And I realized, I really had no place in his world. I couldn't fight with them. Couldn't help protect them. I couldn't do anything for the bears.
“Rose! What are you –” a worried look crossed his face as he took off running toward me.
Mariana stayed behind, her face covered in blood. But she gave me a nod and a small smile as if to signal that everything was okay between us. I returned her nod to acknowledge her – and felt a wave of relief pass through me. I realized that I would never have to fear Mariana again. We might never be best friends, but I wasn't going to have to worry about her sticking a knife in my back anytime soon.
“Is it all over?” I asked, feeling the tears building in my eyes.
I didn't know why I was crying – my dear Asher was safe. I was safe. But seeing him walking with Mariana reminded me of my own weaknesses and limitations as a human. And it killed me to know I could never be a fighter like the two of them. That I could never truly be a part of their world. I would forever be that outsider looking in.
“It is,” he said, kissing me and holding me close. “It is, baby. None of them are left, which is also bad because we have no answers. No idea who they are.”
“Which means they might come back?”
“Probably so,” he said.
At that point, Mariana joined us. She gave me an awkward smile as she passed by and took up a spot in our impromptu little circle.
“Thank you,” I said to her.
“No, thank you,” she said.
“What does she mean?” Asher asked.
“I'll tell you later.”
I felt exhausted and defeated. In that moment, I wanted to go home and cry. I'd lost my aunt, and I'd realized that even though Asher and I loved each other, we probably weren't as good a couple as he and Mariana would be. Their union made sense. It benefitted each clan. Him being with me offered him no perks and no benefits. It was over. Truly over. And I had to learn to accept it.
“What's wrong, Rose?” Asher asked, staring deep into my eyes.
“Nothing. I just want to go home, that's all,” I said. “Not that I really have a home anymore, that is.”
“Come with me,” he said, taking my hand in his.
We walked back toward the car in silence. As we walked past Mariana, I saw that she was busy taking care of one of her wounded. She looked up at me and smiled – a truly warm and genuine smile.
Be good to her,” she told Asher. “You have yourself a good one.”
“I know,” he said, raising my hand to his lips and giving it a gentle kiss. “Trust me, I know.”
Chapter Sixteen
Asher
I was still troubled by the attempt to ignite a war between the clans. I still didn't know who was behind it or what their goal was. The only thing I knew for certain was that the Sheriff was somehow involved, but until I had some concrete evidence of what was going on behind the scenes – and with whom – I knew I couldn't move on him. His time was going to come, but I needed some solid intel first. The war had been averted, but just barely. Somebody had to pay for that. And they would.
I could tell something was wrong with Rose, but considering all that she'd been through, I couldn't really blame her. As soon as we got to the car and climbed inside though, she burst into tears.
“Shhh, it's going to be okay,” I said, pulling her close to me.
“No, Asher, it's not,” she said. “How can it ever be okay? Look at me. I'm weak. I couldn't even defend myself earlier. And I had the advantage. If it hadn't been for Mariana, I'd be –”
“Stop it,” I said. “You're not like us, Rose. That much is true. But I love you because you're different. Because you're nothing like them.”
“But we can't be together,” she said, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “Because we're different. Let's face it, your clan needs someone strong. Someone like Mariana. Not a pathetic human who can't do anything when the chips are down.”
“You're anything but weak, Rose,” I said. “You're the strongest woman I know.”
“I'm nothing compared to Mariana,” I said.
I lifted her chin so I was now looking into her eyes. I held her gaze for a long moment so she knew to listen to what I was saying. So she knew I was serious.
“I don't want Mariana. I want you,” I said. “And strength is more than just being able to battle. We're not mortal like you are, Rose. It's not weak to be mortal. It's not weak to be human. You have an inner strength that rivals anyone I've met – including Mariana.”
“Really?” she asked, as if she didn't believe me.
“Really. You heard her back there,” I said. “Even Mariana agrees that you and I are better together than she and I would have been. And for her to admit that? You impressed her. I don't know what you did, but you impressed the hell out of her. Mariana is not the type who hands out compliments. Like ever.”
That made her smile a little bit. “I was just in the right place at the right time,” she said.
“Nah, it was more than that,” I said. “And I want to hear all about it. But for now, we need to get you somewhere safe and comfortable. You need to rest.”
I drove out to our cabin, where my father was waiting. He'd heard about what happened, and was prepared to defend our property if needed. He was standing on the front porch, but had many of our guys stationed outside as we pulled up. The tension in the air was thicker than the smoke from a forest fire. Everybody was amped up, ready for a fight. But there was no fight to be had. At least, not at the moment. It was over and we were all safe.
The minute he saw Rose getting out of the car though, he tried to pick a fight with me about it.
“No, we're not having this argument right now,” I said, ushering her inside.
We pushed past the wall of bears and into the cabin. Once inside, I took her to my room and we settled into my bed. She curled up next to me, and I comforted her the best I could. We just laid together, her head resting on my chest as I stroked her hair gently. She seemed content enough, but I could hear her wheels spinning. I knew she was still consumed with her thoughts. And knowing her like I did, I just knew she was listing off reasons she wasn't worthy of me. When in truth, it should have been the other way around.
“I just hate that I'm so weak,” she said.
Deep down, I knew there was something I could do. Something that might help her. If she really wanted to, she could become one of us. It was often frowned upon to turn humans, but mainly because we wanted to keep the bloodlines pure. It was stupid, outdated bullshit if you asked me. But the means were there for her to shed her human skin and become what she wanted to be – strong. All she had to do was take it.
“What if I said you could be like me?” I asked, giving her a serious look.
“Could I?” Her eyes lit up as she stared back at me. I saw something in those eyes – a sense of hope I hadn't seen from her in some time. “I mean, would you?”
I nodded. “I'll have some work to do behind the scenes, but if you want to--”
“I do, Asher,” she said.
“Okay, let me see what I can do then.”
~ooo000ooo~
The attack on our cabin never came. I credited it with taking too many of their side out over at the N'gasso cabin. The attackers, whoever they were, would need to regroup before they came after us again. And now, they didn't even have the element of surprise.
With Rose still upstairs in my room, sleeping off the day, I approached my father. I knew I wasn't going to be able to avoid him forever and that eventually, I'd have to face his wrath. It was what it was. But I wasn't going to let him bully me or push me around. Especially when it came to Rose. If he wanted me to take his place on the throne, he was going to agree to some accommodations.
“We need to talk,” I said.
“I heard about you helping the N'gasso today, son,” my dad said, scratching his beard. “That's not something they'll likely forget. You did a lot of good out there today.”
“No, it's not somet
hing they'll forget,” I said. “And I believe we might actually be able to work with them again – without me having to marry Mariana. She's eternally grateful for my help. And she's smart enough to realize we're never going to get anywhere against our enemies unless we work together.”
“There's not much of the N'gasso left, I'm afraid,” he said. “Last I heard, her entire family line was wiped out and they're no longer as strong as they once were. The attack on their sacred lands did a number on them.”
I nodded. “Which might mean we should consider working with them,” I said.
My father looked shocked, almost offended that I would dare suggest such a thing. He opened his mouth to speak, but I raised my hand to cut him off. I wanted him to listen to me for a change.
“Hear me out,” I said. “We need some new bloodlines in our clan. If we don't, eventually, we are going start to inbreed if we're not careful with our matching. We need new blood, and we could combine assets. Mariana was the only one of her family left alive. The only one not to be killed in the attack. Which means she will need help with the family businesses if she wants to survive.”
“I'm just not sure she'd go for that. Not without a marriage.”
“I think so now,” I said. “But I'd have to talk to her, obviously. We haven't discussed the details yet, but it's worth bringing up. We're on friendly terms once more.”
“Great. Sounds like you've taken care of everything,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “Which brings me to my next topic – if this attack and all the drama surrounding it has showed me anything, it's that I'm ready to Walk, son. This is a young man's game and I'm obviously no young man. You were born for this. You have a head for the political games and a sense of peace and calm that allows you to think clearly when needed. I no longer have those things. Though, truth be told, I never had much of a head or the patience for the political games.”
My heart dropped into my stomach as he spoke. “No, you're not ready for that yet –”
“Yes, yes I am,” he said, a gentle smile touching his lips. “But most importantly, you're ready to take over now. I trust you to lead the clan in the right direction. To lead us to better days. To help the Q'lapa flourish. And I know that my time has come to an end. The ceremony will be this evening. And afterward, you will become Chief of the Q'lapa. It is your time to rule, son. And I know that you will rule well.”
The moment was bittersweet. I'd always wanted to ascend to the throne. To become a Chief. But the idea of having to lose my father in order to make that happen tore me apart. At the end of the day though, it was his choice. I couldn't stop him. Taking the Walk was a personal decision and not one anybody could object to. No one could stop a bear once they were ready to Walk.
Chapter Seventeen
The Walking Ceremony was fairly simple. Always had been. It's a time to celebrate the life of a clan-mate and to say our goodbyes. In my case, it was all of that, but also the passing of the throne from my father to me. As hard as it was to even contemplate, let alone see playing out in front of me, I knew my father would find happiness in the next part of his life. That is the only slice of comfort I could find in all of it. Every bear looked forward to retirement one day, when we'd be free from our human bodies and be allowed to live completely in nature, until the day we died.
It was a fitting end for most of us – the desired conclusion to our lives – and for my father, it was no different. The Walking Ceremony was a celebration. A celebration of their life and everything they did for the clan. But for me, it was acutely bittersweet. It was, after all, my father making the Walk.
He placed the wooden crown upon my head, officially naming me Chief of the clan. And as he did so, my clan shifted into bear form and roared their welcomes to me, accepting me as their Chief.
I hugged my father, tears fresh in my eyes, as we whispered our goodbyes. He joined the others in bear form, but in his case, it was now his permanent form. There'd be no more shifting back. His human form was dead and gone. And now, there was only the bear.
The others said their goodbyes, nuzzling against him as he walked into the forests. I stood there, on the dais, and watched my father disappear into the woods. Forever.
I was the Chief of the Q'lapa. And as the Chief, I already had some changes that I wanted to make. When the clan turned back to me, I called for them to shift back into their human forms. When everybody was settled and all eyes were focused on me, I began to speak.
“From this day forward,” I announced, “we no longer prohibit any bear from taking a human bride. With one caveat, however – if a bear decides to take a human as their spouse, the spouse must become a bear as well. This is for all of our benefits – for one thing, it allows our numbers to grow – which after the massacre of the N'gasso, highlights the necessity of replenishing our clan. Truth be told, our numbers have never been lower. It'll also keep us from inbreeding, which would become a problem before long if we remained pure.”
There was some noise amongst my people, but for the most part, what I said would become law of the land. They trusted me and were willing to follow where I led. Nothing I said to them was a lie, either. These were legitimate problems we were facing. We truly were dwindling in numbers. If we didn't make changes and find ways to replenish our community, there would come a day when we'd all go extinct. The approach I was ordering would make sure we kept our clan around for many, many years to come, to keep protecting Black Salmon Falls.
“And as Chief, I would like to introduce you all to Rose, who will become one of us in a ceremony this evening,” I said. “And from there, she is to be my betrothed.”
There was more buzzing and chattering amongst the crowd, as people talked to one another, absorbing everything I'd said. It was a lot to take in, there was no question. Five minutes on the throne and I was already making substantive changes to our traditions and culture. But I believed in my heart that they were changes for the better. Changes that would make us better.
“What about Mariana?” Shane asked me – always the one to argue.
“The N'gasso are not a threat to us at this time,” I said. “Mariana and I have agreed to part ways relationship-wise on friendly terms, and we will remain close with her clan, helping them through this hard time in their lives, and perhaps sharing resources in the process.”
This seemed to calm everyone down, as I thought it would.
Rose came forward after exiting the cabin and heading toward the dais I was on. She was wearing a fur made from bear skin – the skin was of one of our elders who'd passed away naturally many years ago. Covered in the fur, she walked amongst my people and joined me at the front. She looked nervous and I could see fear in her eyes – not that I really blamed her for it. But she stood strong, in front of my clan. She lifted her chin high, as if daring anybody to question her worthiness to be my bride. To be their queen. Once she took my essence into her – my clan's essence – she'd no longer have as much to be afraid of.
“Ready?” I asked, reaching for her hand.
She nodded. “Ready as I ever will be,” I said.
The public part of the ceremony involved her being welcomed into the clan by two witnesses. Three others would have to step forward and offer her their blood. I was one of them, so I just needed two others to volunteer. And I just hoped that I would have them. I didn't think everybody would be on board with the changes I was making. I just hoped enough of them were that it would be okay.
“We need two more members for the bloodletting ceremony,” I asked. “Do I have any volunteers?”
“I volunteer,” called a young woman near the front of the group.
“I'd be honored,” a voice called out from the back of the crowd.
A familiar face appeared as my best friend, Cameron, came forward. Cocky and arrogant, as always, he smirked at me as he walked to the front. The young woman fell into place near me. But my eyes were focused on my best friend – a best friend who was supposed to be sitting in jail becaus
e he'd tried to commit a murder. Allegedly. How had he gotten out?
“Cameron, how did you –”
“It's a long story, but for now, let's get your girlfriend initiated,” he said with a wink.
I handed him the dagger and he cut into his wrist with nary a flinch. The girl followed suit, and then she handed the dagger back to me, and I did the same. I held a cup under our bleeding wrists and glanced at the moon, which happened to be full. Not that it needed to be, that was merely a myth. But I felt it was symbolic and special. The three of us held our wrists over the chalice, letting our blood mingle together.
Poor Rose looked like she might be sick as I held the chalice to her lips. “You only need a sip,” I said calmly.
She nodded her head and drank from the chalice, taking the blood down into her. That alone wouldn't be enough to make her a bear, it just made her strong enough to heal from what was about to happen next – the good part of the ceremony.
“Have fun, you two,” Cameron said as he stepped off the dais.
I picked her up and carried her inside the cabin, which was to be our home now. I could hear the raised voices and shouts of joy begin outside as the party got started. The Ceremony was meant to be a celebration – and if there was one thing to know about bear culture, it was that we loved our celebrations.
I carried Rose up the stairs and into the master bedroom. Our new room. Kicking the door shut behind us, I laid her down on the massive bed gently. She stared up at me, looking slightly afraid of what was going to happen next.
“This might hurt,” I said. “But I promise you, I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure it doesn't and that you're comfortable.”
She nodded. “I trust you.”
I stripped her bare of the furs, laying her against them before I removed my clothing as well. Climbing on top of her body, I kissed her mouth, her neck, running my fingertips up and down her body, relishing in the feel of her soft skin.
Sex wasn't necessary, but it helped the pain a lot. It was a terrific distraction. And when you were going through the change, you wanted as much distraction from the pain that you could get. Which was why sex had evolved to become part of the Ceremony. If you could overwhelm somebody with a pleasure intense enough, it could make things better on them. It was why I chose that method when somebody was going through the change. And I never wanted to hurt Rose again, not for as long as I lived.
Rhani (Dragons of Kratak Book 3) Page 91