by Ruiz, Rebeca
“Then you will understand where I am coming from. Wait. A year or two. Until she’s stable enough to provide for herself, and doesn’t have to rely on anyone. I want her a stronger woman before she decides to date again.” A year?
“I like you, Matty. You’ve always been a great friend and person to my son. This has nothing to do with you personally, I hope you understand that.”
“There isn’t anything wrong with having to rely on people. I can be there for her.” She sighs.
“I know you can and I know you have been. But just think about the future, the one thing that is known about it is that it is uncertain. You can’t promise forever to her. You’re right, there is nothing wrong with relying on people, every once in a while. Presley just has to learn to stand on her own two feet, and I’m not saying you can’t be her friend.”
“You want us to be friends, only friends?”
“Yes.”
Mrs. Masters let me think about it. She wanted me to make the decision about what was best for Presley. I had to admit that she had a point.
Who is to say that two months from now, Presley won’t have an urge to cut herself all because of an argument? Or because the distance is too much. What if I’m not there to help her through a panic attack?
When I looked into Presley’s blue eyes. I knew she knew. She’s very good at reading people, too good at reading me.
I listened to her gasps for air as I sat in front of the door where she has barricaded herself. I can’t leave her like this.
I call the one person I know can help me at a time like this. Lucky for me, she’s currently in London.
Chapter Twenty Seven
Ashton Pennington
Braxton’s mother was basically shoving cookies down my throat, and I just couldn’t tell her no. Brax had to tell her for me, and she was just flushed with embarrassment.
“I’m sorry, lovely.” I grabbed her hand.
“No, don’t be. I know you want me to be healthy, and I know you’re very excited about the little baby inside me.” We told everyone on Christmas Day that I was expecting a baby. I’m a little over two months pregnant now, and I am less than a month away from my wedding here in London.
Braxton and I decided to stay in London for the month, we, and by we I mean me, still had lots of planning to do.
“You’re not even showing yet, you should be putting on a bit more weight, just to be safe.” I smiled.
“Doctor says I’m gaining weight just fine.” My dress for the wedding is not tight, it’s actually very loose against the waist.
“We actually came here to tell you a surprise, mom.” Braxton was beyond excited, and I was excited too, but more nervous.
“What is it? Come on, spill!”
“We’re having fraternal twins.” Imagine our surprise when the ultrasound technician spots two sacs with two little dots in my uterus. I nearly fainted when she pointed it out to us, I was in shock to say the least.
“Oh my god!” She jumps out of her seat and hugs me.
The sound of my phone ringing pulls us apart. Braxton hands me my phone, and I see Matty’s number. I knew he would be at Presley Masters apartment here in London, and his plane didn’t land too long ago.
“Excuse me, I have to take this.” I go into the bathroom and I answer.
“What is it, Matty?”
“I need your help. Can you please come to Presley’s flat?”
“What happened? Why do you need me there?” I was so confused as to what was going on over there. I could hear some cries.
“We broke up, and she won’t open up the door, and she’s having a panic attack. A really bad one.” I could sense the fear in his voice.
“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can.” I promise him.
I sent Mathew to the hotel room Braxton and I were staying in as soon as I got to Presley’s apartment. He broke up with Presley, and she was feeling a lot, and I knew that she didn’t want to see Matty because it would be painful, her wounds were quite fresh. I would talk to her.
Presley was laying in bed with a big golden retriever who barely reacted when I came into the room. Her eyes moved to me, and widened with surprise.
“How are you doing?” I ask her. “I know you must hate that question.” She shrugged.
“I’m okay.” I sit down at the end of the bed.
“I remember a few years ago when that was all I used to say.”
“I find that hard to believe.” I’m not shocked by her response, not really.
“It’s true. Three years ago, something tragic happened to me at a party. I got depressed, sent myself in a downward spiral.”
“How did you get out of it?” She asks softly.
“I believed in myself, believed that I was worth something. I let in Braxton, my fiancé, and I let him love me. I thought pieces of me were gone, but Braxton helped me fill those voids.” I could see the silent tears falling down her face.
“I let myself believe Matty could be that person, and I didn’t see how I was hurting him. Tell him I’m so sorry.” I shake my head.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetie. He loves you, and I think he’ll always love you, but maybe you two aren’t meant to be together, or if you are, maybe not right now.” She nodded.
“Thank you.”
I hesitated. “I am only asking because I promised Matty I would, I know this is your business.” She stops me.
“I’m not going to hurt myself. I haven’t hurt myself in months.” She shows me her scars, they were all healed.
I grabbed her hand and gave her a small smile.
Chapter Twenty Eight
Presley Masters
My heart was racing. It was Ashton Pennington’s wedding day. Matty went back to the States as soon as he broke up with me. That was over a month ago. I knew he’d be at her wedding, I knew that when I agreed to take the wedding photos for Ashton.
It was six in the evening and I had three cameras with me. I had an assistant, his name is Dexter. He’s an intern at the magazine I work for even though I am younger than him. I know he has a crush on me, but I can barely look at a guy since Mathew.
“You have a good eye, Dex. I’m going to let you roam while I take the portraits of the families, and the lovely couple.” He nods.
“Whatever you say, boss.” He takes his camera and I continue setting up in the garden. The church part of the wedding was over, I had rushed back to the venue soon after, I had every shot I needed, from the bride and groom getting ready, to the first kiss as a couple.
I didn’t see Mathew at the church, not that I was exactly looking for him. I was focused on Braxton and Ashton.
“You look beautiful.” I turn around and see Ashton talking to me. I smile.
“I feel like I should be saying that about you. You look absolutely stunning.” Her dress was beautiful, and you could see the outline of her bump.
“She’s right about that.” Braxton says, coming right behind her, hugging her and placing a kiss on her cheek.
“So photographer, what’s the plan here?” Ashton asks.
“The sun is setting, I think some sunset shots are in order. When does the rest of your family get here?” I ask.
“Reception is an hour, but close family will be here in twenty minutes.” Braxton says. His English accent doesn’t surprise me, all the accents had me overwhelmed me when I first got here, but I was now used to it. “Matty is here now.”
“Hello, Presley.” I turned and smiled at him. It hurt but I did it anyway. I knew we would never be together, but I had to act like it didn’t hurt.
“Hi, Matty.” I even kiss him on the cheek and he seems surprised.
I turn back to his sister. “Lets get started, the lighting is absolutely perfect right now, so we must take advantage of it.”
Dexter came up to me while I was taking a shot of Braxton and Ashton talking. I was trying to capture as many moments, captu
ring moments was my specialty.
“Here’s the second memory card.” The first memory card was almost full, and I didn’t like filling them up because there was always a risk that it would damage some of the pictures. I was always careful.
“I asked the bride and groom if they’d give you a ten minute break. They gave you a half hour, you can eat and stuff.” I smiled at Dexter.
“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” If anything, I felt sick. I hated the feeling in my stomach, and I knew it was there because of Mathew.
“How about a dance, then?”
“Okay.” I nod. He leads me out to the dance floor. It’s a slow dance, to Stay With Me by Sam Smith.
“Can I ask something quite personal?” Dexter asks.
“You can ask, doesn’t mean I’m going to answer.” He chuckles. The scars on my arms are just that, scars. No one here has actually asked me about them, people respect my privacy here, and I feel freer to wear stuff that reveals them.
“Who is the guy who has been staring at you all night? I spotted him at the church, and I know he’s a part of the bride’s family. Must be somebody important to you, he’s actually glaring at me right now.”
I turn my head slightly, and sure enough there is Mathew glaring at Dexter. He thinks we have something. He’s jealous.
“He’s a friend.” I lie.
“Ah, an ex.” He sees right through my lie. “Well, your friend is on his way over to you.” I hear him clear his throat behind me.
“Can I steal her away for a bit?” Mathew asks.
“Sure, mate. Only for a bit.” I’m sure Dexter just said it like that because he knew it would just to make Mathew more jealous. He steps away and Mathew places his hands on my waist.
“He was joking.” I say, trying to take away the harsh look he had.
“I know.”
“How is school?” I ask him, trying to make small conversation to make this the least awkward it can be.
“Not the same without you.” He caresses my cheek and leans in a little bit.
I flinch away from him. I see the hurt in his eyes. Mathew has to know that he just can’t play with my feelings.
“You broke up with me.” I say.
“I know.”
“Then don’t do this to me.” I plead. He nods.
“How is work?” He asks me.
“It’s great.” The song ends, but neither of us make a move to step away from each other. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.
“I need to get back to work.”
He watches me walk away back to my table to get my camera. I don’t look at him because I know I won’t be able to keep my strength.
After Ashton and Braxton left the reception area, I went home to Bear. He was very excited to see me. He laid beside me as I looked through all the pictures of the wedding. I was pleased to see they all came out perfect.
I get to Dexter’s memory card, he was doing a lot better with his photography. He got lots of pictures of the guests, and I find a video. He wasn’t supposed to take any videos.
I press play and Mathew pops up on the screen.
“Do you love her?” I hear Dexter, who is behind the camera, asking Mathew.
“More than life.” From the angle of the camera, I can see that Matty doesn’t know he is being filmed.
“Then why did you let her go.”
“Because I love her. Doesn’t make sense, but it was to protect her and to help her heal. One day she’ll understand.” How was leaving me protecting me? Or helping me heal? I was alone. I wanted be with him and he left me.
That’s where the clip ends.
Chapter Twenty Nine
Mathew Pennington
It’s been a year since I’ve seen Presley Masters. James has Dessie in the living room and they’re talking to her, on Skype. I’m sitting behind the computer, she doesn’t know I’m there, I just want to hear her voice.
Sometimes I’ll text her, but she rarely responds. It hurts. I sent her a gift for her birthday, and she sent back a thank you letter. Presley caught me up in it, and I read it every night, wishing she was back in the US.
“You two are so adorable.” She says to James and Dessie.
They have had their struggles like Presley and I. Most of the problems stems from Dessie having a troubled past. She didn’t want a relationship, and I know she has secrets that only few people know about. The other troubles were on James’ side, and his injury, apparently he had been struggling more than he said with it.
“What’s the big news?” Dessie asks. “It must be big since you did call me in the middle of the night. You were getting so good at getting the time difference right.”
“Sorry about that, I forgot about the time difference. I was just really excited about this news, and I was dialing before I could think.”
“Tell us!” James says and he glances at me.
“I’m moving to Australia! Sydney to be exact. I just got a job offer this morning, they flew out to see me and woo me. It’s also not just based there, I’ll get to travel and write about the world.” I could hear the clear excitement in her voice as she spoke.
“That’s amazing.”
“I’ve been packing since I got the offer, and I put in my notice at work, they actually encouraged me to take it. Also, I will be in Chicago for a few days in about a week to sort packaging stuff out.”
Dessie and James both looked at me, but I didn’t say anything. Dessie looked back at Presley.
“I have class in ten minutes, but I want to talk about this more with you. We have to hang out next week.”
“Okay, I have to eat dinner and finish packing, too. I’ll talk to you guys later.” I heard the call end. I stood up before James or Dessie could say anything.
But to no surprise, Dessie followed me into my room. “She still loves you. You’re being an idiot.”
“Her mom had a point, look how much happier she is without having to rely on me.” She yells in frustration.
“All love is and being in a relationship is, being there for somebody. Be there for her. Relying on someone, isn’t weak, her mom is in the wrong here. Sure it helped her, but maybe she could be even happier with you!” She walked out of my room.
I throw myself back on my bed and sigh. Of course I wanted to be with her, but how many times have I let her down now? It was too late, she’d never forgive me.
One month from now, I’ll be getting my degree and being thrown into the family business. I’ll have what I want.
Except for her.
I will have to live with that for the rest of my life, and I’ll never forgive myself for letting her go. I will always love her, even when she stops loving me. Maybe she already has. I’m just torturing myself with these thoughts.
I walked into the apartment to find the lights on. It was late and I knew James was at Dessie’s apartment, when they wanted more privacy they would go over there, also Dessie was mad at me for what I said the week before, she liked to avoid me when she was mad. I didn’t blame her.
“Hello?” There was nobody in the kitchen or living room. I did hear some music playing, and then I heard a voice singing along to…Taylor Swift?
It was coming from the guest room and I opened the door. The music was playing in the room on a phone, and I saw the bathroom light on. Whoever was here was in the bathroom.
I looked at the phone, and I paused the music. Immediately, the background popped up, it was a picture of me that I’ve never seen or remember someone taking of me.
“James? Dessie?” My heart was beating so loudly, it was the only thing I could hear.
The door opened and out she came. Presley was in her pajamas, a white t-shirt and some little black shorts. Her blue eyes widened at the sight of me.
“Hi.” I say, she was so close to me.
“Hi.” She says so quietly, I almost miss it. “James told me I could stay in the guest room, he didn’t say
you were going to be home for the weekend.”
Was she trying to avoid me?
“Did you think I was going to be in Evanston?” She nods. I never told James that. He made that up. I was at a study session for my business class.
“I can leave.” She says.
“No, don’t.” I didn’t want her to go. I looked at her, like really looked at the beautiful woman standing in front of me.
“You cut your hair.” It was shoulder length now, her blonde hair was pretty long last time I saw her, last year at my sisters wedding.
“Does it look bad?” She still cared what I thought about her. She could still have feelings for me.
“No! It looks great.” I smile and she smiles back at me.
We’re standing in an awkward silence. She looks down at my hand, and nods toward it. “Why do you have my phone?”
I forgot it was in my hand. “Sorry.” I place it down. “I was turning off the music.”
“Do you have something against Taylor Swift?” She jokes.
“Of course not.” I smile. I remember the background on the phone. “When did you take that photo of me?” She immediately starts blushing.
“Remember when you came to pick me up because I blew out my tire?” I nod. I totally forgot that she snapped a few pictures of me. “It’s my favorite picture that I have ever taken.” She admits.
“Congrats on your career, I heard you’re going to Sydney.” I hold my arms open to her, for a hug.
She hugs me. “Thanks.” I take in her scent, she smells like vanilla. I pulled away and I took a few steps back.
“I am going to bed, goodnight.” She nods and I go out of the room, closing the door behind me.
I pause outside of my room and look back at the guest room. That was so hard for me. This was going to be even harder, sleeping one room away from each other. I can deny all I want, but I am not over her.
I wake up to soft knocking and I quickly open the door. Presley is standing there. Her wild eyes were staring at me.
“I need you to tell me why you broke up with me. The real reason.”