. I have it.”
“Do you like cats?”
“Yes.”
So much for picking up on where we left off yesterday. I felt like we left each other on a pretty high, talkative note. Today it’s almost like we’re starting all over from scratch.
I’m not sure if Vivian is making this easier or harder on me. I thought it would be easier from the clues I spotted yesterday, like the Cat in the Hat book. But apparently it’s going to be harder than I thought. Then again what was I expecting? To waltz in here like some Mary Poppins and make everything right in a single day?
My goal for today is just for her to open up and have fun…fun like we were having yesterday. I hate to think so, but maybe she just put on an act for her dad yesterday. Maybe she just wanted him to see that she was “okay” and that she was backing his decision to bring me on as a nanny.
It’s too early to tell, but I certainly hope that’s not the case. I also doubt she’d do something like that. I don’t know her well yet, but I can see she’s a genuine kid who somewhat wears her emotions on her sleeve.
“Do you want to go see some cats today?”
“Cats?”
“Yeah. Big ones. I got your dad’s permission to take you to the zoo if you want to go.”
“The zoo?”
“Yeah, we can take a road trip to Miami.”
“I don’t want to go to Miami,” she says.
“You don’t like Miami?” I ask.
Suddenly she puts her spoon down in her cereal before she even takes a first bite. Her eyes well up and a tear begins to fall. She carefully pushes her seat back and then takes off running for her room.
“Vivian?” I ask, but it’s too late.
I hear her door shut and wonder what I said that triggered her behavior.
This is going to be a lot more challenging than I thought.
I might be way in over my head, but I need to be the one who keeps us both from drowning. And right now Vivian is upstairs drowning in a sea of tears.
CHAPTER 9
Braden
I slide the key in the lock and open the door. I was able to slide out a couple hours early so I’m already home at 6:00 a.m. I’m expecting to find both girls still passed out, but I’m only half right.
“Annabelle?” I ask. “You’re up already.”
“Hey,” she says sounding defeated.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think I did something that upset Vivian.”
“Upset Vivian?” This doesn’t sound good, but I know Annabelle would never do such a thing intentionally.
“I asked her if she wanted to go to Miami.”
“To the zoo. Right.”
“The word Miami seemed to change her mood.”
“This was yesterday morning?”
“Yeah, almost as soon as I got here.”
“You could have called me.”
“I knew you were on the streets yesterday and I didn’t want to bother you.”
“It’s never a bother when we’re talking about my daughter.”
“I know, but…we got things straightened out about an hour later and had a pretty good day actually. It’s just that I’m struggling to understand what I did wrong.”
“Well, what’s most important is what you did right. You want to talk about that first?”
I sit down on the couch next to her seeing how dejected she looks. I want to put my arm around her and if I’m being honest with myself a whole lot more.
I’m impressed by how invested she is in Vivian’s happiness. I’m glad that it means a lot to her and knowing that means a lot to me.
Apparently there was a setback today, but seeing what I see now I know we can work though it together. Not that I ever questioned it, but I can see she’s completely committed to my child and I’m completely committed to keeping her on as my nanny…and a whole lot more.
“Yeah,” she says. I feel her bodyweight move on the couch and she’s suddenly a couple inches closer to me. I want to close that distance between us so bad right now, but the time’s not right.
“After she came down from her room I could see she was crying. I read to her from the Cat in the Hat and then she read some aloud too. It lightened the mood a lot and after that we went for a walk over to my aunt’s house. She’s got more cats than she knows what to do with. Vivian started to open up even more when we got there and before long she was running around the yard playing with the cats having a great time.
“That’s great! See, a situation came up and you solved it. You did the right thing. I’m proud of your decision-making. That’s quick thinking.”
I reach up to give her a high five. It may not be the most appropriate thing, but something inside me just needs to feel her skin against mine. And not only that I want to reassure her she did the best possible thing given the circumstances and also give her a sort of teamwork vibe. I’m not exactly the best with women so a high five it is.
She reaches up to meet my hand, but instead of just slapping it she leaves her hand there. I feel her fingers bend in toward mine and I do the same. Before I even know what’s happening our fingers are interlaced and our eyes are locked on one another.
I can’t do this. Not yet. Not here.
I guide our hands down and our hands separate naturally, but what was even more natural was the way her hand felt so perfect in mine. My hand is so much bigger, and stronger, and it even covers her hand. I can protect her, not just physically, but emotionally like this. When she’s having a bad day I can be the one who makes her feel better, and I know she can do the same. She already did it with Vivian and I know she can do it with me too.
“But still, it was just making up for a mistake. I had the perfect day planned out, but I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin it. I ruined it.”
“You couldn’t have ruined it. You were at work.”
“I was at work, but before I left I should have put two and two together. I should have told you about Miami.”
I pause and take a deep breath. I guess it’s better to talk about this now. I didn’t want to put Vivian’s business out in the open, but if Annabelle is going to watch her she has to know her history. I put Annabelle in a tough spot. That was my fault. I was negligent without thinking about it. I can’t let that happen again.
“I’m not sure how much you know about Vivian’s story, but I’ll try and fill you in as best I can.”
Annabelle nods and turns her body on the couch even more to face me. She tucks her foot underneath her leg and digs in for the information I’m about to share.
“Vivian’s mom died of a rare form of cancer a few years ago.”
“Oh no,” Annabelle says. I can see her eyes starting to water.
“She was left with only her dad…a Miami cop. Being that he was now a single parent, they moved quickly to take him off the street and give him a desk job. But unfortunately they weren’t able to move quickly enough.”
I pause thinking back to when I got that damn phone call.
“He was killed in the line of duty…in Miami, Vivian’s hometown.”
“And I asked her if she wanted to go back there.”
“It’s not your fault,” I say. “It was totally mine. I can’t understand how I forgot, or how it didn’t cross my mind. I guess I just heard you mention zoo and thought it sounded like a great idea. I was in such a hurry that it didn’t even register that she hasn’t been back there since her parents’ deaths.”
Annabelle’s face plummets forward into her
hands. I can hear her crying and I know this is completely my fault. I did this. Not her.
I put my hand on her back and try and comfort her, but it’s no use. Feeling her back rise and fall underneath my palm as she gasps for air only makes me feel equally as sad.
Nanny for the Cop Next Door Page 3