by Mikell, Beth
“Oh my god. What do the police think?”
“There’s nothing to go on, I guess,” Brooke said. “They are still checking.” She sighed, reaching for her wine, taking a sip.
Jennifer cocked her head. “You don’t suspect Damon had something to do with all this, do you?”
“How contrived would that be, huh?” Brooke swirled the wine in her glass with a half-smile. “I want to believe he is on the up and up, but I’m sure he is hiding something from me, but I doubt it’s about my apartment or business. It’s something else.”
She smiled. “He likes you and gave you the job so he can chase you around the desk and—”
She smacked Jennifer’s shoulder. “Stop! God, you’re such a horn dog. Not everything comes down to sex.”
“Who said?” She lifted an eyebrow. “I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, doll face, but everything does come down to hot, sweaty sex. And the dirtier, the better.” As she grabbed another slice, she asked, “Have you kissed him, yet?”
Brooke choked a short laugh.
Yes, she had.
“Really?” Brooke said. “You think I’d do that with my new boss?”
“Yes, most definitely. He doesn’t seem the type to miss an opportunity either, especially not the way he appeared ready to devour you.” Grinning, Jennifer reached for her wine glass, clinking it with hers. “Stop worrying and enjoy this. Lord knows, you could use the pampering...and a little office romance.”
“Not if I can help it,” she grumbled.
Jennifer leaned closer, and whispered, “Sometimes you can’t stop the inevitable,” she said with a wink.
Jennifer didn’t believe half of what she had said to her friend. If she did, she’d march right back down to Donavan and hold his sexy-self hostage for another night of hot sex. But she wouldn’t. Such an action would only be a temporary fix.
~ 3 ~
Donavan carried around darkness—the kind that stripped a man from the inside. And not only from serving two tours in the military either. No, the personal kind. The sort of decision he had to make for the sake of his heart to move forward so he could live with himself.
He wasn’t the romance and flowers kind of dude. For him, Valentine’s Day was just another day. There was no sweetheart to remember. No one to share romantic walks with on the beach. No special dinners to anticipate, or going to the movies. No tickle sessions across his bed or a sexy morning breakfast to enjoy.
Nothing.
He’d lost all that. And he hadn’t allowed himself to reopen that wound.
One glimpse of Jennifer West...one night in her arms...and he ached for all that mushy love stuff again. She instilled in him a sense of renewal—the kind of beginning he hadn’t thought possible again.
He knew he was going nuts thinking about her.
He’d stayed away on purpose, allowing her to live her life without his interference. It had been the hardest thing he’d had to do, especially when he recalled every nuance of her face. How her red hair brushed her shoulders. He loved the shape of her blue eyes, and how they had sparkled. She had the most expressive face. He’d ached to draw her deep into his arms and do a lot more.
She was stunning.
And he had a decision to make.
He needed to face his darkness.
Whipping out his phone, he hit a familiar number. When the soft voice answered on the other end, he relaxed.
“Hello?” she asked.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Jacob! What a lovely surprise! You know, I’ve been thinking about you. How’s my boy?”
He chuckled, picturing her in his mind. She was petite, and always in a flowery dress. Her dark hair was streaked with gray and she had the softest brown eyes. She was loving and kind—the kind of woman that was a true mother. Forgiving.
“I’m good.” He drew a hard breath, pushing it out. “Mom...I…”
It was if she understood him. “Jacob, everything is fine here,” she said gently. “Your dad just had his breakfast and he’s out on the porch, reading the morning paper. And Kaitlin, well, she’s the same. Don’t you worry.”
But he did worry. Every damn day.
His choices thus far had proven he didn’t know how to be happy or how to make others happy. His ex-wife was proof. A woman he’d hoped to remarry.
Life had made another judgement call.
“Mom,” he said, clearing his throat. “Thank you for looking after her.”
“You know that I’d do anything in the world for you, Jacob.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, wishing he’d been a better son and a better husband to Kaitlin, but his regrets were too many.
“It wasn’t your fault, son.”
His mother’s voice penetrated the fog of his desperate mind.
Kaitlin’s accident had been his fault. Or at least he had suggested the location.
“After my first tour, she wanted the divorce,” he said.
“Honey, sometimes a married couple needs time apart. Sometimes a divorce helps the decision process. It’s closure to a situation. It’s ending your time, legally, so you can find peace. At the time, Kaitlin needed space from you and you needed to gain some perspective too. You didn’t come home the same man.”
True. He’d lost his most of his unit after a raid, which had leveled his confidence. He hadn’t been good for much, especially not for his sweet wife that needed him. She had asked for a divorce and he gave it to her. He gave her what she wanted without a fight. Not long after, he had asked for another mission, yet something closer to home. Training kept him busy and so did the missions, but he was able to gain Kaitlin’s confidence again. They soon were hoping to marry again. Everything fell back into place.
“I should have left her to follow her life without me in it,” he said softly.
“Kaitlin loved you, Jacob. I can’t think of one woman that wouldn’t want to work out her differences with the love of her life.”
He made a disgruntled sound, but his mother kept going, “Every week, she came by; wanting to be sure you were safe. She was worried.”
“But I should have remarried her sooner. She needed to know that I loved her. I should have…” he trailed off thinking of his wrong choices.
“You could have done things differently. Kaitlin loved you. Never doubt that.” She sighed. “May I ask where this coming from?”
He hated to mention Jennifer because she was a possibility, not a certainty. He didn’t believe in possible anymore. “Guilt, mainly,” he said.
“Kaitlin’s accident wasn’t your fault, honey. You have to know that.”
It took him a long time to accept that, but he still felt responsible. Both he and Kaitlin had worked their way back together after a long separation. They had been planning their second wedding. He’d been gone on a two-week op, and couldn’t wait to see her. He’d suggested meeting for dinner. He’d been running late. She’d waited outside the restaurant for him. Minutes only. He could see her waiting for him.
Some asshole ran a red light, hitting a car. Another car swerved to miss the accident, smashing into the restaurant behind Kaitlin. She reacted, trying to move out of the way. The restaurant sign fell on her. She lived, but with consequences. Her injuries were extensive; she was in a vegetative state and lived in a nursing home. She’d never be the same.
One moment he and Kaitlin had been happy with hope, and then the next, he’d been devastated. Shattered. Five years later, he was ready to move forward in life.
“You are worth loving, son,” his mother said.
He didn’t think so anymore. Yet he wanted to seek out his mother’s thoughts and see how she’d react to another woman in his life. “I may have...met someone.”
“Oh, honey.”
He quickly added, “But I’m not sure anything will come of it.” His heart thundered in his chest after saying these words. He didn’t realize how much he cared, or how much they tortured his thoughts.
“The heart is a wonderful
thing,” his mother began. “It’s like a collage with many compartments. A place where love can be stored, remembered—and never forgotten. You’ll always love Kaitlin. When your heart is ready to love someone else, you’ll know it. You have enough room in your heart to love again. Forgive yourself, Jacob, and find happiness.”
He still battled his doubts. “But would Kaitlin think so?”
“I know she’d want you to be happy. Her doctors have stated that she’ll remain as she is for the rest of her life. You can’t put your life on hold for her recovery that won’t happen. I’m afraid, if you do, you’ll end up with nothing but regrets.”
Her words pierced his darkness and shed some light in his world. But he needed to think more. Feel the separation he was making between him and Kaitlin. He ached to pull closer to Jennifer. “Thank you, Mom. I appreciate everything, especially listening to me prattle away like a girl.”
She gave a breathy laugh. “I love you, Jacob. Always know that.”
His heart broke every day. He wondered how he could ever think of drawing another woman into his heart...not after losing everything. The deepest pain he held close to his heart battered him every day. While Kaitlin lost her vibrant life, she’d also been pregnant. She’d lost their child.
****
Life simply existed for Jennifer. Another day, another dollar. She didn’t know if closing herself off from the world was a good thing or not. Except for her friendship with Brooke, she didn’t have anyone else close to her. Even their relationship had limitations. Brooke now lived in Washington, D.C., and she had her own life problems to battle. She had Damon Sinclair to give her hope—to know that happiness could be shared with someone. Well, even if Brooke was a little too stubborn to accept him. One day, he’d reach inside her girl and figure out what beauty lay beneath her skin.
Glancing at her watch, Jennifer had thirty minutes before work to grab a coffee. She settled down at a table, overlooking Main Street. Flipping through her phone, she found a picture from Brooke, crossing her eyes. It was a selfie of her at the office and her stacks of files. The caption read, ‘I’m going places! Luv u! Miss u!’
Jennifer laughed, hitting the reply button, So proud of you, doll face. Just b careful with goofy faces. UR face will freeZZZe! Luv and miss u too!
“May I sit with you?”
Startled, Jennifer looked up into the brightest blue eyes she’d ever seen. The man was cute with a head of dark hair. Conservatively dressed in a nice suit, he had that preppy, GQ feel to him.
Without thinking, she waved a hand over the empty seat across from her. “Sure.”
He placed his coffee on the table, taking a seat. “I’m sorry if this sounds like a corny line, but I couldn’t help but notice you. I wanted to try my chances.”
As he flashed a grin, she took a moment to reflect on his handsomeness. He had that classic, come-hither cuteness, fresh and well groomed. He was exactly the kind of guy she usually went for and a sadness bloomed deep down. She wouldn’t be intentionally rude to him.
Pasting on a smile, she forced herself to relax. “I was just having coffee before work.”
“Oh? What do you do?”
“Advertising. You?”
He rested an elbow on the table, looking like one of those model type of photos in magazines. “A loan officer.”
She went against her decision to swear off random men. She spent her remaining few minutes talking to him. They made plans for the movies later that night. In the back of mind, she hated herself for reneging on her no men credo, especially when he wasn’t what she wanted. But Donavan was out of reach. She needed to forget him. If possible. This new guy could turn out to be her Prince Charming.
Later that afternoon, she called Brooke. “Hey, baby doll. How are you? How’s Hottie Sinclair?”
“He’s fine,” Brooke replied. “What’s up with you?”
Ouch! Her friend deflected so fast. Things must not be going well with Damon. She’d let Brooke have space and not push her into confessing her feelings. For Jennifer, it wasn’t as if she had ridden the honest-with-her-best-friend train. Donavan came to mind. Some things were hard to put into words. When Brooke needed her, she’d be here for her. This was their way. Always had been.
Jennifer blew out a breath. “I met a guy.”
“Who? What’s his name?”
She giggled. “Here’s the kicker. We didn’t share names.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah. When I told him my latest run with guys, he suggested we should take things slow and get to know each other. Wasn’t that sweet of him?”
“But names are important, Jen. You don’t know who this guy is or what he’s after.”
“He’s nerdy. How dangerous can he be?” She sighed. “Anyway, we are supposed to go to the movies tonight, then coffee afterwards. I don’t think he’s gonna try anything.”
“Still...be careful,” Brooke said. “Stay in public areas until you get to know him better.”
“I will. Don’t worry.” Jennifer gave another laugh. “I’ll call and give you all the deets.”
~ 4 ~
Jennifer had been attacked?
Anger swelled in Donavan’s gut, the kind he reserved for lethal judgement. The place where he killed and didn’t care. A venue he where he played his vengeance card and relished the satisfaction of justice.
He was inbound to Bel-Air Hospital via Mr. Sinclair’s private helicopter. They couldn’t get there fast enough. Bile burned the back of his throat, ready to punch someone.
His hand tightened around his phone. He had sent a guy ahead to Bel-Air Hospital.
With a grim twist to his lips, he texted Anderson, Status on West? Location and room#?
The man’s reply was instant, She’s in X-ray. Possible broken ribs. 4th floor, room 318. Your ETA?
Donavan glanced at his watch before replying, 20 mins. Stay put.
Anderson replied, Copy that.
A slow burn ruptured into a raging fire through his stomach. Who the hell beat her? He’d find out, and then they’d pay.
****
Donavan stalked toward Jennifer’s room. He could breathe fire with the amount of anger gathering in his body. Each step hurt, but he walked with purpose.
He had to see her first.
He didn’t bother to wait as he pushed the door open. Thank fuck, he found her alone. Their eyes connected, and her gasp was unmistakable.
Jennifer appeared so small, like a broken china doll. Her red hair was messy, brushing her shoulders. Her left eye was swollen shut with black and blue bruising. A bandage covered her left arm.
His jaw clenched.
She didn’t say a word as she stared back at him.
Don’t cry, Red, please.
He’d never survive her tears.
Donavan strode up to her bedside, holding her gaze. “I’ll find whoever did this,” he vowed, willing himself not to growl or show too much emotion. He didn’t want to scare her.
Hold it together, man.
Her tears fell, knocking his anger up a few notches. She was falling apart, and his hands ached to hold her.
Jennifer shook her head. “You don’t owe me anything,” she said in a small, tight voice. “Don’t do me any favors, He-Man.”
She knew how to rile me up.
He leaned closer, flashing a half-smile, but he wasn’t amused. “Don’t play the hero, Red. That’s my job,” he whispered.
She sucked in a breath, more tears falling. “S-since you work for Damon, I don’t want anyone to know about us.”
Straightening, he felt the burn of reproof slide over his cheek, as if she’d slapped him. “They won’t find out—not from me.” He saluted two fingers off his brow, and then left. Every step away from her broke off another chunk of regret from his internal armor. She’d gotten inside him.
Anderson stopped him. “Commander, we’ve got a problem.”
Donavan raised an eyebrow. “Bigger than this shit show?” He grunted. “Surprise m
e.”
The other man nodded toward the waiting room. “That man, holding an ice pack to his neck, was with Ms. West when she was attacked.”
Donavan glanced the man’s way, his eyes narrowing.
She was with him? This skinny douche? She deserves better.
“His name?”
“Carson Mayes, a loan officer,” Anderson said.
A dark chill settled over Donavan. He wanted answers. “Bring him to my Hummer.”
“Sir—”
He glared at Anderson. “What?”
His man gulped, paling. “His story checks out. Maybe we should forego your...usual interrogative measures.”
His eyes narrowed to slits. “I decide what measures to take. Bring him or find another job.” Lately, Anderson acted as if he couldn’t hack his job, always questioning his orders. That had to stop. Either he was on board, or he wasn’t. He didn’t need anyone on his team that couldn’t follow a damn order. Lives were at stake.
As Donavan trekked out of the hospital, everyone gave him a wide berth. He knew he looked scary enough, wearing his black military clothes. There wasn’t much he was afraid of, and he certainly didn’t bow to conformity.
Walking out of the hospital, he found two of his guy’s standing ready. Protocol was priority one. He was pleased to see them there without asking.
He paused beside Thompson and Reece. “Anderson is bringing someone out for a one-on-one Hummer visit.” He glanced at the entrance, then back at his men. “If he doesn’t walk through that door in five minutes, you find out why.”
“Yes, sir,” they said in unison.
He strode to the Hummer, smacking the flat of his hands down on the hood.
Donavon squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t even know this Carson Mayes, but he hated him already. It would take all his willpower not to kill him. And not for any other reason that he had been out on a real date with Jennifer. What traveled his veins wasn’t a seeker of justice, hell no. He was fucking jealous.
****
Jennifer didn’t know what to think about Donavan’s visit. The mad-hunk-of-man-meat was beyond her comprehension. They’d shared a night. A hot, glorious night, but he was a decadent fantasy she couldn’t indulge in.