by M. Z. Kelly
We were approaching the pool and adjacent hot tub where our victim was located. “I’m not sure what you mean?”
“Like I said, I’ve never worked homicide. I have this thing…”
I saw that his eyes were fixed on the victim, who was floating in water that had turned red from the blood. It looked like he’d been shot in the head.
“I’m sorry,” Harvey Gluck said, bending over and vomiting. It wasn’t bad enough that my new partner had a weak stomach. He was also a bad aim. When he turned away from the body, he turned in my direction, and barfed all over my best pair of Jimmy Choo flats.
CHAPTER THREE
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I said, jumping away from my new partner at the same time I pulled Bernie with me. I yanked off my shoes that had been slimed in the Gluck upchuck. “Damn it.”
“Sorry,” he managed, just before he did another knee bend and went back for a second round of the Barf-o-Rama.
I walked away and found a hose near the pool where I took a moment to clean up. When I came back over to him it looked like my partner had finally finished emptying what was left in his stomach.
Gluck wiped his mouth. “I was afraid this was going to happen.” His buttery brown skin was now almost the same color as his eyes that I now decided were puke green.
“You’ve never seen a dead body before?”
He shook his head. “I…I made a habit of avoiding them…because…” He sucked in a breath. “I have a medical condition.”
“What kind of condition?”
“It’s called necrophobia, the fear of dead bodies. I’m afraid it’s nothing that I have any control over.”
I turned away from him, shaking my head. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I turned back after a moment. “Why in the hell did you want to work homicide then?”
He continued to wipe his mouth. Some of the fake tan color was coming back into his face. “I thought it would be the best way for me to get to know the real Hollywood. I’m a big fan.”
I brushed a hand through my curly brown hair that had grown out to shoulder length over the past few weeks. I sighed. “Let me guess. You want to be an actor.”
He nodded and his voice pitched higher, leaving the fake baritone behind. “I’m taking some acting classes, making the rounds of all the studios and looking for part-time work.”
I took a step closer to him, but then stepped back in fear of getting slimed again. “Listen to me. You are my partner. We are homicide cops. There are going to be dead bodies. It comes with the territory. You’ve got to find a way to get past this and get a grip.”
He smiled. Despite all the barfing his teeth were perfectly straight and as white as fresh snow, probably also fake. “I’ll do my best. I promise.”
I drew in a long breath and let it out slowly before giving Bernie the hand signal to stay. I then walked over to the hot tub where I put on some latex gloves. I reached down, pulling the victim over to the side.
Jiggy Biggs was a large black man, probably in his mid-thirties, maybe pushing three hundred pounds. It looked like two rounds had entered through the back of his bald head before exploding through his face, taking with it a large portion of his lower jaw.
I released the body and saw that Gluck was turning green again and walking away in a hurry. I was cursing my fate as I stood up and noticed the coroner coming from the residence. I removed my gloves, walked over, and hugged my friend.
“What have we got here?” Dr. Brie Henner asked. The deputy coroner was in her early thirties, a beautiful black woman who I knew was recovering from a divorce. We’d become friends over the past few months, bonding over our relationship troubles.
I motioned to the victim. “Jimmy Biggs, age thirty-four. From what little I know, so far, he was found by another realtor who works with him on the TV show Hollywood Gold.”
“I’ve seen the program a couple of times.” She smiled, her brows lifting. “Lots of drama and inflated egos.”
I cut my eyes back to the victim for a moment, then to Brie. “He’s also a former hip hop artist with some hit songs. Won’t know much more until I begin the questioning.”
Brie nodded in the direction of my new partner. “He doesn’t look good…oh no.”
I turned in time to see Gluck do another knee bend and purge. I turned back to Brie. “Just my luck. I get a homicide partner who barfs at the sight of dead bodies.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Maybe I’ve got something in my bag that can help with the nausea.”
I thanked her and told her that I’d meet up with her later. I called over to my partner when he came up for air. “Let’s start the interviews. We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”
After Gluck accepted Brie’s offering of medication, he took a few minutes to get himself under control in one of the bathrooms. In the meantime I met up with Natalie and Mo in an upstairs office.
“Just so you know,” Mo said, curling a finger around a strand of her purple wig hair, as I took a seat after Bernie settled in a corner, “baby sis and me owe it to Jiggy to solve this case.” She looked at Natalie. “It’s sistahs helping mistas.”
“Chugga…chugga…zoom zoom, the sistahs go boom boom.” Natalie must have seen my confusion. “The first part is from one of Jiggy’s songs. The second part is what we’re gonna do to the dirty lumpfish that whacked Mr. Big.”
“That’s Jiggy’s nickname on a count of what we heard he’s packing downstairs,” Mo explained. “And we ain’t talking ‘bout no snub nosed thirty-eight.”
I did an eye roll. “Both of you need to listen to me. This is my case, my investigation. You can’t be involved.”
Mo looked at Natalie and grinned. “I think we heard that somewhere before.” She looked back at me. “Maybe you should just carry ‘round a recorder, play what you just said once a week or so.”
My friends had a habit of interfering in my cases, something I’d tolerated on occasion. I was exhausted and in no mood for their meddling.
“So how did things go with the hunky cowboy?” Natalie asked, probably trying to take the heat off them both by changing the subject.
Despite my best efforts to stay on task I smiled. “Pretty well.”
Mo grinned and looked at Natalie as Gluck came through the door. “I’ll betcha Kate wore his riding chaps when they done the dirty deed.”
“Kate’s vagina went to the rodeo,” Natalie added.
I looked over at Gluck who was smiling despite his condition. I blushed, cleared my throat, and then introduced my friends to my new partner.
Natalie gave him the once over. “You look like you’ve got the flu.”
“Are you contagious?” Mo asked, folding her big arms across her enormous breasts. “Cause if you are, you need to leave. My health is important to me and I don’t wanna catch some nasty ass germ from you.”
My friends have a way of saying exactly what’s on their minds, holding nothing back.
“It’s…it’s nothing…like that,” Gluck stammered. “I’m not contagious.”
“He’s got this thing about dead bodies,” I explained. “It’s nothing you can catch.”
“What?” Mo said, her gaze flicking back to my new partner. “And you’re a homicide cop?”
“I have a…a condition. I’m not use to being around dead bodies.”
Natalie looked at me. “Your new partner is a corpse virgin. He needs to suck it up.”
Suck it up was probably not the best choice of words, given my partner’s medical issue.
Gluck looked at me, the irritation in his voice evident. “I won’t stay here and listen to them disparage me.”
I was about to respond when Mo said, “Honey, you ain’t heard nothing yet. We haven’t said nothing ‘bout that knock-off Armani suit you’re wearing. What’d you do, pay fifty bucks for it in one them back alleys off Melrose?”
“And you’re eyes,” Natalie said. “Where’d you get those contacts? You look like a cat caught in some
headlights, ‘bout to become road kill.”
“All right,” I said, seeing that Gluck’s color was now going from green to red. “Let’s talk about what’s going on here. Tell me about how you found the body.”
“Like I said when I called you,” Natalie began, turning away from my new partner who slumped down in a chair next to me. “We were out with that bloke, Jerry King, who I met while we were on vacation. He was gonna show us some rentals, when he said he needed to stop by and see his friend, Jiggy.”
“They’re partners on the TV show,” Mo added.
I nodded “Hollywood Gold.”
Natalie went on, “It was Jerry and Jiggy against those other two rat turds on the series who were always trying to steal their clients.”
“You mean Wesley and Gloria?” Gluck asked. It didn’t surprise me that my new partner was familiar with the show, given his fascination with Hollywood.
“That would be the dirty duo,” Mo said. “Nothing but a couple of Hollywood gold diggers if you want my opinion.”
“Are they married?” I asked.
Mo looked at me like I was just officially declared brain dead. “Hell no. Breen’s as gay as a sunny day by the bay. And Gloria…she’s…”
“A bitch with two T’s,” Natalie added. “That woman would sell her mother to her crack head brother.”
“She is rather driven,” Gluck agreed.
“Me and baby sis are gonna put Gloria at the top of our suspect list,” Mo said.
“Do you think she had a motive to kill Biggs?” I asked, ignoring her attempt to insert herself into my case.
Her big shoulders went up and came down. “That’s your job.” She eyeballed Gluck. “And it looks like you’re gonna be on your own.”
After I sent my friends home, Gluck and I took the stairs to the third floor where Biggs’ partner, Jerry King, was waiting for us. On the way, my new partner said, “Your friends…they don’t like me.”
I stopped on the upstairs landing and regarded him. “Don’t take it personally. They’re just very direct. You’re going to need to develop a thick skin when you’re around them.”
He sighed. “Maybe it was a mistake—working homicide. I’m starting to have some doubts.”
Even though I also had my doubts, I felt sorry for him. News of his queasy stomach would probably make the rounds of our division by morning, making him easy prey for other cops who loved to exploit a weakness.
“Cheer up.” I said and then lied, “Sometimes a rough start means a smooth landing.”
We found Jerry King waiting for us in an upstairs bedroom that had a large oval table and chairs. There was a white board on the wall with addresses and lots of dollar signs and numbers, all of them in the million dollar range. I realized that Biggs had probably used the room for his real estate meetings.
“I can’t believe what’s happened,” King said after introductions, as Gluck and I settled in at the table. Bernie took the opportunity to resume his nap under the table. “I just saw Jiggy earlier today. He was…” King’s eyes filled with tears and he couldn’t go on.
“Any idea who might want to kill him?” I asked after giving him a moment.
The realtor was handsome, with a boyish face and even features. He had straw colored hair, probably the result of a lot of time and money spent at one of the local upscale salons. I glanced over at Gluck’s highlights, thinking maybe they frequented the same establishment.
King shook his head and let out a long breath. “Not really. I mean, in this business there’s always problems with clients and other agents but no one in particular comes to mind.”
“We heard that Jiggy had lots of issues with Breen and Powers,” Gluck said, regaining his cultivated baritone.
“Yes, but it was just part of the show. Our producer has a saying, something along the lines of, ‘life’s a bitch but drama makes you rich.’ He wanted lots of conflict on the show so we all gave it to him.”
“And your producer…”
Gluck interrupted, his face glowing with excitement. “Barry Steiner. He’s a major player in the industry. He’s also mega-rich.”
King nodded. “He heard what happened and is coming in on a flight from Vegas tonight.”
“I understand that you stopped by here with my friends to meet with Mr. Biggs tonight. What was the meeting about?”
“I had a lead on a property that I thought we could co-list and work together on selling.”
“And was Biggs interested?”
“Of course. No matter how overpriced the dump, we never pass up a listing.”
“Where were you earlier in the day?” Gluck asked, going back to the Morgan Freeman voice.
King fiddled with the buttons on his shirt sleeve. “I was with clients most of the day until I took Natalie and her friend out. My secretary can give you a list.” He met my partner’s shiny jade eyes. “You can’t believe that I had anything to do with Jiggy’s death?”
“Everyone’s a suspect until we make an arrest,” Gluck said.
King pushed out a heavy breath and borrowed one of Lieutenant Edna’s adjectives. “I can’t fucking believe this.”
“Tell me about Mr. Biggs,” I said. “Was he married?”
“Divorced about two years ago. His ex, Leila, took him for a lot of money. From what Jiggy told me he was still paying her alimony.”
“What about a girlfriend?” Gluck asked, scribbling notes in a pad.
“Coco. If you watch the show you’ve probably seen her but she’s hardly the type to do something like this. I think she was completely devoted to Jiggy.”
“I could bring up a segment of the show,” Gluck said, turning to me as inspiration apparently struck him. “I’ve got an app on my phone.”
Since I’d never seen the TV show I agreed. In a moment we were watching a video clip where our victim and Jerry King were arguing with Wesley Breen and Gloria Powers. Breen was handsome, a bit on the fussy side, and impeccably groomed. Powers looked to be about thirty. She wore a low-cut dress that showed off what was probably the best work of one of the local plastic surgeons. The scene turned ugly when a pretty woman with platinum blonde hair took the side of Biggs and King and tried to break up the argument.
“That’s Coco,” Gluck said, pointing to the blonde woman. She’s ho...I mean, easy on the eyes.”
The segment had something to do with one of King’s clients making a lowball offer on a property listed by Breen and Powers. It ended with Gloria Powers throwing a cocktail on Coco and Jiggy before she stomped out of the room. I thought I now understood what Natalie had meant about Gloria Powers being a bitch with two T’s. They probably stood for tits and trouble, depending upon your perspective.
I turned back to King whose eyes were watering again. “It looks like your co-stars weren’t very fond of Jiggy, or Coco for that matter.”
He shrugged. “It was all staged. In reality we all got along pretty well.”
“Anybody you can think of who might have wanted to harm Mr. Biggs, maybe clients, coworkers, someone from his past?”
King brushed a tear. “From what I knew, there was some gang stuff in the past related to his music, but I think it was ancient history. Jiggy hadn’t cut a record in almost three years and had pretty much moved on from that world.”
I gave King my card and told him to call if he thought of anything that was important. After he was gone I walked down the hallway with Gluck and said, “Any thoughts?”
“He seemed believable but it couldn’t hurt to dig a little into his financial relationship with the victim. You never know about partnerships.”
“I agree.” When we got downstairs I tugged on Bernie’s leash. “I’m going to talk to the coroner. You can stay behind if you’re not feeling up to it.”
Gluck trailed behind Bernie and me as we walked through the living room, saying, “I’ve got to find a way to get past this. I think the pill your friend gave me helped settle my stomach.”
We found Brie Henne
r in the backyard, making some notes. The department’s SID, or Scientific Investigation Division, had arrived. Technicians were removing the body, using a portable hoist because of the victim’s size and weight. He came up out of the water looking worse than when I’d examined him earlier. The gaping wounds to his head resulted in the discharge of some brain tissue into the water.
“Son of a bitch,” I heard Gluck saying, before running off to a secluded spot in the yard to resume his earlier purge.
“Guess I should have given him something stronger,” Brie said, smiling over at him.
“Yeah, like a stomach.” I sighed, brushed the hair out of my eyes and walked to the other side of the yard with her. I let Bernie sniff through a flower bed as I changed the subject. “How are things going with your house hunt?” I chuckled and added, “I guess it’s a good thing you didn’t use anyone involved in Hollywood Gold.”
“Too expensive for my taste. I’m just looking for a little apartment, but with rents the way they are I’m having trouble finding anything.”
“It looks like I’ll also be looking for a place. My landlord is moving, renting out our house on short notice.”
“Really? If you find something with an extra room let me know. I’ll be happy to share expenses.”
I told her that I would keep her in mind and then motioned to our victim. “Anything so far?”
“Two rounds to the back of the head, so he probably didn’t see the shooter coming. The wounds were through and through. We’re going to have to drain the tub and look for the rounds. Since he’s been in hot water it’s impossible to get an accurate liver temp for a TOD estimate. I’m assuming there was nothing in the way of clothes or a cell phone near the body?”
I shook my head. “We’ll do a thorough search of the house for a phone. What about alcohol or drugs?”
“It looks like he’d been drinking. We’ll do all the usual tox-screens when I get him back to the shop.”
I thanked Brie, turned and saw that Gluck was now talking to a heavyset man who was animated and had raised his voice. I walked over to them with Bernie and was introduced to Barry Steiner.