by Asari Endou
Tama was a dog, a foolishly faithful creature who obeyed a strong owner. No matter how many times she was beaten or kicked, she would continue to wag her tail happily for her master. When Sanae gave her a collar, she joyously ran laps around the temple.
The Peaky Angels were cowards. One strong word from her rendered them speechless. Sanae still had no idea which was Yunael and which was Minael, but they’d never made a fuss about it.
Swim Swim’s silence stemmed from ignorance. Sanae had once discovered her staring at a Nishimonzen directory sign. When she asked why, the girl had responded with, “What does this mean?” while pointing at the English letters of “Nishimonzen.” She remembered everything she was told, so it wasn’t that she had terrible memory, but she often couldn’t read simple kanji, either. They did say women with big breasts were stupid, though.
All of her followers were idiots. None of them could think and act on their own. But by following Sanae’s orders, they could do something of significance. They were happier this way, even if they had to die for her.
The Peaky Angels agreed to the candy theft strategy easily, saying, “Sure, that’s easier.” “Super-cool, huh?” and Swim Swim nodded silently, but Tama was the only one who couldn’t get past the ethical problem—should magical girls be stealing from others?
“You have to listen to what the leader says,” Swim Swim warned, and in the end Tama, too, nodded.
Ruler had a rough understanding of Snow White’s usual patterns, but to confirm that nothing had changed recently, she sent out Tama and the Peaky Angels to scout. Only she and Swim Swim stayed behind at Ouketsuji. Ruler found herself repeatedly glancing at Swim Swim, sitting on her knees and not moving a muscle. She just wouldn’t move, so finally Ruler opened her mouth.
“Why are you on your knees?”
“This is the proper position to assume when before our honored leader.”
“… Is that something I told you?”
“Yes.”
She had a habit of reciting Ruler’s past instructions at every opportunity. She remembered everything, even the meaningless insults and thoughtless narcissistic declarations Ruler had forgotten herself. She had accepted Swim Swim’s behavior as simple loyalty, but there were times that it wore on her.
“Just as you may not tell regular humans your true identity, you may not share it with other magical girls without my permission.”
“Your leader must be the object of your affection. The organization is most effective when everyone tries to imitate her.”
“Above all, deal with strong enemies swiftly.”
“Never let down your guard, even after becoming a magical girl and gaining mystical powers. If any enemies that can fight us exist, they, too, will have similar powers.”
Sometimes she’d run her mouth based on whatever was happening at the time, but Swim Swim remembered it all. Ruler walked over to her, crouched down, and patted her head.
“Even an idiot can be slightly bearable if she fills her head with noble things.”
“Noble things like what?”
Ruler smiled and answered, her voice cold as ice.
“My words.”
Ruler’s strategy was simple. It had to be, or her brainless subordinates would fail to keep up, make stupid mistakes, and bungle the entire operation. They would attack the Kubegahama steel tower where La Pucelle and Snow White met—before they could join forces. She knew they met up there because they’d left discussions mentioning the fact in the chat log. “My idiots aren’t the only ones, it seems,” she’d gloated when she found the logs.
But just because they met there didn’t mean they arrived at the same time. There was a small window when one would be alone. If La Pucelle arrived first, the Peaky Angels and Tama would attack and attempt to delay her. Then, when Snow White showed up, Ruler and Swim Swim would attack and steal her candy. If Snow White arrived first, the order would be reversed.
Ruler had no experience in battles between magical girls. Nor did she have any information on what kind of special powers they’d be up against. It was concerning, but the same went for her opponents. Most likely neither La Pucelle nor Snow White had ever fought another of their kind before, and no one knew what magic Ruler’s group was capable of. Tama’s ability to instantly dig holes was well suited to ambushes, and the Peaky Angels’ abilities to transform and fly were perfect for diversions. Ruler’s magic was unbeatable as long as she had a guard, which made Swim Swim perfect for the job, since she could nullify physical attacks with her magic. As a team, they weren’t too shabby.
As long as the idiots don’t make stupid mistakes…
Then the magical candy theft would be a success.
This would be a practice run, a test of sorts. If they succeeded, they could move on to the next step: assaulting Calamity Mary and stealing her candy. Ruler’s humiliation still smoldered, and its embers would never be extinguished until Calamity Mary was on her knees.
“There!” “I see La Pucelle!”
The Peaky Angels reported through their devices. Apparently, they had spotted La Pucelle from their vantage point above.
“She’s running toward the tower!” “She’s pretty fast with all that armor!”
“Execute the plan accordingly.”
Swim Swim and Ruler leaped from the bushes beneath the steel tower and began to ascend.
La Pucelle slowed when she noticed the two angels descending upon her.
Yunael and Minael together formed the Peaky Angels. She’d seen them in chat before, but never in real life. The sneers on their faces half explained what was going on, but their next action—simultaneous dive kicks from the front and back—made their intentions perfectly clear. She dived off the gravel path and rolled over some bushes, drew her sword from its sheath, and, still crouched, pointed its tip at the twin angels. With one hand she easily wielded the two-and-a-half-foot blade, stopping it on a dime.
“What do you want?”
“‘What do you want?’ she asks!” “Isn’t it obvious?” “Candy, please!”
Her blood boiled with anger at the magical girls so weak-willed that they instantly turned to stealing others’ hard-earned reward—and just a tiny bit of excitement at the opportunity to unleash her full power. Ever since she’d obtained this strength, she’d dreamed of victory over a powerful enemy.
The twin angels flapped their body-length wings and circled from above. They seemed to be looking for the right moment to strike. They’d definitely attack as soon as she tried to stand. La Pucelle slowly moved her left hand, then stopped. Something was vibrating ever so slightly.
Below!
Just as the circling angels rocketed toward La Pucelle, a three-foot-wide hole opened up below her. If she didn’t jump, the opening would swallow her, but if she did jump, the angels would attack her while she was unable to move freely in the air. Both choices would lead her to a worst-case scenario—so she chose neither. Instantly she reacted, jamming her sword beneath her feet and jumping on it. Width, length, and thickness all grew to five times the original size, until the sword could support La Pucelle and keep her from falling into the hole.
This was La Pucelle’s magic: to change the size of her sword at will. She could choose the perfect length for any moment. She could hear scratching from within the hole, but it was impossible to nick the enchanted sword.
Hesitation flashed across the angels’ faces. They tried to stop their descent, but instead they lost their balance in midair. Noticing this, La Pucelle leaped off her sword and swung her sheath at one of the angels.
The angel tried to dodge, but was surprised when she couldn’t. She had thought she was far enough away, but failed to account for the sheath’s newly gigantic size as well. The sword wasn’t the only thing that could expand—the sheath covering it was also capable of this. Its flat side connected, smacking the angel to the ground. La Pucelle landed and dashed toward the hole, shrinking her sword to a little under two feet. With the cover on the hole
gone, someone appeared from inside it.
“Hey, what the heck—”
Tama popped her head out of the ground, sensing something was amiss, and La Pucelle attacked without mercy. The solid kick to her temple sent Tama flying straight back into the hole with a muffled grunt. Their formation broken, La Pucelle picked up her sword and turned to face her last enemy.
“What do you want?”
She repeated the question she’d asked when they first attacked, but the angel was gone. All she could see was a single crow cocking its head at her. La Pucelle glanced back at the angel she’d brought down, but no one was there, either—just a rubber ball. Before she could figure out what was happening, the crow took flight, picked up the ball, and flew off toward the steel tower. Their forms stretched, bent, morphed, and changed color until they were no longer a crow and ball, but two angels.
Transformation? Is that their magic?
“That’s good enough of a diversion, right, sis?” “Yeah! No problemo!”
A diversion?
La Pucelle looked up at the top of the steel tower. She could see one, two, three silhouettes—clearly Snow White was not alone up there. Her boiling blood chilled in an instant.
“Damn it!”
She cursed loudly—unbecoming of a gallant knight—and ran up the tower after the two angels.
Meanwhile, the plan went perfectly for Ruler and Swim Swim. They’d scaled the steel tower and attacked the magical girl standing there—the one in the white school uniform, and the darling of Internet news sites. Without a doubt, she was Snow White. Her face twisted in fright as she looked from Ruler to Swim Swim.
“Wh-what?” she asked, voice quavering. She looked and sounded more like a civilian than a fighter, a victim more than a perpetrator. Clearly, she had no intent to fight.
Fool, do you still not realize what I’m here for? Or do you just not want to fight, even knowing what I want? Either way, you’re a fool, Ruler venomously thought to herself. She raised her staff—her royal scepter—pointed it at Snow White, and made her magical decree.
“In the name of Ruler, I order you, Snow White, not to move.”
Snow White froze as she prepared to run, her face still taut with fear. Swim Swim took out her phone, aimed it at Snow White, and began the candy transfer.
This was Ruler’s magic—the ability to make others obey her decrees.
Her power had a few rules. She had to point her scepter at them and strike a pose. She had to hold the pose to keep the decree active. She had to say, “In the name of Ruler.” She could not be more than fifteen feet from the person. And she could have a maximum of four people under her command. However, such an ability was powerful enough to require such limitations. Once she made her decree, it was checkmate.
The Peaky Angels, Tama, and Swim Swim weren’t aware that she had restrictions. She’d merely explained that her magic allowed her to order others around. She wasn’t foolish enough to tell her subordinates her own weaknesses. It was much more convenient for them to think of her as an all-powerful leader.
The decree “give me your candy” would have been less complicated than “do not move,” but it didn’t prevent the problem of an immediate counterattack once the candy was transferred, so she prioritized safety. Ruler was clever, and clever people were careful.
“Swim Swim, are you done yet?”
“Almost.”
“Honestly. This pose is tiring, you know.”
“Just a little more and I’ll be—”
Swim Swim cut off. Ruler looked to where she was gazing, and down below them, two angels hurtled toward the tower. Behind them she could see a knight charging through the gravel and leaving a cloud of dust in her wake.
“Those stupid, idiotic, garbage… They couldn’t even manage to be a distraction?”
“I’m almost done.”
“Shut up, fool!”
Snow White was under attack. Images of her crying and afraid—and finally of the human Koyuki Himekawa—popped into La Pucelle’s head. She felt like her heart was being ripped in two, but at least the blood that had been pounding angrily in her head was now circulating through her body.
To La Pucelle—Souta Kishibe—a magical girl was a heroine who fought. He had no problems with the old-school ones who solved problems around the neighborhood, but to him they were warriors who stood bravely in the face of giant enemies and never gave up protecting what was important to them.
At the top of the steel tower, Snow White needed rescue. However, if La Pucelle just ran straight up, the flying duo was sure to attack her. If the Peaky Angels had completely lost the will to fight, that would be one thing, but from the looks on their faces as they glanced back occasionally, they weren’t exactly running in fear. She’d be forced into a two-on-one midair battle if they attacked while she scaled the steel tower with no stable footing. Even if she did win, it would only help them with their goal of stalling for time. Her opponents had the numbers and the terrain advantage—the fight probably wouldn’t be over quickly. For all the exhilaration she felt at finally being able to unleash her full power, she was acutely aware of her limits. I really am a natural-born warrior, she gloated, but soon snapped herself out of it. She didn’t have many options to save Snow White.
In the few seconds before she reached the tower, La Pucelle observed, thought, found a solution, and acted on it—she charged at the tower with everything she had and shoulder-tackled one of its legs with all her momentum, weight, and power.
From below, the tower’s shaking seemed violent, but at the top it was far worse. The power lines snapped and flailed in the air. They felt like they could almost touch the ground, the shuddering was so violent. Ruler, posing with her scepter, and Snow White, forbidden to move, lost their balance and were hurled from the top. Swim Swim, also falling from the tower, grabbed Ruler’s hand and threw her high into the air, where the twin angels caught her.
Meanwhile, La Pucelle raced to intercept Snow White’s deadly plunge. She caught her, and the two tumbled about thirty feet before finally stopping in some bushes.
Ruler glared angrily at Snow White and La Pucelle, dangling by the arms between the Peaky Angels. They had saved her from the fall, but the position was hardly elegant and only infuriated her. Swim Swim, on the other hand, had no one to save her and would hit the ground. Luckily, her magic would allow her to nullify the damage. Once they all grouped up, they’d be four against two. As Ruler thought about this, she remembered something.
“Where’s Tama?”
“La Pucelle kicked her and that was it.” “Dunno if she’s alive or dead.”
This was the same knight who had managed to shake the giant steel tower, nearly toppling it or even breaking it. It wasn’t hard to imagine one blow taking Tama out of commission. So, considering the fact that Tama and the Peaky Angels had roundly lost in a three-on-one…
“Okay, let’s retreat.”
“Huh?” “Seriously?”
“It’s a strategic retreat! Stop blathering and about-face right!”
As Snow White and La Pucelle picked themselves up, the angels made their escape with a sharp turn to the right, leaving the pair behind.
Ultimately, the cowardly-seeming strategic retreat turned out to be correct. Tama had made her way back to Ouketsuji on her own. Her memories were a bit scrambled, but then again her brain was normally scrambled, so Ruler deemed it not a problem. Swim Swim had not just returned, but returned victoriously after completing her task—she’d succeeded in stealing Snow White’s magical candy and come home in style. Her magical candy stores, formerly 826 pieces, had jumped to 2,914 pieces after the operation. She had taken 2,088 pieces, which was more than anyone in their group, including Ruler, possessed by a factor of two.
“She collected 2,000 pieces on her own?” “How do you even get that many?” “So bourgeois.” “This is a modern-day revolution!” “Sis, you’re so magi-cool.”
“Uhhh, so what do we do with the candy?”
“We snagged 2,088.” “Divided by five, that’s 417, remainder three. It’s uneven.”
“Yuna-Minael, you’re so good at math!”
“No, there’s no remainder.”
Their math had been correct, but they’d used the wrong equation, so Ruler corrected them.
“826 from 2,914 gives 2,088. So far, you’re correct.”
“The rest is wrong?” “How?”
“What makes you think we’re splitting it evenly? 2,088 divided by two is 1,044, which goes to me, the leader. The other half we divide by two again, which is 522. That’s Swim Swim’s share. 522 divided by three is 174. Yunael, Minael, Tama, that’s your share. See? Perfect.”
The run-down temple went silent. The hushed stillness, which should have been normal for the abandoned temple, was eerie. Ruler immediately broke the silence she had created.
“Anyone have something to say?” She glared. “We have you incapable idiots, who couldn’t even do the job you were given, a helpful idiot who actually managed to fulfill her task, and me, the leader—creator of the plan and executor of its most important role. So what would make you think we get equal rewards? Are you stupid? Oh, yes, you are. I knew that. You’re senseless, incapable, and can’t even stall one person three-on-one. You almost screwed up the whole plan! But out of the kindness of my heart, I’ll forget this.”
Ruler pointed at each of them in turn and scowled. The twin angels looked away, Tama’s ears drooped, and Swim Swim just listened, kneeling with perfect posture. Ruler snorted and jabbed her scepter into the temple ground.
“Know your place, idiots. Just be grateful you haven’t been punished.”
CHAT #2
Fav: Now it’s time for this week’s chat~