by Renea Mason
I glanced up to see him rummaging through the contents. He discovered the silver box and lifted the lid, pulled out the necklace, dangling it by the chain. “Wow, you were more pissed off than I thought.”
“What did you expect? You tell me you love me and then disappear. It’s been weeks. Not one returned phone call. Is this some kind of sick game to you? See how long I’ll wait? Then today...you act like you hardly know me, but after seeing that blonde, I can see why.”
He undid the clasp, stretched the strands apart, and stalked toward me, ignoring my rant. “Do you remember the last thing I said to you after we made love in your office at Western?” He looped his hands around my neck and fastened the chain.
The images that flooded my mind stung. His body wrapped around me, inside me. His words of love. I searched for the details he requested. “You said you were going to check out the Society and that you’d be in touch.”
He knelt in front of me, and adjusted the necklace. “Yes, that is what I said. I also asked if you could love me the way I needed. If I remember correctly, you said yes.” He ran a finger along my collarbone, teasing the skin.
I refused to let the heat he coaxed forth distract me from my point. “I didn’t know I’d have to love you on my own, like some celebrity crush. I’m not that pathetic. Stupidly, I assumed you’d be involved. I’m alone enough as it is; loving someone who isn’t there only makes the abyss darker.”
“Oh, Elaine... I’m so sorry.” He kissed my forehead. “Now, let me tell you where I was wrong, and why I need your forgiveness. And where you need to be reasonable with me.”
“Are we bargaining, Doctor?”
He clutched the back of my head. “Xavier. Call me, Xavier...” He tugged my hair, forcing a surprised gasp from my lips. “Say my name.”
I stared at him, but remained silent. He might have the upper hand, but he wasn’t going to win the battle. For fuck’s sake, I’d quit my job to get away from him.
His chest rumbled with frustration. “So be it.” He shifted and pressed closer to me, forcing my legs farther apart. He cleared his throat. “I’ve spent a lot of time doing my own thing—coming and going as I pleased. I underestimated how you might perceive my actions. I’ve never had a normal relationship. Hell, for most of our marriage, Lydia and I weren’t even on the same continent. Since her death, I often found myself lost in my latest obsession. Thoughtless of me, I know.”
“It’s who you are. I came to terms with that today.”
He stroked my cheek with his thumb. “I’d hardly call that...” He pointed to the Amazon box. “Coming to terms. You were running.”
I stretched my shoulder; the angle of the cuffs cramped my muscles. “I had a good teacher.”
He raised an eyebrow. “I might deserve that, but just because I wasn’t here doesn’t mean I didn’t think of you. In fact, you are a major distraction.” He lowered his lips to the corner of mine and whispered, “Every night before I fall asleep, you are there.” He placed a soft kiss on my upper lip.
Damn him. My body betrayed me with every touch.
He breathed, “I thought of you touching me. How good you felt when we made love. I ended up crying out your name while I fisted my cock.”
The surrender he fished for was replaced by fury. “I hope it was good for you. Because you want to know what that time was like for me?” I nipped his lip with my teeth, willing myself not to bite too hard in frustration, and responded before he had a chance to answer. What he thought didn’t matter. “I lay awake wondering if you were alive. If I’d done something to make you abandon me. If the Society had imprisoned you. If I had been played, and your declarations were all a game. That’s what I did each night...while you got off.”
His head slumped and rested against my shoulder. “I am so sorry.” His arms encircled me. “I told you I get fixated.”
“Picking up a phone never occurred to you? To let me hear my name on your lips? Honestly, Doctor, you can’t be that dense and that brilliant at the same time.”
Every time I called him doctor he tensed, giving me a selfish sense of satisfaction.
He nuzzled my neck. His gusto gone. “Will you let me explain?”
I pulled on the cuffs. “I’m not going anywhere. Besides, I am curious to find out what was worth my sanity and my job.”
“Your job?” He pulled back to look into my eyes.
I laughed. “I’m really done with you. I sent my resignation less than thirty minutes before you arrived.” I returned his stare, but magnified the intensity.
“You haven’t heard my explanation.”
“True, but as far as we’re concerned, I’m done. The minute you release the cuffs, I’m packing your stuff back in that box, and you’re on your way, dear Doctor.”
He sighed and slumped against me. His arms encircled my waist. The scent of his cologne brought back memories I needed to suppress. I inhaled, cursing him and his delicious scent.
“The Society...” he whispered in my ear. “It’s more than Charles and Lydia. The succession goes back centuries. I contacted them that night after I left you in the office. They are watching me. My every move. Since then, strange things have happened. Sebastian’s house was broken into. He’s OK, but his study was ransacked. They stole items that belonged to Miriam. Remember Patrice from the gallery?”
I rolled my eyes. How could I forget? Perfect body, his hands all over her curves. “Yes, I remember. She’s the curator, right?”
“Correct. She was mugged, held at gunpoint, and then forced to empty out the gallery safe. Thankfully, the one they emptied only contained art and none of Lydia’s journals. I’ve moved them to a secure location.” He kissed the base of my throat, causing me to shiver.
“The night after I left you, I visited Ellington House. I thought the Society was connected to the university, but it’s not so. Many of the members are employed there, but only because of the convenience. Their home base sits between New York and Boston, on a huge estate billed as nothing more than a private club.” He removed his face from my neck and leaned back to look in my eyes, resting his hands on my hips. “I went there and told them that Lydia had told me everything. I figured I had enough information to improvise through any gaps. They accepted me far too easily. They told me that I had already earned my place among their ranks, meaning I’d met my potential, but they wondered why I took so long.”
“Great, you’re becoming one of them.” I looked away from him.
He grabbed me by the chin and turned my face, forcing my gaze to meet his. “Beating them at their own game is the only way, Elaine. The only way I can break them is to become them. I can’t get close enough any other way. To find out what motivates them.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to hear anymore.
“God, I wish you’d...” he grumbled under his breath and then paused, settling on a new thought. “That’s when things started to escalate. People following me. Strange phone calls. Sebastian suggested I keep you at a distance. He’s worried for your safety.”
“So you couldn’t bother to tell me this? There was no way to return at least one of those phone messages I left?”
“I tossed my phone that first night I visited Ellington House. Sebastian thought discarding the device was best. Said they may have bugged the circuitry and the contraption posed a security risk, since the phone had been in my jacket, out of my control. I never heard your messages.”
“Of course. And let me guess, the great Xavier Vincent lost my number and had no way to contact me.” I let out a frustrated sigh. “Don’t. Just don’t.” My eyes stung. Tears fell as I shook my head, dismissing his explanations.
He grasped his hair in frustration, pulling, with a growl in his throat. “They execute people, Elaine. That isn’t something I can take lightly. I’d rather have you hate me and be alive, than love me and be dead. A man in a silver Lincoln has been following me. My mail went missing after the doorman verified the letters and packages had been deli
vered. Hell, they probably followed me here. Sebastian suggested I break all contact for your safety. We hoped that our investigation would only be a few more weeks before we took action. I didn’t think a few weeks apart was enough to make you hate me.”
“Sebastian’s sure full of advice. I guess his advice didn’t include calling me, clueing me in on what was happening.” I clenched my fists, pulling on the cuffs.
“It did occur to him. In fact, he suggested just that,” he answered in a low voice, looking down at the floor. “You know me, Elaine, it’s all or nothing. I couldn’t hear your voice and then stay away. My plan was to finalize everything fast and get back to you.”
“If you had been alone today, I might have only disliked you. But my opinion shouldn’t bother you, since you have plenty of other options.”
“None that I want.”
“Sometimes it’s not about want, Doctor. Sometimes it’s about what’s best.”
“Is that what you were doing before I got here? What you thought was best? Denying my existence?”
“Yes. It’s the only choice.”
“Then you should understand my motivations perfectly. I stayed away because avoiding you was for the best—for your safety.” He brushed his lips against mine and breathed, “But I need all my strength for my concentration, and after today in the restaurant, none of that would be possible. You’re my weakness, Elaine. I tried to deny my feelings, to run, to fool myself, but avoiding you isn’t the answer. Being here is selfish of me, but I won’t lose you.” His lips closed over my full lower one and caressed, until his mouth enveloped mine. His movements were slow and tender while his fingers gripped my hips.
Not fair. He felt so good; his touch drowned me in the storm that was Xavier Vincent. No matter how angry I grew, the chemistry, or whatever drew me to him, threatened to break me.
He kissed me harder then pulled back and whispered, “Please, forgive me.” He nuzzled my neck and his hands moved to the button on my dress pants. A quick tug and he lowered the zipper.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m hoping to bring back old memories.”
I should have protested. I should have said, no, but I couldn’t.
His fingers hooked in the waistband. “Lift your hips for me.”
I hesitated.
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. You can keep up this pretense, but you and I both know how this is going to end.”
I wanted to hate him. He knew so little about me yet had so much control, even when I actively resisted. “I can’t do this. You’re right, if I knew you, I would have known the risk of you disappearing on your little adventure. Maybe that’s what makes this harder. I shouldn’t have fallen in love with someone I know so little about.”
“Love isn’t an exchange of information. Love is a connection between two people that defies explanation. Nothing stands in its way—not distance, time, or circumstance. Love doesn’t care how well you know me; it still exists. And no matter how hard you try to will it away, you will lose.”
Damn him. I lifted my hips, and he slid my pants down my legs. The uncomfortable pull on my arm from the cuffs reminded me of just how little say in everything I had.
“Don’t fight me. Please.” He tugged my panties, forcing my bare bottom to rest on the hardwood surface of the chair. After removing the undergarment and my shoes and socks, leaving me naked from the waist down, he eased back against his chair. He stared for a moment and then stood. His quiet focus was unnerving. He crossed his arms, grabbed the glass from the table, and then strode to the kitchen.
He dumped the water into the sink and then pressed the button on the fridge dispenser. Ice clinked against the glass.
He’s thirsty? Strips me naked and decides he needs a drink? “What are you doing?”
“What do you think I’m doing?”
“God only knows.” With a puff, I blew the stray strands of hair from my eyes.
“Do you want the technical explanation?”
“Cut the bullshit.”
“I’m killing your stubborn streak.”
“Not possible. You’ll still leave when this is done.” I hardened my expression.
He dipped his fingers into the glass and grasped a piece of ice. He sucked the droplets from the pointed edge of the cube. “I learned a lot in my short time at Ellington House. Did you know that in almost all cases, when the subject is willing, the relationship between keeper and subject is sexual? I was the subject and Lydia, the keeper. She was a kind of fucked-up fairy godmother.” He dropped the cube into the glass and rested his hip against the counter at least ten feet away.
“I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about. Lydia harbored me by not having sex with me. She perpetuated the lie about my condition for my protection. Abstinence was her way of not violating me. They all thought I’d agreed to be her subject when we married, but she never gave me a clue.” He laughed, but the pain still bled through.
“Xavier...” The overwhelming mixture of sympathy and anger made my head spin. I still had love for him. My rage killed my affection, but compassion stood like a sacrifice in the way, promising a life of guilt and sorrow should my anger succeed.
“Since I’ve reached my potential, I’m free to become a keeper and I was shown...the perks...of membership.”
“What? A free memory scrub with every execution?”
He grinned. “No, my love, sex. They offered me sex.”
Fury raced through me. My cheeks flooded with heat and my heart pounded in my chest. I growled through gritted teeth, “Good for you.”
Standing straight, he walked toward me, and stopped a few feet away. He collected an ice cube in his fingers, but this time he held the cold block above me and allowed droplets of water to drip onto my knee.
I let out a small gasp, jerking my knee in reaction to the chill on my overheated skin.
“Once a month the council hosts a gathering for a little R&R. Some keepers with willing subjects attend. Charles and Lydia had quite a reputation for delivering a standup performance. I was surprised when my contact invited me to join.”
I glared at him, my legs closed tight.
“Elaine, there was sex everywhere, in every position and every variety. And there were very few rules. Subjects were always submissive to their keeper.” He reached his hand out farther, and hovered the ice over my legs, allowing another water drop to pool between my thighs.
Just when I didn’t think I could be more enraged... He liked to watch—for years, voyeurism was his only way of finding satisfaction. That sick sense of betrayal cut deeper, knotting my gut. “Why the fuck should I care? Go! Go be with them.” I bowed my head, fighting more tears.
Another drip, cold on my overheated skin.
“If you’d settle down, you might realize why I’m sharing this story.” He moved closer and drizzled another cool drop into the pool that collected near my sex.
“What? That you got off at an orgy while I wondered if you were alive?”
“I didn’t betray you, Elaine. My time there was spent gathering intelligence. Nothing more.”
“How convenient. You know what?” I raised my head slowly until I met his gaze. “Take these cuffs off and get out.”
Drip. My thighs trembled.
He sighed. “No.” He sucked the cube into his mouth, wrapping his full lips around the very end. With a pop he released it. “You don’t understand. The only way I can keep you close and still protect you is if they think you’re my subject. Interfering with a subject is against the rules.”
Another droplet caused a ripple on the surface of the small puddle forming between my closed legs and mound.
“I could keep you locked away, where they will never find you. I won’t do that to you. So the only choice is for you to play along. But your performance needs to be convincing.” Another drip. “Spread your legs.”
“No.”
He raised an eyebrow. His jaw tightened. “It wa
sn’t a request.”
I didn’t budge.
“Fine.” He dropped to his knees, gathered another ice cube from the glass, and held the frozen water between his teeth. With both hands free, he forced my legs apart and scooted between so that closing them was no longer an option. He removed the ice cube from between his lips and spoke. “You need to trust me. Trust that I know what’s best for you. If you’re going to be mine, there is no other way. If your love is conditional on my presence, you don’t have a choice. If you can’t convince them that I’ve mastered you, they will kill you. If you want me Elaine, if you want us, you’ll need to become mine to play their game.” His one hand urged my hips forward, so my sex was on display. With the other, he held out the piece of ice to eye level, so I could watch the droplet form, dangle and then drip onto my already wet core.
“Like this ice, I’ll sometimes need to be cold. My demands subtle like the drips of water...and other times...” Quickly, his hand lowered, and he placed the ice against my swollen flesh.
I gasped and jerked, causing the cuffs to cut into my wrists while I gritted my teeth.
He slid the ice back and forth, dancing over the slippery surface. “Other times... I’ll make demands you might not be prepared for.” He removed the ice from between my legs, wrapped his lips around the frozen cube and sucked, tasting me on the surface. His hand cupped my pussy and his mouth collided with mine.
I resisted, but he ignored my reluctance, fisting his hand in my hair and holding my mouth to his. As his lips continued to demand entrance, his fingers slid through my wetness until he entered me with two of them.
On my gasp, he slid the ice into my mouth and increased the rhythm between my legs. He buried his face in my neck.
I spat the ice at him. The melting cube hit his dark blue shirt, leaving a small, darkened spot, and then dropped to the floor.
He yanked my hair, forcing my head back. “That wasn’t very nice. You should be punished for that.” He licked from the nape of my neck to my ear and then whispered, “I can’t think of a more fitting punishment than making your body give me what your anger refuses.” He buried his fingers deep. “You’re going to come for me. Let go of your anger and surrender.”