by T J Mayhew
Memories began to flood back; the way Kay had been so understanding in the wake of Percival’s knight’s death, the way he now had normal conversations with him and wasn’t forever finding fault, the way he had wanted to protect Cai during, and after, the ambush… Maybe all that had been Kay’s way of making up for his previous behaviour.
Bowing his head, Kay continued, “I hope you accept my apology.”
Cai smiled. “Of course I do.” Pointing to his arm, Cai asked, “How does it feel?”
“A mere flesh wound,” he replied but his bravado didn’t fool Cai. His smile faltered for a moment and a deep sadness touched his eyes as he continued, “Your father was a great man, Cai, and it would be my honour to tell you about him one day.”
Cai smiled at the thought. “I’d like that,” he admitted.
Kay shifted his gaze, to avoid Cai seeing his pain as he spoke his next words. “Mordred will pay for what he took from us…” he promised. “A King, a brother… a father…” He looked directly into Cai’s eyes as he said these words. Cai watched as he clenched his right hand into a fist, recalling the day in the arena when he had first broached the subject of Mordred with Kay. “Wives, daughters… none of them mattered to him. But to those left behind…”
And suddenly, something clicked in Cai’s head. He frowned as he recalled a hushed conversation in Camelot, their final confrontation… Ailla and Kelyn, names he hadn’t thought about in so long… “Mordred killed your wife and daughter, didn’t he?” he asked cautiously.
“He didn’t just kill them,” he growled. “He had them slaughtered. I still hear their screams in my sleep…”
Lost for words, Cai stared in disbelief; he couldn’t imagine anything worse...
Kay gestured helplessly. “I wanted to save them… I tried… but I couldn’t; Morgan had cast a spell… I couldn’t move.” He shook his head, trying to cast the memory from his mind. “I could do nothing…” he said quietly. “Nothing but watch.”
The worst thing about Kay’s grief was the fact that it was so cold, so matter-of-fact. It was like he had deliberately swept his pain to one side in order to make sure he could exact a cold, and terrible, revenge on those who had taken his loved ones from him.
Searching for something comforting to say, Cai said the only words he could think of, words Kay had once found so offensive. “We will avenge their deaths,” he promised with renewed determination. Kay’s story served as a reminder of just how much everyone had lost because of one deranged man and his mother; how much was still at risk. “We’ll find Percival and then attack; they won’t know what’s hit them.” In his head, it was all so simple.
Kay chuckled despite himself. “I admire your determination, Cai.”
“I mean it,” Cai replied earnestly, suddenly much surer of this fact than he had ever been.
“I know you do,” Kay acknowledged. “And know that, no matter what, I shall stand by your side.” He offered his hand to Cai, meeting his gaze.
Cai grasped his hand, glad to be united at last, their differences finally behind them.
24
Cai glanced ahead to Lancelot, Kay and Galahad as they led the way along the forest track. It had been several days since the attack and Lancelot was eager to continue their journey before word of their victory reached Mordred; he had wanted to leave earlier but, due to the number of wounded, it had been impossible. This, coupled with Lancelot’s fury over Cai and Logan’s involvement in the battle, had made for a very tense atmosphere in camp and Cai was glad they were finally on the move again.
Their progress now was slow; they had lost some good men in the ambush, and, of those that were able to walk, most were injured. The only knights, apart from Cai, Logan and Bran, who had escaped serious harm, were Lancelot, and Galahad, although the latter had a nasty cut above his right eye that had been crudely stitched. As Cai considered their current situation, he couldn’t help but wonder what use they would be if they were attacked now; they were practically sitting ducks.
As he rode, Cai considered everything that had happened in the last few days. True to his word, Lancelot had dealt with him and Logan, laying into them both about how stupid, how foolhardy and how shortsighted they had been… The list was endless. He and Logan had just accepted everything Lancelot had thrown at them, without protest.
Following this, Cai had retreated to his tent, where he continually shunned Logan’s attempts to explain his actions on the battlefield; as far as Cai was concerned, there was no excuse: Logan had killed in cold blood, the man had been unarmed and at their mercy. It wasn’t right and it never would be, no matter how much he tried to justify it.
But worse than that, was the fact that their friendship would be forever changed. Cai now knew instinctively that there would always be that fundamental difference between them; the knowledge that Logan would always be prepared to cross that line whereas Cai never would.
“You can’t hold it against him forever.”
Bran’s voice cut into Cai’s thoughts, bringing him back to the present. Turning to him, Cai frowned. “What?”
Bran nodded towards Logan. “If he hadn’t dispatched him, I would have,” he informed Cai simply. “We cannot show mercy in times of war. At the first opportunity, he would have retaliated; we could not risk that.”
Cai shook his head adamantly. “He was unarmed,” he insisted. “He had no right…”
“He did what any one of us would have done,” Bran interrupted, indicating himself and the rest of the group. “Be thankful you have men who will protect you, at all costs.” He paused, glancing at Cai. “If I may be so bold… You must harden yourself to the realities of war, my Lord.”
Cai glowered back at Bran; he knew the knight was right but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
Bran’s gaze softened. “The war has already taken so much, do not let it take your friendship.”
Without another word, he nodded and broke away from Cai, leaving him with plenty to think about.
Stopping a short while later, Cai secured his horse and went in search of Logan. Bran’s words had struck a chord with him and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he couldn’t lose Logan’s friendship over this; they had already been through so much together, he was sure they could get through this, too.
It wasn’t long before he spotted Logan checking his horse’s saddlebag as the animal impatiently tossed its head, eager to be on the move again.
“Hey,” Cai began as he approached.
Logan glared at him, his saddlebags momentarily forgotten. “Decided to speak to me now, have you?” he demanded bitterly.
Cai ignored the barbed comment. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “For everything,” he added. “I shouldn’t have…” He glanced up to gauge Logan’s reaction.
Logan held his gaze, his expression unreadable. “No, you shouldn’t have,” he retorted. “What I did…”
Cai held up a hand, silencing him. “What you did…” he began, his voice trailing away as he strove to find the right words, “…was necessary. I accept that now,” he stated quietly. “I may never agree with it but… I accept it.”
Logan snorted. “Well, that’s very big of you, my Lord,” he muttered sarcastically.
Cai glared at him. “Look, are you going to accept my apology or not?” he demanded angrily. “Because I, for one, don’t think we need to be fighting amongst ourselves when we have much more important things to worry about.”
The boys stared at each other and, for a moment, Logan was unyielding; Cai saw anger in his eyes, anger aimed at him and he felt unnerved.
But then, in an instant, it was gone and Logan was grinning at him; turning away briefly he grasped his water skin and offered it to Cai. “Drink?”
Accepting it gratefully, Cai appreciated Logan’s attempt at getting back to normal. He took a drink and, as he handed the skin back to Logan, a shadow fell over them. He looked up to find Kay standing next to them.
Cai smiled, pleased to see Kay
looking better. Since sorting out their differences, their relationship had gone from strength to strength. As promised, Kay had spoken to Cai at length about Arthur, not the king everyone knew of but, rather, the childhood they had shared and it soon became clear to Cai that, despite his later formidable reputation, his father hadn’t been so different from him at all; he, too, had been quiet, reserved, unsure of himself in many ways. Even when he had pulled the sword from the stone, it had taken a long time for him to feel comfortable in his new role. That, in itself, heartened Cai and he had drawn strength from it.
Kay glanced expectantly between the boys. “How are you feeling?” he asked.
Cai shrugged; no one had asked him that since the battle.
Kay sighed. “Look, your first battle is always the hardest; you’re just lucky you have someone to go through it with,” he added, nodding in Logan’s direction.
Cai and Logan exchanged awkward glances; no one but Bran knew about their recent argument and they wanted it to stay that way.
Misreading the boys’ silence for guilt, Kay said, “You know… Lancelot cares for you both and he doesn’t want to see you hurt...”
“You can’t keep us out of battles forever!” Logan protested vehemently.
“I need to fight beside my men, not hide in trees like a coward!” Cai added, Logan’s indignation fuelling his own. He may have struggled in the aftermath but, during that battle, he had known that that was where he was meant to be: beside his men.
Kay laughed. “You’re definitely your father’s son! But you have to remember that your actions, however well intended, have consequences.”
His words were greeted with a silence that seemed to become more tangible with each passing second; neither boy was willing to admit Lancelot and Kay were right. Not out loud, anyway.
“Where are we?” Logan asked, changing the subject.
Kay studied their surroundings. “We are in the border territory,” he explained. “We are deep in the forests along Britain’s border with Wales.”
“How long until we find Percival?” Cai asked, hoping Kay would reveal their destination.
“Not long.”
“Do you know where we’re going?”
Kay looked at him in earnest. “Galahad has told a few of us.” He glanced at Cai. “The fewer men know, the better,” he added. “We will be there soon.” A shout from up ahead, signalled Lancelot was eager to set off again. Kay glanced at the boys. “Excuse me,” he murmured, bowing his head before walking away.
Logan watched Kay’s departure. “You two seem to have sorted things out,” he noted, glancing at Cai.
“You can’t really stay mad for long with the man who saved your life, can you?” he quipped.
Logan grinned. “No, I suppose not.” His gaze wandered to where Kay was now talking in earnest to Lancelot, who kept throwing them brief glances. “What do you think they’re talking about?”
Cai shrugged; he was too exhausted to care. He had spent too long these past few days thinking, trying to second-guess peoples’ actions; he was fed up with it. He watched the two knights for a moment and his heart sank as Lancelot approach. He nudged Logan who, upon seeing Lancelot, groaned.
“Geez, does the guy never give up?” he muttered. “He’s like a dog with a bone.” And with that, he got up and started to make a hasty exit.
“Refusing to speak to me now?” Lancelot called to him.
Logan sighed and reluctantly turned back to face him.
Standing in front of them, Lancelot studied both boys carefully.
“What you did was thoughtless,” he began calmly and seemingly unmoved by the fact that he was repeating himself for what must have been the hundredth time. “There is no denying that. But...” He sighed and cleared his throat. “But, I suppose I cannot blame you for what you did; you acted as any other boys would have.” He met Cai’s gaze. “I think I forget sometimes that you are just boys; to you, all this seems like an adventure. And believe it or not, we felt the same once.” He sighed. “But neither of you know this world as we have come to know it.” He looked intently at each in turn. “And you need to understand that this is not an adventure and you are not normal boys. One of you is a King and the other...” He looked at Logan, “The other… his protector.”
Cai glanced at Logan who shrugged in response. Looking back to Lancelot, he said, “We were just... We wanted to help; we couldn’t just stand by and watch. You say we are not normal boys... that I am a King... well, my father was a King but he fought in battles alongside his Knights and that’s what I should be doing; after all, isn’t that what you’ve been teaching me to do?”
Lancelot smiled, rubbing his forehead. “I was trying to protect you,” he argued. “Your father was my...” He swallowed before continuing. “I will always protect you. Always.”
“Thank you, but...” Cai paused, choosing his words carefully. “You keep saying that I need to be a good king but how can I be, if I let my knights die while I sit by and do nothing?”
Lancelot sighed. “Very well, I see your point, Cai. You do need to learn how to fight in a battle and you need to learn that fast.” He grinned. “You survived your first one, didn’t you?”
Cai smiled. “And I won’t get myself killed in the next, either.”
“I know you won’t; I won’t let you,” Lancelot assured him with a slight nod of his head before turning and walking away.
“Well, that went better than I expected,” Logan muttered, relieved.
Cai smiled in agreement; on seeing Lancelot approach, he had expected yet another dressing down but, instead, he had spoken to them like adults. All in all, it had gone much better than either of them had expected.
Just then, something in the dense woodland on the other side of the track caught Cai's attention; was his imagination playing tricks on him?
“Did you see that?” he demanded of Logan.
Following his line of sight, Logan shot a glance at the woodland and frowned. “See what?”
“I don’t know, exactly,” Cai murmured, watching the woods intently. “I thought I saw something,” he added, his eyes scanning the line of trees.
Logan chuckled. “Your mind’s playing tricks on you.”
Cai glanced back to his friend. “Yeah, maybe...”
Returning his gaze to the woods, Cai froze: this time he had definitely seen something; a shadow passed across his eye line and he could definitely hear rustling in the trees. Without further thought, acting purely on instinct, he grabbed his shield and drew Excalibur from its scabbard.
“Lancelot!” he cried urgently.
Lancelot swung round, startled by Cai’s sudden outburst. He watched, powerlessly, as Cai hurtled towards him brandishing his sword and shield. No one tried to step in, all too stunned to react.
Cries echoed through the trees all around them and just as Lancelot began to draw his own weapon, Cai launched himself at the knight, tackling him to the ground; Lancelot cried out in pain as he landed heavily.
Holding his shield over them, Cai caught his breath as a heavy blow made contact.
“What the...?” Lancelot gasped, pushing Cai away from him, scrambling to his feet.
They both stared in shock at the spear wedged in Cai’s shield. Cai glanced up at Lancelot who reached down and pulled him to his feet; he yanked the spear free, throwing it to one side.
“You wanted a battle...” he muttered, “it appears, you have one!”
The men they now fought were not wearing black chainmail, as Cai would have expected. These warriors had no protection other than their skill in battle, which proved to be great, despite their haggard and unkempt appearance.
Cai ran to the nearest warrior who, armed with two swords, immediately engaged him. The man was ferocious and Cai wondered if he’d be able to hold out against him; already he was beginning to feel tired and pushed to his limits. The man smiled as he began twirling his swords elaborately above his head as he moved towards Cai who took a ner
vous step back. Cai raised his shield in anticipation of the blows that would surely come, but was suddenly driven to his knees by a sudden, unexpected blow to his back, forcing the air out of him.
He tried to roll away, out of his assailant’s reach, only to be met by an onslaught of blows to his shield. He released his grip of Excalibur and used both hands to hold onto his shield but it was soon ripped away, leaving him at the mercy of his attacker.
The snarling man stood over him and grinned triumphantly as he raised his sword and brought the pommel down hard on Cai’s head.
25
Cai opened his eyes slowly as brilliant white light flooded in; he snapped his eyes shut as a searing pain shot through his head; he felt sick, as if about to throw up. It wasn’t long before he became aware that his hands were tied at the wrists and hung limply above his head. He frowned; that was weird. What was happening to him? The ground was moving and he saw horse’s hooves... Then the penny dropped: he had been tied up and thrown facedown over a horse. He tried to move his legs but found that, they too, were tied. Suddenly breathing became difficult as panic set in.
He tried to focus his thoughts; he needed to relax his body so that it didn’t feel like his lungs were being squashed between himself and the horse. Glancing to his right, he saw Logan also trussed up on a horse behind him; he had yet to regain consciousness.
As he strained to see more, a gruff voice next to him said, “You awake, sleeping beauty?” When Cai said nothing, the man prodded him roughly. “How you feeling?”
Cai ignored him.
“Hey,” the man growled, thumping him on the head. “I’m talking to you.”
Cai gritted his teeth, fighting the urge to cry. “Get lost,” he growled back.
The man chuckled. “So he does speak! Tell me something....” he began but was interrupted by a shout. The man patted Cai on the back and said, “Well, it’s been nice talking to you, but it’s time for bed. Night, night.”