“We can’t blame this one on Nathanial.”
We’d reached my bedroom and all I got from Markus was a noncommittal grunt as he held the door open for me to enter.
I hadn’t intended to follow Doctor Lossing’s orders to rest, but the massive four-post heaped with pillows and drowning in a puffy quilt called to me. “Perhaps I will lie down for just a minute.”
“You lost a lot of blood,” Markus said, walking around the bed as I flopped onto it. He flipped one half of the quilt over me, then reached in to brush stray hairs away from my stitches. “I’ll leave you to get some rest.”
“Before you go…” I shuffled upright against the pillows and patted the spot beside me.
Markus sat. “What is it?”
I thought through my words before I spoke, considered all the events of this day.
Nathanial, tossing his sword aside and holding his palms up to me. I will do it, Rose. I will wear all the scars you think I deserve. I knew Nate the boy with his easy smile and fierce protectiveness. I knew Nathanial the King with his ruthless ambitions and ice-cold heart. But this man, the one who understood how badly I’d needed to hurt him and offered to let me, I didn’t know him. And even more unsettling, I didn’t know how to hate him.
I thought about the speech I’d made to Beatrice Jones. Our kingdom was divided, loyalties split between the King and High Chancellor. Now we are united and our loyalty is shared.
I put all that together and the conclusion I drew came mainly from my head, but a little from my heart as well. It was time, time to practice what I preached.
“Nathanial wants to offer you a barony,” I said to Markus. “The Barony of Edgefield.”
His jaw slackened in confusion, then hardened. “He can keep it. My loyalty cannot be bought.”
“Your loyalty isn’t in contention,” I assured him. “I would really like you to consider it. You’ll be a fully-fledged baron with a seat on the King’s advisory council and the power to shape your life.”
“I’ve never complained about the shape of my life.”
“Just promise me you’ll think about it.”
His eyes searched me. “I’ll think about it, but I want you to think about something, too. What does Nathanial stand to gain by giving away pieces of his kingdom? First he gives you half his crown, now he gives me the founding barony.”
“It’s not from a benevolent heart, but there is method in his madness.” Usually I’d add, “and if we understand the method, we can use it to our will.” But I wasn’t feeling that indignant superiority right now. Something inside me was shifting and I was loathe to dwell on the what and why. Maybe it was just the blood loss. My head felt stuffed with cotton and my bones felt weighed with lead. “Nathanial wants you to be with us, and not against him.”
“And what do you want?” Markus pressed, not believing Nathanial and I could possibly agree on anything.
“I want—” I startled as the inter-leading door between my room and Nathanial’s burst open.
Once again, the thought of knocking hadn’t crossed his mind. He strode in, thunder riding his brow. He saw Markus perched on my bed and that storm rode lower and darker. “Leave us.”
“Not like this, I won’t.” Markus stood, squaring off with him. “You need to calm down.”
“Trust me, I am calm,” Nathanial said, his voice deathly quiet and rapier thin. “I’m the eye of the fucking storm.”
“Markus, it’s okay.” I shuffled higher up the pillows, my heart thudding. My leniency in this marriage has a limit, Nathanial had said, and he looked like he’d just reached it. “It’s better if you go.”
“I don’t have—”
“Yes you do,” I said with steel-laced authority. “I can handle this.”
Markus opened his mouth to protest and I shut him down with a steely look. He thought he needed to protect me, but it was the other way around. He hesitated another moment, then turned stiffly on his heels to go. I didn’t take another breath until the door closed behind him.
“That wasn’t what it may have looked like,” I said to Nathanial. “We were just talking.”
“I don’t give a damn about Markus.” His eyes narrowed on the row of neat stitches above my brow with barely restrained fury. Whatever he was accusing me of, it was unforgivable. “Amelia told me what happened.”
Ah, of course she’d gone running to Nathanial. I should have known I’d been wasting my breath when I asked her to hold her tongue.
“I’m fine, by the way, thanks for asking.” My gaze went to his jaw as I spoke and I immediately wished I could take back the caustic words. There was a line of crusted blood where my blade had sliced, the skin around it pink and slightly inflamed. Thank God it wasn’t deep enough to require stitches…or maybe it was and he just hadn’t bothered with the trip to Doctor Lossing.
Nathanial paced up and down beside my bed. His hands fisted, then un-fisted and then he stilled.
“I’m sorry.” The anger drained from his expression as he looked at me. “It would seem I’m not very good at this.”
The apology sounded so sincere, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it. “At what?”
He ran his fingers through his hair, dragged that hand slowly down his jaw and shook his head at whatever had been on his mind. “All that matters now is that you’re okay.”
“I wasn’t really in that much danger.”
“You were assaulted!”
“Technically, she never assaulted me,” I said. “She assaulted the window and I was in the way.”
“She?” He scowled. “It was a woman?”
“Amelia didn’t say?”
“Only that there was an incident and you’d sustained a head injury. She said I had to ask you for the details.”
It was nice to know Amelia wasn’t completely spineless when it came to her King.
“Where’s this woman?” demanded Nathanial. “Is she being held in the dungeon?”
“I let her go with a warning.”
“You let her go with a warning?” he repeated dumbly, as if he couldn’t possibly have heard right.
“A rather scathing warning,” I corrected. “I’m quite confident she’s seen the error of her ways.”
“That is not acceptable.” He stood closer, towering over the bed. “She assaulted the Queen and must face the consequences.”
“The consequences of harassment and damage to property, I agree,” I said. “But if I’d brought her in, she would have been charged with a far worse crime just because I’d been present. It’s over, Nathanial, I’ve already made the decision.”
His jaw worked. “You are too soft.”
“It was an accident.”
“Unfortunate for her, but you’re setting a precedence for others to abuse.”
“Is your kingdom really so fragile,” I shot back, “that you are worried about the masses waiting in the wings for an excuse to accidently strike us down?”
“Don’t be flippant,” he said curtly, some of that earlier anger rebounding. “It only takes one.”
He was right, of course he was.
I sobered. “I was flippant and it was uncalled for, but I do believe there can still be a place for clemency. Don’t go looking for this woman, Nathanial, let my ruling stand.”
He wrestled with his response so long, I didn’t doubt it when it came. “I would never do that to you, Rose. I wouldn’t undermine your authority.”
Not just words to soothe me while he went behind my back and did whatever he wanted. He meant it. More to the point, I trusted that he really did mean it. I trusted Nathanial, even in this small thing. The foreign sensation deep inside me shifted yet again and it felt rather good.
- 18 -
The day of the Hunt Ball arrived and that afternoon I found Mary waiting in my room, the willowy blonde who’d attended me on my wedding day.
After we’d greeted each other warmly, I had to ask, “Did the King summons you to dress me?”
“La
dy Hunt, actually.” Mary laughed. “I think she’s afraid you’ll show up in your boots and britches again.”
“I wouldn’t dare, she’s like a mother bear about her ball,” I declared as I ambled over to the wardrobe. “Okay, let’s see what we can rustle up.”
Mary groaned. “You don’t just rustle up something for a ball.”
“I’m teasing you.” I slipped the russet evening gown from its hanger. It was one of the three gowns my wardrobe had come pre-stocked with, but I liked the simple and elegant design and saw no need to fuss with fittings for another.
I showed Mary as I carried the dress to lay across the bed. “Don’t worry, I did solicit Janine Marshland’s services and she heartily approves.” Well, she hadn’t heartily disapproved.
Mary fingered the delicate gold cords that went over the shoulder while she ran an assessing eye over the soft, flowing line of the dress.
When she said nothing, I wavered, “It’s too plain. You don’t like it.”
“It all depends on how you wear it,” Mary said, reserving her judgment. “What about shoes?”
I returned to the wardrobe for the strappy gold sandals with barely an inch of heel that Janine and I had haggled over. She would have preferred I wobble and teeter and probably end up tumbling down the stairs in a highly impractical pair of three inch heels. You can’t dance flat-footed, your grace. I didn’t think the low heels would be the cause of me bumbling the River Waltz. I hadn’t taken Nathanial up on his offer and I hadn’t had any further practice sessions with Markus. I’d convinced myself I’d do just fine, but now that the day had come, I wished I’d put more effort into it.
Mary ran a warm bath, scented with rose essence, and ordered me to soak until she returned. I didn’t argue. My head was in a different space from the last time she’d tried to pamper me.
My people were getting on with their lives, they seemed contented, happy. The younger children attended proper school, even Peter out on the farm. Anna had told me the school cart came around every morning to take him to the small schoolhouse there and he’d already made some new friends his age.
Markus was still hedging about the Barony of Edgefield but I was determined to convince him. The barony wasn’t just for him, it was the beginning of a powerful legacy that would ground his children and his children’s children.
My relationship with Nathanial had eased into an amiable understanding between us that I barely recognized. We pricked less, laughed more. We didn’t talk about what had gone before and, sometimes, hours stretched one into the other where I forgot to remember.
For the first time in my adult life, I had nothing pressing on my mind, nothing to do other than soak in this tub and get ready for a ball. As surreal as it seemed, this was the life I’d been born into. This would have been my normal. I’d come full circle, a circle that started and ended with a King’s supreme right to do exactly as he wished.
But the old King was long gone. And the edges of the new, ice-veined King were blurring into the man. A man prepared to wear all the scars I felt he deserved and offered to do right by Markus. I didn’t know this Nathanial. I didn’t know how to hate him. Day by day, my stubborn grip on the past was loosening and it was just us, here and now, King and High Chancellor sworn to pull and keep this kingdom together.
Mary had been to the garden and she perched on the bed, twining a chain of daisies while I slipped into the russet gown. When she came to look over my shoulder in the mirror, our eyes met and she smiled.
“I thought perhaps it wasn’t fancy enough for a ball,” she said, “but it’s perfect. You wear it glamorously.”
I rolled my eyes at her, secretly disagreeing. This dress wore me, not the other way around. I couldn’t help but feel beautiful in it. The dainty cords crisscrossed over my bare shoulders and the heart-shaped bodice was stiffened to mould the swell of my breasts. From there, the soft fabric clung to my curves and dropped into a flowing twirl at my ankles.
Mary sat me down at the vanity and I allowed her free reign. She dabbed berry paste on my lips and stroked my lids with kohl, making my eyes appear smoky and mysterious. We decided to leave my hair loose with a side parting to fall over the stitches at my brow. She was threading the daisy chain into the parting when I felt Nathanial’s eyes on me.
I hadn’t heard him enter, but when I turned in my chair, there he was, leaning against the wall across the room, his hooded gaze soaking into me. He wore dark pants and an evening jacket, white shirt opened at the throat with a thin, starched collar. His hair was scraped back into a short ponytail, leaving nothing to soften any of those chiselled angles.
He reminded me of the painting of a panther stalking through long grass in one of the reception rooms downstairs. Sleek and primal, raw power leashed into every aspect of his being.
“Your grace.” Mary dipped a curtsey to him, then put a hand on my shoulder and leant in. “You look gorgeous,” she whispered. “Have a wonderful time tonight.”
“Thank you.” I stood, smiling at her. “Thank you for everything.”
“My pleasure.” She dipped another curtsey toward Nathanial and fled the room.
He pushed from the wall, advancing on me with that long-limbed stride and lazy grin. “You take my breath away.”
My skin flushed beneath the intensity of his gaze. “You don’t scrub up too badly yourself.”
“That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.” He slid a hand inside his jacket pocket and retrieved a flat, black velvet box, unclipped the lid to reveal a delicate gold choker studded with three dazzling diamonds.
“It’s beautiful,” I exclaimed. “But you really don’t need to keep giving me jewellery.”
“I certainly don’t,” he said with a low chuckle. “You have the entire royal collection at your disposal.”
“I do?”
“My Royal Steward keeps it under lock and key,” he said. “Get Jeremy to arrange a viewing with Charles as and when you require. But the sapphires and these…” He lifted the choker out. “I had reset specially for you. May I?”
I scooped my hair aside and offered him my back, and discovered there was something intrinsically sensual about a man dressing you in diamonds. Nathanial took his sweet time, his presence folded around me as he slowly adjusted the choker around my throat, his breath against my cheek, fingers brushing my nape as he fastened the clip. I breathed him in, pine and ash and a trace of something spicy that heightened my senses.
When he was done, his palm slid down my neck and landed on my shoulder. The slightest pressure and I turned to him, trapped by his arm on one side, free to dash away on the other. The story of our marriage, half trapped and half free.
His eyes hitched on the tiny row of stitches above my brow and darkened. He still had murderous thoughts about the woman who’d dared to assault me, accidently or not, but he said nothing.
My gaze dipped to his jaw. The skin was no longer inflamed, just a raised pink line about two inches in length where the cut had sealed. I had to be the worst wife in the history of mankind, but I said nothing about the wound I’d inflicted on him.
We didn’t talk about our scars, else we’d have to talk about the ones who’d put them there.
His hand dropped from my shoulder and we made our way downstairs to the carriage that awaited us. There was no avoiding old creepy crawly tonight. We would arrive in style and with a full escort of Markus, David and three of the King’s Guard riding at our backs.
I’d never been to the Hunt estate before and it wasn’t nearly as far out as I’d presumed. After less than a half-hour of jostling on the dirt-packed road, we passed through massive wrought iron gates with gold ‘H’s engraved on each post.
We drove through thick forest for another five minutes before the residence was suddenly upon us in a blaze of light, the shape of a horseshoe around a cobbled courtyard. The light was electric, although the bulbs were encased in lanterns fastened to the walls of both the inner and outer rings. The buildin
g was single-storey, stone and glass, and I imagined when the lights were off, it would blend naturally into the forest that pushed up from all sides.
We pulled up before the entrance and a uniformed footman hurried down the wide stone steps to help us out. I recognized him and smiled in greeting. Amelia’s been pilfering from the castle to boost her staff numbers. The carriage pulled away, followed by our escort. They’d stay close, but hopefully find refreshments and something to entertain them for the next few hours. Markus actually had his own invite to the ball, but he’d insisted he’d rather perform his duty. If I had my way, he’d be performing his duty as Lord Edgefield at the next ball.
Nathanial’s hand rested lightly on the small of my back as we climbed the steps. String music, warm laughter and more light spilled from the set of oak doors that stood ajar, drawing us in like a pair of open arms. Another set of doors were flung wide open just across the flagstone foyer, giving me a glimpse of the milling guests to go with the festive sounds.
Memories fluttered my pulse, memories that had never been mine. Attending my first ball, nervous and excited, stepping into the limelight when Nate asked me to dance. He would have. He would have looked at me in my grown-up dress and made-up hair and he wouldn’t have laughed. He’d always been serious when it counted. He would have smiled that smile that pressed a boyish dimple in his cheek and escorted me onto the dancefloor as if I were a young lady and not the brat he horsed around with.
“Hey…” Nathanial’s fingers spread over the hollow of my back. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” I realized I’d paused on the threshold and started moving, one step and then our hosts were there to welcome us, Amelia in an exquisite evening gown that looked as if it had been spun from pure gold thread.
“Don’t you know it’s bad form to outshine the hostess?” she exclaimed, her green eyes sparkling with humour. Before I could respond, she linked her arm in mine and swept me along. “Now that you’re here, let’s get this ball started.”
“Oh, are we late?”
“A King is never late,” Nathanial drawled from behind. “Everyone else is early.”
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