by Renea Mason
I strode into the bathroom and collected the crisp white towels from the silver rack. I wet a washcloth and squeezed out the excess water, pausing for a moment to look at myself in the mirror. A complete mess. My hair was laced with blood and tangled from sweat. The image only partially represented how discombobulated I felt. Charles? There was no way.
I passed Xavier on my way to Sebastian’s bedside.
Sebastian stood for a moment, pulled back the covers, and then sat again on the edge of the bed.
I bent, pulled his first shoe off and then the next, followed by his socks.
He wiggled his toes and stared at me.
I knelt between his legs and starting with his face, ran the warm wet cloth over his skin, removing the blood that had smeared and dried.
He moaned under my touch. “That feels so good. I can almost forget about the stab wound.”
Xavier watched at the end of the bed, keeping his eyes fixed on me, as I ran the cloth down Sebastian’s arms and chest. I looked up into Sebastian’s intense eyes as I washed away what I could of the iodine, only to glance away to meet Xavier’s scrutiny.
I laid the cloth across Sebastian’s knee and said, “We should get you out of these pants too; they are stiff with blood.” I reached for his button, and without any other consideration, lowered the zipper. “Raise your hips.” He grabbed the washcloth in his hand and complied. I slid his pants over his round ass, and down his legs, leaving him in only his boxers.
He was beautiful, even in his current state. He reached out with the cloth and wiped the blood from my chin and cheeks. Dropping the cloth, he cupped my face, forcing me to meet his gaze. “I haven’t thanked you for all you’ve done today. You gave me love, faced fear, battled surprise, and took control when I couldn’t. You’ve saved me in so many ways.”
I glanced toward Xavier, who stood with his arms crossed, analyzing us. His expression was not one of damnation, but rather wonder. There was still a small nagging doubt that I might have been wrong about where his permission and Sebastian were concerned, but in the next moment he erased my worries.
“Elaine, you don’t need my permission to kiss him. He is yours as long as you are mine. You don’t need my permission to love him. Go ahead, kiss him good night.”
Sebastian needed no further urging. He tilted my head and placed his lips, soft and full, against mine. He palmed the back of my head as our mouths moved against each other, warm, and electric. The moment could have been dangerous if he weren’t injured. He pulled away reluctantly, allowing our contact to linger for a moment, and then he spoke. “He’s right, Elaine. I’m yours. I would have given my life for you in that store today. I’ll protect you at any cost.”
Tears pricked at the corner of my eyes.
His were glossy and laced with sincerity.
“Don’t deny her the words, Sebastian. Never make her wonder.”
“I love you, Elaine.” He stroked my cheek.
I couldn’t hold off the overwhelming emotions. I began to cry. With the stress of the day, the adoring look in his eyes, his words, and Xavier’s urging, everything was too much.
Sebastian gathered me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me, as I wept. “Elaine, it’s OK. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Xavier moved to stand behind me and stroked my hair.
“I’m just so confused. Overwhelmed. I mean...Miriam.”
Sebastian rubbed my back. “What about Miriam?”
“It’s so soon. How can you even say that?”
He kissed my forehead. “Oh, Elaine, that’s the thing about love. When love is new, it’s hard to decipher what you’ve found, the feeling is consuming. But once you know and have experienced the depth of love in its truest form, the sensation is easy to recognize when you feel its hold again. I told Xavier that falling for you was a risk, and today, any doubt was removed.” He urged my head back, lifting my chin. With extreme tenderness, he placed a soft kiss on my lips, and then one on each of the tears running down my face. “You don’t have to return the sentiment, but know that I’m here for you. And if you have any concerns about Miriam, remember you’ve already received her blessing. I think the idea of us would make her incredibly happy.”
Xavier took my hand and urged me to stand.
Sebastian lay back on the bed.
I pulled the covers over him, kissed his forehead, and shut off the bedside lamp.
Xavier squeezed my hand. “Come on.”
I wanted to tell him how confused I was, how conflicted our arrangement made me feel. Could I love more than one person? Did I love them both? The questions about Sebastian’s confession and my possible connection to the Society would make sleep impossible.
He led me to an adjoining room and motioned to the bathroom. “How about this? You go take a shower and clear your head. I’m going to make some phone calls to get you some clothes and other necessities. When you’re done, you can come out here, lay down with me, and tell me everything that happened.”
“I don’t have anything to wear.”
“You will tomorrow, but until then just dry off and join me in bed. I’ll behave. I promise, you’ve had a rough day.” He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. “Go on.” He pushed me toward the bathroom.
I closed the door. The tears began to flow again. The events of the day replayed through my mind, so many questions unanswered. Who was that man? How could I be involved in any of this?
I held up my wrist and ran my thumb over the scars that had been there since the accident. Charles? Lydia’s Charles? Sebastian with a gun? Sebastian stabbed? Sebastian’s love?
I turned on the shower and allowed the water to numb my body as I washed the evidence of the horrible day down the drain.
A cloud of steam preceded my entrance into the cool hotel room. Xavier sat on the bed, his shirt partially unbuttoned, cuff links removed and sitting on the nightstand. His shoes were neatly placed beside the closet.
I wrapped the towel tighter around me. Yet another moment that seemed so normal, in contrast to everything else. There was a knock at the door.
He stood and kissed my wet hair before heading to answer it. “Wait here. The bellhop isn’t deserving of a vision so lovely, no matter how diligent he might be.”
I stared out the window, dozens of floors above the city. Its sparkling lights entranced, and the sound of the traffic below lulled, barely audible.
He wheeled in a large, silver cart. “In case you’re hungry, and this...” He grabbed a bottle of wine, screwed the spiral into the top, and pulled the cork with a pop. “I must insist.” He poured the red liquid into a glass, handing it to me after it nearly one-third full of the decadent liquid. I took the drink and studied the glass—how simple and transparent, yet powerful. Easily shattered but strong enough to hold a substance capable of altering the mind of its creator. Such strange contradictions the world was built upon.
“Drink up.” He wrapped his hand around mine, raising my arm and the glass to my lips. “Doctor’s orders.”
I sipped.
He walked over to the bed, and tugged back the heavy linens. “Get into bed. I’ll get you anything you need.”
Reaching past him, I set the wine glass on the nightstand.
He turned me to face him, untucked the end and unwound the terry cloth from my body. I stood naked between the bed, him, and the New York nightlife.
He kissed my shoulder, and it radiated a tickle through my body that caused me to shudder. “You are so beautiful. I’m the luckiest man alive.”
I tried to let his compliment sink in, but he must of have seen the disbelief on my face.
“What? You don’t believe me?” He bent and gathered the extra pillows, tossing them on my side of the bed, so I could sit against them.
“No. I believe you, but if you’re the luckiest man alive, then where does that leave Sebastian?” I may have sounded sarcastic, but all his ill-defined statements made my acceptance of our arrangement difficult.
He lowered his hand to my hip, urging me to sit. “I guess a close second, but you gave me your love freely and first, so I will always be your king.”
I sat on the bed and propped my back against the pillows, pulling the covers free from the bottom to cover my breasts.
He walked around the bed and pulled the cart within reach of his side of the bed. He poured himself a glass of wine and set it on the nightstand.
Sebastian’s breathy snores drifted in from the other room and comforted me. The muffled sounds meant he was still alive, confirming he was probably right about the injury.
Xavier finished unbuttoning his shirt, and shrugged it from his shoulders, draping on the chair in the corner. He pulled his T-shirt over his head, revealing his smooth, sculpted chest, which was highlighted by a beam of light shining in from the bathroom. He unbuckled his belt and undid his pants, allowing them to fall to the floor. He bent to remove his socks, flexing each of the muscles along his back. When he stood, he stared at me. The perplexed look on his face confused me. “You know, I feel at absolute peace when you are near. The sensation is something I’ve never experienced with anyone else. I know so little about who you are, yet your presence makes everything so easy.”
He was so poetically cryptic at times. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“For example, settling you into bed, feels right. Like we should be here, like this is every night of our lives.”
“No offense, Xavier, but today isn’t a day I’d like to repeat.”
He laughed. “Not that. Just us. But as I’m standing here, I’m having a massive internal debate on whether I should leave the boxers on and climb into bed, or if I should be nude in solidarity with you.”
“How do you normally sleep?”
“In my boxers.” He slipped his fingers into the waistband of his underwear and dropped them to the floor.
I laughed. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” I gazed upon his picturesque body while he slid between the covers.
“I thought about how I usually do things, and I don’t want things to be the same. I want nothing between us.”
I smiled at him.
He scooted toward the middle of the bed. “Drink your wine.”
“Doctor, are you trying to get me drunk?”
“No, I’m trying to get you to relax and open up to me.”
I retrieved the glass from the nightstand and took a nice big gulp. “Is this what worked with your patients?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Careful...” he warned in jest.
I sat the wine back on the stand and when I turned he wrapped his arms around me, his face nuzzling my neck.
“One day you’re going to roll over, just like that, and you’re going to be my wife. I will make sure the world knows it’s you I wake up next to every day.”
Was that even possible? He didn’t know about the supposed connection to Charles. What about Sebastian? Marco? Where did they fit in? My face must have betrayed my thoughts.
He stroked the side of my face. “I don’t want to pressure you. If that’s not what you want...”
“Xavier, you have to understand that my entire life has been nothing but change and adjustments for the past several years. A completely new reality. My father, you, this...this...relationship...and now my sister’s wedding. If what I found out today has even the smallest amount of truth, I honestly don’t know what I’ll do.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“We went to a restaurant...” Should I tell him about the sex? Could I? “However, after we arrived everything...turned weird.”
I leaned against him. “Xavier...” I buried my face in his neck, not wanting to see his face.
“What’s wrong?” He rubbed his hand along my back.
“Do you know what a witness is? Not someone who saw something, but a sex club witness.” I figured he might since he spent most of his life watching people have sex.
“Yes.” He leaned back, forcing me to look at him and raised an eyebrow. “I’m surprised you know what a witness is.”
“I didn’t until today.”
“Ah...and you were with Sebastian...”
I tried to hide my face from him again.
“Elaine, my queen, did you fuck Sebastian and let someone watch?”
I took a deep breath and whispered, “Yes.”
He started at the base of my throat and began kissing his way up to my ear and whisper, “God, I’m sorry I missed it.”
I wanted to pull back the audible sigh of relief that escaped.
He chuckled. “Did you think I would be upset?”
“I didn’t think so, but there was a bit of doubt. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but this relationship isn’t always easy to understand.”
“I think you’re figuring it out just fine, and your concern for people is one of the reasons I love you so much. But I do have one request...”
“Yes.”
“I want you to tell me the details. I want you to tell me how he fucked you and where. Can you do that?”
I laughed. “Sure.”
A quick kiss to my lips, and he said, “Before we indulge in the exciting adventures of Sebastian’s cock, why don’t you tell me how he got stabbed first?”
“It was the witness. He broke protocol at the restaurant and then followed us to the market.”
Xavier sucked in a breath and sat up. “That’s concerning. What did he look like?”
“Tall, graying hair, goatee. He had an accent. Does this look familiar?” I raised my wrist to his face.
“What?”
“The scars.”
“No. I mean, I’ve seen them.” He kissed my wrist. “But the scars don’t bother me if that’s what you’re worried about. They are part of you that’s all that matters.”
“You’ve never seen anyone with similar marks? Lydia, did she have them?”
He raised an eyebrow. “No. What happened at the market?”
“The witness showed up, He’d followed us. Sebastian immediately trained a gun on him. The man told us that Charles scarred his subjects.”
“Charles? Charles who?”
“Charles Lemiux.”
He stiffened, his back straight. He grabbed my arm. “What? A stranger watches you have sex, breaks protocol, and then follows you to a mountain market to tell you you’re Charles Lemiux’s subject?”
“He saw the scars when Sebastian was massaging my arms after...you know. Sebastian was furious that he approached us.”
“Yes, I can understand why. That’s not how it’s supposed to work.”
“Since he followed us to the market, Sebastian thought it best we ditch the car outside of the city.”
“Where does all the blood come in?”
“At the market, Sebastian subdued the man, but he somehow managed to stab Sebastian. Sebastian shot him in both legs to slow him down and then told the clerk to call an ambulance. He wanted him to live so he could send the Society a message.”
He rubbed the patch of raised skin on my arm; his brow furrowed. “That’s complete nonsense. Lydia was most certainly Charles’s subject, and she had no scars.”
“Why would he say it? What was the motivation? I hope confronting me was worth getting shot.”
“I have no idea. There is no way you’re connected to Charles. Our worlds didn’t even meet until I saw you for the first time when you were working as Western’s PR rep.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“It doesn’t make sense.”
Relief washed over me.
He looked at my wrist again, kissing it. “How did you get this?”
“I was in a car accident several years ago. They had to do surgery. What are we going to do, Xavier?”
“I’ll have to see what I can find out. I’m so glad you’re safe.” He kissed my cheek.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” I squeezed his bicep, pulling him closer to me. After the day’s events, I needed an anchor.
/> “You can’t go back now.”
“I know.” I sighed. “So what happens now?”
He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “In two days, I’ll be officially sworn in at the monthly gathering. You have to be there. That’s where I will claim you as mine. We’re all masked for anonymity. Only the leaders know your identity. In the meantime, I’ll try to find out who your stalker was.”
“They’re just going to accept me as your subject? No strings attached? I find that hard to believe.” I crossed my arms over my chest as a wave of vulnerability washed over me again.
“I have a plan. They love their rules. Think of it as honor among thieves. Most seem relatively harmless. Playing subtle mind games, providing financial influence, making their own reality show, but on a microcosm. From what I can piece together, each is responsible for shaping the life of another either directly or indirectly, depending on if the subject is willing or influenced. Failure in some cases can be deadly. Curing a form of cancer secured my place among them. Had Lydia not fallen ill, I might have been killed, depending on the wager. It’s the council that’s my concern. Outside of them, most want to get their name in the trade publication, fulfill some need for control and have access to the sex parties, but the council...” His tone was flat. He averted his eyes and looked down at the blanket covering us.
I touched his face. “Are you OK?”
He refused to look at me. “I’m so confused about Lydia. Every day I come to realize more and more what I felt for her wasn’t romantic love. Admiration...maybe? Co-dependency? Hope? It’s hard to say. I may have never known the difference if I hadn’t met you. What I feel for you...is unlike anything else. You’ve made me question everything.”
“I sometimes wish I had refused to go to Paris or that I’d thrown away Miriam’s key. Your life would be uncomplicated, everything would make sense, and I wouldn’t have to see the pain in your eyes.” I closed my eyes, taking my turn to look away.
He caressed my cheek. “Elaine, look at me.”
I raised my gaze to meet his, and he pressed his naked body against mine. “I don’t want you to say or think that again.” His voice was harsh. “I’ve endured a lot throughout my life and felt nothing. Pain means there is something worth holding onto, something to fuel my passion. Pain and passion are two sides on one coin. The only reason I feel so much discomfort is because of how passionately you’ve taught me to love. You’ve awakened things in me that I didn’t know existed.”