by Nina Levine
Her smile turns into a laugh, and I see both the happiness and the pain flit across her face. “Yeah, it does.”
I rub the back of my neck as the energy moves through me. It’s such a conflicting energy; one minute it’s a burn that feels like it will incinerate you, and the next it’s a glimpse of promise that things can get better. “Fuck, why does life have to be so hard sometimes?”
“I don’t know, but sometimes things have to fall apart before they can fall into place. And I’m not talking about your sister here.” She takes a breath before pleading with me. “Promise me you’ll think about that.”
“I will.”
Fuck, I’m already thinking about it.
I’m wondering if the pain of shutting someone out of your life might be worse than the possible pain of losing them.
I’m wondering if Presley and I might have a chance after all.
* * *
An hour later, Mum leaves me so she can go and cook dinner. She’s making roast for my last dinner before I leave tomorrow. To say I’m looking forward to roast is an understatement. It’s been my favourite meal since I was a kid.
After she leaves, I assess our progress. Claudia had specified in great detail in her will where she wanted everything to go and she had also specified her wish we didn’t drag our heels on this. My sister had a huge heart and wanted most of her belongings donated to various charities, so today we’ve managed to box nearly everything up. However, I realise we haven’t gone through her desk yet so I do that now.
There’s so much shit in her drawers, it’s going to take me awhile to go through it all and make sure there’s nothing in there we want to keep, so I drag the first drawer out to the table and sit down to do this. I separate out the old bills she’s paid but not yet filed, the university letters, and other various documents.
And then I find a sealed envelope.
With my name on it.
My heart stills and my breathing slows.
Why is there a letter to me in here?
My fingers hesitate to open it but eventually I do.
My first tear drops after I read the first sentence and by the end, I’m a mess of fucking tears and heartache.
Dear Jett,
Don’t forget to dance in the rain…
If there’s one thing I wish for you, it’s a lifetime of happiness. I’m sorry I can’t be there to see that through with you but you need to promise me you’ll carry on now that I’m gone and fight for your happiness. I know you struggle to let people in and I know you’re so worried about losing the people you love, but you can’t live your life that way. Life is like a storm, big brother, one minute calm and the next it’s all chaos and mess. Promise me you won’t wait for the storm to pass. Promise me you’ll dance in the rain.
See you when you get to heaven.
Love, Princess
xx
My sister is looking out for me even from the grave.
32
Presley
I drag the casserole out of the oven, fighting with the oven door that wants to shut on me before I’m ready. It plays nice and I manage to get the dish out, but just as I’m about to place it on the kitchen counter, it slips out of my hold and hot casserole goes all over my kitchen floor and the dish shatters on the tiles.
Fuck.
I fling the tea towel onto the counter and storm out of the kitchen to the balcony. I need some fresh air and I need to escape the kitchen and the dining table. All I see when I look at that goddamn table is Jett, and after three weeks of nothing from him, I don’t want to think of his ass or his lips or his hands or anything of his.
The warm summer air greets me. It’s a little muggy but there’s a slight breeze tonight and I lean against the railing, close my eyes, and soak it in. The sounds of Florida Georgia Line drift across the night air and I smile as I listen to the lyrics. Someone close by has good taste.
The music pulls me in and it’s not until the song ends that I realise I got lost in it for a while there. The last three weeks have been hard and I’ve moped around for most of them, but today I made a decision and I’ve felt lighter since. I’ve avoided going to see Jett because of my fear of his rejection, but tomorrow I’m going to find him and make him talk to me. For one, I need to know he’s doing okay after Claudia’s death, and two, I need to know if it really is all over for us because if it is, I’ve decided to pack a suitcase and go travelling for a few months. It might kill me to think of him every time I look at the dining table, but I need to see him one last time and confirm he really isn’t mine anymore.
Pushing off the railing, I head back inside to clean up the mess I made in the kitchen. As I slide the balcony door closed, someone buzzes for me to let them up to the apartment. Erin has taken to dropping in unannounced lately, so she can check up on me, so I figure it’s her. I pick up the phone, laughing, and say, “You just couldn’t stay away from me, could you?”
I’m met with silence and I realise it’s not Erin. And then his voice sounds and my body reacts instantly. It’s like he has this power over me, causing my tummy to flutter, my core to scream out for him, and my heart to soar.
Oh God.
“Presley, can I come up?”
Is there any answer other than yes?
“Yes.” I press the button to let him in and then put the phone back in its holder.
And I wait.
And I pray that my heart isn’t about to be completely ripped to shreds.
I open the door to my apartment and when I catch my first glimpse of him in three weeks, my body begins to thrum with need. This man gets to me every time. He’s so damn sexy, from his smile, to his body, to the way he walks; he just has it, and I know I’ll never be able to say no to him. Ever. Because even though he can be an ass, he’s a good man. He’s just lost at the moment.
He approaches with the Jett confidence I know well. His eyes meet mine and then they travel appreciatively over my body. And when he gives his gaze back to me, I see the same need in his eyes that I have.
“Sweetheart,” he greets me in the gravelly voice he uses when he’s turned on, and it hits me in all the right places.
I reach out and steady myself against the doorframe. “Jett,” I greet him, trying like hell to keep myself under control but failing miserably. There’s no controlling yourself around him.
He chuckles and murmurs, “It’s good to know I still affect you as much as you affect me.”
I stare at him for a beat before ushering him in. Then I follow him and wonder where this is all going to end up because it’s sure as hell not feeling like we’re over. Not by a long shot.
He leads me to the living room and then turns to look at me. This time his eyes stay firmly glued to mine. “I fucked up,” he says.
Three simple words and yet there’s a whole lot of emotion behind them. His regret is written all over his face and laced through his words.
His beautiful blue eyes beg me to believe him, and I do. Nodding, I say, “Yeah, you did, but you had a reason.”
He shakes his head. “No,” he says forcefully, “There’s never an excuse for hurting someone the way I hurt you. I’m so sorry, baby.”
I love the way his lips wrap around the word ‘baby’; I always have. “I’ve been worried about you,” I say softly.
“I know, and I love you for it. I’m just an asshole who couldn’t appreciate what I had right in front of me, but I’ve come to my senses now and I hope to God you’ll give me another shot.” His eyes reach for mine again, pleading with me to give him what he’s asked for.
“Did you just say you love me?”
He moves into my space and cups my cheek with his hand. “Yes, I love you, Presley Hart. And I want you by my side forever. I’m just sorry it took me this long to realise it.”
“What caused your change of heart?” I ask, needing to know what’s going on in his mind.
Pain shoots through his eyes. “Claudia and my Mum, actually.”
�
��Claudia?”
A smile creases his face. “Yeah, I found a letter she left for me.” He pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket and passes it to me.
I unfold it and read it, my eyes welling up with tears. “She’s always teaching you to dance in the rain, isn’t she?” I whisper through my tears.
“Yeah, she is” he says gruffly, and I can tell how affected he is by this letter.
“I’m so sorry, Jett.”
“Why? You’ve got nothing to be sorry for,” he says, clearly confused.
“I’m sorry she’s not here anymore.”
He swallows and nods. “Me, too.”
I watch him struggling with his loss and his need to protect himself from further loss. And I think about the fact he’s standing in front of me, laying himself bare and exposing his heart to the very thing he fears the most in the world, and I’m suddenly consumed with love for this man. He’s a good man with an amazing heart and soul. And I know in this moment that I want him by my side forever, too.
Moving as close to him as I can, so our bodies are touching, I press my lips to his and kiss him. Deep and long. I wrap the kiss with all the love I have in this world and hope it touches him as much as he’s touching me. Our arms go around each other and the only thing that exists to me right now is Jett. He’s taken ownership of my mind, body and soul completely.
When we end the kiss, I look up into his eyes and say, “I love you, Jett Vaughn.”
His lips spread out into the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on his face, and he bends down to kiss me again. “Thank you for giving me another chance. I’m not going to fuck this up again.”
I grin. “Oh, don’t you worry, I’m never letting you fuck it up again.”
33
Jett
I roll over in bed and lie on my side so I can watch Presley sleep. Her beauty never fails to blow me away and she’s even sexier to me when her hair’s messed up from sleep. And that first moment when she opens her eyes, looks at me and gives me one of her smiles… a man could relive those moments over and over.
As I let my gaze travel every inch of her skin, I remember the way she let me back into her life last night. I hadn’t expected her to be so quick to forgive me, but something I’m learning about Presley is her amazing capacity to love. I don’t doubt her promise to never let me fuck this up again. And I’m so fucking thankful for that.
“What are you thinking right now?”
I find her eyes and smile. Bending to kiss her, I say, “I’m thinking how much I love the way you love me. I’m thinking how beautiful you are. I’m thinking how grateful I am that you’re mine.” I dip my face close to hers again. “And I’m thinking how much I want to fuck you right now.”
Her eyes and her body can never hide her need from me and this moment is no different. Desire glazes over her eyes and her body instinctively moves closer to mine. Her hand comes to my cheek and she pulls me in for another kiss. “I’m thinking that you have good thoughts first thing in the morning,” she says, her voice heavy with lust.
I roll onto my back and pull her on top. “I had one other thought I forgot to share with you.”
She moves so she’s straddling me. As she reaches for my cock, she asks, “And what was that?”
“I was thinking you should do all the work so I can watch while you fuck me.”
“Really?” she asks in a teasing tone.
I love the hell out of that tone.
Gripping her ass, I nod. “Yeah, sweetheart, really. It’s been too fucking long since I’ve had my eyes on this body.”
“Well, get them off my face and get them on my body, Mr. Rockstar. And do the same with your hands.”
She doesn’t need to tell me twice and I drop my gaze to her tits and then to her hips and legs. Running my hands along her legs, I groan when she takes hold of my dick and begins stroking it. A hiss escapes my lips and she smiles before bending her face to mine. She leans one hand on the bed beside me while continuing to stroke me with her other hand.
“You okay with this being quick?” she asks. “I woke up wet for you so I’m good to go.”
I grip the back of her neck and growl, “I fucking love how ready you are to fuck me and I don’t care if it lasts a minute or an hour, so long as I get my dick in that sweet pussy of yours soon.”
Her lips meet mine and she kisses me with an intensity she never has before while at the same time positioning her pussy over my dick. I grab her ass and pull her down. A feral growl comes from deep inside me at how fucking good she feels, and when she begins to ride me, I abandon myself to the pleasure.
Fuck.
Presley was made for me.
I know this deep in my soul.
There’s not another woman on Earth I’m interested in.
No one comes close to her.
“Jett… fuck…” She’s panting as she fucks me.
So fucking sexy.
She sits up and leans back a little, slowing her movements. I’m transfixed as I watch her tits bounce, and when she alters her position and squeezes her pussy around me while she takes me in deeper, I’m sure I just hit heaven. She’s taken hold of all my senses and I’m completely under her spell.
I love the slow, deep pace she sets. She works me to the edge and just as I’m about to come, she backs off. And then she begins the cycle all over again. It’s fucking ecstasy and I’m an addict. I’m not sure it can get much better until she changes her position again and starts to fuck me harder and faster. My eyes close as the pleasure circles through me. I want to keep them open. I want to watch her. But I’m a slave to the bliss she’s giving me and all I can do is let it take over.
She starts moaning and making the sexiest noises I’ve ever heard from her almost at the same time as my orgasm hits. It grips me hard and pulses through my body, shattering far and wide; there’s not one part of me that misses out on the pleasure. I open my eyes just as her pussy contracts around my dick and her body shudders. Her mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ and her eyes flutter open and shut while she comes.
A minute later, she shifts so she’s lying on top of me. I put one arm around her and smooth her hair back with my other hand. “I love you,” I murmur.
“I love you, too, baby,” she says breathlessly.
We lie quietly for a while, letting the pleasure subside, and then she leaves me to go to the bathroom. When she comes back, she snuggles next to me with her head on my chest.
“I was supposed to fly to New Zealand today,” I say, not caring one bit that I’m not going to make that flight. I would choose being with Presley over going to New Zealand any time.
Lifting her head, she asks, “For work?”
“No, we’re taking a break. I was going by myself to try and clear my head.”
She frowns and props herself up on her elbow so she can look at me. “How long are you on a break for?”
I twirl her hair between my fingers, loving this time with her. “Indefinitely. Van called a time out and he isn’t sure if he’ll be back.”
Her frown deepens. “Are you not freaking the fuck out over this? I thought with your shares and everything, this would worry you.”
I smile, a sense of peace settling in my gut. “Yeah, I’m a little freaked out. But I’m dancing in the rain, remember? And I’m dancing with you, so that makes me the happiest man on Earth.”
A smile slowly spreads across her face and she shifts to lean on my chest, her eyes focused on mine. “I’m liking this new Jett Vaughn. A lot.”
“Only liking?” I tease.
“I said a lot.”
I smack her on the ass and shift her so she’s on her back and I’m on top of her. Pushing my dick against her, I say, “I better pick up my game if you’re only liking me. Give me the day and I’ll have that moved up to a love.”
She puts her arms around me. “You can have the day. Hell, you can have the year.”
“Only the year?”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re a push
y bastard, aren’t you? Always demanding more.”
I chuckle and drop a kiss on her lips. “So what have you got planned for the next few months?”
“Well, if you didn’t come back to me, I was going to go travelling, but now that you’re here, I’m not sure.”
I love that she was waiting for me. “It seems we had similar plans, sweetheart. Maybe we should go see the world together while we’re both on a break.”
Her eyes widen and her smile grows. “I’d love that.” I can hear the excitement in her voice and suddenly dancing in the rain with her sounds like the best damn thing I’ll ever do.
Thank you, Claudia.
34
Presley
I hold Jett’s hand with a strong grip as we enter the charity dinner he’s performing at tonight. There’s a huge turnout and I don’t want to lose him in the crowd. After the event organiser contacted him a week ago and asked the band to perform, ticket sales went through the roof.
He finds our table and pulls out my chair first. Once I’m settled, he sits next to me. Turning to me he pushes a stray hair off my face and asks, “You okay?”
“Yeah. You?” Tonight’s going to be hard for him and I’m doing my best not to keep asking if he’s okay, but I’m concerned.
His face softens. “Yeah, baby, I’m okay.”
“You’re going to be amazing.”
We’re interrupted by West who drops into the seat next to me and says, “We’re already amazing, Presley. I thought you knew this.” He gives me a wink and I shake my head at him.
“Yes, I’m very aware of how amazing you are, West,” I play along with him. I really do love hanging out with the guys, but West is by far the cheekiest one and a lot of fun.
He breaks out in a huge grin and looks at Jett. “If you fuck shit up with Presley again, all bets are off, and I’m staking a claim.”
I hold my breath and wait for Jett to lose it but he surprises me with a smile. He places his arm around my shoulders and replies to West, “I’ve got no plans to fuck this up again and as far as you taking a shot, I’d like to see that. She doesn’t take shit from anyone so I doubt she’d put up with yours for longer than a day.” His tone is fun and I realise he’s not even phased by West’s flirting.