by Alice Ward
“It happened before you were born, dear. The families often gathered together and your mother loved throwing barbecues. Now, mind you, there was always a bit of flirting going on now and then, but it stayed within our set and that made it almost acceptable. Your mother, however, took it far past that point. She was quite smitten with LaViere and made a fool of herself, to be quite truthful. There was even some talk about a brief pregnancy,” she whispered, watching my face for a reaction. Naturally I was horrified. That would mean I was not the only child, just the only legitimate one.
“Mrs. Jessup, are you saying she had an abortion?”
She shook her head. “Not entirely sure. It was all very hush-hush. She went on a vacation quite suddenly, some excuse about Florida for the winter. Whether she had the child terminated or whether she gave birth and adopted it out, we’ll never know. I’m not even sure how much your father knows, but the less the better, you can be sure. He’s such a dear, though… he will always stand by her.”
I was in total shock. It wasn’t Mother’s behavior that stunned me. She had always had the undertone of being duplicitous. It wasn’t even that Dad had been so abused, he could take care of himself. It was the idea that possibly somewhere out there I might have an older sibling. The idea was too big to focus on at the moment.
Mrs. Jessup was watching my face for reactions and I didn’t want to upset her. “I think I knew a little bit about some of this,” I said to set her mind at ease. “I found some pictures and Mother’s explanation wasn’t entirely believable. Now, don’t you worry. Thank you for bringing this up. I surely will give this considerable thought before doing anything that could hurt someone, most especially Dad.”
She nodded, satisfied that she’d done the right thing and went back to her pastry. Suddenly, I felt an enormous need to get out in the fresh air. The air in the room was hot, stuffy and filled with odd odors from the kitchen, not to mention the stacked bedpans on the racks in the hallway. I stood, hugged Mrs. Jessup and said, “I need to go. I have an appointment that I’m late to, I’m sorry…”
Mrs. Jessup didn’t seem the least bit surprised. She had dropped the bomb, watched the explosion and was now getting out of the line of further fire mostly in the person of my mother.
Once I got into the fresh air, I drew in huge gulps, despite the fact that it was filled with snow. Internally, I felt like the maelstrom of flakes about me, confused and in a dead fall. I got to my car and climbed in and started the engine, just sitting there for some time. I wanted to cry and be sick simultaneously. I couldn’t seem to think straight. I didn’t want to be there although I had no idea where I wanted to be more. I just didn’t want to be me at that moment. I’d never felt like this before and couldn’t explain it. There was no safe place. I couldn’t go home and face my mother — not yet. That time would come. I couldn’t reach out to Worth — he was implicated by association and although he knew nothing of this, I had no idea how he might respond.
I went to the only person who could possibly shelter me — Brandon. I drove to his office and sat in his waiting room until his secretary motioned me in. Once he saw me, he stood and came toward me and I did the only thing I wanted to do. I fell into his arms. I was crying, almost hysterically. I knew Brandon was completely thrown by my behavior. Hell, I was too. He led me over to a leather sofa in his office and sat down next to me, cradling my face against his shoulder while I sobbed.
When the sobbing finally relented and I was left stutter-sucking in air, he asked me in a quiet voice, “Want to talk about it?” I shook my head, but I knew I had to talk to someone. I drew back and sat against the back of the sofa, fishing for tissues in my bag. Brandon quickly got to his feet and fetched a box he kept on his desk. He opened his door and spoke briefly with his secretary. Handing me the tissues, there was a tapping at the door within moments and in she came, a tray of cups and cookies in her hands. She set them on the coffee table and quietly left.
Brandon poured a cup of tea and handed it to me. “Here, drink this. It’s hot and will help to relax you inside.” He got up and retrieved a small flask from his desk drawer, adding a couple teaspoons to my tea. “There, that’ll help too,” he soothed me. He let me sit there for some time in silence, not pressing. He sensed I just needed him nearby, but not necessarily to say anything.
“I’m sorry for barging in,” I began, but he put up his hand immediately to interrupt me.
“You’re never an interruption, Auggie. I’m here for you… I don’t think I have to even say that.”
I shook my head, knowing what he meant. Finally, I was composed enough to speak. “I need a favor,” I said softly.
“Name it,” he responded without hesitation, patting my leg and putting his arm around my shoulders.
“What I tell you stays between us, right?” I asked tentatively.
“Got a penny?” he asked.
“What?” I was puzzled.
“A penny. Have you got a penny?” he repeated.
I opened my bag and found one lying in the bottom of its satin lining. I handed it to him.
“There, now we can use attorney/client privilege. You’ve just hired me. Now, what in the hell has you so upset?”
I dabbed at my eyes, blew my nose and began to tell him the story, beginning with Mrs. Jessup’s gossipy warning and ending with the collaborating proof of the pictures in Mother’s album and her weak explanation.
Brandon listened quietly, his brows raising from time to time as he realized the cause behind the turmoil I was feeling internally. I began to cry again as the possibilities ran rampant.
Patting my hand, he got up and brought back a notepad and pen. “Here, let’s see if we can’t make some sense of this mess,” he said. “I’m going to guess and you correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe I understand what you’d like me to do for you.”
I nodded and lay my head on his shoulder for the comfort it brought.
“I’m guessing the most horrible question is whether your mother and Worth’s father continued to have a relationship and whether you might actually be their daughter, am I right?” he asked gently.
This brought a renewed onslaught of crying as I nodded miserably.
“There, there… let’s deal with this one first. Now, all we need to do is get DNA samples and that will tell you definitively. I’m going to send you to a discrete doctor I know and they’ll swab the inside of your cheek and that’s all there is to it. They send it off for analysis and it’s considered legally accurate. Now, the question comes whether you want to collect DNA from Worth to determine whether there is a match, or from your dad to rule him in or out. Naturally, if your dad isn’t a match, that still doesn’t rule Worth in or out. How do you want to do this?” His voice was tender and understanding, but I could hear the authoritative underlying attorney tone. “I should mention, though, that in order to test Worth’s DNA, legally, we need his acknowledged approval by signature.”
My eyes grew large at that. “Can’t I just get some hair from his hairbrush or something?” I pleaded.
“As an attorney, I cannot advise you to do something that’s against the law, Auggie. You can send in a hair sample, but the lab will require signed permission in order to process it.”
“I can’t do that, Brandon. That would start all sorts of trouble. I can’t even ask that of my own dad — I wouldn’t want to hurt him that way.”
“Let me repeat, Auggie. As your attorney, I cannot advise you to do something illegal. I can only inform you of the law. Now, let me also say that the doctor I’m sending you to has been known, shall we say, to have more relaxed standards for certain people. Look, Auggie, I can’t say any more than that.”
I nodded. “I understand. I don’t want you to do anything illegal, Brandon. I just didn’t know where to go.”
“No, no, that’s fine that you came here. In fact, I like it very much that you know you can do that. My hands are tied on the DNA account. Let’s move on, however. You are wonderin
g whether you have an older sibling out there somewhere, right?”
Again, I nodded.
“Well, let’s begin with getting your DNA back and I’ll start a background check to see what we can uncover. I would like to have a chat with Mrs. Jessup, but I think the less attention we call to it, the better off you’ll be. This may be one of the few times that it’s a good thing she’s not out in public any longer. Although, that doesn’t rule out other people knowing about it. It’s been a long time since that would have happened, but that sort of thing isn’t forgotten… at least not until someone wants to remember. The more attention we bring to you and Worth being a couple, the more likely someone is going to begin remembering. After all, Mrs. Jessup is an old lady, but there were others far younger.”
I felt the panic returning and he must have read it in my eyes. I began to hyperventilate. Brandon put his arms around me again, his hand patting the back of my head. Then he did the most unexpected thing. He pulled my head backward, brushed away the tears on my cheeks and kissed me fully on the mouth. It wasn’t a long kiss, but it wasn’t exactly fatherly, either. “There now,” he said. “I’m going to help you sort this all out and everything will be fine. I promise. Can you hold up?” he asked, as normally as if he were kissing his sister.
If anything, my insides were now in a greater turmoil. Not only was his kiss more romantic than brotherly, I hadn’t minded it. The horror of my predicament launched a fresh onslaught of sobbing.
Brandon patted me then he went to his door again and spoke to his secretary. He came back, grabbing his coat from a closet in a small anteroom. “Come on, I’m getting you out of here.”
“But you have clients…” I objected.
“Yes, and you are it. You’ve just hired me for the remainder of the afternoon. First, I want you to take another swig from this flask. It will help to settle your nerves. Next, we’re going to run by that doctor’s office and get you swabbed.” He was efficient and yet sympathetic.
“Should I have alcohol in my mouth if they’re going to swab it? I mean, isn’t it like having to fast before you have a blood test?” I asked innocently.
“No, sweetie, your DNA goes all the way through you. The alcohol will evaporate, probably already has. Let’s just get you settled. I know you well enough to understand that you’ll obsess and fume over this until we get some resolution. Getting started on the path to discovery is the fastest route to get it settled.”
I nodded. Brandon did seem to understand me better than I realized. “Brandon, I don’t want to cost you fees from lost clients.”
He laughed. “If it makes you feel better, we’ll call this our hundred-thousand-dollar date. How’s that?”
I laughed at the irony.
“Good! We’ll start with that smile and work our way out from there.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me through his lobby and into the snow. “Here, you’ve had something to drink, so you’re riding with me. I’ll drop you back here later. Okay?”
I nodded. I really was in no mood to drive myself. My stomach was only then beginning to settle and I didn’t want to be alone in any sense. Besides, it was snowing even harder and the roads were getting slick. I climbed in with Brandon and we drove in the direction of town. Brandon sensed that I wasn’t done talking. I needed to put all the dark, troubling questions out there and look at them from different perspectives.
“So, assuming that you and LaViere aren’t related by blood, and assuming that you don’t have an older sibling floating around out there, what else bothers you?” Brandon had a way of getting right to the point.
“The scandal, for one,” I complained.
“Don’t you think that probably died away long before you were even born?” His point made good sense.
“My poor Dad. I wonder if he knows,” I speculated.
“Sweet, if Mrs. Jessup knows, then I’d say it’s a pretty good bet your dad knows, too… or at least has heard the gossip, even if he doesn’t know for sure.”
I nodded. “Yes, you’re right. There’s no way he couldn’t have heard the talk. Well, I suppose the other aspect is how this will affect Worth and me. His father is bound to not want me around. I pose too much of a threat to his reputation. Then there’s my mother, who, while I don’t really care if she disinherits me, will make my life a living hell if she feels threatened by what I know. What a hell of a mess, Brandon!” I was exasperated. I rarely cursed, only in times of great frustration when I couldn’t get things to work out the way they should.
Brandon casually looked from the traffic to glance at me once in a while. He nodded, letting me know he was listening. We came to a light and he turned a bit in the seat and looked directly at me. “Auggie, I think you’re going to have to accept that there are some aspects of this that aren’t malleable. They are what they are. All you can do at this point is find out enough truth to refine your own sense of what happened and let God pass the judgment. You have people who love you, you know… including me.”
His last two words were so soft, I wasn’t sure I’d heard them. I looked at him but he had returned his profile to me. I must have imagined his comment or perhaps he meant that he loved me like a friend. Either way, I didn’t have any mental energy left to dedicate to the question, so I let it go.
We pulled into the parking lot of the doctor Brandon was referring me to and we went directly into the building through the back door. Brandon settled me in one of the back examining rooms and disappeared. He returned shortly with a nurse in tow, a plastic bag with swabs in her hand. “Auggie, just do as she says and I’ll take care of the rest,” he told me. It was a brief procedure and we were back in Brandon’s car minutes later.
I laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I just realized maybe I can finally find out if I’m really related to the Earl of Langford as my aunt always insisted.”
He grinned. “Would it matter? You’ll always be my royal Auggie,” he commented.
There it was again, the offhand remark that revealed an aching heart. What am I doing? I had no right to involve Brandon in this and I think I recognized instinctively that it wouldn’t make Worth happy. Not at all. Especially after our recent pact to keep everything on the table, open and honest. Would Worth understand why I couldn’t come to him on this? Would he forgive me? The thought of him made me ache to be in his arms, to feel his comforting caresses and hear that deep voice in my ear. Another tear fell upon my cheek. Brandon noticed immediately.
“Afraid to be royal?” he teased me into a smile. I shook my head.
“As long as you bow when you enter my room,” I teased in return.
The snow had become a whiteout and Brandon’s car was spinning tires. “Auggie, this is a mess. Too early in the year for this. No one is used to driving in this and it will melt in a day or two, but right now, this is damned dangerous.”
I looked around to determine where we were. “Your apartment is just down there,” I said, pointing at the upcoming intersection.
“Yes,” he responded, cautious and trying to ascertain what I was suggesting.
“Well, good, then drop me off here at this Holiday and you’ll only be a couple of blocks down the street. I’ll stay here and you can be my guest at dinner in their restaurant. Keep me company for a bit before you go home. After all, this is our date, isn’t it?” I pointed out.
“A very good point,” he smiled and I detected even a sense of relief. I knew if I asked Brandon to stay all night, he would have. I also knew he wanted to be with me because I wanted him, not because I was running from anyone or anything else. He was an honorable man. I knew I could trust him.
He pulled into the Holiday and went in to get me a room. He had to take it in his name because they wouldn’t rent to someone who didn’t have a car in their parking lot. I went up to the room to freshen up while Brandon waited for me in the dining room.
We ordered wine and steaks with a side salad. We laughed and reminisced about our college
days. We had many friends in common and shared the gossip we each knew. It was a wonderfully warm, pleasant evening and made me wonder why everything I shared with Worth was filled with drama and intense emotion. Could I have warm evenings like this with Worth?
Brandon kissed my cheek and left me at about ten o’clock, promising to pick me up the next morning. He forgot, however, to leave me his phone charger so I could keep my phone going. I thought about calling home to let them know I was fine before my battery was dead. I chose to call Dad directly. Without details, I told him I had taken a room in the city to wait out the blizzard. He said he thought it was very wise and wished me a good night. I settled under the covers and fell asleep almost immediately. It had been a very long and very emotional day.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Worth
I stood in the plastic-sheeted doorway to the new annex and surveyed the progress so far. I hated things that weren’t complete. I tapped Jeremy’s number.
“Hey!” he answered on the second ring. “Helluva snow, isn’t it?” he said cheerily.
“When is this mess going to be done?” I said without ceremony.
“Well, good morning to you, too, asshole!” his voice was half perturbed and half amused. “Typical Worth,” he added.
“Sorry. You know how I am. I want this done and to get the business on track.”
“Worth, everything is on track with the construction. Within a week, you can bring in all those torture tables and spa accessories. Ten days from now you can have your grand opening and listen to your praises being sung from the heavens. So, back off now, buddy, and let me do what I do best,” he pushed back.
“This is what you do best?” I let the innuendo lay there.
“Asshole,” came Jeremy’s final word as I hung up.
I looked around at the havoc and couldn’t imagine that the crew would have it all together. There were two therapy hot tubs to be installed, special wiring, drywall, trim, paint, flooring, drapes. The list was long and it put me in a very bad mood.