I turned back to the door and steadied my hand over the handle, twisting carefully before pushing it open. His eyes slowly fell on me as I entered and a smile grew quickly on his face. He looked completely worn and battered, his face badly bruised and this large white bandage wrapped around his head.
I rushed forward when I saw him turn to me, his eyes twinkling through their veil of sorrow when he saw me appear round the door. I hugged him, bending down onto the bed and wrapping my arms over him. I felt a huge surge of relief rush out of me at seeing him there, safe, in the hospital bed. I'd been so worried that something worse had happened, that he'd been seriously hurt, or worse.
I heard him groan beneath my grip as I hugged him tight, and quickly loosened up my arms, leaning back up. He smiled up at me and lifted his hand to wipe the tear that was now building in the corner of me eye.
“I had no idea you were here Zack,” I said, sniffing. “I've only just heard...I'm so glad you're OK.”
He smiled brightly, his sullen and weary eyes sparking into life. “It's good to see you Gem,” he said, rubbing his fingers gently over my cheek.
I looked at his head, wrapped tight in bandages. “Is your head OK?” I asked tentatively, still fearing the worst.
“It's fine, just a bad cut, nothing more.”
I let out a deep sigh. “Thank God. When are you getting out?”
“They said I can leave today if I want. The sooner the better as far as I'm concerned.”
“Well, are you ready to leave now? I could take you home? I've got my car outside...it's no problem.”
He shook his head. “That's sweet Gem, but that might not be the best idea...you know, with everything that's gone on.”
“Oh...yeah...maybe you're right.”
A short silence filled the air, the weight of the lies that were blighting our lives like a heavy storm cloud hanging over us.
Zack's eyes once again grew with worry, this empty look appearing on his face. It was killing me to see him like this, to see his life collapsing around him with nothing he could do to stop it.
He lay for a while, staring up at the ceiling again, before slowly bringing his eyes back to me. His voice was grave when he spoke next, buried under the heavy rubble of his crumbling life.
“I'm leaving Gem.”
The words struck at me like a knife through the chest.
“I'm leaving Branton for a while, until everything dies down.”
I lost my breath for a second and spontaneously began shaking my head. “Why...you've done nothing wrong... you can't leave Zack.”
He lay there, his green eyes still fixed on mine. “Why not? There's nothing for me here now...”
I was still shaking my head, finding it hard to stop. “What about your job...the club. What about your family and friends?”
He huffed lightly. “No one will care if I'm gone...not when all of this gets out. That paparazzo will take those pictures to print Gem, and when they do, people will hate me. Cade's their local hero now...and I'm nothing, just the jealous twin brother who tried to steal his girlfriend.”
“Well I'll care Zack...you can't go, not now. You've done nothing wrong!”
He looked on at me, his eyes deep wells of feeling. “I...I have Gemma, I can't be here anymore, it's too difficult.”
“But this is your home. I know who took those pictures Zack, it was a girl in my office...we can get her to admit the truth, clear our names....”
His voice cut me off. “No, I deserve all of this.”
My eyebrows shot down in a frown. “What do you mean? How could you possibly deserve all of this.” I said, gesturing with my head around the room.
He looked away from me, his eyes falling down. “Nothing has happened between us Gem, but....” his voice grew even quieter, cracking slightly under the weight of his words, “but that doesn't change how I feel.”
I reached in and touched his shoulder, bringing his eyes back to mine. “What do you mean?” I whispered, leaning in closer.
His eyes were set straight on me, unblinking. “I love you Gemma....I always have.”
I felt my heart drop several inches in my chest, my breathing caught short.
“We may not have done anything...but I've always wanted to. Ever since you came back into my life, I've wanted you to be my girlfriend, Gem, not Cade's. If the clock hadn't struck the other night I'd have kissed you, and then all of this would have been real. So I do deserve it. I deserve everything I get.”
I could feel tears welling in my eyes, three words still striking at my heart. I whispered quietly, my words low and disbelieving: “you love me?”
He turned his eyes away from me, looking out of the window against the opposite wall. “I'm sorry Gemma, I've tried to fight it. I've loved you since high school, that's never changed.”
I reached forward and gently pulled his head back towards me with my hand. His eyes stayed low now, refusing to meet mine. I leaned in, his words now fusing through me. He loves me.
I saw his eyes rise gradually to mine as my lips approached his. I felt my heart race as our lips slowly came together, memories of our first kiss, my first kiss, flooding through my mind. His lips were gentle against mine, soft and warm. I closed my eyes as I felt his hand rise to my neck, his fingers sliding over my skin. I felt tingles rush through me at his touch, delicate yet sensual as his hand slid up and through my hair.
The kiss lasted only a few moments, but there was more meaning in it than all the kisses I'd shared with Cade. His touch felt right to my skin, his lips causing a stir inside me that I hadn't felt for years.
I leaned back, the irony of it all bringing a smirk to my face. The lies that were destroying us had begun to morph into reality, like some sort of warped self-fulfilling prophesy. The look on Zack's face showed that he was thinking the same.
But no, it wasn't like that at all. The lies, the slander that was about to be printed and shown to the masses wasn't the truth. They'd paint a picture of the two of us cheating on Cade, of breaking the heart of the local hero. No, Cade and I were doomed from the start, and it was never going to work.
The truth was that every time I spent any time with Zack, I felt warm and safe and happier than I ever did with Cade. There was something more there, something that Cade could never have given me. His life was the ring, and I was simply becoming a facilitator for his success. There was no such motive with Zack, no alternate desire. We had history and memories. We could laugh over anything and tease each other without ever getting mad. We could sit in silence or talk for hours, and neither ever made us feel uncomfortable. I could tell him anything, reveal my deepest desires and greatest fears and he's listen to every word.
It all made sense with Zack....it always did. And now he was lying there, telling me he loved me, and that made sense as well.
It made sense because I loved him too.
Chapter 25
Present Day
Gemma
I sat in my car, my mind now set on the task ahead of me. I'd spoken for a little longer with Zack after we'd kissed, trying to convince him not to leave, to ride out the storm and clear our names, but he was having none of it.
He'd told me he loved me and was now going to leave me. It was like being back in high school all over again, having him ripped away from my grasp when I needed him the most.
I opened the door of the car and stepped out, walking purposefully through the doors and back into my office. I had one thing on my mind now, something I needed to do.
I felt more eyes on me as I walked through the building and into the lift. I knew rumors must have been going around about why Cade and Zack had been fighting that night and, whether people thought I was involved or not, they still stared at me as if they'd get an answer.
If Mrs Banks gets her way they'll all get their answers soon, and it'll be just the sort of scandal they'll all lap up. But not if I have anything to do with it.
I stepped out of the lift and didn't even bother going
towards my desk. I could see Annie out of the corner of my eye, standing up and watching on as I stormed through the office. She might have seen me rush off only a couple of hours before, but I hadn't noticed her then. No, then I only had thoughts of Zack's safety on my mind – now something else was dominating it.
I paced straight along the wall and down the corridor, keeping my eyes firmly on my target ahead of me. I felt like how Cade must feel when entering the ring – staring at his opponent and not looking anywhere else. I had the same tunnel vision now, my eyes set on Banks' office.
I heard Brenda once again protest as I stormed forward, but her words meant nothing to me. No, I carried on straight through the door and into the office, not caring if anyone else was in there or whether she was busy in a meeting.
As I entered I saw that she was alone, sitting behind her desk. I half expected to see Tara behind her, creeping over her shoulder like a good little minion. Thank God I'd not descended so low. Thank God I'd be able to escape this fucking place with my integrity still intact.
Mrs Banks' head slowly arched up from the files on her desk, every movement so purposeful, so arrogant. She had such an air of superiority about her, as if no one else meant anything, as if the fucking ground she walked on was sacred. Well that ground would soon start crumbling beneath her feet if she didn't do what I wanted.
“What is it now Gemma?” she asked, her voice taut. “Did we not cover everything earlier?”
I looked her dead in the eye. “I want you to drop the story.”
She looked at me for a moment, her expression hard, before her facade broke down and she cackled like a witch. It was such a fake and cracked laugh, rusty and put on. It sounded like she hadn't laughed for real in years.
“I'm afraid not Gemma. I've already told you how important this story is to me,” she said dismissively, turning her eyes back down to her work.
I began nodding, accepting her answer. “I did think you'd say that, Martha,” I said casually. “I know why you want to cause such a stir in the Logan family.”
Her eyes narrowed and turned back on me, sizing me up. “And what do you mean by that?” Her voice carried a more sinister edge now.
“Well, it's common to want to get revenge on those who wrong you, isn't it? God knows that's why I'm here.”
“Wronged me?” she hissed. “No one has wronged me Gemma, I think you're mistaken.”
I smiled and reached into my bag as I slowly walked forward towards her desk. “Really? I guess I must have got things wrong then?” I said, with a hint of sarcasm. “I mean, I'm no Sherlock Holmes, but I really thought I'd cracked this case.”
I pulled an image out of my bag and slowly placed it onto her desk. I could see her eyes light up at the sight of it as I pushed it towards her.
“Where...did you get this?” she growled, her voice shaking slightly.
“Well I suppose I can thank you for that Martha. It was you who always urged me to be more ruthless, go to places other's weren't willing to go. You know, that's just what I did, and it paid off handsomely.”
Her eyes were looking intensely at the image as I spoke, deep memories inside them. I could almost feel the hatred boiling inside her at the sight of her and Charles Logan, hugging and smiling happily on the beach.
“You know,” I continued, “I just might have found the sort of scandal you wanted from me Martha. Is this good enough? Will I get that promotion now? Martha Banks, happily married and trusted editor, shared a secret relationship for years with Charles Logan, himself married and with children. Correct me if I'm wrong, but a story like this will damage your reputation severely, will it not? Surely it's something that you want to keep under wraps?” I was enjoying this now, toying with her as she'd toyed with me. The hag had had it coming for years.
She looked completely on edge now, her cool and calm exterior breaking down and showing her for what she really was: a lonely, broken-hearted old woman, still clinging to hatred over the man who chose his family ahead of her.
Her lips cracked open, her eyes still on the picture. “What is it that you want?” she asked, her voice almost a whisper.
“Don't play dumb Martha, it doesn't suit you.” I said. “I've already told you what I want.”
I watched as her mind ran through her options, looking for a way out. “How about I give you that promotion....it's what you've always wanted. All of this business with the Logan twins will blow over in no time. People are fickle – they go from one scandal to the next. But this promotion could mean big things for your career...”
She really was a scheming bitch, always looking for an angle. I stood for a moment, pretending to consider it, seeing her eyes grow in hope. It all told me one thing: how desperate she was to keep the truth about her and Charles Logan from the public eye. I knew, now, that I had her at my feet.
“I'm sorry Martha, but as tempting as that offer is, I'm going to have to decline. There's one thing I want, and one thing only.”
My expression made it clear that I couldn't be bought, that I wasn't willing to relent. We stood there for a few seconds, staring at each other. I had the bitch by the fucking balls now, and I was squeezing, hard.
“Tell Tara to drop the story,” I said. “Tell her to delete those photographs she took. Tell her that if she doesn't, she'll not only lose out on the promotion, but she'll lose her job as well. You know, just like you did with me.”
Her eyes were growing smaller and smaller by the second now.
“Do all of that, and make sure that this story doesn't come out, and I'll promise to keep your secret. If, however, anything get's out, I'll take my entire story straight to the press. I've got a whole write up just waiting to go, complete with pictures and love letters and everything else in between. I'm sure they'll be a lot of editors who'd love to get their hands on a scandal like that.”
I kept my gaze on her, my voice growing ever more triumphant. “Does that all sound fair to you Mrs Banks?”
Her thin lips remained tightly pursed, her eyes burning, as she nodded slowly, reluctantly.
I smiled and walked casually over towards the door, turning back just as I put my fingers to the handle.
“Oh, and one more thing....I quit.”
Chapter 27
Present Day
Zack
It was Tuesday morning when I stood outside my apartment, packing my car. I wasn't taking much stuff, only clothes really. I didn't need anything else, this wasn't a permanent move. No, it would be temporary, although how temporary it would be I didn't yet know.
I'd spoken to Crash on the phone later on Monday after I'd got back home from hospital. There was a sympathetic edge to his voice, as though he felt guilty for telling me to leave. But I didn't care. After what had happened, I wanted to go, I wanted to get away.
He said he hadn't told anyone else I was leaving, and that was fine by me. I didn't want to say goodbye, I didn't want to look upon any more judging eyes. I just wanted to turn my back and leave. I didn't know if I'd ever want to come back.
I hadn't even told Gemma. I told her that I'd only be gone for a while, but I knew that might not be the case. She'd begged me to stay, but her words fell on deaf ears. I loved her, but I couldn't be with her. Not here, not now.
I heaved another bag into my car and slammed the boot shut. I felt strangely empty, like all of the strings of my life were being detached, leaving me with no direction, no plan. I'd always lived my life under orders: at my prison-like high school, under dad, and now under Crash. Everything I did was within a structure, part of a plan laid out by someone else. But now... now I was looking down the open road, no plan in place, no one directing me.
It felt scary, and yet liberating. I'd never gone out on my own before, never traveled, never seen the world. I'd lived my entire life in Branton, growing up as part of dad's master plan to stretch his influence further and further. Now I was free - if only for a fleeting time – to be my own master.
A smile crept up my f
ace at the thought. Maybe now my life was only just beginning?
I took a deep breath and opened the door to the car. This was it, time to leave everything behind. I didn't know when I'd be coming back, I didn't know what I'd do, I didn't even know in which direction I'd drive. All of that, all of that freedom, that uncertainly, made my heart beat harder and stronger than it ever had.
With one foot through the door I heard the sound of a car rush up behind me, smashing through the silence of the street. I turned, more through curiosity than anything else, to see a cab pull up. When the door opened I felt an immediate surge in my chest. It was Gemma.
She jumped from the cab and rushed straight towards me. Her arms wrapped over me tightly, her breathing heavy and fast. She looked up and spoke hurriedly, her voice hurt.
“You'd leave without saying goodbye? Why didn't you tell me you were leaving so soon?”
I looked down at her wide eyes and spoke calmly. “How did you know?”
“Crash told me. I tried calling you yesterday but you didn't pick up. I called him and he finally admitted that you were leaving this morning. Why wouldn't you say something Zack?”
“Because it's hard Gem. I had to say goodbye to you once before, remember, and I hated it. I...I didn't want to go through that again. I thought it would be easier like this.”
There were tears building in her eyes now. “But it's OK Zack, you don't have to go. The story....it's not going to go to print...no one's going to know about it all. You don't have to worry about that. I tried to tell you yesterday but you didn't pick up. I even came to your apartment, Zack. You don't have to leave.”
I shook my head and put my hands onto her shoulders to calm her. It didn't matter that the story wouldn't get out. That wasn't what I really cared about. Nothing would convince Cade now...that's what really mattered. No, I wanted to leave, I wanted my life to change.
“It's not enough Gemma. I have to leave....I want to leave.”
A tear began sliding down her cheek now, her brown eyes shining brightly under the morning sun. “But what about me,” she said, her voice hurt. “Did you mean what you said yesterday...when you told me you loved me?”
The Logan Brothers - Books 1-4: (EXPOSURE, CRASH, TWIN PASSIONS, and ADDICTED TO YOU) Page 52