Tony’s eyes are glued to me as I lie back on the bed and lift my curls to spread across the pillow. I open my legs wide. I turn the vibrator off for a minute and let my hand slide from my neck down over my breasts. I lift one out of my bra and roll the nipple between my fingers and moan. Tony reaches over and I let him run his hand across the curve. He flicks my nipple, puts it between his fingers and pinches tight enough it stings a little, but in a good way. He’s learning already.
“Mmm.” I take his hand and run it down my belly and then off to my side, resting it gently on the bed. “Now, just watch,” I say while shutting my eyes and licking my lips. As much as I want his hands all over me, I want to do this with him. I want us to explore each other in this kind of way.
I let my hand move back to the center of my stomach and then all the way to between my legs. Normally I would just slide my panties off, but there’s something so hot about the idea of leaving them on. I spread my legs wider and use my other hand to push my panties over. I take my fingers and lick them before moving them to spread my lips and let my finger graze against my clit. The soft touch makes me shiver and whimper in pleasure. I inhale and plunge my fingers deep inside.
“Feels so good,” I say, turning to Tony, moving my fingers in and out slowly while my other hand holds my panties aside.
“I’m so hard.” His voice is raspy and his eyes are plastered to my body.
“Why don’t you show me how hard you are?” I start running my thumb against my clit as he undoes the knot on the towel. My mouth drops open. He’s hard and big, and the idea of having him inside me sends a shock of pleasure through me. I push my fingers in deeper and deeper, loving the image of him in my bed with his hand tight around his cock. We might be working our own bodies, but it’s as if I’m closer to him in this moment than I ever have been. He starts moving his hand up and down the shaft, running his thumb over the tip.
“I like watching you stroke yourself like that.” My eyes are half closed and my lip is between my teeth. I reach up and unclasp my bra, letting my breasts fall loose. Tony leans over and kisses my shoulders and my neck. Finally, when I can’t stand it any longer, I reach for the vibrator. I sit up and push my back against the wall and turn my body slightly toward him. Tony follows my idea and sits up too.
I want him to watch how slowly I glide it in, how my pussy spreads for it the way it’ll spread for him. He moans and his hand moves up and down quicker and quicker, but his eyes stay open the whole time. I take the vibrator and place it between my legs. I put the head right against my clit and I turn it on.
I can’t help it when a deep, guttural moan escapes my lips. I love the idea Tony is sitting here, watching me get off like I’ve gotten off so many times when I’ve thought about his dick entering me over and over again. I let the vibrator slide into my pussy and I push my hips into it.
“God, you’re sexy.” Tony matches my rhythm and slows down. The deeper I go with the vibrator the lower he goes with his hand. He keeps his eyes on me as I pump it in and out. Finally, I get into a quicker rhythm and I can’t contain myself. I lean over onto my knees and begin moving my hips, riding the vibrator over and over. Tony mimics my position and pumps his hand up and down fast, his other hand reaching behind for my ass, as if it’s crucial we are touching through completion.
We lock eyes and my body builds in tension and electricity. I fuck the vibrator fast and hard until my pussy starts clenching. I grab Tony’s face and I pull him in to kiss me. I want his mouth pressed against mine as I come. He moans against my mouth as I start coming and I can’t stop mewls from slipping through my lips. He comes on my stomach and, moments later, his body softens and collapses into me. I fall back on the bed, the vibrator still in me and buzzing. I ride the sensation of the orgasm as it rises and falls in waves through my entire body. Tony leans over and licks my nipple before pulling it into his mouth and circling it with his tongue. This last bit of sensation is too much and when he sucks harder, I’m thrown into another orgasm that is just as long as the last one. I grab the back of his head, holding him there until I come back down.
“My God, that was amazing.” I seriously haven’t orgasmed like that by myself or with anyone else in a very long time.
After I remove the vibrator and wipe it off, Tony reaches over and pulls me to his side, his lips softly trailing over the back of my left shoulder. “I’ve been dying to do this for ages now,” he whispers against my skin, before pulling me even closer.
It’s so good to lean against his chest like this, spent and exhausted from touching ourselves. I did not expect for things to go like this when he got back, but I can’t say I didn’t think about him often while holding that vibrator while he was gone.
I pull the comforter over us and exhale a long breath. This is too comfortable, too real. Both what I hoped for and what I was afraid of. Every time we get closer to each other, I feel more and more for Tony. Which is perfect if we’re trying to slow-burn our way into a lasting relationship. Not so perfect though, if all I’m doing is setting myself up for heartbreak.
Maybe I would have been better off ending this the second I opened the manila envelope containing the identity of the person I’d been matched with.
Even that would have been too late. We have to work as a couple for a year. The last thing I want is to be the reason he doesn’t get into OCS. Especially now that I’ve seen more sides of him. Tony might clown around, but he’s got a good heart. He’s a good man. A caring, decent one. As an officer, he would make the navy proud. I won’t be the one who costs him that chance.
Even at the expense of my own heart. Even if it means putting my own dreams on hold. The bed shifts beneath me, and Tony curls around my back, spooning me from behind. His strong arm wraps around my chest, and his chin rests on my head. “This okay? I want to sleep with you in my arms.”
“It’s perfect.” The warmth from his body, from his words, seeps into me, winding its way to my heart. I melt against him as hope kindles at the way he’s holding me like I’m something precious. Maybe the years of living through Mami’s failed relationships has made me too pessimistic. After all, tonight was a whole new level of intimacy and sensuality. I’m guessing that’s true for Tony too. Maybe he started out with his own reasons for only wanting to remain together for the year, but that doesn’t mean he can’t have a change of heart.
We work well together. And physically, we fit together perfectly. I love being around him, having his strong male presence in my home, our home, feeling his touch, and yes, hearing his stupid jokes and his loud laugh. It’s obvious that he enjoys having me around too.
This marriage might just stand a chance, after all.
Chapter Nineteen
Tony
Holy shit. That was amazing. I’ve never seen a woman use a vibrator on herself, outside of porn, of course. And the way she teased me, only allowing me to watch, made me rock hard. In retrospect, I’m kicking myself for being insecure and wasting all that time. Precious days where we could have been having sex like that. What difference does it make if I’m less experienced when I have a sensual goddess like Inara to show me the light? I never would have guessed in a million years that having a woman take full-on control could be so damn hot. Well, not any woman. Inara. My wife. Having her take the lead and tell me what makes her hot, and hearing her ask me to stroke myself, was the kind of experience I’ll be thinking about way too often while I shower. Hell, my dick is already getting hard again.
I pull the covers up and over my waist as I recall how her mouth twists and brows furrow when she orgasms. The bathroom door clicks open, and a moment later Inara walks into the room. She climbs into bed and as she gets under the covers, I pull her in close to me once again, so close in fact that the heat of her body radiates against mine. She settles against my chest as I cover us both with the comforter.
“You sure you okay with me sleeping here?” While I absolutely would sleep on the floor of her bedroom or the couch for as long
as she wanted, a part of me is asking just for her to tell me again that she wants me here, in bed, with her.
Inara laughs. “We touched ourselves in front of each other, so yes, I think we’re okay to share a bed.”
“Just checking.” I kiss the top of her forehead.
Inara’s fingers toy with the hair on my arm for a few moments, then stills. She makes a little noise in her throat. “So, there’s something I wanted to ask you.” Her voice is soft, almost shy. Very atypical for my brazen wife.
“Ask me anything,” I say, charmed by this rarely seen side of her. At this precise moment, I don’t think there’s much in this world I’d deny her.
“When you were talking to your dad before you left, I heard you mention something.”
I try not to groan. Except that. I really, really don’t want to talk about my dad. But I did just tell her to ask me anything. “What’s that?”
“Something about a fundraiser?” Inara’s voice is soft. Hesitant. I get the sense that while she doesn’t want to push me, it would mean a lot if I open up.
“It’s something my dad dreamed up.” I force myself to continue. “He wants to put together a fundraiser and he’s actually thinking of doing it here.” This seems like as good a point as any to start.
“That sounds nice. I’d love to get a chance to meet him. But what kind of fundraiser is it?” She angles her head closer to me.
“It’s actually, uh”—I chuckle, slightly embarrassed—“a Zumba event to raise money for cancer awareness and research. He wants to donate it all in my mom’s name.”
She leans over and props herself up on her elbow. “Your dad does Zumba? That’s awesome. And to do something in your mother’s name is really special. Don’t you think?”
She’s wants more from me. No, strike that. She deserves more. I hadn’t been planning on telling her much about my family, because, well, what was the point? Especially when I was sleeping on the couch. But it isn’t right to keep her totally in the dark. I have to tell her about my mom, about my relationship with my family, all of it. But the visions I had of us connecting on a new level is harder than I expected. I look down at her hand rubbing my arm. And when my gaze returns to hers, I’m met with patience, and it’s enough for me to move forward. “What I haven’t shared with you . . . is something I don’t talk about . . . because I don’t even like thinking about it. But when I was in high school, my mom got cancer. It hit her hard and quick too.”
Inara sucks in a quiet breath. “I’m so sorry, Tony.”
I avoid her gaze so I can keep going. “We watched her fall apart, and it was one of the hardest times in my life.”
The hand rubbing my arm slides to my fingers and laces with mine. The connection gives me the resolve to continue. “During her illness, while she was still moving around okay, my youngest sister suggested we all do Zumba together to keep her moving, to do something fun and non-cancer related, and to get her out of the house.” I stop and shake my head, smiling to myself at the memory. “She didn’t want to at first. She thought it was a ridiculous idea. But then we all signed up. And we all took turns going to classes with her. Zumba was one of the few things that made her really smile and laugh, near the end.”
“That must have been really hard for you, but what a great thing you did for her.” Inara places her other hand on my chest and rubs it back and forth.
Now that I’ve started, the words flow more easily. “After my mom died, my dad kept going to Zumba. It was the only thing that helped him move through the grief. And he got so into it he decided to become an instructor. Now, he’s apparently like one of the greatest instructors in the state, and people travel far to take classes with him.”
“That’s actually amazing. I mean not just finding a way to heal but turning it into a career.” She smiles softly at me. “And you’re going to do this fundraiser?”
I squirm. “Haven’t decided yet. Thing is, when my mom died, my dad was kind of out of commission. He couldn’t help it, but we needed him and he wasn’t there for us. Now whenever I’m around him, all I think about is that and all I see is my family with a giant Mamá-shaped hole.”
Her dark eyes are full of sympathy. “That’s understandable. Of course it would hurt to be around them. But he’s your dad, and maybe now is a good time to try to heal that.”
“No.” I don’t like my tone, but I look her in the eyes and there’s no irritation there.
She smiles. “I know it’s something you really need to think about and decide for yourself. I support you either way. Thanks for telling me.” She squeezes me tighter and gives me a soft kiss along my jawline.
“Thank you for saying that you’ll support me either way.”
“Yeah, I got this supportive-wife shit down. You taking notes?”
“Whatever.” I pull her to my side and she leans into me. I’ve never had anyone to really talk to about this. The guys know my past, but nothing more than the basics. Telling Inara was a whole lot better than I expected.
I look down at her lying on me after really, truly, talking, and everything just feels so good. This year is going to break me in a whole new way. Has Inara thought about us beyond the year? I shake my head. That wasn’t part of the deal. If anything, maybe we can stay close friends after the annulment.
I kiss the top of her head and breathe in the scent of her shampoo. “Now what about you? Is there anything you want to tell me that you haven’t?”
She’s making circles on my stomach with her finger. “I guess . . .”
“Whatever you want to tell me is good.”
“Well, part of why I signed up for the program was because of how I grew up, like with all my stepdads. When I was younger, my mom went through a lot of relationships. She would meet someone, they’d be in love, and then a wedding would happen so fast. And then months later, the falling apart would start. My mom’s never really been an open book. So I think, once she started feeling unhappy, she just shut down. She didn’t talk, didn’t try to fix things. She just broke it off.”
All this must be part of why my wife’s so willing to work hard at our marriage, even if it is only a year. She doesn’t want to be the cause of us failing. The thought twists something in my chest. “That must have been rough. I’m sorry you went through that, Inara.”
Her breathing quickens and her voice quivers. “It was. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love my mom. But she messed up a lot.”
I move my hand to stroke her hair and wait for her to keep talking.
She starts again after taking a deep breath. “A lot of those relationships probably could have worked. Like, I think, one for sure could have. But she wasn’t willing to try. She didn’t open up. She didn’t talk to them. She just let it fall apart. She’s a failure at relationships, Tony.”
Inara sits up suddenly and looks at me. Her eyes are wet with the possibility of tears. “I’m so worried I’ll be like her. I’m so worried I’ll be a failure at love. And I think that’s a big reason why I applied to the program. If I haven’t been able to figure out my own love life by now, then maybe someone else can match me up better than I can. I don’t want to be like her.” She reaches up to brush away a tear that has made its way down her soft cheek.
“Hey, hey, I’m sorry if I pushed you to talk about stuff you didn’t want to talk about.” I sit up, pull her into me close, and hold her as she trembles.
“No, I wanted you to know, I wanted to tell you all of this.” She wipes her face and rolls her eyes at herself. “Sorry I’m so emotional.”
“I’m glad you told me. And don’t apologize, you’re fine.” I push a stray curl behind her ear. “And I don’t think you will fail at love. Look at how much work you’ve put into us!” I motion to the blankets around us and to the room. “You mentioned your mom never communicated, never tried, but from the moment I met you, you’ve been pretty open and direct with me. Even now, you didn’t have to tell me all of this, but you did.”
“I guess you’re
right. It’s just hard knowing none of my relationships have worked so far.” Her mouth twists and she squeezes her eyes shut. “God, like that last guy. That was so awful.”
“You mean, the married pendejo? From Jim and Taya’s wedding?”
She shudders and wraps her arms around herself. “I can still hear that woman screaming they were married and how he’d lied. I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. I swear, it was like having an out-of-body experience. Thank God you were there to drag me away. I still feel guilty. I should have known, somehow. We barely dated, but he always had to meet me out somewhere, was always checking his phone.”
I shake my head and cup her cheek. “Hey, don’t do that. This is on him. He’s the one who lied—to both of you.”
For the sake of my career, I hope I never lay eyes on that guy again because I don’t think there’s enough willpower in the world to keep me from beating his ass. I don’t want Inara blaming herself for anything. Not for what that pendejo did, and not for her mom’s broken marriages either. If we don’t stay together, will she think of herself as a failure like her mom? My heart twists as bile creeps up the back of my throat. I’m unsure how to soothe her, so I pull her in close and hug her. “You’re with me now. I got you.”
She giggles. “Well, now that I’ve orgasmed and cried, guess we should go to sleep.” Inara turns toward me and lifts her hand to my face, pulling me in and planting a soft kiss on my lips. “Tony, I’m really happy you told me about your mom.”
“Me too.”
“Goodnight, Tony.” She shifts positions and scoots back against me and fuck me if it isn’t the best feeling in the world. One I can’t imagine losing.
“Goodnight, Inara.”
Chapter Twenty
Inara
I wake up pressed into Tony. God, it feels good and right. He’s still asleep, so I lift his arm from me slowly then carefully get out of the bed trying to make as little noise as possible. After grabbing a sundress from the closet, I glance over my shoulder at Tony and smirk. The man can actually follow my lead pretty well.
Matched (Navy Seals of Little Creek Book 2) Page 16