by Penny Tangey
‘Do you need any help?’ asks Morgan.
‘Well, do you know how to set this up?’ he asks.
Morgan looks at me and rolls her eyes. ‘Yes,’ she says.
We set up the PlayStation for Mr Parks. Morgan whispers to me that he must be stupid, but that is not true, Mr Parks is good at other things.
I can’t believe today is SingStar day. In many ways, I’m not ready. We practised a bit at the start of the week, but since we started playing Royal Families we haven’t had much time. We have been playing every lunchtime and recess. Kaylee has started playing too. She is Camilla Parker Bowles. She doesn’t get a crown but she says she doesn’t care. Yesterday we even got Mr Parks to be Prince Philip. Morgan was happy because she got to be married to him. I said that to Rory and he said, ‘I think you’re thinking of yourself.’
The bell rings and the rest of the class come back in. We have to divide ourselves into teams. Morgan and I are going together, of course, but we need two other people on our team. The only people left are Rory and Brendan, boys. At first I want to make a complaint that it’s not fair that we have to go with boys, but Morgan says not to be so immature and Rory is the best singer in the class.
We decide to call our team, ‘Team GB’, to stand for Team Girls and Boys, because all the rest of the teams are all boys or all girls, and also Morgan really likes England.
First of all April, Charlotte, Brianna and Julia sing against our team.
April is a really bad singer. I don’t even know why she wanted to have a SingStar day because she can’t do it, even though she can practise at home.
Julian boos April and Mr Parks says Julian won’t get a turn if he continues to behave that way. Julian says he doesn’t want a turn because SingStar is –
Mr Parks says that’s enough and Julian has to go to Time-Out.
Imagine wasting the class treat day by getting sent to Time-Out!
First on our team is Brendan, who is also a bad singer but he makes it funny because he knows he is bad at it and he pretends to take it seriously. The whole class is laughing and laughing.
Charlotte sings next and she is okay, but only okay, I’m afraid. When I sing, I am not the best, but I am also not the worst. Morgan sings and she is the best girl so far. Our team beats April’s team easily.
Then we sing against the four other teams in the class and we beat them all. It is mainly because of Morgan and Rory. At the end, Brendan gives us all high-fives and says, ‘Go Team GB!’ Rory looks like he is going to cry he is so happy and Morgan and I can’t stop grinning. It’s not just winning that made it fun; it is great being part of a team.
It is the best day at school ever. Although, maybe the day we got the thirty marbles in the jar was even better, because we still had the treat to look forward to. Dad Ben says that Christmas Eve is his favourite day, because it is even more fun to look forward to the presents and the food than to have them. He may have a point.
After school Mum takes me to the hospital to talk to Sandra. Mum’s friend, Brenda, is looking after Rhys at home.
While I wait for her, I do a drawing of SingStar day.
Sandra wants to talk about the pictures I’ve been doing. She asks me all about who I’ve drawn and my feelings. She isn’t like Lara – she’s not interested in talking about drawing techniques or shading or anything – so I don’t learn anything new.
She asks me why I draw the people so small.
‘So I don’t waste the pencils,’ I say.
She asks me if I ever feel shy at home or at school.
I tell her I don’t know.
Sandra says maybe I could start writing about how I feel underneath the pictures since it seems challenging for me to talk about it.
10
And More
It is school assembly on Monday. Mrs Anselma announces that Robbie Lardner has won the Certificate of Recognition for Leadership for assisting a preppie who fell over and broke his arm. Robbie helped the preppie to the staffroom and bought him a Golden Gaytime to distract him. Robbie is really nice. I remember when I won my certificate but that is old news now.
Robbie goes up to the front and Mrs Anselma hands him the certificate. Robbie looks a bit embarrassed, but I think he should be proud of himself.
After assembly we all have to practise bush dancing. We are allowed to pair up girls with girls and boys with boys. I dance with Morgan. She doesn’t know the moves very well because they didn’t do the heel-and-toe polka at her old school in Wagga Wagga.
At recess I don’t want to play Royal Families. We’ve all been shot and come back to life so many times that it is getting silly.
I guess nothing lasts forever.
I get out my book and read while the others keep playing. The book is very good. It is called, Horses, Ponies and More! It is a non-fiction book about horses, ponies, donkeys et cetera.
At the end of the day Mr Parks gives us a note to take home about Grandparents and Friends Day, which will be in two weeks. We are all supposed to invite a Grandparent or Friend. I’ve never met my grandparents. They live in Horsham. Mum told us they were dead but then they sent us a Christmas card. Mum said when she said dead, she meant better off dead.
Also, Nana Dad Ben can’t come because she is in Broome at the moment, living in a caravan. Sometimes she sends me a postcard.
On the way out of the classroom I hear April say she is going to invite all four of her grandparents, which seems greedy.
I ask Morgan who she is bringing. She is going to ask her nan and pop. They are both lawyers. I have never seen a lawyer except on television.
*
We have to go back to the hospital after school because Rhys has an appointment. We are in a different part of the hospital than usual. Mum tells me to stay in the waiting room while they see the doctor.
I have my drawing journal so I draw a page of different kinds of horses. I’m supposed to write about my feelings too, so I try to do that.
Now I’ve finished my drawing I having nothing to do. Mum told me she might be an hour. I stand up and walk over to the lifts. If Mum comes back while I’m gone I will say I just went to the toilet. She can’t stop me going to the toilet, it is against the Geneva Convention.
I take the lift to Lara’s floor and walk along the corridor to the nurses’ desk. I ask if it’s okay for me to visit Lara and she goes to check and then tells me that Lara wants to see me.
Lara is lying in bed.
‘Hello,’ I say.
‘Hi, Stevie. Long time, no see. How are you?’
‘I’m fine.’
‘Where have you been hiding?’
‘Well, Rhys is home now, so I don’t come to the hospital as much anymore.’ Then I ask, ‘How are you?’
‘Good,’ she says. ‘Guess what?’
I can’t guess. ‘What?’
‘I’m going out on the weekend.’
‘That’s good!’ Lara must be feeling better even though she looks a bit grey.
‘I’m going to visit my horse, Finnigan.’
‘That is so good!’
‘Hey, Stevie?’ says Lara.
‘Yes?’
‘Do you want to come?’
‘Can I?’
‘Yeah, sure you can. Can you get here at ten on Saturday morning?’
I nod. For something as good as this I will make it happen.
‘You have to be here by ten otherwise the whole plan won’t work.’
‘I’ll be here. I promise. It’s going to be so great.’
‘Just one thing – don’t tell your mum we’re going to visit Finnigan. I don’t want any adults to know.’
‘Why?’
‘They wouldn’t understand.’
‘But won’t we get in trouble?’
‘To be honest, we might. But life’s too sh
ort.’
‘I’m not sure . . .’
‘If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I understand.’
I don’t want Lara to think I’m a wimp. ‘No, I want to.’
This won’t be easy, but it will be worth it because I will get to meet a proper horse, up close. But it’s not all about me. I am also pleased that Lara will get to see Finnigan again. I can’t imagine what it must be like to be separated from your own horse.
*
In the car on the way home I tell Mum that Morgan is having her birthday at the McDonald’s near the hospital on Saturday.
‘Can you drive me?’ I ask.
‘Jeez, Stevie,’ says Mum. ‘What’s wrong with the Macca’s in Frankston?’
‘Morgan likes going into the city because she doesn’t get to very often.’
‘Can’t Morgan’s parents take you?’
‘No. They have a full car because Morgan’s cousins are coming too.’
‘As if we don’t spend enough time driving in and out of the city.’
‘Yeah, but only because of Rhys. We’re always going to the hospital for Rhys. Why can’t we just once go to the McDonald’s for me?’
Mum thinks about it for a while. I don’t say anything else. In my experience, if you try to pressure her, she is more likely to say no.
Mum says, ‘Well, I guess I could drop you off and then I could visit Helen. I’ll think about it. But I’m not promising.’
Not promising is a good sign.
11
Jet-black Gelding
At recess Teegan asks me and Morgan if we want to play Kidnappers, which is a new game she invented. You need a lot of people to play, so Teegan also asks Brianna, April and Charlotte but only Brianna says yes. Then Rory and Brendan come over and want to know what we’re doing. So we let them play too.
We draw pieces of paper out of a hat to see who we’re going to be. I am a bit disappointed because my piece of paper is blank so I’m not the Kidnapper. Oh well, you can’t have everything.
Teegan is the Detective. That means she will be trying to discover who the Kidnapper is.
We walk around the school minding our own business. Anyone could be the Kidnapper so we are suspicious of each other and no-one wants to walk around together. I could stay with Teegan, which would mean I would never get kidnapped, but that would be boring and life is too short.
I do a lap of the basketball court but nothing happens. I walk past the library. Brianna is coming straight towards me so I quickly turn the other way. I look over my shoulder to see if she’s following me but she isn’t. So maybe she isn’t the Kidnapper.
I see Teegan and wave at her. She just frowns back at me. For all she knows, I could be the Kidnapper.
Nothing is happening; this game is not as much fun as I thought. I walk towards the back fence. And that’s when I see it. A row of legs are poking out from behind the bushes. I walk towards the bushes and see Brianna, Morgan and Kaylee sitting on the ground.
‘We’ve been kidnapped!’ says Morgan.
‘Oh my God!’ I say. ‘I’ll go get Teegan to rescue you!’
‘Come here first – I need to show you something,’ says Morgan.
I bend down and she taps me on the shoulder. ‘You’re kidnapped too,’ she says.
‘What?’ I say.
‘Morgan’s the Kidnapper,’ says Brianna. ‘Sit down.’
Morgan was pretending to be kidnapped when all along she was really the Kidnapper! It was a good trick.
I sit down beside Morgan. Now we just have to wait to see if Teegan finds us. The anticipation is hard to take.
‘I would hate to be kidnapped in real life,’ says Brianna.
‘Me too,’ I say.
‘I wouldn’t mind being kidnapped,’ says Morgan. ‘It would be exciting. As long as they didn’t murder me or anything horrible.’
‘Yeah, being murdered would be heaps worse,’ says Kaylee.
‘On the weekend I read a story in the paper about a girl who was kidnapped and then murdered,’ says Morgan. ‘They found her chopped up in a bag in a caravan.’
‘That is horrible!’ says Brianna.
‘She was only in Grade 5 too,’ says Morgan. ‘Our age.’
‘It is so sad to think of someone our age dying,’ says Kaylee.
‘It’s tragic,’ says Morgan.
Morgan starts telling the others about her dream funeral. I have heard it all before.
I stick my legs further out the bushes.
The others keep talking. I think about the weekend. I can’t wait to see Finnigan. Maybe I will even get to ride him. That would be the best. In the pictures Lara drew, Finnigan is a jet-black gelding with a black mane and tail. He looks big, at least sixteen hands. Lara must miss Finnigan so much. If I had a horse I would never want to be away from it, even for a minute.
Morgan is talking really loudly. ‘It’s true!’ she says. ‘Stevie’s brother does so too have cancer.’
Kaylee looks at me. ‘Really?’ she says.
‘She won’t talk about it,’ says Morgan. ‘My mum says she’s repressed.’
‘She doesn’t have to talk about it if she doesn’t want to,’ says Brianna.
‘But we’re all talking about our feelings and she won’t join in. It’s like she doesn’t trust us.’
‘Mum says we shouldn’t talk about it if she doesn’t want to,’ says Brianna. ‘Leave her alone, Morgan.’
‘Yeah, she doesn’t have to talk about it,’ says Kaylee.
The bell rings. We see Rory and Brendan on the way back to the portable. They are disappointed they didn’t get kidnapped. Teegan is disappointed she didn’t catch the Kidnapper, which means Morgan won. But Morgan is not happy, she is really mad.
When I arrive home from school Rhys is watching the television as usual. I never get to watch what I want to anymore. Rhys always has first choice.
Angel is sitting on the couch with Rhys. She wags her tail when I come in, but she doesn’t jump down to say hello. She is too comfortable.
I put some bread in the toaster in the kitchen.
‘Do you want some toast, Rhys?’ I yell.
‘No.’
When I come back to the lounge room with my toast Rhys is asleep on the couch.
This is a good opportunity. I go to Rhys’s room, take the stopper out of the motorbike savings jar, turn it upside down and shake out some coins. I count the money when I get to my room. It’s all silver coins – only two dollars. I get out my favourite sock, untie the knot, put the coins in, retie the sock and push it to the back of the drawer.
Rhys is still asleep in the lounge room, so I change the channel. Rhys doesn’t wake up. While I’m watching the television, I draw about the day.
12
A Dream Come True
At lunchtime Teegan comes up to the bench and asks us if we want to play Kidnappers again. I would like to but Morgan says no.
‘Why don’t you want to play?’ I ask.
‘It’s boring after a while.’
‘But it’s boring sitting here with just us two.’
‘Fine then, go and play with your new friends.’
Morgan stands up and walks off.
So she is mad at me again.
Teegan sits beside me.
‘I thought you were going to play Kidnappers?’ I say.
‘We don’t have enough people. Do you want to play handball?’
‘Okay.’
Teegan and I play handball. Brendan and Rory come over and watch us. Teegan asks them if they want to play, and they say yes. When the bell rings I am tired, but in a good way.
When I get home from school, Rhys is sitting on the couch in the lounge room, but for once he is not watching television. David is with him.
‘Do you want
to play a game, Stevie?’ David says.
‘Rhys doesn’t like games,’ I say.
‘Yes I do,’ says Rhys.
‘No you don’t. You said games were for idiots.’
‘When did I say that?’ says Rhys
‘Heaps of times. And when Cameron was over you said you’d rather stick pins in your eyes. Then you said you’d beat me to death if I didn’t leave you alone.’
David laughs. ‘So do you want to play?’ he asks.
‘Yes.’
I get out the Monopoly board. David has some very good strategies. He buys all the cheaper streets and builds lots of houses. After a while Rhys gets tired, and then he falls asleep.
David calls his mum to come and get him.
Mum comes out of the kitchen to say goodbye. ‘Thanks for coming, David,’ she says. ‘It means a lot to Rhys to have at least one friend come to visit.’
‘Cameron’s always asking after him at school,’ says David.
‘Good for Cameron,’ says Mum. ‘What a great effort.’
There’s a gravel scrunching sound as a car pulls into the driveway.
‘That’ll be Mum,’ says David quickly. ‘Thanks for having me.’ And he rushes out the door.
At the end of the week Morgan asks me if I want to go to her house on Saturday to play suffragettes.
‘I can’t,’ I say. ‘Mum’s busy.’
‘My dad could pick you up,’ she says.
‘No, I don’t think I can.’ I am going to meet Lara’s horse Finnigan tomorrow. I would not give that up for the world, and anyway I have promised.
Morgan picks up her backpack and walks off.
‘Where are you going?’ I ask.
‘It’s a secret,’ she says. ‘Just like all your secrets.’
As Dad Ben would say, Morgan will have to build a bridge and get over it.
When I wake up on Saturday I remember straight away that it is Finnigan day. I am not going to lie around. I get up and put on my horse T-shirt. I like to wear my horse T-shirt on special days and this is a very special day. I have met horses before, like Star, but there has always been a fence between us, whereas I might get to actually ride Finnigan. We will go galloping through the paddock. The wind will whip through my hair and I will hear the thud, thud, thud of Finnigan’s hooves as they pound underneath me like waves against the shore.