by Charla Layne
“Sean, we’re friends. Grams said you would be my protector. And that’s true. You and your family have kept me safe from whatever it is that I’m supposed to fear. And I appreciate it. But I don’t have feelings for you that way. Not at all. I’ve been in love with someone else for years now.” This last part of my comment seemed to have no affect on Sean at all. Hmmm, surprising, if I was truly destined to be his “mate.”
“Jake, yes, I know. I can, um…sense your level of….um, arousal, shall we say when he is near you,” Sean averted his eyes when he said this which I was glad for since the blush that covered me was from my head to my toes.
“So if you are aware of my, um…feelings towards him,” I asked, “then why do you bother caring for me like that?”
Sean stood up and turned away from me. He ran his hands through his thick hair. He answered me quietly. “It’s just not that simple. I cannot explain it. I cannot stop how I feel or change it. It is something that I know. I do not understand why fate would pair a shifter with a non-shifter, much less a witch. My father imprinted on my mother at a young age, as well. It seems to run in our family. Our senses are particularly strong and keen.”
“Well, I’m not looking for mate, thank you very much,” I said, “much less one of the furry variety.” I added that last stab just because I knew it would bother him. “So maybe you should just consult with your leader or whatever and tell them that there’s been some kind of mistake.”
“Nature does not make mistakes, Trina.” Sean started to walk away then paused. “I will not crowd you any longer now that I am aware of your thoughts about me. But I will always be near if you need me.” I heard the sadness in his final comment and watched him walk back towards my house.
Way to go, Trina. I had just intentionally emotionally harmed one of the people that I had grown closest to and trusted. One of the few people who had no doubt in my abilities to lead an entire coven, even though I was only sixteen. And someone who had just declared to me that he saw me as a part of his future. Yeah, that was real smooth, Trina. I bet Grams was shaking her head at me now. But I still had to think about this before I could even begin to process through a way to apologize him. His mate! Good Goddess!
Chapter Eighteen
True to his word, Sean kept his distance from me. He still drove me to and from school and meetings with Ben. But something had changed and he had become more standoffish. Yeah, Trina, you did that. I reminded myself of that from time to time.
Rachel and Devon continued to attend classes with me and some of the more private sessions with the Council members. My grandmother had chosen them to be by my side; and I ensured that it remained that way, despite some of the member’s less that enthusiastic attitudes about having three teenagers holding so much power. Truth be told, I didn’t feel any different than I had the day before Grams transitioned all of her knowledge and “power” to me. Ben assured me that I had to remain invested in my studies because there would be a time where my powers would be questioned and tested. I wondered at this point in time if that would come from the enemy shifters, from someone or something else, or from within the coven or Council itself.
I had began to have some of the weirdest, most vivid dreams. I had not mentioned them to anyone yet. It seemed that everything I said and did was analyzed and reviewed to death; and frankly, I was tired of it. The only person I felt like confiding in about it, I didn’t dare. Sean had been in several of my dreams lately. I did not want him to read anything more into it than just what it was—a dream. Most of the dreams took place in the woods. I was being followed and watched in the dream and always awoke with so much anxiety that it often took the better part of the day for it to totally wear off.
One afternoon when my session with Ben had ended, I told him that I planned to wander around the library just to look at books. He studied me for a moment, but nodded and left me alone. I wandered the shelves randomly, rubbing my finger along the shelves as I went. In most of the dreams, it was a full moon. From what I learned from Grams, I did not fear this part of the dream. With the full moon comes love, protection, healing—all positive things. I skimmed over the titles and backs of several books. I stopped when my hand touched one. I felt…something. A pull, something drawing me to the book. I pulled it off the shelf and sat down on the floor where I was.
The book was tall and thick with symbols on the spine. There was no writing on the cover, front or back. I leaned back and rubbed my finger along the symbols. I had not seen them before, but they made sense to me. I opened the book to the first page. The Sayter family crest was prominently displayed in the middle of the page, with a sort of raised, wax seal imprint across it. Why was this here? Why was this not at home with Grams things?
I turned the page and read, “The Book of Shadows.” The subsequent pages held writings, some in ink, some in pencil. I read prayers, spells, rituals, and dreams. There was no rhyme or reason to the order that I could ascertain. Some seemed to be general observations; other, more personal reflections and comments. The penmanship changed throughout the book, and I understood that many had contributed to this collection.
I paused and skimmed down a page that described a dream.
“As if not alone in the woods, I travelled the path in a most hurried manner. My prayers to the Goddess were for protection and for the meaning of my journey to be revealed. The glow of the moon in it’s fullness increased my awareness of what was to come.”
Okay, reflecting on my dream, I could have written this. Merely a coincidence, Trina, I told myself. Until I read the next line.
Chapter Nineteen
“My calmness was only ensured by my ever-present companion, the golden wolf.”
Um, what? A golden wolf? Sean’s hair is golden, as was the fur we found. And he has been present in my dreams, as well. Sometimes he is in human form; sometimes in wolf form. I flipped back and forth in the book. This was written some time ago. It was obvious from the pages and the ink used. That entry ended. I flipped ahead in the book, looking for the same writing or another dream listed.
I heard a door open and shut and came back into a sudden awareness of where I was. I wasn’t ready for anyone else to see this book yet. I don’t know why. But after all, it is mine, right? I slipped it into my backpack quickly and moved towards the sound I had heard.
“Ben? Is that you? I guess I sort of lost track of time.” I moved through the shelves of books as I called out to him. I heard no response. I stopped moving and briefly held my breath. Perhaps it was Ben, and he was leaving through the outer doors. Yes, that was probably what I had heard. I continued to move in that direction . A part of me wished that I had asked Sean to stay and wait for me; but instead, I had insisted he go on home without me after my session had ended.
I moved on, with the heavy book in my backpack. I was almost to the outer doors when the lights went out. I raced ahead and tried the handle. It was locked. Okay, rationale explanation, Trina. Ben or one of the other Council members merely thought everyone was gone and closed up for the night. I dug in my pocket for my cell phone.
Moving closer to the small window in the door, I scrolled to Ben’s number. As I pressed send, I heard a low growl behind me. I turned to face a small black wolf, pacing towards me. Dear Goddess, please answer the phone, Ben.
“Give us the phone, Trina. And the book.” The wolf’s human companion stepped from between the shelves closer to me. “Don’t be a stupid girl.” I could not see him in the darkness. I only knew that he was bigger and not alone.
“Take it,” I said and pitched the phone in the direction of the sound of his voice. To run from him, I had to run towards the wolf. Catching him off guard, I slammed the heavy backpack into the small wolf and sent him reeling back towards the door. I sprinted across the main part of the room and darted in and out of the shelves the best I could in the dark and scared to death.
I should have called Sean. I should have let Sean stay with me. I needed Sean.
I stopped and slid down low under one of the tables in a far back corner near the side door. I knew I would not be able to get out the side door. Ben had told me it had been sealed off years ago when they had expanded the library. I prayed silently to the Goddess for protection and for the ability to somehow hide my scent from what I suspected was now at least two wolves on my trail. I remembered the lavender in the bottle in my backpack. I had finished the water, but the dry leaves remained. I unscrewed the lid and poured the small bits into my hand. I crushed them and hoped the strong scent would throw off the wolves.
I heard the paces of their paws and stayed still in my hiding place. One of the wolves lifted his head and sniffed. I closed my eyes. I felt something cold and wet butting up against my hand. I opened my eyes to see the golden wolf next to me.
Chapter Twenty
Oh, thank the Goddess Sean hadn’t listened to me and gone home after all. I let my hand slide up his head and rubbed it through the thick golden fur. He gazed at me with the same dark eyes I had grown so accustomed to. He leaned forward and pushed at me with his head, first affectionately and then harder, as if to shove me further back into the corner behind the edge of a shelf and cabinet that backed up to the table I’d chosen to hide under. I nodded to him my understanding and made myself fit into the tiny space. He sort of softly whined at me and then darted out towards the two wolves.
I closed my eyes tightly and prayed. I said a prayer to the Goddess for protection for both Sean and me. My worry was now that the wolves would overpower him—after all, it was two to one. I opened my eyes and squinted into the darkness. I was amazed at how much bigger Sean looked in comparison to the other two smaller dark wolves. He stalked towards them, growling. The fur on his back was raised, and he was poised ready to attack. Just then, one wolf whined and darted off in the direction of the front door. The other wolf quickly followed, not even allowing one look back over his shoulder. I dared not move—what if it was a trick? I heard the splitting of wood and the door being broken down. An alarm went off, and I knew it wouldn’t be long before the Council’s guards would arrive.
I waited. Then Sean leaned under the table on his knees and extended his hand to me.
“We’ve got to get out of here. I don’t care to be naked when the guards arrive and try to explain that.” Sean held my backpack in front of him. I assumed his clothes didn’t survive the shift.
I giggled. “You shift and go back out how ever you came in. I’ll explain to the guards and Ben that I got locked in and attacked.”
“They will never believe that you escaped two wolves on your own,” he said.
“We’ll see. I can tell them I somehow tripped the alarm and frightened them or something. Get out of here, Sean! Hurry!” While I was enjoying the view, I watched with amazement as my backpack fell to the floor and in a whir of movement, Sean shifted from human to wolf form. His tongue lolled out of the side of his mouth as he darted off. And I never thought he’d looked more handsome.
Aye, dear Goddess! I slammed my hand into my head at my own thought. He truly was my protector. Grams had chosen him for me. Or perhaps fate had. According to the Sayter family Book of Shadows, I was not the only witch to have interactions with a golden wolf. I hoped that when Ben got here, he would not notice the book I was taking home. I had to read more of it to figure out what this all meant.
“Hello? Council security. Come into the light. Are you okay, miss?”
I was relieved to see the two security guards. Ben came up quickly behind them.
“My word, Trina. Are you alright?” Ben asked. “What happened? I thought you’d left long ago.” He rushed towards me in a hug. I finally let the fear and adrenaline take over. I felt weak and shaky as he guided me to a chair.
“Can you tell us what happened, Miss Sayter?” asked one of the guards.
I nodded and asked for a glass of water first. I needed a moment to collect my thoughts and come up with a story that sounded half way believable, after all. For my safety—and Sean’s, I thought—I wasn’t ready to share yet anything about a golden wolf to Ben. Had he read that book? If so, why hadn’t he shared it with me?
Chapter Twenty-One
Ben called Sean to come pick me up, knowing that I was still somewhat flustered by what had happened. I watched from a distance as he appeared to scold Sean for leaving my side, even though I had instructed him to do so. I felt bad that Sean was being yelled at for something he, in fact, had not done.
Ben lifted my backpack off the ground and handed it me. “Good Goddess, Trina. What on earth do you have in there? Bricks?”
I hurriedly took the pack from him before he got too curious and opened it. “Oh, you know, the usual—Geometry book, history book. I think they get bigger and heavier every year.” I quickly set the backpack in Sean’s car, away from Ben. I couldn’t explain my sense of protection and privacy over this book, but I knew it was what I needed to do right now.
After a promise from Ben not to call my mother and worry her, Sean and I took off towards home. Ben promised he would call me if they got any leads on who the wolves were or what they might have wanted from me.
“So, Trina,” asked Sean. “What’s really in the backpack?”
“What do you mean?” I asked him innocently.
“Look, I haven’t seen you crack open a textbook, much less carry one, in the last several months. So fess up, chickie. What did you take from the Council’s library?”
I looked at Sean with what I hoped was enough feigned hurt feelings that it was believable. Hmmm, apparently not.
“Look, I found a book in there with my family crest. Why would that be there and not with Gram’s things? And why would Ben keep it from me? Is there something I’m not supposed to know or what? And seriously, chickie? Really?” I chuckled.
“Maybe Ben didn’t know about the book either. Have you thought of that possibility?”
“Well, what concerns me is that the guys that attacked me in the library knew about it. They told me to hand it over. So whatever is in there must be important.”
“Trina, I’m sure Ben needed to know that.” Sean sighed in frustration.
“I’m not ready to share that with him yet. Okay, Sean? Please trust me on this and give me some time to read it and examine it further. That’s all I ask. Then we can tell him about it if you still think I should. Besides, at some point I think I’ll be ready to confront him about why he hasn’t shared it before now.”
Sean shrugged. “Don’t be too hasty and jump to conclusions. That’s all I ask.”
I nodded and settled into the seat. We were almost to the house. I was ready for a shower and my bed. Sean opened my car door for me. I must have dozed off because I hadn’t even realized the car had stopped. I got out and leaned into him. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him hard.
“Thank you, Sean. I knew you wouldn’t leave me.”
Sean nodded in return but said nothing. I could see that he was fighting his feelings or instincts or whatever by controlling his reaction to me.
“I left you a sort of belated birthday gift in your room,” Sean said as we stepped inside the house. “I wanted you to know I didn’t forget. I just knew you weren’t ready before. I hope you like it.” He smiled at me and my heart fluttered for a second.
Chapter Twenty-Two
I raced up the stairs, anxious to see what the gift was. A bracelet? A necklace? Naw, too romantic probably. Although that would be fine by me now. Maybe a new journal or a book. He knew I was always reading or writing. I opened the door and shut it behind me. This was a private moment. My first real birthday gift from a boy that I knew liked me, maybe more. I scanned the room for a gift-wrapped box. Nothing. Maybe a small gift bag. No. I leaned against the bed and looked under. Perhaps there had been a draft and the gift had fallen to the floor. Nope, nothing.
I sunk onto my bed, slightly disappointed. I leaned back against the pillows, somewhat confused. I was missing it, whatever it was. Just then I heard
a muffled mew from behind the pillows I was leaning against. I sat up, startled, and waited. A tiny, furry solid black kitten with large green eyes walked out. She stretched, yawned, then sat down and looked at me. I laughed out loud. She meowed at me then walked up onto my chest, purring and waiting for me to pet her.
“Well, she seems to like you alright.” I heard Sean’s voice from the doorway. He opened the door a crack. “Sorry, couldn’t help it. I wanted to see what you thought. I did a little research a learned that every good witch needs a familiar.”
“Way to go with the stereotypical black cat for the witch. Cute touch. But thanks so much, Sean. She is adorable.”
“Actually, I wasn’t shooting for stereotypical—she was just the last kitten at the shelter that hadn’t been adopted yet. I felt sorry for her. Wish I could say the same about how she felt about me.” Sean held out his hands and arms. Tiny claw marks, scratches, and bites covered them. He chuckled, “Yeah, it’s true, I guess. Cats and dogs are not friends, after all.”
“Oh, you poor baby!” I shrieked.
“Ah, I’ll be okay,” said Sean, slightly amused.
“Not you, you big dufus!” I snatched up the little ball of fur. “This poor little one. She must have been so confused and frightened. It’s okay now, little one. I’ve got you, B.B.”
“B.B.?” Sean asked. “What’s that stand for? I actually wasn’t thinking of something so nice, myself.”
“Sean, shame on you. I’m sure you confused her with your scent.” I laughed as she hissed at him now. “But I do appreciate the trouble you went to for me. It’s sweet. And B.B. is for Black Beauty.”
“Huh, I guess that will work.” Sean stepped towards the door to leave the room. “I’m just glad that you like her.” He placed his hand on the doorknob.
I set the kitten on the bed and, despite her mewing protests, walked over to Sean. I pushed the door shut, which seemed to both confuse and startle him.
“Thank you, seriously,” I said, and wrapped my arms around him once again. This was starting to become a habit. I tilted my head back and looked up at him. That was all the encouragement he needed. This time when he kissed me, I kissed him back. For a few moments I felt that we were both floating until my ringing cell phone snapped me back into awareness. I reached for it, hit the green button, and the speaker phone. I wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet.