I shed a tear as we said goodbye, although her eyes stayed dry. She was just like that - tough, unemotional. I knew she'd miss me, she just didn't show it on her face.
By early afternoon I was off on the road, my compact little car filled to the brim with boxes and bags. I could hardly see out of the back window it was stacked so high. It wasn't like I had loads of stuff, it was just that the car was so damn small.
My mind drifted from one place to the next as I cast myself off into the unknown world beyond. I was never one for change. I hated it, in fact. So this - a change that was forced upon me just when I was getting settled - was a real kick in the teeth.
But then, at the same time, I felt a huge surge of relief as I zipped down the highway, every mile taking me further and further from Brad. He'd become so creepy over the last few months that I genuinely felt afraid for my safety.
To be escaping him, getting away from his weird stare and mournful eyes, was liberating. I knew that having to find my place in a new college would be nothing compared to what I'd been dealing with over the last few months.
What had started as a normal reaction to a break up - you know, drunken texts and calls, pleading to get back together - had evolved into something so much weirder and more sinister. I could have handled that if, like a normal person, he'd have gradually moved on and got over it.
But no. Not Brad. He became more obsessed, more insular and isolated. I'd accounted for pretty much his entire social life, and his world had come crashing down when I left. A normal person might react by finding a new social group, getting involved in other things. But no, not Brad. I continued to be his everything, his entire life outside of his work. Only now, now he was on the outside, looking in.
It was so fucking creepy that I had no option but to move.
“Get a restraining order.” It wasn't only Sarah who said that. Frankly, I didn't think that would make a difference. I changed my phone number, I was changing college. I even thought about changing my name.
If I catch sight or sound of him again, though, I'm going straight to the police. That, or I'll be calling Sarah up to go through with her threats.
....
After a few hours of driving and singing to myself behind the wheel I stopped at a roadside cafe for a coffee. It was getting dark now, the world around me growing colder and more imposing, with rolling hills turning to mountains in the distance, capped with snow and shrouded in mist.
I pulled into a little off-road service station and into the warmth of the cafe. It was tacky, some 70's style diner with a colorful jukebox in the corner and large red booths giving temporary comfort to an eclectic group of truckers and travelers. It looked totally out of place in the shadow of the mountains.
I sat down and a waitress in a funky little outfit came bouncing over to me with a large pot of coffee.
“Coffee darlin?” she asked, her voice as bouncy as her movement.
“Thanks,” I said, my hands immediately clasping around the ceramic mug as it was filled with warm liquid.
“You moving somewhere?” she questioned with a smile on her face, nodding her head through the window at my car parked outside, full of luggage.
“Oh, yeah, time for a change.” I smiled politely, but wasn't in the mood for going into any detail with a stranger.
“You want anything else? We do great pancakes?” I think she could tell that I had no energy for small talk.
“No, that's OK, just the coffee thanks.”
“OK darlin, just gimme a shout if you need anything.”
I thanked her before gazing back out the window. I'd always been one for warmer climes, keener on sand than snow. I'd been skiing once or twice, but never took to it. Where I was going, up into the North West, had snow written all over it. Not like my comfortable West Coast home in California.
But hell, I didn't have time to be picky. I'd found a college in Montana that could accommodate me on my literature course so I wasn't going to turn that down. They even had a spare room going on the main campus that was ready for me to move straight into. OK, so it was a shared room, but hey, maybe that would be a good thing.
I didn't know much about who my room-mate would be. All I'd found out was that her name was Alice and she was on some sort of marketing course. I guess it would be a lottery as to whether we'd get along or not. I just hoped that my numbers came up.
The mug in my hands began to grow cold as the liquid was drained down my throat. The waitress came back over, offering a top up, but I kindly turned her down.
No, enough delay. I had a fair way to go yet.
Chapter 2
Elle
My pulse began to rise steadily as the road signs began to count down towards my destination.
100 miles.
50 miles.
25 miles.
10 miles.
Soon I found myself off the main highway and onto more lightly trafficked roads, the cars thinning as my nerves began to thicken. It was approaching 7 PM and I'd been on the road since late morning, my little car now well due a rest.
I continued to follow the signs through the city towards the campus. Dulwich Halls, that was where I'd now call home. I'd done some research into it online over the last couple of days. It looked nice, smaller than the campus and living quarters I was used to, but modern and cosy, tucked away on the outskirts of the city away from its major hustle and bustle.
I steeled my nerves as I rolled up outside Dulwich Halls and into a parking lot out front. I sat there for a moment, looking up at the building, trying to work out which room would be mine.
Most of the rooms had their lights on and I could see figures moving within them. Outside the building there were students coming in and out through the main doors, wrapped up warm in coats and gloves and hats. It wasn't a sight I was used to. Where I'd been everyone wore shorts and skirts and light tops.
I grabbed my handbag and reached inside, pulling out an envelope. I opened it up and turned it upside down, a set of two keys falling into my lap: one for the main front door, one for my dorm room.
I wondered if my new room-mate, Alice, would be in. She knew I was coming today, or so I'd been told, so I guess it wasn't going to be a surprise when I came barging in out of the blue.
I could feel my nerves building further as I sat there. In a way it was even harder than starting college as a freshman. At least then everyone was in the same boat. Now everyone in there, everyone in those dorms, had already established their lives. I was coming in as an outsider, and that made things even harder.
But then, I'd changed. I didn't feel like the shy little girl who'd tiptoed around college 18 months ago. No, my experiences with Brad had changed all that. This was nothing compared to the shit I'd been through with him.
With my resolve strengthening I stepped from the car and grabbed my handbag. The wind hit me immediately, biting at my nose and ears. I guess I'd need to go shopping for some more winter gear if I were to be living round here.
I aimed my gaze at the main doors and set my path towards it, leaving my luggage stacked in my car. I passed students as I went, hustling around with their books and backpacks. It was a Friday evening, and it looked like people were eager to get home and get ready for a night out of some kind.
I passed through the main door and got my first look at where I'd be living, all things going well, for the next few years. There was a wide hall straight ahead of me, with a staircase on the left leading up to the first floor. Down the right were a series of doors leading into what I assumed to be social areas and ground floor dorm rooms.
My room was on the first floor, so I started off up the staircase, getting a few looks as I went. It felt weird, like I was a total stranger invading someone else's home. I guess right now that was kinda the case.
I caught glimp
se of a few pictures and plaques on the left wall as I ascended towards the first floor, notable alumni given their place on the “staircase of success”, as it was known. At the top I rounded to the right, a corridor ahead of me with a series of doors on the left, the staircase dropping down to the right.
I walked down the corridor and spotted my new room, right at the end. The door was shut, but there seemed to be a slither of light creeping out from between the hinges. It looked like Alice would be in.
I took a breath as I stood outside, feeling kinda awkward as other students passed me by on their way to or from their rooms. As I was about to knock I felt a hand tap me on the shoulder. I turned to see a girl standing behind me. She was strikingly beautiful, her hair long and wavy, her eyes a deep brown, her complexion perfect.
“Hi,” she said lightly, “are you...Elle?”
“Um, yeah,” I said, nodding, still slightly struck by how good looking she was.
“They told me you'd be coming today. I thought you'd have more stuff.” She lifted her eyes to my handbag, a quizzical smile on her face.
“Oh, it's in the car,” I said, not quite sure if she was being welcoming or sarcastic.
She stepped past me and put her key to the lock. “Yeah, I thought as much,” she said, opening the door up to the room.
I walked in behind her and glanced around. It was a decent size, a single bed lined up against the far wall on each side of the room, a bedside table next to each. Both sides had their own desk and wardrobe, plenty of storage for my things.
Yet one side was bristling with color and life and the other was bare, a skeleton without any meat. I guess I knew which side was mine.
“So,” she said as she sat down on her own heavily cushioned bed, “what's your story?”
She didn't seem overly pleased to see me. I guess she wouldn't be now that she'd have to share her room with someone else.
“Well, I've just moved from California, needed a change of scenery...”
“Change of scenery? So that's why you moved?” She interrupted, her voice littered with scepticism.
“Well, there's a bit more to it than that.” Christ she was right down to it. Not the sort of welcome party I'd hoped for.
“Yeah...”
“Well, there was this guy. This really weird guy. It got bad so I had to move.” This wasn't really something I wanted to discuss right now after nearly 8 hours of driving.
“Ah, I see,” she said nodding. She didn't seem overly interested really. “So, do you need some help with your stuff? I've got a 45 minute window.”
Was she offering to help? Well, at least that was something.
“I don't have too much stuff, just a few bags and boxes. Don't worry about it, I can manage on my own.”
She stepped to the window and peered out, straining her eyes. “Is that yours down there? The little green one?”
“Yeah, the Mazda.”
“Sorry, I don't really know cars. It's fine, I'll help. Come on, the quicker you get your stuff in the quicker you can relax.”
She seemed to be softening slightly. Perhaps she wasn't as harsh as she appeared. As I thought, maybe just bitter to get a new room-mate.
She walked out and down the stairs to the car as I followed in her wake. “Nice car,” she said as she got closer, the cold air seemingly having no effect on her despite the fact that she was garbed in only a pair of sweatpants and light sweater. She was probably used to it.
“Thanks,” I said, “I haven't had it long.”
“So how long was your drive?” she asked, grabbing a box and passing it to me.
“About 8 hours, with a couple of short stops.”
“Fuck girl, you must be exhausted!”
“Yeah, I kinda am to be fair.”
She took her own box and shut the trunk before walking back towards the dorm. I looked back at my car, unlocked, slightly worried that someone would pounce on my stuff.
“Hey, don't worry, this place is pretty safe,” she said, noticing my expression.
We carried on up the stairs and dumped my stuff before turning around for a second go.
“Well,” she said, her tone growing ever lighter, “if you have any energy at all, you should come out for a drink later on. A few of us are having drinks in town, so you're welcome to join. If you're not too tired, that is.”
She carried on unpacking my car for me as we went in and out a couple more times. That was a turn up. Only been here 10 minutes and already have an invite out for drinks with a group of people.
It took me about a month before I managed that the first time around.
“Sure, that sounds nice. Thanks Alice.”
She smiled, more genuinely than before, as we parked the final load of my stuff on the floor of the dorm. “No probs. Why don't you leave this stuff for now, sort it tomorrow.”
I nodded and lay down on the bed. It was comfy enough, better for my bedding once I got it on there. “Although,” she continued, “you might wanna make the bed up before we go. That's not something you wanna be doing after a few drinks!”
“Good point,” I said, lifting myself, with some difficulty, from the mattress. I was truly exhausted but didn't want to let this opportunity to make friends pass me by.
“OK,” said Alice, checking her watch, “it's 7.30 now and we're heading out just before 8. I'll go grab my friend Tess and bring her over here. She lives just up on the next floor. Get ready and I'll see you in 5.”
....
Just over 5 minutes later Alice came back into the room, her friend, Tess, right behind her. She was pretty as well, a bit taller and slimmer than Alice. She looked supermodel-esque to Alice's swimwear model, with blonde hair and blue eyes, a playful look on her face.
“Elle, this is my best friend Tess,” said Alice as she came in, a bottle of champagne and three glasses in hand.
Tess stepped forward and kissed me on the cheek. She had this glint in her eye as she looked at me, the sort of look a guy might give me when he was checking me out.
“Lovely to meet you Elle, Alice has been waiting for a new room-mate for a while.”
I could see Alice roll her eyes at Tess' comment. Clearly an in-joke that I wasn't privy to. I sensed it was heavily weighted with sarcasm.
There was a loud POP as I saw the cork from the bottle hit the ceiling and crash back down to the floor. I looked over to see froth shooting out of the top of the bottle, Alice wrapping her plump lips around the top of the bottle to stop it from hitting the floor.
“She's not used to champagne,” Tess said with a whisper and a smile, turning back towards me.
I saw Alice's eyes zip up and stare at Tess, who pouted and ran in to give her a hug. “Awww, it's not your fault for being born on the wrong side of the tracks,” she said, laughing.
Alice shook her off in feigned anger and filled three glasses, handing one to me.
“Thanks so much,” I said, kinda coyly. I couldn't believe that I was already drinking champagne and going out with these girls after being here for less than an hour. I didn't know whether this was just a standard Friday night for them or not, but it was really sweet of them to involve me.
“All right girls, here's to a big night!” shouted Tess as she put some dance music on and started bouncing around like a leaping gazelle.
Alice crept in towards me, her face more restrained.. “You'll get used to Tess. She's got a real excess of personality sometimes, it gets her in trouble from time to time!”
She smiled and clinked her glass to mine before taking a long sip. “You seem nice Elle,” she said, “I've gotta be honest with you, I was kinda hoping I didn't get a new room-mate, but if I've gotta have one you seem like a good bet.”
“Thanks,” I said, “same to you. I have to admit I was pretty nervous coming here today. I've nev
er lived with anyone before, so it's all new to me!”
We sipped on our drinks together as we watched on at Tess, jumping and spilling champagne around the room. She stopped suddenly, sank what was left of her glass, looked at her watch, and then spoke, a wide smile cracking across her face.
“OK, time to go!”
....
My nerves were beginning to rise once more as we sat in the cab, Alice and Tess chatting together next to me as I stared out the window. It always took me a little while to warm up to people, and in group situations I often retreated into my shell. Alice had told me that her boyfriend would be there along with a few other people, the sort of scenario that I generally shied away from until I was really comfortable with each individual.
The cab journey seemed to be taking us a good way from the dorm, and I couldn't help but feel out of place after the initial rush when I'd arrived. I sat, looking out of the window, listening in as Alice and Tess gossiped about mutual friends and talked about their course. It sounded like they'd been friends for years, way before coming to college, and that they were doing the same subject as well.
All in all, I felt left out, although I didn't think they were doing it on purpose.
After about 20 minutes in the cab we pulled up along a fairly bustling street in the city. Along both sides were bars and restaurants, cars and people rushing up and down the road and sidewalk. Alice pulled out her purse and paid the driver, refusing to take any money from me for the ride, despite my protests. It didn't look like money was much of an issue for her.
It wasn't for me really either. My parents were paying for college, and I had my own savings to use for personal luxuries like nights out. OK, so things like champagne perhaps weren't on the cards, but a normal college existence wasn't outside of my financial means.
We stepped out of the cab and headed towards a bar - or nightclub, I couldn't tell - called Sparks. It was heavily illuminated with lights on the outside, with two heavyset bouncers standing either side of the front entrance.
The Logan Brothers - Books 1-4: (EXPOSURE, CRASH, TWIN PASSIONS, and ADDICTED TO YOU) Page 19