"Yeah it took a while for her to get clean. She was in rehab longer than most of the junkies that go through it," Greg added. As a prison guard he was responsible for escorting the inmates to and from their treatments so he knew all too well that Valerie Snyder had tackled a major addiction problem.
"Well despite the fact that she kept quiet after being arrested, I'm thinking that she is as much to blame as her daughter. So let's see to it that Miss Valerie has a relapse," Trevor said with an intent and devious look on his face.
"You want me to get her product?" Greg asked for clarification.
"See to it that she gets enough to take her out," Barnes said flatly. Suddenly Hernida understood. He was no killer but he figured he could slip Valerie enough smack that she would end up killing herself with no problem. He nodded in agreement and then he went to see one of Trevor's guys to pick up the highest concentration he could get in a couple of needles. If he was going to do this, he wanted to make damn sure that he gave her enough to do the job.
The next day Greg Hernida called one of the other guards at the women's center and he asked him to swap a day so he could go to a doctor's appointment. Hernida didn't really need to see a physician but he did need to get in an extra day of work in order to carry out his plan. That day Hernida enlisted Mica to help him out. He quietly filled her in on the plan and he slipped her five needles. Mica's job was to get Valerie to shoot them all at once, causing her to overdose. Mica nodded and she hid the needles in the elastic waistband of her pants. Then Hernida escorted her to the common area so she could interact with Valerie.
Valerie was sitting at a table reading a book. Mica looked around nervously before approaching her. Mica stood near Valerie for a minute before working up the courage to go through with her task. Valerie saw her standing there and she looked up to confront her. Valerie and Mica had seen each other in passing both at Trevor's house and in the general population areas of the jail, but they didn't know each other. They never really talked and they certainly never hung out together.
"You want something?" Valerie asked trying to put on the tough appearance and demeanor that were necessary for survival in captivity. Mica looked around again and then she sat down next to Valerie.
"I understand that you used to acquire certain things from my friend, Trevor Barnes," Mica began. Valerie glared at Mica. She was less than thrilled that this girl had invaded her space and then started asking questions about Barnes.
"That was a long time ago, what's it to ya?" Valerie was already highly suspicious of this girl and the fact that she brought up Barnes made Valerie's skin crawl. Valerie put her book down on the table and she stared at Mica intently.
"Well you know I used to sell for Barnes too. See I manage to get a little something to help the time pass by in here, but I don't want to get high alone cause I get paranoid and depressed. I thought maybe you'd want to share with me. You know for a few hours we could slip away from this hell hole and fly around in our little worlds," Mica was very persuasive as she said this, then she reached in her pocket and pulled out a few needles to show Valerie under the table.
"Thanks, but I don't do anything anymore. I'm clean and it took me a long time to get that way," Valerie responded but she was clearly debating whether or not to take Mica up on the offer. Mica could see the longing in Valerie's eyes; she knew it would just take a little more persuasion.
"Come on, it's just a little. No one will ever know and it's not enough to get hooked again. Just a little buzz that's all, like having a couple of beers. Please I don't wanna do it by myself, that's just too sad," Mica pleaded.
Valerie tried to resist, but when Mica showed her the needles again, the desire was too much. Valerie nodded and then Mica said she had to go to the bathroom. Valerie took the hint and she followed her a few minutes later. The two of them met up in the bathroom stall and they each used one of the regular dose needles that Mica had in her possession. Valerie reveled in the high. She had missed that feeling so much and she allowed it to consume her. She wanted to enjoy every minute of it because she knew it was probably her last chance to ever get high again.
Once they were both really high, Mica offered another bump to keep it going. This time Valerie didn't even try to resist. The feeling had taken over and Valerie loved every second of it. Mica gave Valerie the first of the more concentrated needles. Within a few minutes Valerie was soaring. When Mica figured that Valerie was too high to fight her off, she shot her up with the rest of the vials. Mica watched as Valerie's eyes retracted, leaving her pupils the size of pinholes. Her breathing became shallow and she looked like she was starting to suffocate. Her skin turned ashen white and then it began to take on a blue tint. Mica started to wonder if this was really happening or if it was a hallucination brought on by her own drug use. Then Mica realized that she shouldn't be in there when Valerie died, so she exited the bathroom as fast as she could, locking the door behind her. Mica's own complexion had whitened and she felt sick to her stomach. She bumped into Greg Hernida and whispered that the job was done, and then she slipped him the empty needles so he could dispose of the evidence before Valerie's body was found. Then Mica went back to her cell, where she spent the rest of the evening shaking with fear and regret for what she had done.
A few hours later an alarm rang throughout the jail. An announcement came over the PA system requesting that all inmates return to their cells with their hands resting outside of the bars. Each woman complied and was handcuffed through the bars of their cells, while their personal items were inspected. Once everything was thoroughly searched, the inmates were informed that Valerie Snyder had been found dead in the bathroom adjacent to the common area. Her official cause of death was heroin overdose. The warden addressed the inmates collectively. He announced that Valerie had multiple needle marks and yet no needles or vials were found with her body. This told him that she was not alone when she died or at the very least, she was not alone while she was getting high. All prisoners would undergo and immediate and mandatory series of drug testing. Anyone who tested positive for heroin had the chance of being brought up on murder charges and would likely get a significant extension on their sentence. Mica started to have a panic attack when she heard these words. She knew that she was going down for this and she started to shake and then she turned and vomited. The warden was too far away to notice this but Greg Hernida did notice Mica's reaction and it made him very nervous.
Hernida kept his emotions hidden, but inside panic was setting in for him as well. He was worried that Mica might talk about his involvement in an effort to save her own ass when she inevitably tested positive for heroin. The realization of what he must do washed over him like a tidal wave. He had to take Mica out before she was tested. When the warden finished his speech, Hernida made his way to the room where they kept all of the unauthorized items that had been found during the searches.
Another guard asked Hernida what he was doing. Greg pulled out a small bag of marijuana and said that he had found it on an inmate and he needed to check it in. In actuality the bag belonged to Hernida, but sacrificing a little weed was worth it to get him into the room without question. He placed the bag amongst the other paraphernalia and quickly grabbed a shiv that had been carved out of a cooking utensil. He pocketed the homemade knife and exited the room before anyone could walk in on him. Then he walked with a purpose toward the common area where he had last seen Mica. She wasn't in the recreation area but Hernida found her quickly enough. She had used her personal money to purchase some cranberry juice from the cafeteria. Hernida laughed to himself as she was clearly trying to clean out her system. Unfortunately he knew that the juice would be ineffective. He motioned to her to join him in an area that he knew was out of the view of the camera system. She cautiously made her way over, trying not to be suspicious in the act.
"What am I going to do? I'm gonna test positive and then I'm fucked!" Mica said in a forced whisper once she and Hernida were alone.
"Yeah I kno
w, I know. I have something that can help though. Let me see your hands," Hernida requested. Mica immediately held her hands out, palms up for Greg to inspect them. He carefully looked over her hands and wrists for a few seconds and then when he was sure that no one was looking, he pulled out the shiv and sliced her left wrist and then he covered her mouth quickly so she couldn't scream. Mica looked up at him with terrified eyes. Blood dripped from her wrists and pooled on the floor at her feet. She was losing blood so quickly that she passed out.
Greg Hernida wiped the shiv handle clean of his finger prints and then he placed it in Mica's right hand. Once he was sure that she had bled out he got out his radio and started to yell for help. Within a few seconds he was surrounded by his fellow guards. At this point he was holding Mica's body with his hands wrapped around her wrists like he had been trying to stop the bleeding. In actuality he felt that he needed to do this to explain both the blood on his clothes and any finger prints that might still be on the shiv or on Mica's body.
"I heard a banging sound and then I found her back her, she had this knife….I tried to stop the bleeding, but it was too late!" Greg swore in a panicked voice. He may have been lying through his teeth but the panic and distress he felt at her death were genuine enough. He liked Mica and he didn't want to kill her, but he had to protect himself as well. A medical examiner arrived shortly thereafter, and Mica was pronounced dead. Hernida was asked to give a statement and then he was sent home for the day on account of his blood soaked clothing and the emotional distress of his "tragic discovery."
Chapter Seventeen: Bittersweet
Alyssa was still struggling with the embarrassment of being caught in a precarious position with Jack at their office. She had not wanted to talk to him or anyone else and so she had unplugged her house phone and turned off her cell. Then she spent the next three days just wallowing in her own self-pity. Her thoughts juggled between a deep desire to be with Jack regardless of the consequences and an unrelenting guilt about putting him in a position where he could lose everything that he worked so hard for. She felt that getting caught was her fault because she had shared her fantasy of having office sex. Her words, her actions led to the potential destruction of Jack's career and his reputation. How could she face him now? On the other hand, how could she leave him and add breaking his heart to list of things she had already done.
Needless to say during this time Jack had left tons of messages for Alyssa. Each one was more desperate and more pleading than the previous one. More than anything Jack wanted to convince Alyssa not to end their relationship, and that the pain of potentially losing her far outweighed his other problems. Alyssa had not received any of these messages because she was downright afraid to listen to them. Hearing his voice was just too much for her to handle, so she had kept her phone turned off.
Jack messages were not the only ones that she had missed. The warden had called her fourteen times trying to inform her of her mother's death. When he was unable to reach Alyssa by phone, he sent two police officers to Alyssa's home to give her the tragic news. Alyssa heard the knocking through her sleep. She pulled the blanket over her head, hoping against hope that it would stop and that whoever was there would just go away and leave her alone. The knock came again, and this time someone shouted "Police!"
Alyssa's eyes dilated with fear. Why were the police knocking on her door? Had she done something wrong and not realized it? Perhaps they thought she was guilty of a crime that she did not commit. Alyssa nervously opened the door a crack and asked to see some identification. Both officers held up their badges for her to see. Alyssa removed the chain to open the door all the way. She looked terrible and the two officers noticed her disheveled appearance. Her hair was all knotted up. Black streaks of tear induced mascara runs were stained on her cheeks. Her eyes were red and puffy from nonstop crying and her clothes were filthy and wrinkled as she hadn't changed them or showered in three days. Based on her clearly distraught appearance, one of the officers thought she probably already knew about her mother.
"Alyssa Snyder?" he asked as Alyssa removed the chain and opened her door.
"Yes, how can I help you?" Alyssa responded in a tone that seemed awkwardly professional in comparison to how she looked.
"Ma'am, Warden Bimmes from the New York State Women's Correctional Facility has asked us to come and speak with you. May we come in?"
Alyssa stepped aside and allowed the officers to enter her home. Embarrassment and shame washed over her as they stepped inside because she had not cleaned in days. Dishes were piled in the sink and items were left strung about. The worst part was her couch because she had been sleeping there. Blankets and pillows were piled on the sofa. A small garbage can was placed in front of the couch and it was over flowing with used tissues.
"I apologize for the mess. I haven't been feeling well," said Alyssa apologetically.
"That's quite alright, Ma'am. We apologize for showing up unannounced. We made several attempts to contact you by phone but we were unsuccessful. We need to talk to you about your mother. Can we sit down?"
Alyssa quickly cleared away the blankets and tissues and made a place for the officers to sit. They indicated that she should take a seat as well. She apologized for not answering her phones. She told them that she had been ill and that she had shut them off so she could rest without being disturbed. Both officers told her that it was not a problem. They seemed to be avoiding the reason for their visit, so Alyssa once again asked them what it was about. The one officer leaned forward in his seat and he regarded Alyssa with a sorrowful look in his eyes and a solemn tone to his voice.
"I am truly sorry to tell you this, but your mother was found dead in one of the restrooms yesterday morning," he spoke with sadness as it pained him to deliver that kind of news to anyone.
"Wait, what?" Alyssa asked. Although she had heard the words clearly, her mind struggled to process the information.
"It looks like she managed to smuggle in some narcotics. Her official cause of death was an overdose of heroin," he said. The officers then proceeded to offer their condolences.
"No, no!" Alyssa yelled and then she got up and started pacing back and forth. Tears poured from her eyes and a silent scream overtook her airway that lead into a prolonged sob. The two officers shifted uncomfortably in their seats.
"Is there anything we can do?" the one police man offered.
"Please leave. I just….I just need to be alone right now," Alyssa said through mournful tears. The officers offered their sincere apologies and then they let themselves out of Alyssa's apartment. Alyssa didn't know what to do. She had no idea how to process this. Her mother was the only family that she had and now she was gone. Alyssa needed someone to talk to. She picked up her cell phone and discovered that she have seventy-six unheard messages. About twenty of them were from the warden. She deleted them without listening. Her heart just couldn't take hearing the news again. The rest of the messages were from Jack, pleading with her to stay with him and to call him back. Alyssa tearfully dialed Jack's number even though she knew that he was at work. It immediately went to voice mail. Alyssa figured he must be in court because that was the only time that he shut his phone off. She left a hysterical message on his voice mail.
"Jack it's me. Oh my God, my mom is dead! They found her body yesterday. Oh please call me back when you can. I really need you. I'm sorry about everything else. I'm just sorry and I love you," Alyssa hung up the phone and then the reality of the situation really hit her. Perhaps it was saying the words out loud, but Alyssa finally realized that the awful news was true. She broke down and cried so hard that she felt like her head was going to explode. About twenty minutes later there was a knock on her door. It was the building manager yelling at Alyssa to open up. She made her way to the door and she opened it up. Her face was red with tears streaming down her face and snot dripping from her nose. The building manager didn't know what to say when he saw her.
"Miss Snyder we had a complaint of noise
coming from your apartment. Someone said it sounding like screaming. Are you okay?" he asked with a concerned tone.
"I just found out that my mom died. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb anyone," Alyssa said as she was trying to stifle her crying.
"Don't worry about it. I'm truly sorry for your loss," he said and then he walked away. Alyssa closed the door but she heard him yell at someone in the hall. It sounded like he said, "Her mother just died and she's upset. So have a little fucking compassion!"
Alyssa closed her eyes and pressed her lips together. She felt bad that her crying had been loud enough to bother her neighbor, but she was also pissed off that they had the audacity to complain about it. If she heard someone crying like that she wouldn't try to get them in trouble on top of whatever else was happening in their life. She knew who it was too. The old woman who lived next door was constantly complaining that her television was too loud or her music was too loud. Stupid bitch, Alyssa thought bitterly. Her angry thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone. Alyssa looked at the number and was so relieved to see that it was Jack's number.
"Jack?" she answered sorrowfully.
"Oh my God, Baby. What happened?"
"They said…they said that somehow she got heroin and that she overdosed. They found her dead in the bathroom!" Alyssa started to cry once more. She tried her best to control it so that she wasn't too loud on the phone or for her nosy ass neighbor.
"Oh God," Jack said in response. "Baby listen, I have to go back to court in an hour. I have to be there but as soon as it is done I will come over to your house. I'm sorry that I can't come right now, but I will be there just as soon as I can, okay?"
"Okay. Thank you. I really need you," Alyssa said sorrowfully.
Alyssa's Desire Page 15