So I sit. I stare at the white plate in front of me. I lie, a lot. My eyes are puffy because I worked late and was up finishing a paper. Pale because I’ve been indoors a lot. Not eating because I’m not hungry. Okay, that one’s not a lie. But I wanted her to quit worrying about me. Eventually I’ll be fine. Until then, I can fake it, fake being happy. Can’t I?
I don’t show up for lunch. Work is my excuse. It’s a small lie; I’m not on the schedule, but I go in as soon as someone calls off. This is my release to avoid the twisted knot in my stomach and the vise-like grip on my heart.
Stacking books, I immerse myself in the task at hand. The door constantly chimes. Customers are flooding this place, in and out. It’s really busy, but I don’t care. Dealing with customers would be a bad idea. Dealing with books, not so much. Books can’t sense when there is something wrong. They can’t tell when there is a sob in your throat ready to release. They don’t ask questions. They don’t care about your day. They’re exactly what I need right now.
My bubble of solitude bursts the moment a woman and a man kiss right in front of me. The sight of it makes my walls crumble and I hurry off into the nearest restroom. We have two, one for employees and the other for customers. I go to the public one. Probably not the best idea.
A teen is in here patting her nose while chatting with her friend in a stall. I grip the sink and stare at my reflection. Christ, I’m a disgusting mess. Puffy face, pale skin, and red eyeballs. And Caleb looked so unaffected. He did dump me, but still. We were together for two years. That should count for something, right? Some fucking emotion? My anger is back, and oh my God, it’s practically boiling over.
I notice the teen girl has stopped talking and is staring at me. Her friend pops the stall door open and stands beside her friend. “You didn’t answer my question about what I should do about Dillon.”
The one girl is still looking at me. Her friend doesn’t seem to notice I’m here. I turn toward the girls. “Guys are nothing but a bunch of assholes. It only gets worse as you get older, ladies. You’ll think you can change a player into giving a shit about you, but you’re wrong. They never change. You think you can get an asshole to become a loving person? Well, you can for about a few years and then the prick will go back to what he’s really good at—being a total fucking prick. While he’s at it, he will steal the very core of you. Don’t go after Dillon or any other boy who has a past filled with one-night stands. He’ll ruin you. He’ll even be such a dick … that … he’ll … break up with … you on … Valentine’s Day. Who the fuck does that?”
The girls’ eyes are wide. The brunette who was waiting for her friend elbows her blond bestie. Blondie looks at me for a second then digs through her purse. She pulls out some tissues and says, “Here.”
I mutter, “Thanks.” I’m so completely embarrassed, though. How could lash out at those poor girls like that? God, they’ll probably go home and tell their mothers about the psycho who had a mental breakdown in the bathroom at Hodges and Hutch Bookstore.
***
I run over to my dorm for a duffle bag of clothes and some essentials. Brie, thankfully, isn’t home. My room is like a shrine to him. Pictures of Caleb are all over this place. His stupid scent is embedded in my pillows. Okay, maybe it isn’t and it’s just my brain playing tricks on me. But I can’t stand it.
It’s too soon to start grabbing up all my pictures. It’s too soon to start burning my sheets and buying new ones. And it’s also too soon to … my phone buzzes.
Lidia, my sister from another mother, is calling. No, really, she’s my half-sister. I sigh deeply and answer it. “Hey.”
“Hi. So … I have a proposition for you.”
“Um … Liddy, do we have to do this now?”
She huffs. “Not technically but …” I hear her suck in a breath. “I’d like to. Please? Just hear me out. I promise it’s good.”
“What?” I toss some clothes into the small suitcase I use when traveling to New York to visit my dad, stepmom, and half-sister.
“Tris and I are heading to the Bahamas for spring break. Anyway, since your break and mine are the same time, I was thinking that maybe … you’d like to come with?”
“I promised Sam and Mikia I’d come visit them in New York, and visit with Dad, too while I was there.” Although a beach and ocean with no Caleb sounds so much better. But I do miss Sam and Mikia. They’re my two BFF’s from my old high school.
Something pops, followed by, “Son of a monkeyfuck.”
“Are you okay?” I ask.
I shove some more things into my suitcase. “Yeah. I broke a nail opening up this jar of hair wax. By the way, I got my hair cut today. Super cute. Celebrating a whole new me. How’s your life going?”
“It’s, um … whatever.”
“What happened? And don’t tell me nothing. I can totally tell something is wrong. Your voice is all choky. Oh my God … did Caleb propose?”
“No!” I break down crying, not able to contain it anymore. I’m a stupid, weepy mess. “He broke up with me.”
Something drops. Possibly the phone. There is some static and then, “I’m coming down there.”
“What? No. Liddy, don’t come down here. Dad will murder me and then you. Just … I’ll be fine. It just … it hurts. A lot.”
“No, screw that. I’m coming.” There is a moment or two of silence and then, “I booked a flight. I’ll handle Dad. You just come pick me up at the airport. I’ll call you.”
“Liddy …”
She hangs up.
***
Kayla studies me over the brim of her book. “Sky, I know it hurts, honey. But you’ve gotta eat.”
I’m trying, for Kayla’s sake. She waits patiently for me to take a bite of toast. It’s simple enough, but whenever I lift the bread to my mouth, the tears come, and the shakes that won’t stop, and then the mother of all headaches. It’s like having a hangover for days.
To top it all off, Liddy’s plane going to touch down in forty-five minutes. And it seems like that’s how this whole mess started to begin with. I was thoroughly convinced and okay with letting Caleb go back when I was a senior in high school. But then he just waltzed in with romantic words and rose petals and changed my world.
“Stupid asshole,” I mutter to myself.
Kayla sighs. “I wanted to wait to say something, but I talked to Lance.”
I throw my hands up. “Kayla, not now. Please. I just … I can’t.”
She nods. “Well, whenever you’re ready. You really need to hear it.”
I check the clock again. “I should have never let him in. God, Kayla, it was like he didn’t have a care in the whole world at breakfast. It sucked so bad sitting across from him. I thought I was going to vomit. He actually ordered food. How can he eat? How can he do anything? Doesn’t he have a fucking clue how much he destroyed me? That insensitive bastard.” I pace the small kitchen and scream, “He probably screwed a whole bunch of chicks last night. Because he could. He finally got rid of the damn ball and chain slowing him down.”
Kayla shakes her head. “Skylar, stop it. Stop letting your mind go there.”
“Go where exactly? Right where he made it go? He told me he felt our relationship was like a marriage. That a person like him didn’t need to be tied down. He basically said he missed being a stupid player and he wanted other people.” I slump into a chair and let the tears fall. The sad part is, I still love him. He hurt me so bad and I still love him. What the hell is wrong with me?
I take deep and staggered breaths and glance up at the clock. “I’ve gotta go get Lidia.”
“You’re not driving. Come on.”
“I can get my sister.”
“Yeah, you can, but … not like this. Sky, you’re a train wreck of a mess. I’d be a terrible best friend if I let you drive like this.”
She’s right.
Chapter 14
Caleb
Vince shouts at me as I exit the Allen building. He runs over
and bumps his shoulder into mine and says, “Dude, I can’t believe you broke up with your girl.”
“Yeah. Well.” I don’t want to talk about it, but it seems like it’s the topic of the century around here. I continue walking to the mess hall.
“So it is true. Man.” He puts a hand over his mouth and shakes his head. “Daaaamn.” He lowers his hand. “That’s cold, man. But I respect it.”
I stop and glare at him. He’s about two seconds away from getting punched in the mouth if he doesn’t shut the fuck up. He nods. “Look, I just wanted you to know that there is a party going on in your honor this weekend.”
“I don’t want a party.” I really don’t. What I want is Skylar, but that’s not going to happen.
Vince looks confused. “Dude, don’t take this the wrong way, but for someone who did the dumping you look depressed.”
“That’s because I am.” I shake my head. “I didn’t want to lose Skylar. Yeah, I dumped her, but I didn’t want to. I’d do anything for that girl. Even if it means leaving her because she’s better off without the stress and worry of a long-distance relationship. And all the fucking what-if scenarios? I can’t do that to her.” I start to walk off when a hand comes down on my shoulder.
“Hey man, I’m sorry. Look, the party is still happening. Come by. It might help cheer you up a bit.”
I sigh. “Fine. I’ll try to stop by.” The last thing I want is a party. It’s only a reminder of what I’m giving up in the end. I swear it better have been damn worth it, too.
***
Between studying, my phone blowing up with messages and calls, and my roommate Kyle finally getting laid, I’m exhausted. So exhausted I swear I’m seeing shit in the library.
I spot Lidia and Skylar taking a seat at a table not far from mine. I can hear their conversation perfectly.
“Liddy, stop. I need to study for this test. You said you wanted to help. This is you helping. Please.”
“Fine! But seriously, Sky, when we get back I’m doing your hair and nails, and we’re going to go do something fun.”
I can see Skylar’s eyes roll. “I’m not in the mood for fun. Drinks, sure. Dance clubs and orgy fests? No. Sorry.”
“Fuuuuunnnn! Say it with me. I, Skylar Olivia Fletcher, will have fun tonight with my awesome sister Lidia, and maybe we can drag Kayla along.”
Skylar shoots her a glare and hands her a notebook. “No. I seriously need to ace this test, so can we please get to this. And afterwards I’ll do and say whatever you want.”
Lidia smiles and slaps her sister’s arm. “That the spirit.”
My insides quake. The thought of another man running his hands down Skylar’s perfect hips and thighs, across her stomach, has me seeing red. She’s mine. All fucking mine. Derrick is right—I won’t be able to do this. If anyone tries to date her they’ll be sorry.
As soon as I stand, either to leave or make a fucking ass out of myself by begging Skylar’s forgiveness, Matt steps in front of me. His body blocks my view of Sky and her sister, which instantly helps clear my head. “Hey, man, what are you doing here?”
“Hey, Matt, uh … you know, catching up on some shit.”
He looks over his shoulder and spots exactly what I was looking at just a moment ago. He turns back with an arched brow. “Who’s the hottie with your ex?”
“Her sister.” I grab my books and start to leave. I need to get the hell out of this library.
“Does she go here?”
I shake my head. “Columbia. Don’t even think about it.”
He shrugs his big shoulders. “What? Did you mark a claim on her?”
“Hell, no. Just don’t, man. She’s probably here visiting, and honestly, that girl doesn’t need you trying to get into her pants.”
He bumps my arm. “Dude, you sound like a vagina. Fuck. Just go over there and ask her if you can be friends with benefits on the side if you’re that pent up about it.”
At first I think he is talking about Lidia, but then I shake my head. He means Skylar. I can’t ask her something like that. She’d deck me. And I’d want her to. At that moment Skylar looks up and her eyes lock with mine. She looks away and mumbles something to Lidia with a shake of her head. Lidia touches Sky’s shoulder and whispers something back.
It’s my cue and I take it, exiting the library in a rush. I head back to my dorm. I don’t give a damn if there is sock on the doorknob or not—I’m going to sleep in my room.
***
Sleep doesn’t come. Besides the fit of giggles coming from above the bed, images of Skylar keep me from dozing off.
I disable my alarm an hour before it’s supposed to go off. Although who needs an alarm when the sounds of wet sloppy kisses and moans fill the room at five in the morning? Disgusting. Wonder if Skylar and I sound like that when we kiss? No. We don’t slobber all over ourselves. Pretty sure there is a puddle of drool and spit on Kyle’s pillows and sheets.
Grabbing fresh clothes and my shower caddy with towel, I make for the bathroom. Once I’m finished in there, I snag my bags and a couple of Pop Tarts from the snack bowl, and head off to the weight room.
Even this early the place usually has a few stragglers—some staff, or ambitious players—but there is just one other person in here. I give the skinny kid I’ve never seen before a nod and walk off to the locker room. I stuff my bags into a locker and put my Pop Tarts on the top shelf.
Back in the weight room, I head over to the chest press machine since there is no one to spot me. No offense to the skinny kid, but I’m not trusting his noodle arms to lift 290 pounds off me if I’m in trouble. While I’m counting out reps, a girl wearing ear buds walks in. She does a couple of stretches in front of me and I swear her ass looks exactly like Sky’s. I know, I know. How in the hell can you tell a person from their backside, but trust me, that’s her ass. She turns and grips a wall then pulls against it. I see the trace of her jaw. That perfect jaw that I love licking. Damn her. And damn my body for that matter. It’s instantly yearning to touch every inch of her.
I adjust the weight and begin pushing myself, punishing myself. Her eyes dart up when I grunt. She takes a deep breath and thumbs her iPod. She doesn’t talk to me. She doesn’t come near me. Nope, she goes to the indoor track. Her eyes tell me, “Don’t you dare follow or I’ll murder you,” and I respect it.
An hour and a half later, pouring with sweat, I make my way to the locker room and shower again. I change into my clothes and shove a Pop Tart in my mouth. As I leave the gym with the Pop Tart hanging out, it falls from my mouth as soon as I see Skylar. She’s not alone. A tall dude is hugging her. She’s laughing but it’s fake. I can tell. They both look at me and I just pick up my Pop Tart and throw it away. What a waste.
I exit the building, clenching and unclenching my fist around the strap of my workout bag. A few more days. I can get through this.
Chapter 15
Skylar
His presence is everywhere. It makes it hard to breathe, to think, to just … be without Caleb. This is a large campus; changing my routine in order to avoid him should keep me from having to see him, but that doesn’t seem to be the case.
Caleb has never studied at the library. Never. And yet he was there. I never go to the gym in the mornings, but I couldn’t sleep. Not when sleep only replays visions of that stupid, horrible night when he … crap, I’m crying again. I swear, I could produce enough tears to cure a drought. This is ridiculous. He doesn’t deserve my tears.
He doesn’t.
So why can’t I stop crying? Why does my entire body feel like someone stabbed me a million times? Everything hurts. So I tried to create more pain by running so hard and for so many miles my legs felt like Jell-O when I was finished.
As I was leaving, I bumped into Gary. He’s on the swim team with me, a soon-to-be senior. His green eyes bored into me for a second, his blond hair falling into his eyes. “Hey, Sky. Getting a workout in?”
“Just finished up,” I said.
&nbs
p; “Cool. Wanna spot me a couple rounds.”
“Hahahaha.” I let my head tip back and I said, “Yeah, right after I grow a pair.”
He smirked. “That would be unappealing then. Did you go over all those … Sky, you alright?”
He followed my gaze to see what I was looking at. Caleb was there with a Pop Tart falling from his mouth. My stomach tightened, my heart squeezing with each beat. My lungs burned as if I were sprinting a two-hundred-yard freestyle and had decided not to breathe.
“Isn’t that your man?”
I cracked up as if it were the funniest damn thing I’d ever heard. As soon as he left, I rushed off to the locker rooms and quickly changed, then hurried again out of the gym and to my dorm, my legs protesting each step. But like I said, I’m pushing more pain on myself.
***
Brie and Lidia are waiting for me when I enter. Lidia is sitting on my bed, and glances from me to Brie, who’s jabbering on her cell but waving me over to her desk. “Shut up! Eeeek! Okay. Okay. Bye!”
Lidia rolls her eyes and shakes her head. I almost laugh, but Brie wraps me in a hug and squeals in my ear so loud, I become hostile. I shove Brie away. “Brie, I enjoy hearing. Don’t squeal that close to my ears.”
She smiles and I make my way to Lidia. Once I take a seat and relax my eardrum from the assault it encountered, I ask Brie, “What’s going on?”
Brie has her thousand-watt smile pasted on and says, “So, Vince, you know him right? The hottie receiver on the football team? Tall, brooding, sexy smile that makes you wet your panties? He invited us to a party this weekend.”
Lidia snorts, “She left off the part that it’s for Caleb. He’s leaving the campus.”
Brie glares at my sister, but quickly smiles at me. “Yes, well. That’s just a minor detail.”
Rival Dreams (Rival Love #3) Page 7