by Lily Harlem
‘What I mean is, I need to share you with someone. Maybe one time, maybe two.’
Need. He hadn’t said he wanted to.
‘What brought this on?’ I asked, looking into his eyes. Every nerve in my body seemed to be screaming, making me tense, my mind full of questions I had no time to answer.
‘I have …’ He stopped, unhooked his hand from mine and lifted his arm to cup my cheek. His eyes flicked left to right, left to right, showing me he was unsure of how to word things.
Those actions had my emotions soaring. He cared. He bloody cared!
I warded off a huge smile, saying instead, ‘You have what?’
His hand burned my cheek, and his thumb tip brushing the soft skin beside my eye almost – almost – had me crying. I was on dangerous ground in more ways than one here.
‘I have a problem I need your help with, Aniolku.’
I laughed, reverting back to my original role, of who he thought I really was. ‘You need help from me? Now, that isn’t the man I know. You’ve given me the impression you don’t need help from anyone.’
‘I do not usually need help, but tonight I do. Something went wrong.’
‘Something went wrong?’ I purposely made my voice light, acted as though I had no idea what the hell he was talking about. ‘With what? And what’s another man fucking me got to do with it?’
He had two options. He’d either confess or make some bullshit story up.
Please let it be a confession.
He sighed again, moved his hand from my cheek to cup the ball of my shoulder. Stroked languidly, circling my skin as though the action calmed him. Or maybe he was doing it to pacify me, to butter me up?
‘I – I promised you to someone else,’ he said bluntly, the words in his usual brittle, no-nonsense form but his eyes giving him away. He stared at my forehead, took his hand from my shoulder to fiddle with my tufty hair.
‘You did?’ I said, going for the incredulous tone.
‘I did. How do you feel about that?’
‘Uh, well, I don’t know. When this started, it was between you and me. No mention of other men or women. I thought …’ I paused for effect, hoping my acting passed as genuine. ‘Anyway, why are you bothered how it makes me feel? This thing we have, it doesn’t involve caring, does it? You tell me what to do and I do it. If either of us don’t like it, we say the stop word.’
He tensed, stopped playing with my hair, and looked me right in the eyes. ‘Will you say it now? The stop word?’
I felt a bitch for teasing him, but I wanted – needed – to know for sure if he had any proper feelings for me before I wasted my time allowing mine to grow stronger. Yes, we’d only fucked twice, but we’d spoken for a long time before that, built a rapport. Knew things about one another we’d never told anyone else. We had a bond, albeit based around a whore fantasy where we indulged in our deepest desires, but a bond all the same. Possibly tenuous, the strands of it that held us together ready to break at any moment, but it was there.
I just had to strengthen it, that was all.
‘I’m not sure,’ I said. ‘Depends on why you need this man to fuck me.’
‘I owe him money for a deal that went wrong.’
Oh my God, he’d given a full confession. Well, not full enough that I knew what he’d bought and couldn’t sell, but I hadn’t expected this level of admittance. Of trust.
‘And you offered me as payment, is that what you’re saying?’
He resumed with teasing my hair between finger and thumb, staring at what he was doing. Nodded. ‘I did. I did not want to, but I did. This man needs payment. You were the only thing I could offer. Will you do it?’
I reached up and covered his hand with mine, drew it down to the space between us, holding it to my chest. ‘I would do anything for you.’
Relief bled out of him, his whole body relaxing, and a gusty sigh of his sweet breath shrouded my face. ‘Thank you, Aniolku, thank you. You have no idea how much this means to me. No one has ever –’ He pressed his lips together.
‘No one has ever what?’ Say it, please say it.
‘It does not matter.’
He touched his forehead to mine, closed his eyes, and we rested there for a while without speaking. My mind raced, my emotions a giddy swirl with me unable to distinguish the difference between them. They all melded as one big lump, settling in the pit of my stomach, a heavy stone that made me feel sick. He’d trusted me with a confidence, something I never thought he’d do. Earlier, in the warehouse, when I’d seen him offering me to Beefcake, I imagined he’d have taken his usual attitude and told me another man would be joining us and that was that. Hell, when Liuz had fucked my ass, I’d expected Beefcake to join in, striding out from behind the curtains or wherever the hell I thought he’d been.
But Liuz hadn’t just assumed.
The information had me glowing.
‘When will he be here?’ I whispered.
‘Soon.’
‘Am I allowed to see him before he fucks me?’
‘I think you have the right, yes. But the blindfold. I want you to wear it when he – I do not want you to see how him fucking you –’
– makes me feel? Is that what he was going to say?
‘I understand,’ I said, giving him a soft kiss that could be taken any number of ways. It was up to him to work out the real reason for that softness, if he even wanted to. ‘How will I see him then, if I have to wear the blindfold?’
‘We will watch for him through the window.’
I made to move away, to get up and go to the window. Half sitting, with my hand braced against the mattress, I was stopped by Liuz gripping my wrist and squeezing. Looking up at me with eyes that spoke of regret.
‘You said what we have doesn’t involve caring,’ he said.
I held my breath, pulse throbbing in my neck, heart beating so hard my chest hurt. ‘I did. That’s what you said, what you’ve always implied.’
‘I lied.’
Holy fuck.
‘That’s dangerous, Liuz.’ I pulled away, making it clear he’d made a mistake in saying that. Scooting off the bed, I prayed my answer worked to my advantage. That I hadn’t just made one motherfucker of a colossal mistake. For all I knew, he could be messing with my mind, trying to find out whether I’d allowed myself to feel more for him than he’d like. In order to keep him in my life for as long as possible, I had to act as I thought he expected me to.
I walked to the front window, parting the curtains a bit to peer out into the street. The mattress pinged, Liuz getting off, and his footsteps padding across the room made my tummy roll over. He was right behind me then, body pressed to my back, hands coming around to hold me close. I resisted the urge to tip my head back and rest it on his shoulder. His hot breath met my neck a second before his soft lips brushed the skin.
‘I know it is dangerous, Hannah. I did not expect this.’
‘Me neither!’ I said on a low laugh, giving in and lifting my arms to curl my fingers over one of his forearms.
I wanted to say so much more, to turn to him, bury my face in his neck and blurt out exactly how I felt, ask him to tell me what he was thinking, but a shadowy figure emerged from the darkness at the far end of the street and became visible as a large man as it passed under the streetlight.
‘I think the man you mentioned is coming,’ I said.
Liuz stepped to my side and opened the curtain some more. He sighed, a shaky exhalation that made me feel sorry for him.
‘Yes, that is him.’
We stood in silence as Beefcake approached, watching him climb the front steps and jab a meaty thumb onto the bell button. It was as though we were suspended, neither one of us able to speak, both wishing we had time to digest what we’d said, to understand the ramifications of his confession and the fact that I’d hidden my true feelings. Self-preservation I know, but was it fair to leave Liuz in the dark, wondering if the feelings he had for me weren’t reciprocated?
I had no time to ponder on it, because Beefcake pressed the bell again, the expression on his face one of anger and impatience.
‘The blindfold, Hannah,’ Liuz said, voice a little rusty.
He led me back to the bed, and I sat while he covered my eyes. I could smell him, wanted to touch him, tell him everything would be all right. But I didn’t. I had the upper hand here, and until I had time to myself where I could think about everything properly, I had to maintain my usual role.
‘Are you ready?’ He placed both hands on my head, buried his fingers in my hair.
I nodded and took in a deep breath. ‘I’m doing this for you, remember that.’
‘I know.’
I switched off sweeter emotions and hauled in those that belonged to the other me. The prostitute. The slut.
The dirty bitch.
Chapter Nine
The latch clicked open.
‘Is she here?’ Beefcake’s rough voice.
‘Of course.’
‘Good.’
I heard footsteps, the slam of the door and the scrape of a lighter. The fuggy smell of smoke touched my nostrils.
‘She looks really fucking young.’ Beefcake’s voice, sudden and right next to me.
His hot breath breezed onto my chest and his body heat crept over my nakedness. He wore a strong-spiced aftershave that mingled with the tobacco and my own sexy, sweaty scent. I wondered if he’d put it on for my benefit.
‘She’s perfectly legal,’ Liuz grunted. ‘And more than willing.’
‘So you said.’
Someone grabbed my tits. Beefcake I presumed, for the thumbs that squeezed against my nipples were calloused and sharp and not as refined as Liuz’s.
I caught a gasp, more out of surprise than anything. In my black world I had no idea when anything was coming.
The fingers scuffed over my breasts, tweaking and pulling. My nipples hardened rapidly. I hated to admit it, but the immediate rough handling and the grittiness of Beefcake’s tone had my juices gushing again. He was appraising me, like goods in a store; was I something worth investing energy in?
I let out a low moan and arched my back for more stimulation.
‘Mmm, mmm,’ Beefcake murmured.
A stronger hit of smoke filled my lungs, as though it had just been blown in my face.
‘Horny little bitch, isn’t she?’ he said.
‘Oh, yeah, very.’
My heart was going like the clappers and my stomach clenched. I loved the way he was groping me. It made me feel like a real possession of Liuz’s.
‘What’s her name?’ Beefcake again.
‘I do not know. I just call her Dirty Bitch. She comes round whenever I tell her to and lets me screw her however I want.’
‘So you’ve fucked her asshole?’
‘Yes, of course.’
Beefcake pressed my right nipple in on itself. The sensation made me squirm.
He gave a gruff laugh. ‘OK, she has potential, but first we need to discuss business.’
There was a pause.
‘Oh, she will keep her mouth shut,’ Liuz said. ‘She won’t risk not coming here any more and getting what all dirty bitches need.’
How true a statement.
Again Beefcake laughed. ‘Good, but actually I have plans for her to keep her mouth open.’
He moved away and I heard one of them pull on a cigarette and blow out the smoke in a fast, tense way.
‘Over here, Dirty Bitch.’ Beefcake’s voice.
I moved to the edge of the bed. Liuz helped me stand by wrapping his hand around my upper arm and tugging. He then guided me across the room.
My knees were weak with excitement. I had no idea what was in store for me but I had a feeling it would be deliciously degrading. When I’d seen Beefcake in the warehouse he’d been vulgar and boorish, not the kind of man I would have looked twice at in the street. Liuz’s strong bony features and long, lean limbs were more my thing. But now, the thought of Beefcake doing what he pleased with me, in front of Liuz, made him just perfect.
‘On your knees,’ Beefcake instructed.
Liuz urged me down, but he didn’t need to. I dropped willingly, and as the carpet dug into my knees, Beefcake’s thighs spread around me, trapping me close against the shabby sofa.
‘What have you got to drink?’ Beefcake asked. ‘None of my watered-down poison. I want some real stuff to sup on while she sucks me off.’
Liuz let out a stiff laugh. ‘Absolutely. How about some JD. It is a new bottle.’
‘Let me see.’
There was a bang of a cupboard door, the clunk of glass and then movement at my side.
‘Yeah, that looks the real deal. Pour me a big one.’ He stroked over my hair, tugging slightly at the blindfold. ‘Now you can get my big one out, bitch.’
Heat thundered between my legs. I was going to suck his cock. Give a complete stranger a blowjob while he sat with Liuz, drinking whiskey and talking business. I was such trash, such lowlife; sucking cock was all I was good for.
Trembling with excitement, and whore sex the only thing I could think of, I reached for his dick. He’d already pulled his jeans down and all I had to do to reveal his erection was shove at his boxers.
He shifted his ass and pushed his clothing further away. A heated, raw scent drifted up to my nose. His spicy aftershave mixed with maleness and musk.
‘Get on with it,’ he barked when I took my time running my fingers up and down his meaty shaft. ‘I haven’t come here for a fucking massage.’
Quickly, I reared up. Fisted his shaft and aimed his glans at my mouth.
‘All of me, right to the back of your throat.’
I did as he asked and allowed his chunky, hot cap to slide over my tongue and palate to the very deepest part of my mouth, right to the point where my gag reflex was only a millimetre away. He tasted different to Liuz, heavier, more feral. There was a dangerous sharpness to him.
He tensed his thighs around me, squeezing my shoulders. ‘Thanks, Biros, cheers.’ There was a tinkle of glasses being touched then he slurped. ‘Keep going, bitch, keep going until I tell you to stop. Yeah, just like that.’
As the scent of cigarettes lessened, the sofa shifted slightly.
‘She is hot, yeah?’ Liuz asked, his voice now coming from my right side. ‘You like?’
‘Yeah, it’s OK for starters. But first we need to discuss some hot goods you’re supposed to have shifted for me.’ His voice was strained, but not so much that he didn’t sound in control.
‘You know I am sorry about that. But I made progress just an hour or so ago, another lead which, if sound, could have the whole pile shifted by this time next week.’
Beefcake replied but I barely listened. I was busy setting up a bobbing and sucking rhythm. Applying hot, wet, gliding pressure along the length of him with my tongue. I licked his glans when I reached the top, dipped into his slit and tongued his frenulum.
‘Ah, fuck, careful doing that.’ Pressure on my head, urging me back into my original rhythm. ‘You’ll have me blowing in your face.’
His words, his actions, and Liuz watching me give my best performance was one of the horniest moments of my life. My pussy buzzed like it was full of electricity. If I’d thought I would get away with it, I would have frigged myself off while I rode up and down on Beefcake’s dick. A few deft nudges and I would come. But I had a very strong feeling that wouldn’t be allowed.
This wasn’t about my pleasure.
I deepened my stroke, using my hands on the base of his shaft that my mouth couldn’t quite accommodate. I gave a long, hard suck ’n’-swirl right to the tip.
‘Oh, yeah, yeah, that’s it, do that again,’ Beefcake said, voice scratchy, breathy, like a gale over sandpaper. Control, it seemed, had gone.
‘Come on her tits,’ Liuz said. ‘Make her yours.’
‘Yeah, hold her for me, then. Get behind her and shove her tits together.’
Beefcake gripped my scalp, tug
ging my head up and down his shaft. My tongue was now coated in salty pre-cum and his shaft had thickened and hardened to the point that it felt un-fleshlike, more made of metal or granite. Only the slightly shifting skin at the base gave away the fact it belonged to a human.
‘Ah, ah, yeah – now!’ He shoved my head upwards, roughly, at the same time Liuz wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me standing.
I blindly flailed my arms for purchase, eventually gripping Liuz’s forearms as he mashed my breasts together and tipped me forward.
Beefcake grunted, groaned. The soft sound of friction filled my ears, and his panting breaths blasted onto my perspiring body.
Liuz was roaming his fingers over my taut nipples, plucking and pulling as he forced me lower, so I was bent over Beefcake, ready for him to come on.
‘Oh, fuck, yes, yes. I’m gonna shoot, argh –’
Beefcake’s jerking legs jostled me in Liuz’s arms as warm splatters hit my chest.
‘Ah, yeah,’ Beefcake moaned. ‘Fuck, yeah, really hot tits covered in my jizm.’
More warm cum landed on my breasts and in the hollow of my throat, immediately cooling and trickling. Liuz’s breaths blew hot and hard in my ear. His bare chest pressed up against my back made me feel loved and adored. I wished he’d kiss the side of my neck. I wished he’d throw me on the floor and fuck me stupid.
I knew he wouldn’t.
‘Ah, yeah, she’s got a good mouth,’ Beefcake panted.
Liuz tugged me backwards then released me, and I sank to the carpet.
‘Yeah, tell me about it.’
Beefcake grunted – it almost held humour.
‘You want another drink?’ Liuz asked.
‘Yeah, why the fuck not? This is my night off, after all.’
I heard the sound of pouring then Liuz was back next to me.
‘I’m gonna have this drink and then fuck her ass,’ Beefcake said.
A tremble of anticipation besieged me. My slit was already sopping and swollen, my asshole still scorched from Liuz’s invasion. The thought of Beefcake’s big dick tunnelling into me was both terrifying and deliriously sexy. Also the thought of Liuz watching me get fucked was such a turn-on. What would he do? Would he play with my clit, pull my breasts? Would he sit quiet in the corner and try to ignore another man fucking my ass?