Tender Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  He sought to resign himself to their impending separation. Perhaps her departure was for the best. In truth, he could no longer deny that his hunger and affection for her grew with each passing day. As a noted warrior he could not permit himself to fall in love with his white captive. Anguish knifed his heart, for he realized it was too late to prevent such a reprehensible act…

  Bright Arrow was plagued by the emotional battle which fiercely raged within his body. On one side was an entrancing white girl whom he craved beyond reason or control. But her skin proclaimed her as his avowed enemy. Already he had been too lenient and friendly toward her. On the opposing side were his people, his father, his friends, his undeniable destiny and duty: all scorned his attraction to this unique girl. They would never accept her, no matter how lowly her position.

  He was savagely torn between these two conflicting forces, for he knew which side he must inevitably take. He cursed her magic which had compelled him to refute Standing Bear’s claim upon her. Their fatal challenge should not have been over a mere white captive. He could not quell the rage which assailed him as he recalled the playful teasings and humiliating ridicule by his friends and other braves. They would never grant Rebecca any chance to earn their respect.

  Dread washed over him, for he recognized the signs of unrelenting hatred and jealousy in females. Agony joined that dread, for he resisted the belief that Rebecca deserved such cruel treatment. If only Rebecca wasn’t so special and submissive. If only she wasn’t white…

  Rebecca was lying upon her left side with her slender back to Bright Arrow. She could just barely restrain the tremors of her body which would alert him to her wakefulness and tears. She did not want him to learn how deeply she loved and wanted him. She did not want him to know how much torture it would bring her to leave him in only three more days. It was clear to even her innocent mind that Bright Arrow wanted her, perhaps felt deep affection toward her. But it was also clear that he would follow his father’s wishes. Unless Gray Eagle changed his mind about sending her away, she would be out of Bright Arrow’s life in just a few days. Change his mind…She quelled her bitter laughter before it shattered the silence around her. She could not imagine that puissant warrior ever altering any decision he had made!

  Why did Gray Eagle hate and resent her so much? Warriors took white slaves and squaws all the time. Why was her captivity to his son so disturbing? There was something about the way he looked at her; there was something about the way his aura emitted deep-rooted hostility. He despised her, but she realized it was not wholly because of her white skin or her enslavement to his son. Those things played a major part in his behavior, but his animosity was for a much deeper reason. What unspeakable horror did she remind him of each time he glared at her with those igneous, coal-black eyes?

  She had tried in every way possible to dispel his resentment. She had obeyed every order and command. She had forced herself to be pleasant, meek, and industrious. She had helped Shalee with anything and everything. Yet, nothing seemed to please him; nothing seemed to lessen his inexplicable hatred.

  Every time Rebecca accidentally touched Gray Eagle, he jerked away as if she had burned him! He contemptuously glared at her each time she demurely smiled at him, trying to let him know she did not feel that same hostility and repulsion. He seemed offended by everything she did. Why? her ravaged heart cried.

  Then, there were those strange stares of his. Every so often she would find his piercing eyes upon her. He possessed a powerful gaze which could strip a female naked. She trembled at the way his eyes leisurely travelled her entire body. Could it be possible that he desired her as a woman? Could that be the source of his resentment? Could he hate her for stirring unwanted lust within his body? Surely not, Rebecca thought, for he already possessed the most beautiful, desirable woman alive!

  Didn’t Gray Eagle realize it was his striking resemblance to his son which caused her to stare at him? Rebecca pondered. She often wondered if this was how Bright Arrow would look in twenty years. They were so much alike! Without a doubt, Bright Arrow could easily be a youthful Gray Eagle. Thankfully, Bright Arrow also possessed many of his mother’s traits and qualities…

  Having been raised in the wilderness, there had been little for Rebecca to learn after coming to the Sioux camp. She knew how to gather wood and to make a competent fire. She knew how to tan hides and skins and how to sew. She knew how to wash clothes in a river and how to cook over an open campfire. She knew how to prepare meat and to gather vegetables and fruits which were edible. She knew and did such chores every day at the side of Shalee.

  Shalee…Rebecca knew how lucky she was to be in the Indian princess’s gentle hands. It had not taken long for Rebecca to note her good fortune. She would do nothing to dishonor or to displease this special creature who was so patient and cordial. In fact, Shalee’s acceptance encouraged Rebecca to work even harder. During these past few days, they had become friends of a sort. They clearly respected each other. They got along well. They even enjoyed each other’s company and assistance. Shalee was tolerant and instructive. She was satisfied with Rebecca’s skills and knowledge. Very few times did she give orders, for it was unnecessary. Rebecca was quick to anticipate her wishes and to perform them. Rebecca’s lack of rebellion and insolence had inspired a truce between them.

  Much to Rebecca’s surprise and joy, Shalee was trying to teach her Oglala. With her knowledge of signing and her astute mind, these lessons were stimulating and helpful. Frequently the two women would burst into laughter as Rebecca attempted to repeat some word which was extremely difficult to say, for Sioux was a guttural language. How she longed to remain here with Shalee and Bright Arrow, for she knew she could easily fit into their life. But Gray Eagle was the unmovable barrier in her road to happiness.

  Rebecca’s troubled thoughts darted down a different path. She suspected those Indian girls had placed that snake in the leather bag she had been using the day before. It was doubtful that squirming snake had crawled inside a closed parfleche. She could close her eyes and clearly envision that scene. She could almost hear the girls’ malicious laughter as she had opened the bag to place some buffalo berries inside.

  Why were they being so cruel to her? She wasn’t responsible for the conflict between the white man and the Indian. Neither was she to blame for being Bright Arrow’s personal captive: the real motive for their spitefulness. Yet, she had suffered her fears and anguish in silence. To tell Bright Arrow or Shalee about their spitefulness would be futile. She knew she had to learn to ignore such vindictiveness. Somehow she needed to prove to them she was not their enemy, not a rival for their beloved warrior!

  Shalee lay awake hours after the other three people were fast asleep, her troubled mind reflecting upon many contradictions in the past few days. She retraced them to discover what was alarming and plaguing her so deeply that she could not lose herself in restful slumber. Bright Arrow was behaving just as she had predicted, but Rebecca and Gray Eagle were not! At first, things had unexpectedly gone smoothly and peacefully for everyone. She had even come to like this vulnerable white girl. Rebecca had gradually become a perfect slave. Perhaps too obliging and perfect?

  Shalee analyzed her turmoil. Rebecca was smart for a girl of her tender years. She had quickly and easily obeyed each of their orders. Desperately wanting peace and naturally feeling a kinship to this white girl, Shalee realized she had naively drawn many erroneous conclusions. Rebecca had not revealed any defensive rebellion at all! She had not resisted her intimate place upon Bright Arrow’s mat. She had presented friendship and demure acceptance. How was this possible so quickly and easily? Was she too willing and eager to accept her captivity? Was she really guileful and devious? Was Rebecca only pretending with her and Bright Arrow?

  Having once been in a similar situation, Shalee could not comprehend Rebecca’s agreeable conduct. It was only natural to experience some amount of resentment and defiance. Yet, Rebecca had not. Shalee involuntarily recalled how s
he had futilely resisted her enslavement to her intrepid warrior, now her husband. How was it possible for Rebecca not to experience those same types of instinctive emotions? How was it possible for Rebecca not to defy them in some small way? How could Rebecca simply behave as if she felt no hatred, humiliation, anguish, or bitterness? Was it all a charade until she could win their trust and somehow escape? Was she eagerly and desperately attempting to remain here forever with them? Surely she realized how lucky she was to be enslaved by her son! Perhaps she was only feigning the perfect slave in order to say with them…how could she blame Rebecca for such a ploy?

  Yet, Shalee finally admitted what was truly bothering her. It was those subtle, powerful, confusing undercurrents which passed between Rebecca and her masterful husband! In the beginning, she had assumed Rebecca was only trying to win his friendship and acceptance. But after today, Shalee’s opinions had altered drastically.

  Out hunting with other braves, Bright Arrow had not been present for the midday meal. While she had been putting away the wild vegetables which she and Rebecca had just gathered for use at the evening meal, Rebecca had been commanded to serve Gray Eagle’s food. Shalee had glanced over at them just as the young girl had handed the dish to Gray Eagle. Shalee had frozen in shock at the look which passed between her son’s captive and her virile husband.

  As Rebecca’s and Gray Eagle’s gazes had met and joined, the brazen girl had not released her hold upon the dish, nor had her husband pulled it from her tight grasp! He had simply drilled his ebony gaze into her tawny ones, seeming to forget his surroundings and even reality—just as the stunning captive did! For what had seemed an endless lapse of time, they had stared at each other. Then to Shalee’s disbelief, Gray Eagle’s eyes had calmly roved over the girl from auburn head to slender ankle. Simultaneously, the girl’s gaze had boldly surveyed her husband’s virile torso and handsome features with the slowness of a snail! Then, their eyes had locked once more, this time glowing with a mysterious gleam which Shalee had witnessed and still raged against.

  In fury and anguish, Shalee had torn her panicked gaze from the treacherous sight before her. It had required some minutes before she could control her volatile emotions. She could not trust herself to speak or to look at either of them until she could regain her poise. Traitorous suspicions screamed accusations against both of them. She felt betrayed.

  Was there some irresistible force drawing them to each other? Was this mysterious magnetism the evil which Gray Eagle had sensed and wanted to prevent? Did he secretly desire this white girl for himself? Was he envious of his son’s possession of her? Was his resentment based upon sweltering lust for Rebecca? It couldn’t be true!

  Shalee envisioned that dramatic scene once more. She recalled how Rebecca had looked at her husband, how she had been unable or unwilling to look away from his probing and appreciative gaze. Shalee scolded herself. Had she been blind? Was this girl encouraging her husband to lust after her? Was she cunningly attempting to seduce Gray Eagle? Did she honestly believe she could steal him away from his wife, could entice him into keeping her here? What vile and wicked mischief was Rebecca practicing upon the man she loved!

  After lunch, Shalee had made it a point to watch them closely yet furtively. She had no way of knowing that her husband was testing Shalee’s theory for himself. She had no way of knowing that Gray Eagle was covertly trying to trick the girl into exposing her true feelings for all of them. She had no way of knowing that he suspected Rebecca of crafty seduction upon him. All Shalee noticed was the intense way in which her traitorous husband kept observing the slave girl who belonged to their son! She also witnessed the way in which Rebecca warmly responded to Gray Eagle’s guile.

  Tragically, all were misled and mistaken. For Rebecca only reacted with naive attempts to win Gray Eagle’s friendship and acceptance; she responded to the similarity in looks to his son. As the day had progressed, Rebecca had become disquieted by the smoldering way in which that indomitable warrior kept staring at her. Each time she had uncontrollably glanced in his direction to see if he was still watching her, her artless looks were misread by both Shalee and Gray Eagle…

  Lying there for the fourth night without the solace and affection from her husband’s arms, Shalee mistakenly assumed Gray Eagle was gradually losing interest in her and was steadily desiring this younger female who rested upon Bright Arrow’s mat. Indignation and jealousy chewed viciously at her. She should have allowed Gray Eagle to send Rebecca away that first day! She had been a fool to speak out for her! Rebecca was nothing like her! Shalee fiercely admonished herself. She had been a sentimental romantic and a wide-eyed idealist to help this girl who was obviously making a brazen play for her husband! She had befriended Rebecca; she had helped and comforted her. And this was to be her payment! Now she comprehended why Rebecca was portraying the perfect slave: she wanted to catch Gray Eagle’s eye and heart! How dare she! If Rebecca initiated a battle for Gray Eagle, then she would most assuredly find one: a very bloody and costly one!

  Shalee fretted over a previous action of Rebecca’s which took place two days past. Had it truly been an accident or a simple error in judgment? Rebecca was intelligent; surely she realized certain berries were poisonous! Perhaps she had excused Rebecca’s mistake too quickly. Had Rebecca secretly and vengefully tried to kill them? Or had Rebecca only desired to remove her presence, to find some way to have both men to herself? Or perhaps to have Gray Eagle to herself?

  When Shalee had noted the dull red berries in Rebecca’s bowl, she had instantly jerked it from the startled girl’s grip just before she added them to the wasna mix. But when she managed to get her alarmed message across to the wide-eyed girl, she had appeared shocked and distressed by Shalee’s reaction.

  Since Shalee knew English, Rebecca’s anxious response had dispelled her suspicions. She had shrieked, “I’ve never seen these kinds of berries before, Shalee! I thought you put them in the bowl. Who would do such a wicked and dangerous thing? We could all have died! I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful,” she had promised.

  But now, Shalee wondered at this suspicious mistake! What better way to get a man’s wife out of the picture? Perhaps his wife and his son? Did Rebecca wish all their deaths or only hers? If only she knew if this was an honest mistake…

  Each of the three was caught up in an emotional triangle which existed only within their troubled minds…

  Fear, sadness, and anguish weighed heavily upon Shalee’s frightened mind and tormented heart. Tears eased down her cheeks, for she remembered how she had once fascinated, bewitched, and ensnared Gray Eagle. Long ago, she had been in a similar state of youthful innocence. Her vulnerability, sensual appeal, and artlessness had inspired him to boldly capture her. Irresistibly drawn to him and powerless to refuse him anything, he had enchanted her beyond reason. Even while rebelling against his enslavement and cruelty, she had fallen in love with him, coming to desire him as she had no other man.

  In those first days, she had been like a stimulating and intoxicating drug to him, an aphrodisiac which plagued and enflamed his virile body. Her helpless condition had filled him with a heady sense of power. She had unknowingly compelled and enticed him to possess her, body and soul. Her inevitable submission to him had assuaged his arrogance, determination, and prowess. With her final capitulation, he had proven his power. He had easily won their battle.

  She bitterly recalled how he had defensively concealed his love for her until she had been accepted as Black Cloud’s daughter. But ever since the day of their first meeting, he had never looked upon another female with carnal desire. After becoming his wife, she had satisfied each of his desires and needs. Now her confidence and appeal were being threatened by this ivoryskinned girl who was a striking replica of the female who had once bravely and boldly invaded the indomitable Eagle’s domain…

  Was Rebecca becoming a similar challenge to his ego and prowess? Was she evoking those same feelings of excitement, and daring? Was he at that vulner
able age where a man wanted and needed such enlivenment, to be shown he was still virile and irresistible, to prove himself as sensually potent and magnetic as ever?

  Gray Eagle’s pensive mood and reserved conduct had increased Shalee’s fears and worries. Caught up in his own emotional conflict, he was totally unaware of his wife’s inner turmoil.

  Shalee craved Gray Eagle’s touch and comfort. But each time she had made a romantic overture toward him, he had smiled regretfully and pleaded with her to wait until this annoying intruder was out of their tepee. If that refusal of lovemaking wasn’t distressing enough, he had even avoided her kisses, her caresses, even her gaze. This was unlike him. Before Rebecca had come to stay with them, he had been unable to have enough of her. Now, he didn’t seem to want or to need her at all! His unconscious withdrawal hurt Shalee deeply, for she misunderstood the reasons behind it. She wanted and needed her lover, and he was not there for her…

  Shalee could not help remembering something she had said to Gray Eagle eighteen years ago: “One day you will recall I am all white, and you will turn against me. I would rather lose you now than later. I could not bear it, Wanmdi Hota, for I love you more than life itself.”

  He had laughed heartily and hugged her fiercely, telling her, “It does not matter to me now, and it never will. From this day on, you are Shalee; you-will be mine forever.” But the enormous lie had always been there between them. It had coiled in hiding like a venomous snake waiting for the right moment to strike out and destroy her. It had hibernated for years; now, it had awakened in an irascible mood, wanting to attack whatever or whoever had disturbed its lengthy slumber. Enslaving her had been a huge and costly blow to Gray Eagle’s pride, one he had never truly forgotten or forgiven; surely this explained the look of guilt and resentment which filled his eyes before he could conceal it.