“I guess. But I know self defense, so if you try anything you’re going to be in some serious pain.”
“I’m not going to try anything.”
She finally gets in and I shut her door.
As we’re driving away from campus, she says, “I forgot my cash. Go back and I’ll run in and get it quick.”
“It’s on me. Don’t worry about it.”
“No, I don’t like people buying me stuff. Then I owe them and I don’t like owing people. Turn around.”
“You won’t owe me anything, Jade. It’s just lunch.” I get on the main road, heading toward the small downtown. “I was thinking we could go to a deli and grab some sandwiches to take to the park. There’s a lake there and some picnic tables.”
“Yeah, sure, so you can take me in the woods and kill me and throw my body in the lake.”
I almost laugh, but don’t because I’m not sure if she’s kidding. “Are you serious? Where do you get this stuff? Do you watch a lot of horror movies or something?”
“Never mind. We can go to the park.” She stares down at her hands in her lap.
I think she really is scared. Now I feel bad. I don’t want her to be scared.
“Are you sure? Because we can go somewhere else if you’re that uncomfortable.”
“Just accept it before I change my mind.” Her tone reverts back to the tough girl from the track. Just moments ago she had her guard down just enough that I could see she was afraid. But then her guard went right back up.
She doesn’t want me seeing that side of her. The vulnerable side. And yet I’ve seen it twice now. I saw it just now, but I also saw it when I told her I was taking her to lunch. She tried to act like she didn’t want to go, but her face told a different story. She looked relieved, probably because my invitation meant she wouldn’t be spending all day alone in her room. She misses home and I could tell she was lonely. She still is. But I’m hoping to fix that, starting now.
We get some sandwiches, chips, and drinks and take them to the park. It’s crowded today, but I find a table under a shade tree.
I smile as I look out at the small beach by the lake where some kids are playing. “Still scared?”
I probably shouldn’t tease her about that since she really was scared, but I want to make light of it because I want her to know I’d never try to scare her or harm her in any way. I want her to feel safe with me.
She ignores the question and says, “Thanks for lunch. It might be the last time I eat until the dining halls open on Tuesday.”
“Shit, you don’t have a car, do you? Well, I can take you to the store so you can get some stuff for your dorm fridge.”
“I don’t have a fridge.” She sips her soda.
“You don’t? Are you sure?”
“It’s not that big of a room. I think I would know.”
My dad didn’t get her a fridge? Usually he tells the RA to do it and send him the bill, but I guess he forgot.
“You need a fridge. I’ll get you one.”
“No, don’t do that. Lunch is enough. I told you I don’t like owing people.”
“You’re on scholarship, right? Room and board is paid for? The people who are paying for that can pay for your fridge. It’s like $80. That’s nothing. I’m sure they’d pay for it.”
“How do you know? Do you know the people who gave me the scholarship?”
“Sort of. I know who they are.” This is my chance to tell her who I am. But I can’t do it. Not yet. I need to get to know this girl and I can’t do that if she finds out who I am. I don’t want her making judgments about me based on my name. I want to show her who I really am and I need time to do that.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say. “I’ll take care of it.”
“I really don’t need one. I just need some bags of chips and a two liter of soda. That’ll last me until Tuesday.”
“You can’t live off that for two and a half days. We’ll get you some snack stuff for your room, but you’re coming out with me for meals. Do you like Thai food? Because I know this great place we could go for dinner.”
“No, really, Garret. I don’t eat that much. In fact, this lunch will last me until tomorrow.”
Tomorrow? What is she talking about? Doesn’t she eat? Maybe she has an eating disorder. But she’s eating her lunch.
As I watch her, I see that same worried look that appeared on her face when I told her the dining hall didn’t open until Tuesday. I get it now. She has no money. And no way to get off campus. She’s worried because she thinks she can’t eat until Tuesday.
I didn’t even think about that. Everyone I know has a car and more money than they know what to do with. But Jade doesn’t. She doesn’t have anything. I thought maybe she’d have some spending money but she must not. Or if she does, it’s probably not much.
A frisbee lands on our table knocking over Jade’s soda. I try to grab it but it rolls off the table. I pick it up and throw the frisbee back to the kids who threw it.
I toss the mostly empty soda bottle in the trash and hand Jade my soda. “Here. You can have mine.”
She smiles as she takes it from me.
I got her to smile. Just by giving her my soda. I’d give her 10 more if it’d make her smile again.
That smile is the best damn thing ever. It’s sweet and innocent and shows a glimmer of that side of her she keeps trying to hide.
We finish our lunch but decide to hang out at the park a little longer. The sun’s shining and there’s a light breeze blowing. We talk for a few minutes, then just sit there quietly, enjoying the warm summer day.
After about an hour, she gets up. “We should go. I need to unpack and put stuff away. My room’s a total mess.”
I toss out our trash and we walk back to the car. Then I drive to the one and only grocery store in town.
“What are you doing?” Jade almost sounds panicked. “I told you I didn’t bring any money.”
“That’s okay. I’ll pay for it.” I unhook my seatbelt and grab my phone from the center console. “Go ahead and load up on chips or soda or whatever you said you wanted. It’s on me.”
“What the hell? I’m not your charity case! I don’t need you to buy me stuff. Let’s just get out of here.”
She practically yells it. What’s her problem? If she has no money, she should be happy I’m offering to pay.
“Calm down. I wasn’t trying to piss you off. I’m just trying to be a friend.”
“You’re trying to buy my friendship.”
My muscles tense up just hearing those words. My life is full of people buying friendships and I’ve made it a point to never, ever do that. I don’t believe in buying friends, or using friends, or pretending to be friends with someone just to benefit myself or my family. And yet I’m forced to do it. I’m forced to be friends with people I don’t even like because of the rules that dictate my life. But I would never choose to be that way. So to hear Jade say that really makes me angry and I don’t bother trying to hide it.
“Yeah, like I’m really going to buy your friendship by spending a few dollars at the grocery store. Why are you getting so mad about this? It’s just money. I don’t even care. And I promise you, I’m not expecting anything in return.”
I sit there, waiting for her to say something.
“Okay, fine. You can pay, but I’m paying you back as soon as we get to campus. This is just a loan.”
“Fine. Whatever.”
Jade has no idea how wealthy I am. My dad’s a billionaire and he gives me a huge allowance every month. I also have my trust fund, but I’m limited as to how much I can withdraw from it. But still, I have plenty of money. More than I can spend.
Even if Jade knew how much money I have, I get the feeling she still wouldn’t let me spend it on her, which doesn’t make sense. But I’m finding a lot of things don’t make sense with this girl.
Jade buys generic potato chips and soda and I have to fight myself from rolling my eyes. Just get the name br
and. It’s not that much more. But I keep quiet and let her get what she wants. She also gets some oranges.
I don’t talk to her on the drive back to campus and she doesn’t talk to me. I’m still pissed that she thinks I’m trying to buy her friendship. It’s just one of those things that sets me off. I’m not one of those people and I hate being accused of being something I’m not.
That one comment was worse than any of the insults she’s given me. She can make fun of me all she wants but I won’t stand for her accusing me of being like the people I despise. The fake, selfish, opportunistic people I’ve been forced to put up with my entire life.
We get back to the dorm and I walk her to her room. “Are you going to dinner with me or not?”
“Let me get your money. Wait here.” She goes in her room and comes back with a $20 bill.
I get my wallet out and hand her the change, the exact amount because if I round to the nearest dollar, I’m sure she’ll yell at me for trying to buy her friendship with those extra 32 cents.
“I’ll see you later, Jade.” I walk toward the staircase, which is right by her room. I’m guessing she doesn’t want to go out with me later and I’m not going to try to change her mind. Not now. I’m too angry with her. Maybe I’ll come down later and see if she wants to go. But if she’s going to accuse me like that again, maybe not. She obviously thinks I’m some spoiled rich kid who buys friendships and if her mind’s set on that, this may not work, no matter how much I like her.
“Is the place expensive?”
I hear her voice and turn back and see her standing in the hall, still holding the money I gave her.
“What?”
“That Thai restaurant you mentioned. Is it expensive?”
“I think it’s like 10 bucks a meal.”
“Okay. I can go. Does 7 work?”
I study her expression to make sure she’s not kidding. She’s not. Her face is serious and a little sad. I don’t like seeing her sad. Why is she sad? Because she thought our dinner plans were canceled? Does she really want to go out with me? Or does she just not want to be alone?
My anger toward her melts away as I see a sliver of her vulnerable side once again. I can almost feel her loneliness as she waits for me to answer. She just wants a friend. Someone to be nice to her in this strange place. And I know she’d never admit that because she’s determined to keep this tough act going. It’s her protection from this world she doesn’t seem to want to be part of. A world she doesn’t trust or feel safe in.
I think I’m beginning to understand her now. Her comments about being afraid to go out with me? Her accusation that I was buying her friendship? She wasn’t trying to be mean. None of that was even about me. It was about her. And her lack of trust in people. Her lack of faith. And her fear that people will hurt her. I don’t know everything about her past but I know it wasn’t good and I think it’s why she keeps trying to hide behind this tough act.
But I’ve seen glimpses of the real Jade and I want to see more. I want her to be able to trust me. Which means I need to tell her who I am. I’m just not ready yet. Maybe tonight.
“Sure, 7 works,” I tell her. “See ya then.”
As soon as I say it, her eyes soften and that sad expression goes away. So I was right. She’s lonely and she just wants a friend. And I think she wants me to be that friend. Which is good. Because I want that, too.
CHAPTER FIVE
I go up to my room and before I forget, I call Jasmine to tell her about the fridge for Jade.
“Hey, Garret. Why are you calling me?” She sounds annoyed. She needs to get over this thing with her sister. It was one date. I didn’t break up with her sister. You can’t break up with someone you’re not even dating.
“I need you to get Jade a fridge and charge it to my dad.”
I’d pay for it myself but if Jade happened to see the bill, I don’t want it being traced back to me.
“She doesn’t have one already?”
“No. My dad must’ve forgot to include it when he paid for her room and board.”
“Okay, I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Are you trying to date this girl? Because if you are, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Your dad would kill you if he found out.”
I’m so sick of people acting like my dad controls me. He does, but I don’t need other people knowing this and then reminding me of it every minute of the day.
“We’re just friends. And Jade doesn’t know who I am yet so could you maybe not tell her?”
“She doesn’t know you’re a Kensington?”
“No, not yet. So could you not say anything?”
“You need to tell her, Garret.”
“Yeah. I know. And I will. Just get her the fridge, okay?”
“She’ll have it later today.”
“Thank you.”
Later that afternoon, I go to the gym and lift weights and then swim for an hour. Time slips away and before I know it, it’s almost 7.
I hurry back to my room to get ready and end up knocking on Jade’s door at 7:10. When she opens it, I’m prepared for her to complain about my being late, but she doesn’t. Instead she stands there and looks at me. And I don’t mean just my face. Her eyes linger on my body and I gotta say, it turns me on.
I wasn’t sure if she was into me that way. She hasn’t really given me any clues that she is, other than looking me over yesterday when we stood by the car. But I couldn’t really tell if she was checking me out. Now it’s confirmed. She’s definitely checking me out. And I’m doing the same to her. Except I’m focused on her beautiful face. There’s a hint of pink on her cheeks, but that’s it for makeup. As she glances down, I notice her thick black lashes, then my eyes focus on her soft, full lips. I want to touch those lips so damn bad. I want to kiss this girl and I don’t want to wait. But I need to wait. I can’t rush this.
“What are you all dressed up for?” Jade asks, and my eyes shift back to hers.
“I’m not dressed up. I’m wearing jeans and a shirt.”
“Yeah, I can see that.”
Here we go again. She’s got that tone going like she’s getting ready to insult me. She knows I’m confident, maybe a little too confident, and she’s trying to take a shot at my ego. I don’t mind. I have more than enough confidence and her insults bounce right off me.
“What’s wrong? You don’t like it?” I look down at my clothes, playing along with her game, pretending to give a shit that she’s questioning my clothing choice.
“Why do you care if I like it?”
“I don’t.” I stand up straighter and cross my arms across my chest. “So do I get to critique your outfit now?”
“Sure. Go ahead.”
This is my chance to check her out. I was trying not to before because I didn’t want to be too obvious. But she just gave me permission so I look her up and down. She has on jeans that are kind of loose and cover too much for me to see anything. But her t-shirt is fitted and shows off the curves of her round perky breasts, which I’m dying to touch.
“Classic black t-shirt and jeans,” I say, casually. “It looks good on you.”
“Not that I care what you think, but thanks. Can we go now?”
I smile, because I’m starting to find her insults rather humorous. And after seeing her look at me that way, I think the insults might be her way of flirting.
I take her to a Thai restaurant near campus. It’s in a strip mall and it’s cheap. When the bill comes, I don’t even attempt to pay for her meal. Not after what happened at the grocery store.
After dinner, we go to a party that’s just down the street from the one I went to last night. It’s in another shitty house that smells like beer and sweaty gym socks. They need to open some windows and air the place out.
Jade scans the room, taking in the scene. Her eyes linger on the bar in the back. I should get her a drink. I wonder if she’s a beer girl or prefers those girly drinks that
taste like fruit punch. They always have drinks like that at these parties. Ones that hide the alcohol so the girls don’t realize they’re getting drunk and the guys can take advantage of them. I hate that shit. If I’m hooking up with a girl, I make sure she at least knows what we’re doing and isn’t so drunk she can’t remember it the next day.
Decker and Blake are here and they walk over to me. Blake’s checking out Jade, which I knew he would because she’s freaking hot. But if he keeps staring at her like that, I might just have to smash his face into the wall.
“Jade, this is Blake,” I say to her. “Blake, this is Jade.”
She shakes hands with him but gives him a strange look. It’s probably because he’s wearing board shorts, which look ridiculous since we’re in Connecticut, not Malibu. But Blake always dresses stupid.
“Blake’s a total ass but for some reason we still let him hang out with us.” I say it half jokingly but I’m not smiling so I hope Jade gets my hint that I’m not kidding when I said Blake was an ass. She needs to stay away from him. Actually, all girls need to stay away from him.
“That’s not always true,” Decker says. “Sometimes when Blake’s really drunk we lock him in a room. He’s an angry drunk. I’m Decker by the way.” He shakes Jade’s hand. At least he doesn’t have his bow tie on tonight. Just some plaid shorts and a green button-up shirt. And he’s wearing his black-rimmed glasses. He usually puts his contacts in when he goes to parties.
“Decker may look smart with the glasses, but don’t let that fool you,” I tell Jade. “He practically flunked out of high school.”
Decker turns to Jade. “They didn’t understand me there. Math and science aren’t my thing. I’m a writer. An artist of the written word. I was far too creative for that school.”
“So what’s your story?” Blake asks Jade. He uses that annoying tone that always grates on my nerves. The tone that implies he’s better than everyone else.
“I just got here. I’m from Iowa.”
“Iowa? Is that in the middle somewhere?”
“Yeah. It’s in the middle.” Jade rolls her eyes. She already doesn’t like Blake, which is good. It shows she’s street smart and a good judge of character. Most girls get sucked in by Blake’s overly confident attitude. And for reasons I don’t understood, a lot of girls think he’s hot.
Garret Page 4