“It’s huge. You have to share it.” I take a drink of my water. “So tell me about yourself, Jade. This whole time we’ve been hanging out you haven’t said one word about home.”
“There’s nothing to say.”
“Tell me about your family. That guy, Ryan. What’s he like?”
“I don’t want to talk about Ryan.” She sits up straight and her eyes dart around nervously. “We have to eat fast. I have to call him as soon as we get back.”
“Why? Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know. Never mind. Talk about something else.” She’s talking fast and I feel her foot tapping under the table.
“Jade, I can tell you’re worried about something. Go call him right now.”
“I don’t have a phone. It’s okay. I’ll call him later.”
“You don’t have a cell phone?”
“No. I don’t need one.”
She doesn’t have a cell phone? Who the hell doesn’t have a cell phone? I thought everyone did. She needs a phone. What if she’s stranded somewhere and needs a ride? What if she’s in danger and needs help? Every girl should have a phone for those reasons alone.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who doesn’t have a cell phone.” I take my phone from my pocket and set it on the table, sliding it toward her. “Here. Use mine.”
“It can wait. Really.” She pushes it back to my side of the table.
Damn, she’s stubborn. She just refuses any kind of help. I wonder why.
The waitress brings our sundae. It’s just like I remembered; eight scoops of ice cream topped with chocolate chip cookies, chocolate syrup, and whipped cream. More cookies are buried at the bottom. That was my mom’s favorite part; the ice-cream soaked soggy cookies at the very bottom.
“What do you think?” I take a bite of ice cream mixed with a chunk of cookie.
“I guess it’s all right.” Jade tastes the cookie and her lips curl up. I made her smile again. I’m getting better at this. “Okay, it’s good. Really good.”
I smile back. “Yeah, I thought you’d like it.”
As we share the sundae I tell her about Connecticut and my hometown. She asks what people do for fun around here and I can’t really think of anything, at least not anything she would consider fun.
Basically, the people I know spend their free time going to fancy parties and charity events. And when they’re not at parties or charity events, they’re preparing for them, especially the girls. Buying the right clothes. The right jewelry. Getting their hair done at the right place.
Everything is about appearances and it’s all fake. Nobody would dare expose what their life is like behind all that fakeness. And although I say I don’t like that shit, I do the same thing. I play along with the fake girlfriend and the fake friends. I pretend to get along with my dad and my stepmom. I pretend to aspire to take over my family’s company someday. And worst of all, I pretend I’m happy when I’m really not.
It’s all fake and yet I keep going along with it. I didn’t used to. When my mom was alive, my life wasn’t like this, but then she died and everything changed. And now this fake life is all I know and I just try to get through each day, wanting to change, but not sure how.
The check arrives and I hand the waitress the money before Jade can protest. She still does, so I tell her that paying the bill is my punishment for ordering without asking her first.
We go back to campus and I walk her to her room. She unlocks the door. “Well, thanks for dessert, but I still feel like I owe you.”
“You don’t owe me. Can’t a person be nice without expecting anything in return?”
“People always expect something in return.”
She’s right. A lot of people are like that. But not me. And I feel myself getting angry again that she’s lumping me in with those people.
Then I remind myself this isn’t about me. Jade said that because she’s been hurt in the past. She doesn’t trust that someone could be nice to her without strings attached. She has issues that have nothing to do with me and I need to remember that. I want this girl to be able to trust people again and I want her to start by trusting me.
What am I thinking? She’ll never trust me. Not after she finds out I’ve been lying to her. I need to tell her who I am. We had a great day and a great night and maybe now she’ll agree to keep hanging out with me even when she finds out who I am.
Just as I’m about to tell her, the phone in her room rings. She opens her door, “That’s Ryan. I have to go. I’ll see you later.”
She races inside to answer it. And there goes my chance to tell her. The words were at the tip of my tongue. Just one more minute and my secret would be out. But then the phone had to ring.
CHAPTER SIX
I go to my room and turn on the TV. It’s only 10. I haven’t been home this early on a Saturday night in years. I could go back to the party but then I’d have to deal with Courtney again, and probably Ava and Sierra as well. But I’m really craving a drink and the party would have plenty of alcohol. I still can’t believe Jade doesn’t drink. Not even beer.
Right now I need a shot of something just to help me relax. I’m still tense from almost telling Jade who I am. All I need is one shot, maybe two.
I admit that drinking gets me through shit. Fights with my dad. Fights with Katherine. Social events I don’t want to go to. Fake girlfriends that hang all over me. And memories.
Alcohol gets me through memories of what my life used to be like. Back when my dad actually acted like a dad. Back when my mom was alive. Maybe that’s another reason why I’m feeling so anxious right now. Going to that diner and getting that sundae made me think of my mom. And although I like thinking about her, I force myself not to because it still hurts too much to know that she’s gone and is never coming back.
I pace the floor, feeling even more anxious. I really need a drink. I should’ve taken some of my dad’s liquor when I was at the house. I can’t go back there now. I might run into my dad or Katherine and I don’t want to talk to either one of them.
I get my phone out and call Decker. “Hey. You still at the party?”
“Yeah. You coming back?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Is Courtney there?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“I don’t feel like dealing with her tonight.”
“It looks like she might be leaving. Yeah, she just left with some other girls.”
“Who else is there? Is Sierra there? Or Ava?”
“Yeah, they’re here.”
Actually, that’s good. I need to tell both of them to stay away from Jade.
“I’ll be there in a few minutes.”
“What happened with that girl? It didn’t work out?”
“She doesn’t like parties. She went to bed.”
“It’s only 10.”
“Yeah, well, I guess she’s tired. I’ll see you soon.”
I grab my keys and head out to my car. When I get to the party I see both Ava and Sierra on the front lawn talking to some guys I don’t recognize. They look older, probably seniors.
I walk up to Sierra. “I need to talk to you.”
“I’m busy,” Sierra says, keeping her eyes on one of the guys.
The guy’s ignoring her, drinking his beer.
Ava is sipping some pink, alcohol-laced punch, moving her mouth up and down the straw while staring up at the other guy. He’s watching her, but his eyes look glazed over, like he might be high.
“I need to talk to both of you.” I grab Ava by the elbow and do the same to Sierra and lead them away from the guys.
They both yank their arms from me, pouting like spoiled kids.
Ava talks first, in her whiny voice. “What do you want, Garret?”
“I want you to leave Jade alone.”
“Who’s Jade?” Sierra has the same pink punch and sips it, holding the straw between her fingers.
“Seriously? You just talked to her a couple hours ago. She lives on you
r floor. She said you stopped by her room earlier.”
“Oh, yeah.” She swirls the straw around her drink. “The orphan from Ohio.”
“She’s from Iowa, not Ohio. And how do you know she’s an orphan?”
“We looked her up online,” Ava says, stepping way too close to me. It’s been years since we dated and the girl still doesn’t get the hint that I’m not interested in her. “We found some article from a local newspaper about her being valedictorian. They said her mom killed herself and she has no dad.” Ava smiles at Sierra and they start laughing.
“You find that funny? That her mom committed suicide?”
“Whatever.” Ava sips her drink. “It was years ago. I’m sure she’s over it.”
She says it so nonchalantly, as if that’s the type of thing you just get over. I don’t think Ava is capable of empathy or sympathy or simply caring about anyone but herself.
“Why were you laughing?” I ask her. “And why were you looking at Sierra that way?”
Sierra answers. “We’re giving orphan girl a little welcome to Moorhurst party. We’re inviting her for dinner tomorrow night. Taking her to a really nice place, like an hour from here.”
“Our treat,” Ava says, eyeing Sierra, a wicked grin on her face.
“And then what?” I ask. “You leave her there? In some strange town late at night?”
They don’t answer, which is all the answer I need. They’ve done this trick before, mostly to new people who don’t know the area.
I grab their arms again. “Listen to me. You’re not taking Jade anywhere. You’re not doing anything to her. You’re not even going to speak to her. You understand?”
“Why do you care?” Ava sucks on her straw.
“Because he’s sleeping with her,” Sierra says. “Or he’s trying to.”
I let go of them. “I’m not sleeping with her. We’re just friends.”
I force myself to remain calm but it’s getting harder the more I’m around these two.
“And get this,” Sierra says to Ava. “She’s the Kensington Scholarship winner.”
Ava laughs. “Oh my God, Garret. Your dad’s gonna be so pissed when he finds out.”
I get in her face. “He’s not going to find out.”
“Yeah. Okay.” She smirks and rolls her eyes.
“Like I don’t have shit on you, Ava? I’d be more than happy to tell your parents about Jess, Jake, whatever the fuck his name was. I’m sure they’d love to know their little princess was dating the bouncer at a dive bar in Hartford.”
The straw drops from her lips and her smirk turns into a frown. “How’d you know about that?”
“It’s not that big a state. And I’ve got eyes everywhere.” I glance at Sierra. “I’m not going to say it again. You leave Jade alone or I’ll make both your lives a living hell.”
I walk away before they say anything. I make a beeline to the bar, grab the vodka, and pour some in a plastic cup. I need a drink and I need it now.
“You want a mixer?” A girl with long red hair and a tight black dress holds a bottle of tonic water in my face.
“No, I like it straight.” I drink it down all at once. It warms my throat and my chest and I feel myself relaxing.
“Let me get you some more.” Red-head girl holds the bottle up and smiles. “Me first.” She keeps her gaze on me as she slowly licks the edge of the bottle, then wraps her mouth around it and sucks on it, her eyes on me the whole time. She tosses her head back and I see the liquid moving down her throat.
She steps closer and talks in my ear. “Your turn.” She hands me the bottle but it’s lost its appeal. Seeing her mouth all over it ruined it for me, which is strange because just a few days ago I would’ve found it hot. She basically just offered me what every guy in here wants. And yet I don’t want it. Not from her. Not now.
The girl puts her hand on my chest, smiling up at me with her bright red shiny lips, waiting for me to take her in a room. But my mind just keeps thinking of Jade and her sweet smile and the innocence that comes off her no matter how hard she tries to conceal it. I can’t imagine Jade going up to guy she just met and suggestively sucking on a vodka bottle.
“I need to go.” I take the girl’s hand off me and go around her.
She grabs my shirt. “Wait. Don’t you want to—”
“No. I don’t. Sorry. Try someone else.”
As I walk through the crowded house, Decker stops me. “Hey, you’re back. A bunch of us are going over to Blake’s in a few minutes. His dad loaded up his bar with all the expensive shit.”
Blake’s dad is Connecticut’s attorney general and yet he buys liquor for his underage son. Great example from someone who’s supposed to be upholding the law. This is why Blake does whatever the hell he wants. He knows he won’t get in trouble.
“Are you coming with us?” Decker asks.
I see the full beer in his hand. The vodka’s already worn off and I need more, but I’m not going back to the bar. So instead I point at Decker’s cup and ask, “You drinking that?”
He glances at it. “No, I’m throwing it out. I’m heading over to Blake’s.”
I take it from him. “I’ll see you later, Dek.”
I go out on the front lawn and drink the beer. One beer isn’t enough to even give me a buzz but at least it’s something. I don’t know how Jade does it. How she gets by without drinking. Her mom killed herself and she got stuck living with some guy and his son. That should be enough to make anyone drink and yet she doesn’t touch the stuff.
I crinkle the plastic cup in my hand and toss it in the open trash can sitting in the yard. It’s only 10:30 but I’ve had enough of this party.
I drive back to campus and when I get in the dorm, I walk down the first floor past Jade’s room. I’m tempted to knock and see what she’s up to, but I don’t want to wake her up if she’s sleeping. So I go to my room and watch TV until I fall asleep.
The next day I stop by Jade’s room in the morning just to say hi. Okay, maybe it’s more than that. Maybe I need to see her again because I miss her. I don’t know why. I just do and I can’t explain it.
She’s not in her room so I go to the pool and swim for a couple hours. I stop by her room again around noon and she’s still not there. What is she doing all day? It’s not like she could leave campus. She doesn’t have a car.
I go back upstairs and see some guys moving into the rooms across from mine. I introduce myself and end up going to lunch with them. One of the guys is a sophomore and says he plays on a flag football team. When I mention I play football, he invites me to be on their team. They play every Sunday.
I agree to play because I miss football. I love playing sports, and not just swimming. Football, baseball, soccer. Pretty much any sport. I love the competition of it. It gets my blood pumping and makes me feel alive. I’m very competitive. Always have been.
Around 4, I go down to Jade’s room again to see if she wants to go on a run. I don’t want to go running, but I want to spend time with her and that’s more likely to happen if I pick an activity she likes doing.
I knock on her door, but she doesn’t answer. Then I see her walking down the hall. Her head is down and she’s moving fast and before I can say anything, she slams right into me, her head colliding with my chest.
I put my hand on her back so she doesn’t fall. “Whoa. You okay there, Jade?”
“Sorry. I was just . . . I don’t know what I was. Out of it, I guess.”
“What have you been up to all day? I came by your room a few times and you weren’t here.”
“I met this new girl from California and we hung out all afternoon.”
“I was just heading out for a run. You want to join me?”
“Do you mean like a real run or one of your lame 2 mile runs that swimmers do?”
“I’ll ignore that. How far do you want to go?”
“Let’s see. If I’m going easy on you I’ll say 5 miles.”
“Five miles, huh?
I told you how much I hate running, right?”
“Five miles isn’t that far. Are you afraid you can’t make it 5 miles?”
I smile, loving that she’s challenging me again. “I can make it 5 miles. Get changed. And I get to pick the route.”
“Let me guess. No hills, right?”
Another insult. Doesn’t even bother me. I’m getting used to it now.
“Real funny, Jade. Now get in there and change.”
I wait for her to change, then we go outside and run a loop around the campus. I veer off to the start of the trail that leads into the woods.
“Wait.” Jade grabs my shirt. “I don’t think I want to go in there.”
There’s that vulnerable side again. She doesn’t trust me. I can see it in her eyes. I don’t know why she’s so worried. I would never hurt her. And I wouldn’t let anyone else hurt her either, which is why I gave that warning to Ava and Sierra last night.
“There’s a trail the whole way. A lot of people run on this trail.” I hold her hand gently in mine. “Come on, let’s go.”
She hesitates, her face fearful. Of me. I don’t like that she thinks of me that way, but I guess I understand. She’s a girl and girls have to be careful around guys they don’t know that well.
I keep hold of her hand. “If you don’t want to go on the trail, we can go back to the track. Or we can drive into town and run there.”
“It’s okay. We won’t be in there very long. I’ll race you.” She takes off running, or more like sprinting.
“Shit!” I run after her, trying to catch up. “Jade, wait!”
She doesn’t stop. She just keeps running at lightning speed for at least 2 miles.
I finally see her slowing down and I’m able to catch up.
“Had enough yet?” She sits on a log, giving me a smug smile.
Sweat is dripping off my face. “That’s it.” I pause to catch my breath. “You’re going on my turf next.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Pool. You and me. In the pool. Tomorrow night.”
“I’m not a swimmer.”
Garret Page 6