by Sara Daniell
Jude laughed. "Yeah right. Two waters, please.”
"And if you don't know what I want to drink then we can't be friends anymore. Oh wait, we aren't friends."
She rolled her eyes and walked off.
It didn't take too long, and Janet came with our order. She placed the pancakes in the middle then handed us our drinks and plates. She looked at me then my plate then walked off. I looked down and saw an edge of some paper poking out from under the plate. I looked back towards where Janet had walked to, but she was nowhere in sight.
Jude handed Selena a plate, and while he did, I took the paper. I glanced down and saw my name on it in handwriting I recognized. Reese's.
I'm not sure exactly what I did to cause my coke to spill into my lap, but it did. I stood up and started wiping my jeans with every napkin on the table.
Jude and Selena were cracking up.
I saw I dropped the letter and picked it up quickly. I told them I'd be back and went into the restroom.
I locked the door and stared down at the letter.
How was this possible?
I opened it with shaky hands.
As I read, I started to hate myself more than I already did.
This whole fucking time I’ve been trying to forget her because the only logical and wise thing she could do was forget me too. I mean, who was I kidding? She wouldn’t come after me when she finally got to leave her mystery home. She had probably long ago figured out she was better off without me. She should’ve dated Garrett. Not me.
But this letter shattered every assumption I had about my princess. She’s been trying to get to me, and I've been pushing myself as far from her as possible. I looked for a date on the note but didn't see one. Maybe the letter was old? Maybe she had given up?
I crumpled it up and threw it in the trash. She needed to move on if she hadn't already. Everyone was right. We were stupid for falling in love. We were too young and two completely different people. I let my emotions get the best of me. I got caught up in a fairytale even though I knew happy endings didn't exist. I was a fool and so was she.
I splashed water on my face and turned on the hand dryer to dry my pants.
When I went back out and sat down, a new cup of coke was waiting on me.
I took a drink and started fixing my plate.
Don't think about her. Dammit, don't do it. You'll lose it. I shook my head and focused on the pancakes. I just kept piling them onto my plate.
"Havock," Jude said calmly.
I picked up the syrup and poured it until it was completely empty and spilling onto the table.
"Havock!" Jude said louder.
I set down the bottle and stared at my mess.
"She's never coming back. Tell me she's never coming back," I said numbly.
"She's never coming back," Jude said with uncertainty.
I nodded but couldn't stop. My head kept moving as I tried to believe him. I looked like a bobble head who had lost its ever lovin’ mind. Tears filled my eyes, and I grew angrier by the second.
I reared back my hand and swung it across the table, sending everything in its path into the floor. The guilt was too much to handle. I couldn't contain my emotions. I stood and took off out to my truck.
Garrett was driving by and when he saw me, he threw his truck in reverse then pulled into the parking lot.
“Havock!”
"Go away, Garrett," I snapped.
I heard Janet yelling my name.
Garrett parked next to my truck and got out. "I've been looking for you! Mom is freaking out!"
I sighed heavily and felt for my phone with a shaky hand. It wasn't there. “I left my phone at the River."
"You better get home before she sends the cops looking for you. People are talking. They think you’re going crazy."
He put his hand on my shoulder. I closed my eyes. Touching me wasn't smart. Not at that moment. I clenched my fist and made myself refrain from punching him.
"Havock, I love you little bro. But you've got to stop this."
Janet hurried over to us. “What the hell?!” she yelled at me.
I shrugged his hand away. "Stop what?! Hurting?! Tell me exactly how the hell I'm supposed to do that! And people have always talked about me! What’s new, Garrett?!" I ignored Janet.
"The drugs. The alcohol. You're headed down a dangerous road. You're headed down the same road that put you in rehab before."
"I enjoy drugs and alcohol. I should've never quit. I should have never of let Reese Johnson into my life. She was a mistake!"
“You don't mean that!”
I looked away. "Tell mom and dad I'll be home when I want to be home."
The traffic in town started picking up.
Janet looked at me in shock. I could tell she was angry. “What the hell is going on?”
Garrett looked at her. "Go inside! I will handle him!"
Janet raised an eyebrow at him. I could tell she was biting back words. She turned and headed inside.
Garrett turned back to me. "You're giving up, Havock. You out of all people are giving up on her and in the process you are hurting yourself!"
I couldn't control myself. I plowed my fist into his jaw. He stumbled back against his truck. I hit him again.
I was losing my sanity. I couldn't control my temper or emotions. They were all over the place.
I was pushed to the ground and looked up to see Jude. "STOP!" He yelled.
I looked over at Garrett. He had a bloody nose and busted lip. Selena was talking to him while wiping his face with a napkin.
I just wanted Reese. All of this wouldn't be happening if she wasn't taken from me.
"Let's get you home," Garrett said holding his hand out to help me up. How could he be so understanding and kind after I just punched the shit out of him?
Why couldn't I be more like my brother? I stood.
“Sorry.”
He shrugged and handed me my keys. "These fell out of your pocket. I'll see you when you get home."
He got in his truck and drove off.
REESE
“Why him?” Janet asked as she looked at me. “I know him! You could do so much better!”
“He makes me happy. He makes me feel safe and loved,” I answered as I drew his face again. “And how do you know Havock?”
Janet looked away from me. “What if...what if he wasn't faithful to you? You know while you've been here?” She asked as she looked at one of the drawings I had hung up. “And I've known that jackass for years. I'm friends with Garrett.”
I shifted. I was in pain. My ribs had been permanently black and blue for the past three months. I couldn't believe it was already April. I had been living in hell for three months, and I wanted out. I was eighteen, but it didn't matter. It didn't matter to them. Nothing mattered to them. They didn't care that I wanted Havock or wanted to go home. Only Janet cared.
“I don't know. I would be hurt but it wouldn't change the fact I still loved him. I know you think I'm too young to feel like this. Everyone does. But that doesn't change how I feel. How he makes me feel.” I looked at her hoping she'd understand.
She looked back at me. She nodded. “I think I understand that feeling. And I don't think you're too young I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting into. Today is my cousin's birthday. We're all going out.” She smiled a little then left the room.
I sat in the basement listening for the next thirty minutes. When it was quiet, I went to the basement door. I turned the knob and let out a sigh of relief. Janet had left it unlocked. I quietly ascended the stairs with my drawing book clutched against my chest. There was nothing I wanted to take with me but what I had in my hands and on my wrist. I continued through the house until I made it to the door. I opened it and once I stepped outside, I took off running. I didn't know which way to go, I just ran.
I stopped running a long while later when a stitch in my side kept me from running anymore. My ribs were hurting so bad I could barely see str
aight, but I knew where I was. I was closer to town than I had thought. I started walking.
I found the main road and followed it staying in the trees and out of sight. I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to go back. I walked for what seemed like half the day. I was tired, thirsty, and hungry, but it didn't matter. I was close to Havock. I knew it.
I came through the trees and let out a sigh of relief when I saw the school.
“Havock,” I whispered to myself. I sneaked around the buildings trying to get to the back where Havock always went to smoke. I could wait for him there. I heard a noise and jerked my head around. Please, don't stop me. Please, don't find me, I begged in my mind. I let out the breath I was holding when I saw it was a dog.
I climbed over a fence carefully then made it to the building Havock smoked behind. I went to the back and froze when I saw him. There. Alone. I had to do a double take. His hair was cut short.
I went to take off towards him but stopped. I knew I looked a mess. What if he didn't want me anymore? I took a deep breath or as much of one as I could with my ribs hurting, and stepped out of the shadows.
“Havock?” I whispered.
He closed his eyes and cursed. He opened his eyes and shook his head. He continued to smoke.
I tilted my head in confusion. I walked closer to him. "Havock," I said a little louder.
He started looking around. "I swear, I've lost my-" he stopped when he saw me.
I tucked the loose strands of hair that had fallen out of my pony tail behind my ears. "Lost your what?" I asked tentatively. I wanted to run into his arms, but I didn't know if he wanted me to or not. I wasn't going to force my love on someone who was over me. I tried not to let on how much pain I was in. My ribs hurt from the trip, and I felt sick. Really sick. Of course, most of that could have been from the fact my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.
I took another step closer when he didn't say anything. "What did you lose, Havock?" I asked with a slight smile.
"My damn mind," he said in shock.
A tear slid down my cheek. "And why do you think that?"
"I've. . ." he stopped talking and took a hit off his cigarette. He held the smoke in longer than usual then let it out. "You can't be here. You've been in my head constantly, your voice has been tormenting me, and now I'm seeing you," he scoffed. "Shit. Now I'm talking to thin air." He shook his head.
I walked closer to him then touched his face with my hand. "I'm really here," I whispered. Another tear slid down my cheek.
He leaned into my touch and closed his eyes. "No, you're not," he whispered.
"Then how am I touching you." I leaned forward and kissed him.
He was hesitant about kissing me back at first. He almost pulled away, but instead pulled me closer. He deepened the kiss and held tightly to me. I felt something wet drip on my lips and when he pulled away, tears were pouring from his eyes. We stared breathlessly at one another before he brought his lips hungrily back to mine.
I wrapped my arms around his neck holding him close to me as we poured everything we had into that kiss. I only pulled back when he hit my ribs. I yelled out in pain a little.
The bell rang but he never acknowledged it. "Why'd you just yell like that?"
"It's nothing," I whispered. I looked at the door of the school then back to him. More tears fell down my cheeks. "I'm sorry I took so long." I cupped the side of Havock's face.
He took his keys out of his pocket. I followed him to his truck. Several students looked at us, shocked, as we walked into the student parking lot.
I kept looking around for any sign of Brad or Troy. "I shouldn't be seen," I whispered nervously.
We made it to his truck and got in. "Then let's get out of town." He drove away from the school.
We drove until we were on a back road and parked near the river. I looked at Havock. "You'll get in trouble for skipping school," I said with a slight smile.
He laughed. "They do take skipping school pretty seriously." His smile faded.
"I'm sorry I missed your birthday, Havock," I said as I looked at him. "I tried getting out then, but it didn't go too well."
"I can't believe you're in my truck right now." He looked at me but he was different. Something was off.
"Havock, what's wrong?" I asked as I stared into his eyes.
“So much.” He looked out his window.
“Just tell me.”
He tapped his steering wheel with his index finger. "Are you back for good? Or will you just be taken from me again?"
A tear slid down my cheek. "I don't know. I plan on never going back there again." I wiped the tear before he saw it. "Do you want me to leave, Havock? Do you want me to stay away from you?"
I didn't know what was wrong but it was enough to make it feel like there was a huge wall in-between us keeping us apart.
I had escaped my prison to be with him and we were still so far apart.
I swallowed hard as I waited for him to respond. If he asked me to leave I would. I would do anything for him.
I put my hand on the door knob just in case he asked me to leave.
"I unwillingly made myself forget you, Reese. I broke into the school to raid the counselor's office to find anything I could about you. Every time I tried to find you, I came up empty handed. I was losing my mind." He lit a cigarette and rolled down the window. "I had no other choice but to live life like I had never met you." He blew some out the window. "It was the only way to stop the hurt. But the hurt didn’t stop. I don’t even know who I am anymore."
I swallowed hard again. "I understand," I said quietly. "You didn't answer my question. Do you want me to leave you alone?"
A tear slid down his cheek as he took another hit off his cigarette. He still hadn't looked at me. "Of course I don't, Princess."
I shifted closer to him and tried not to wince. I touched his face and made him look at me. "Just tell me, Havock."
"Tell you what?"
"Whatever is keeping you from looking at me. You're not acting like yourself."
He scoffed. “Because I’m not myself.” He shook his head and flicked ashes out the window. "I can't talk to you about the past three months right now."
"Okay." I smiled at him then put my head against his chest. "I missed you."
He hesitated before putting his arm around me. He hit my ribs and another yell escaped me.
He lifted my shirt enough to see my ribs. His face reddened. "What the hell, Reese?!"
A tear slid down my cheek. "It's been a long three months."
He started the truck. And started driving. We were going in the direction of town.
"Havock, where are we going?" I asked nervously.
"The hospital." He pulled his phone from his pocket. I heard him talking to his mom.
I started to panic. "Havock, you don't understand. I can't!"
He hung up his phone and kept driving.
"Mom is meeting us there. Who did this?!"
"Havock, it's not that simple." I ran a hand down my face. I had to explain it to him. "I...I was being trained," I said as I looked at my hands.
"Trained?! For what!"
"I'm a...I'm a...witch," I whispered.
He started laughing. Hysterically.
"I knew you wouldn't believe me," I said looking out the window. "I'm not saying they weren't jerks and they didn't hurt me, but they were trying to help me. Some of the time."
He shook his head. "You’re taking crazy, Princess. You're not a witch. Who told you this?! The ones who caused those bruises?! Apparently, they are insane!" He pulled into the hospital parking lot. Johanna was waiting.
She opened my door when we parked.
"Hi," I said with a small smile as I got out.
"Reese!" She kissed my forehead as she held my cheeks in her hands. "Oh my goodness! It's really you!"
"It is. I've missed you," I said softly. I tried to walk but all the running, not drinking anything, not eating, and all the pain hit m
e.
Havock lifted my shirt to show her. She gasped. She helped me inside. Havock followed behind us.
She started explaining to the nurses why I was there. Not leaving out I was a diabetic.
It only took a few minutes, and I was put in a room. I looked at Mrs. Johanna as they started looking me over. "Where's Havock?"