If she had to do it again, she’d do the same thing.
Tom closed his notebook and stood. “Thanks. If I have any other questions, I might have you both come to the station. Put some ice on that eye. It looks ugly.”
He smiled, but only half of Dylan’s face lifted. “Thanks.”
Only when the door closed did the reality finally hit home. She was still on the sofa, but her body began to shake. “I almost killed a man.” Would she have felt any worse if she had? The man was going to murder Dylan.
Gabe wrapped his arms around her. “You had to, baby. If he had stabbed Dylan, he would have come after you. You shot him in self-defense.”
She hung her head. It didn’t matter whether what he said was true. Too many emotions swirled inside her and she wasn’t able to sort through them all. Their jobs were dangerous and yet they’d been brave and resourceful and wonderful. She didn’t deserve them.
A sob broke through and the tears fell. Gabe held her tight, rocking her, soothing her, but nothing really seemed to help. She might have been sort of brave today, but she’d been a coward with John. “I don’t, don’t deserve you two.” She hiccupped, her breaths barely reaching her brain.
Gabe lifted her chin. “What are you talking about? You saved Dylan’s life. You’re the bravest woman we know.”
She shook her head. “I’m a coward.”
Dylan rotated her toward him, his face lined with fear. “Sugar. You’re upset and talking nonsense.”
She had to get the horror out. “No.”
“Tell us,” Dylan pleaded.
She choked out a sob. The horrors kept piling up on her. She had to tell them the truth about that night. “I didn’t tell you everything about me and John.”
Gabe rubbed her shoulder. “We’re here for you.”
She knew that. Tell them. She sniffled and inhaled. “When John called to tell me he was going to kill himself, you know what I said?”
She wove her fingers together, knowing that when she told them her darkest secret that they’d hug her once then tell her goodbye. She was a terrible person and didn’t deserve them.
“You told him not to do it.” Dylan’s voice faded away. Whether he lowered his voice or whether her brain blocked out the rest of his words, she didn’t know.
It was as if she was underwater, the horror of that night slowly emerging. She tried clawing her way to the surface, but John kept pressing her down.
“No. I told him to do it.”
“Do what, baby?”
Why couldn’t they see? Did she have to say it out loud? She looked over at Dylan then at Gabe. “I told him to kill himself, to get it out of the way, so I could live my life again.” Tears streamed down her cheeks and spit bubbled out the side of her mouth. Once more she dropped her head in her hands. “I knew that if I encouraged him, he just might find the strength to end his life.” She shook her head and sobbed. “I might as well have slit his wrists myself.” Her stomach heaved and bile raced to her mouth.
“It’s okay, baby. You didn’t kill John.”
She shook her head. It took her a minute to stop crying enough to talk. “He told me to come over. He sounded so desperate, but I took a shower before I did. A shower! I didn’t want to go. I wanted him to put me out of my misery.” Her eyes stung and acid raced up her throat. More sobs wracked her body.
Dylan rotated her toward him. “You didn’t want to face him anymore. He’d tried to drag you down and you knew if you’d stayed, he have taken you with him.”
He did understand, but that didn’t excuse her behavior. “John was sick. I never should have abandoned him. His medication wasn’t strong enough. I should never have told him I would leave him.”
The men rubbed her back, but nothing they could say would calm her. Then suddenly she was in Gabe’s arm and he was carrying her to his bed.
She tried to wiggle free. “I’ll be okay. I should drive home.”
“We picked you up if you remember.”
She couldn’t think. Had they gone to the club just a few hours before? It seemed like a lifetime ago. He placed her on the bed, removed her shoes and jeans, the covered her with the spread.
“Dylan and I will be in shortly. I want to make sure that stubborn man is okay.”
Why was he being so nice to her? If she’d hurried, she could have called 911 sooner and John might be alive. She could hear Gabe telling her that even if she’d saved him this time, he would have succeeded the next time. Some people were meant to self-destruct.
Why weren’t they mad? Why didn’t they tell her she was a terrible person and a coward? Her brain ceased to think clearly.
She wanted to wait up for them to come to bed, but she must have fallen into a deep slumber. She only awoke when faint light streamed in the window. She sat up and groaned, feeling like shit. Her eyes were swollen from all the crying and her mouth was sand dry. She expected to be met by the usual self-loathing that greeted her every day, but instead worry for Dylan encased her.
She eased out of bed and opened the door to the living room. Dylan and Gabe were at the kitchen table, coffee in their hands. The aroma woke up her senses.
Gabe turned. “Hey. You sleep well?”
She hadn’t expected him to be so cheerful. “Yes.”
As she approached the table, Dylan turned around and her heart caught in her throat. One eye was shut, his cheek was purple and yellow, and his cut lip looked painful. “Oh, Dylan. Let me get you some ice.”
She’d taken one step when he grabbed her wrist. “I already have one nursemaid, I don’t need another. Please sit.”
Gabe pushed back his chair. “Let me pour you some coffee.”
“Lots of sugar please.”
“You got it.”
Dylan placed a hand on hers. “About last night.”
Her stomach tumbled. Here it comes. “I know what I did was wrong.”
“Shh. Listen, there’s something we need to tell you. We totally get why you did what you did.”
No they didn’t. They couldn’t. “I should have helped John get help.”
“In the war, I saw some terrible things. One of the men in my unit stepped on a land mine that blew off his legs and one hand.” Her heart nearly tore. “I rushed toward him, picked him up, and ran as fast as I could to my Jeep. The man kept screaming for me to let him be, that he didn’t want to live without his legs or hand.”
Dylan was a true hero. “He was in shock,” she said. She could understand why he’d say that.
“That’s what I thought. The medics arrived, stabilized him, and eventually he made it back to the States.”
“You saved him.”
His lips pressed together. “I visited Chuck a few times but every time I showed up, he told me he hated me, and kept asking me why I had to save him when he wanted to die. Chuck was so miserable that he drove away his wife and daughter.” Dylan’s chin trembled. “From what I’ve learned, he dragged down his whole family until he finally overdosed and died.” He looked up at her, his one eye watery. “Chuck is now at peace.” He grabbed her hand. “Sometimes we have to let a person go.”
At the end, the stress from the job had become too much for John. He’d lost some of his clients all of their life savings. “Maybe you’re right.”
“You’re a wonderful, brave woman. It was John who didn’t deserve you.” Dylan lifted her chin. “Ceci look at me.”
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gabe place her coffee in front of her and turn the mug just the way she liked it. A tear leaked out. Now she’d have good luck for the day. “Yes?”
“We love you, Ceci Armstrong. We love the way you run your fingers over your phone twice before you answer it so it will bring you good luck. We love how your get comfort from your ice cream or need to have things lined up just so. It’s who you are, and we want you to stay with us.”
She couldn’t believe the words. They should be telling her that they hated her. Instead, they told her they loved her. Thi
s was too good to be true. “I love you both so much.” She choked.
Gabe was by her side in a flash. “Don’t be sad. We want you, idiosyncrasies and all.”
“I didn’t rub my finger around the phone when I called 911. I was too scared.”
Gabe smiled. “There you go. It’s progress.”
She picked up her cup, blew on the steaming liquid, and sipped the sugary confection. “It’s perfect.”
“So are you, baby. And after breakfast if you want to take a shower, maybe Dylan and I can show you just how perfect we think you are.”
She choked out a laugh. “You want to have sex?”
Dylan touched her arm. “Why do you find that so preposterous?”
“Your face is battered.”
He slapped his hand over his mouth and widened his eyes. “Oh, no. Am I too ugly for you?”
Now she gave him a full-blown smile. “No. I’d take you two no matter what either of you looked like.”
Gabe collapsed onto his seat. “Oorah. Now we don’t have to shave.”
She scrunched up her nose. “I won’t be kissing you until your beard grows out then. I’m not sure I can take the razor burn.”
Dylan lowered his chin. “Sugar, you’ll have to put up with it on me for a few days until I can shave my ugly mug.”
She smiled. “I’ll make an exception.”
Gabe pushed back his chair and walked to the stove, pulled the pan of eggs from the burner, and placed the dish on a trivet in the center of the table. “Bacon will be up in a moment.”
Today sure was going to be one to remember.
Chapter Twenty
Ceci had just finished rinsing her hair when the bathroom door opened and both Gabe and Dylan walked in naked. “Oh, my.” Her hands stilled, and she let the water cascade over her body as she took in their glory.
“We’ve come to see what’s taking you so long,” Gabe said.
“That’s his excuse.” Dylan looked at Gabe. “I don’t know about you, but I stink and need a shower.” He slid the door open and stepped inside.
The urge to run her hands down his body nearly undid her. She had to get the soap out of her hair first before engaging in any hanky panky. She didn’t trust the men not to whisk her to the bed, soap and all.
Gabe entered and stepped next to her since Dylan had turned on the other showerhead. “I’m thinking we should put on another addition. One that would have a room big enough for a super large bed—maybe even two queens pressed together—along with another great shower.” Gabe rubbed a thumb over her nipple. “What do you think, baby?”
“It sounds great.” Why was she always waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop? She had to alter her thinking.
Gabe ducked his head under the water, grabbed the soap, and quickly washed. He clasped her waist, guided her away from the flow, and rinsed his body. He returned her to the shower, but then turned her around. “I gotta have access to your back.”
“I can never reach back there.” She stepped to the side, planted her palms on the shower wall and spread her legs in the hopes he’d clean more than her back.
He chuckled then dragged soapy hands down her breasts. Yes!
“That tickles.” Ceci looked back over her shoulder. “I thought you wanted to wash my back.”
“In a minute, baby. Let me enjoy these divine creations.”
Divine creations indeed. She reached behind her to grab his cock, but before she touched him, he grabbed her wrist. “Uh-huh. Not yet.”
“Why do I always have to wait? Who put you in charge anyway?”
He turned her around fast and spray bounced off his shoulder and hit her chest. “We know what’s best for you.”
“Because you two are Doms?” She wondered when they would start having her call them Sir or Master and bring out more of the sex toys.
Though to be honest, she considered this a Dominant-submissive relationship since they never let her do what she wanted to do anyway. On the other hand, they also cared about what felt good for her.
Dylan had finished showering, turned off his showerhead, and moved to her other side. Now she was outnumbered.
He clamped a hand over her pussy. “You know we want to make you happy. We never want to give you an excuse to want to leave us.” When he slipped a finger into her pussy, she rose up on her toes as tingles rippled up her body.
The man had magic fingers and could turn her on something fierce.
“Let’s get you clean, baby. Dylan and I have something special planned for you.” He winked then turned her to face Dylan who turned off the faucet that was splashing on her.
“Grab hold of the showerhead and don’t move.” Dylan guided her hands upward.
As soon as she took hold of the metal, being this helpless sent her pussy into spasms. She let out a moan as her imagination ran wild with images of hard sex and lots of kissing and licking and fucking.
“You look so beautiful, baby.”
“You’re standing behind me.”
“I know.”
Silly man. They each poured soap in their palms—or at least Dylan did and the fact he passed the container to Gabe implied he did, too—and began to run her up and down. At first she thought only Dylan was being extra thorough, having rubbed her breasts until they tingled, but Gabe slid his fingers not only between her butt crack but into her anus as well. She wondered if part of their surprise would include Gabe fucking her ass and Dylan being in her pussy. It would be the ultimate testament to their love—being united as one.
Dylan dropped to one knee and rubbed his hands up and down her legs. “Can’t get too clean.”
She doubted that was the reason why he was down there. Sure enough, he slipped two fingers into her cunt and swirled them around. “Oh, yeah.” Her tone sounded damned desperate. It didn’t matter that they knew how much she yearned to be with them.
“We need you clean, sugar.”
“Uh-huh.”
As soon as Dylan stood, Gabe detached the head from the wall and she lowered her arms. Dylan stepped to the other side, took the second head off the wall. When they turned on the water, she felt like she was in a car wash.
“Turn around and close your eyes.”
Gabe opened her butt cheeks and rinsed her clean. Then Dylan sprayed her pussy sending more sparks up her body. By the time the water stopped, she was sure every ounce of soap was now down the drain.
“We need to dry you off real good, baby.”
She could only imagine how raw she’d be after that experience. “How about I dry you guys, too?”
“Okay.”
She hadn’t expected Gabe to agree. Dylan helped her out and handed her a towel. “For your hair.”
She rubbed her head with the towel then twisted it into a turban. She expected them to hand her a towel to dry them, but they seemed intent on using the towels to dry her completely.
Dylan wedged open her legs. “Don’t move and hold out your arms.”
The loss of control should have freaked her out, but when she was with these men, she was good. Not that her guilt from John’s death would ever go away, but having shared it with Gabe and Dylan, and them supporting her would go a long way to help her heal.
Instead of rubbing her briskly, they each took a tip of the towel and patted her dry, taking extra care on her nipples, pussy, and ass. At this rate, she’d air dry.
“Aren’t you two cold dripping like that?”
Dylan puffed out his chest. “We’re men, Kemosabe. We tough animals.”
She laughed. “Remember, I’d like to reciprocate.”
Gabe stopped drying her ass. “How about just enjoying the ride and letting us be your guides? If there is anything that makes you uncomfortable, let us know, okay?”
They were right. “I’m good. I’m new to all of this stuff.”
Dylan wrapped the towel around her midriff and tucked in the end. “That’s what makes it extra special. You’re allowing us the chance to open up a whole ne
w world to you.”
They were indeed.
Gabe handed her a towel. “Since you seem to have to urge to dry us, be quick about it.”
She grinned and lightly dragged the towel down his right arm and then his left. Since she liked symmetry, she dropped down to dry his right leg, then his left. The whole time, he didn’t move, which gave her plenty of chance to admire his bulging muscles. His cock, she decided, she’d leave for last. With care she dragged the towel down his chest then made him turn around so she could dry his back. His face seemed to have dried on its own.
Wanting to keep everything equal, she turned around to dry Dylan. He stood there grinning, with a damp towel in his hand. “I thought I’d hurry the process.”
“But I only got to dry one of you.”
“You fucked up, Dylan. You know Ceci likes to do things in even numbers.”
“My bad,” Dylan said with no remorse. He turned around and presented her with his ass. “Go ahead, sugar. Slap me.”
He was ridiculous, but she’d play along. She tapped his ass four times. “There.”
“That’s not a slap. Spank me like you mean it. Make my cock take notice.”
Her pussy sure enjoyed it when they spanked her. “Here goes.” With as much force as she could muster, she turned to the side and hit him hard. Twice. “Ouch.” Her palm stung.
Both men cracked up. A second later, she was airborne, and being carried into the bedroom. Gabe set her down in the middle of the bed.
“Close your eyes, baby, while Gabe and I get things ready.”
She trusted them and rested back onto the unmade bed. Drawers opened and her fertile mind raced to what she’d seen at Striker’s Lounge, which had peaked her curiosity. There were a lot of intriguing items at Elle’s shop, too. Goose bumps shivered up her arms in anticipation.
She decided she’d have to put her foot down at knives. While she’d read that fire play could be wonderful, despite her willingness to try some new things, she been a vanilla girl her whole life. It was all about baby steps.
The bed dipped and she opened her eyes. Gabe had pink furry handcuffs. “You okay if we tie you to the headboard? We’ll take them off anytime you ask.”
Dirty Pleasures [Pleasure, Montana 10] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) Page 17