Finding Forever

by Amanda J. Evans

  My parents arrived unharmed and booked into a hotel nearby. They tried to get me to leave, have a shower, get cleaned up, but I refused. No one was taking me away from Liz ever again.

  The nurses insisted I eat and drink or they were going to have me removed from the hospital. This was the only thing I agreed to.

  The days passed and still no change. The constant beeping of machines my only companion as I sat and recounted all our precious memories. They say coma patients can hear you talking to them. I hope it’s true.

  LIZ

  A beeping noise invaded the darkness and I felt someone holding my hand. I tried to move but my body wasn’t responding. I was trapped in the darkness, alone, and frightened. The beeping noise was getting louder and I couldn’t shut it out. My body felt heavy and I tried again to move, but it was like I was frozen. The darkness took my senses away again and there was nothing.

  This happened over and over again. A few moments of sound, muffled voices, and always a hand holding mine, stroking it gently.

  I heard it again, the beeping noise. It vibrated through me. There was a hand in mine again. I heard a voice. I heard talking, but it wasn’t clear. I tried to think, tried to focus, but it was too hard. Then I heard it again.

  “It’s Charles, you need to wake up baby, you need to come back to me.”

  The mention of his name helped to clear the dark fog and I tried to move once more. My fingers twitched and I heard a gasp.

  “Liz, Liz, wake up baby. It’s me, Charles.”

  I tried to open my eyes, to move, but nothing was happening. I started to panic. I heard beeping, it was faster this time. Something was wrong. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t see. I tried to move my lips to call out his name but I was paralyzed.

  “Liz, I’m here baby.”

  Charles sounded like he was in so much pain. What had I done? Why was I trapped in this darkness? The beeping was getting louder and I heard him shouting.

  “She’s waking up. She’s waking up.”

  “I’m not. I can’t,” I shouted back in my head.

  My sense of hearing was overwhelming. It was like someone turned up the volume whilst turning all my other senses off. I heard doors opening, feet rushing across the floor, but I was still in the dark.

  “It’s okay Liz. I’m here,” Charles said squeezing my hand.

  I felt it. It was the only thing keeping me calm. I moved my fingers again. They were reacting to his touch and squeezing back.

  “Can you open your eyes baby?”

  I tried, but it was useless, nothing was working. What happened to me? Memories of a monster and a gun began to flash through my mind and I felt my body react with the shock.

  Oh, my god, I’d been shot. I remembered the agonizing pain as the bullet forced its way through my stomach. I remembered Charles pleading with me not to die and the realization that my father had been wrong. He’d lied.

  “Don’t worry Mr. Parker, this can take some time. She’ll come around when she’s ready. All the signs are positive.”

  I didn’t recognize the voice that spoke but I felt Charles relax. His fingers started stroking the back of my hand, moving up along my arm. He had such soft skin. I always wondered how he kept his hands so soft especially when he spent so much time sailing. Memories of our life together began to float through my mind as sleep took hold.

  There was silence when I woke. Charles’ hand was still in mine. It wasn’t moving. I moved my fingers checking if they were still working. It didn’t take as much effort this time. The darkness had lifted too and for the first time, I could see light behind my eyelids. I felt my breath going in and out of my body and I relaxed. I was really here this time.

  My eyes fluttered open, a fraction at a time as the bright light assaulted them. I let them adjust before looking around. My gaze landed on Charles. He was asleep in the chair beside my bed. His eyes were puffy, his face gray. He looked so tired. His hair was a mess and dark waves hung over his forehead. I swallowed hard, my throat was so dry. I needed water. I squeezed Charles’ hand again as I tried to say his name. My voice didn’t come out. A dry croak was all I could manage. I watched Charles’ eyelids peel back and his gaze find mine.

  “Liz, oh Liz, you came back to me.”

  Tears filled his eyes as he leaned forward and his hands cupped my face.

  “I thought I’d lost you.”

  I tried to speak again but the pain in my throat was too much.

  “Don’t move, I’ll get the doctor.”

  He pressed a small button on the side of my bed and a nurse came flying into the room.

  “She’s awake,” Charles said.

  “That’s wonderful, Mr. Parker. I’ll just get the doctor.”

  She looked at me and smiled before she left.

  I looked at the man gazing down at me, my man, my Charles. He was alive. I felt the tears flow down my cheeks.

  “Don’t cry love, you’ll be fine. We’ll be fine. We’re together again and no one will ever separate us,” he said, his tears falling too.

  The nurse arrived back with the doctor. He moved closer to my bed a smile on his face too. He pulled out a light pointing it into my eyes and asking me to follow it. He checked my temperature, took my blood pressure, and wrote things on a clipboard. My eyes never left Charles.

  “Are you in any pain?” the doctor asked.

  I pointed to my throat. I needed water.

  “Ah yes,” he said. “You’ll have a sore throat for a few days. We had to place you on a ventilator to help you breathe.”

  He turned to the nurse. “Can you get Mrs. Parker some water please?”

  Mrs. Parker. It was the first time I’d heard myself called that with Charles sitting beside me. I smiled. The nurse handed Charles a beaker of water and a straw.

  “Small sips only,” she said.

  The water felt like heaven. I was so thirsty. The doctor explained that I’d been shot but no permanent damage had been caused. He said a lot more but my mind drifted and sleep took over. Charles’ voice was the last thing I heard.

  “Sleep my love, I’ll be right here. You’re not alone.”

  I woke to a sight I would never tire of, my Charles. He was asleep and I took my time taking in how handsome the man before me was. He must have felt my stare because his eyes opened and the biggest smile I’d ever seen spread across his face.

  “Hey you,” I smiled.

  “Hey yourself, how you feeling today?”

  “I’m okay,” I said. “What happened?”

  Charles took a deep breath. I knew this was painful for him but I had to know. He nodded his understanding and cleared his throat.

  “After you were shot and you fell into my arms John knocked that monster to the ground. The police heard the gunshot and barged into the cabin moments later. They rushed you here and you had to have emergency surgery. Everything’s okay though, there was no permanent damage. They placed you in this room on a ventilator to give your body time to recover and I haven’t left your side since.”

  “I’m sorry,” I blurted out as my eyes filled with tears.

  “God no Liz. I’m sorry. This was all my fault. He was after me.”

  I stared at Charles confused.

  He took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Five years ago I helped a young girl. She’d broken into my apartment. She was a drug addict and I helped her to get clean, start a new life. If I hadn’t done that, none of this would have happened. It’s all my fault you got shot, Liz. It’s my fault you almost died,” he said placing his head in his hands.

  “Charles you did a good thing helping that girl.”

  “No Liz, I didn’t. I may have helped her but I didn’t save her. He found her, tortured her for years, made people think she was crazy, and then he killed her.”

  I gasped. “What do you mean?”

  “He told me during the whole kidnapping ordeal. He told me I’d taken everything from him and he would make me pay. He said I would know what
it was like to have everyone I love taken from me, that I would know the greatest despair. He almost succeeded Liz, he had my parents and he told me he’d killed you, left you dead on the beach.”

  “But he didn’t,” I said smiling. “He didn’t win Charles.” I cleared my throat, I needed to know everything. “This girl,” I said looking deep into his eyes. “Who was she?”

  “Her name was Susan. She got away from him but he found her. He tormented her made her think she was going mad. In the end, he gave her a choice him or death. He planned to kill her if she didn’t go back to him. She chose death and jumped off a building.”

  “Susan,” I muttered my brain processing all the information. “Oh my God, John,” I shouted. “John’s sister Susan.”

  Charles nodded lowering his eyes in shame.

  “Where is he?” I asked.

  “He’s here. He hasn’t left either.”

  “I’d like to see him, thank him,” I said.

  “I’ll get him,” Charles said rising from the chair. “He’s been waiting.”

  Moments later John appeared at my door.

  “Hey Liz, how you feeling?”

  “John, I’m so sorry.” My tears were spilling out over my cheeks now as I thought of the pain he must be going through. The guilt he felt over his sister. Did he know the truth now?

  He walked towards me and took my hand. “You have nothing to be sorry about you hear. If it wasn’t for you I would never have found out what happened to Susan. Now I know,” he swallowed. “I promised her I’d find out what happened. I promised her I wouldn’t rest until I did. Now I know. Now I know why.”

  He lowered his head and I knew he was thinking about her. I knew he was angry that he didn’t believe her and had her committed. I squeezed his hand hoping to give him some comfort.

  “She understood John, and you did a good thing, you protected her from him while she was in the hospital. It wasn’t your fault.”

  “I know that now and she can finally rest in peace knowing the truth has finally been uncovered.”

  I looked up at him, the towering strength above me. Without him, I would have died on that beach thinking Charles was dead too.

  “Thank you,” I said

  He didn’t need to say anything. The look we shared said it all. He smiled and looked at Charles. “You keep her safe, she’s one hell of a lady.”

  Charles smiled. “You can bet your life I will.”

  John turned back to me. “You take care now, and if you ever need anything you just call.”

  I swallowed the sobs threatening to escape. “Where are you going now?”

  “I’ve got a pirate show to complete,” he winked.

  I laughed for the first time in what seemed like forever. Charles stood and they both shook hands.

  “You keep in touch,” Charles said. “And if you ever need anything, you just let us know.”

  John left and I felt a peace settle over my hospital room. Charles sat beside me and we just gazed at each other.

  “What happened to the man that shot me? Who was he?”

  “His name was Dominic Burns and he won’t be bothering us again love. The police took him away and he’ll be serving a long time believe me. It’s not just the kidnapping and attempted murder changes, they have him for the torment he put Susan through, as well as being the cause of her death.”

  I looked down. I still couldn’t believe this was all over.

  “You don’t need to worry about anything. You’re safe now and I’ll never let anything happen to you.”

  I moved my gaze to his and smiled. I knew he meant it.

  “Liz?”

  “hmmm.”

  “What did you mean when you said, he was wrong, you know just before you passed out in my arms?”

  My eyes dropped to the bed. “My father,” I swallowed. “He always told me I’d die alone, that without him I was nothing.”

  I looked back up at Charles, my eyes meeting his. I wanted to see what he was thinking before I continued. “He was wrong, he lied. You were with me. I was never alone.”

  “I’ll never leave you, Liz. You are my strength. You are my life and you are the strongest person I’ve ever known. Your father and what he did to you,” he stopped. “We’ll deal with that when you’re ready.”

  Charles lowered his head to mine and we sat nose to nose, eyes to eyes, feeling the love between us before he let his lips slowly caress mine.

  “I love you,” he whispered. “Thank you for rescuing me.”

  “I love you too, you not only rescued me, you brought me back to life.”

  His lips brushed against mine and his arms wrapped firmly around my body pulling me closer to him. He was never going to let me go. I smiled and deepened the kiss letting my tongue sweep across his bottom lip, begging for entrance. He obliged and my tongue thrust inside his mouth craving the connection that has been broken by that mad man. I needed to taste him, to feel him with every part of my being. I wanted him to know that I was his. His soft moan told me he understood. I knew in that moment that I was truly alive and the demons from my past would never hold me back again. I was Liz Parker and I was ready to live my life with the man I loved and the man I knew loved me. I’d found my forever.

  EPILOGUE - JOHN

  I’d avoided the city like the plague for the past two years, lived my life under a dark cloud of guilt, and now I didn’t know what to do. When the approval came for my pirates’ documentary/reality show I’d been apprehensive. If I accepted it meant stepping back into the past and I wasn’t sure if I was ready to face that cruel torment.

  Susan was my younger sister. It was my job to look out for her and keep her safe. I hadn’t done a very good job and when the police told me she killed herself I shut myself off from the world. My baby sister had pleaded with me to save her from the monster she said was chasing her, but I didn’t believe her, no one did. The doctors insisted it was all in her head, remnants of her drug abuse. They said she was unstable and a danger to herself. I agreed and had her committed. She thanked me, said she was safe. I thought she was fine, the medication and the counselling had worked. Two weeks out of hospital and she plunged six stories to the ground. It was my fault. I should have listened to her. I should have believed her. I failed her.

  Stepping back into the city, into the place of my nightmares was harder than I thought, but I’d worked so hard to get the funding for my show. If I turned it down now, I’d never get it again.

  Strange how fate works isn’t it? I’d promised Susan I’d find the truth and now that I had I didn’t know what to do with it. Liz reminded me so much of her. The determination and the strength of her conviction. She was adamant Charles’ body was on that beach. No one believed her, the doctors looked at her with that same look, the pity that leaks out of them. Mental illness is a curse no one should have to face, but when she looked at me and pleaded for my help, I saw my baby sister and in that moment, I couldn’t say no. In that moment, I swore that I wouldn’t make the same mistake again, and I didn’t.

  I’d kept my promise to Susan. I’d found out what really happened to her and now Dominic Burns would pay. He’d pay for taking my sister’s life.

  Just thinking about that sorry excuse for a human being had me clenching my fists and I smiled knowing I’d knocked the smirk off his face. It had felt good to feel my fist crush his nose, that cracking sound of bone breaking was pure heaven to my ears.

  “That one’s for you sis,” I’d whispered as I drew back for another punch.

  I hadn’t known the full truth then, not like I do now, but my instinct had been right. The way he’d said her name, the way he’d gloried in giving her a choice. What fucking choice, death or him? Susan hadn’t killed herself, she’d saved herself, and now it was my turn. I’d lived under this cloud of doom for two years and my sun was finally breaking through. For the first time in a long time I could feel the heat on my face and I welcomed it.

  As I pushed through the hospital
exit doors I took in a deep breath and smiled. The first real smile I’d smiled since the day I put Susan’s body in the ground. It was time to live, my time to live, and I planned on doing it to the full.

  The End

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I would like to thank all the amazing beta readers who read my story and provided the feedback required to complete the manuscript. Thank you all for your kind words and your excitement for this book. To Lee from Under Cover Designs: Book Cover, my amazing cover designer, thank you for your wonderful book cover. To Lynda Kirby, my good friend and editor, thank you for all your help during the editing phase. To Caroline Connolly, Audrey Hayes and Maria B Bourke, thank you for your friendship and encouragement and your comments on my story. This wouldn’t have happened without you all.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  I am a freelance writer, poet, and author. I live in Co. Meath, Ireland with my husband and two children. I am known locally by my married name, Donnelly, but I write under my maiden name of Evans. I have been published in a number of magazines and journals in 2016. I am also the author of Surviving Suicide: A Memoir from Those Death Left Behind, published in 2012. When I’m not writing for work clients, I am usually reading the latest novels from some of the amazing indie authors out there, or sharing snippets from my latest manuscripts with my husband and children.

  I’ve always loved writing. My passion began at a very young age and I wrote my first book at the age of 9. Writing this full-length novella is my first step into the fiction publishing world and while I’m nervous, I’m also very excited. This has been my dream for so long and to finally have the courage to pen stories and publish them is something I always wanted to do. Finding Forever began as a prompt from my writers’ group. Our prompt was “pirates” and I wrote the first 1,000 words ending where Liz finds herself on the pirate ship. It sat idle on my laptop for almost a year before I picked it up again. I was doing a page a day challenge and decided that for the month I would work on finishing some of the pieces in my “to be completed” file on my computer. Little did I know when I picked up my pen to work on this that it would turn into a novella. The twists and turns that Finding Forever takes were a total surprise to me. I hadn’t planned the story. I hadn’t even thought it was going to be any more than a short story. The moment when I wrote about cameras, I knew something wonderful was about to happen. When I write, I allow the characters to tell me their story. I don’t plan things out. I just let the story tell itself. I am so pleased with the initial beta reader response to this story and that is what encouraged me to publish it.