by Tiara James
You’re about to be punished and revealed as the person you truly are to the love of your life, my mind told me. Instinctively, I wanted to break down and cry. But I knew I had to think smart and cry later.
I shook my head and stood up. He wasn’t going to find out. I peaked out the window again at him and his partner, they looked as if they were trying to figure out how to get inside the building. Good, it was only those two in the front. So if they came in then I would have to run out of the door all the way down to the parking lot which was past the gate! I knew I could make it.
Where would I hide when they came in? I had to think fast. I looked at the drapes pushed to the side of the windows in the front office and immediately knew I had a hiding spot. I would wait until they were far enough into the building to make my escape. But first, I went and unlocked the front door and opened it slightly. I dashed back to my hiding spot behind the drapes in the front office and tried to keep control over my breath and the moving keys on my wrist as I waited. With every passing second, I wanted to die more and more.
After what felt like a lifetime, the front door opened all the way. I could see their shadows moving cautiously. My heart was pounding out of my damn chest! I breathed as calmly as I possibly could through my nose even though I wanted to be panting like a dog because I was so out of breath just from being scared! I could see the backs of their heads as they walked further into the building. I had to convince my legs that it wasn’t the right time to go yet. Ugh I was so terrified I wanted to curl up in a ball and wake up as if it was a bad dream! What would my parents do? I felt so alone!
“Should we separate?” David’s deep voice questioned. Oh my love’s voice sounded so hurt and lonely! No one else would’ve been able to detect the pain in his voice but I could because I noticed everything about that man.
“I’ll get upstairs,” his partner nodded and headed up the stairs.
David looked around and began walking toward the front office where I was.
I wanted to squeal and scream and run out! But as soon as he entered the office, my breathing, my everything had stopped. Oh I hadn’t seen him in so long and he looked so…sad. He didn’t look like himself. Sure, he was still the tall, well-built, hunk of a man that I fell in love with but his whole demeanor just screamed grief. I felt bad for my poor love; all I wanted to do was jump into his arms and kiss him and comfort him. I knew it was what he needed. But I didn’t know if he would ever look at me the same if he knew about my secret. Therefore, I kept quiet and as still as a statue as I watched him scan the room. It was as if I was watching him from another universe when I looked at him through the drapes…it almost felt as if I was watching him from the dead. The thought gave me chills. After having found nothing of interest in the office, David turned on his heel and went to join his partner on the second floor. As soon as he hit the top stair, I knew it was time.
Now! My mind screamed at me. And with that, a burst of adrenaline coursed through me in record time and I threw the drapes off of me, raced out the front office and bolted out of the front door! I wasn’t sure how I was full-on sprinting in my slingbacks but I knew I was praying I wouldn’t twist an ankle!
“Out there, someone just ran outta here!” I heard his partner yell. “Move, move, move!”
“Rookies, front of the building, follow, follow, follow!” David’s voice boomed.
They were chasing me – David was chasing me! I hadn’t expected to be seen leaving the building! No! I sped up faster and it felt as if I was going to trip over myself and fall on my face. Where was I going to go? I thought that maybe since neither of them saw my face I could run all the way into town and I could lose them in the crowd. But even I knew in that moment that running all the way to town was a stretch. The gate was in sight and partially open.
“Close it! Close it! Close it!” David yelled at security.
At his command, the gate made a loud buzzing noise and began closing slowly.
No! Where was I going to go? David couldn’t figure out it was me! He couldn’t know who I really was! If I could make it out of the gate before them then I would be safe. I pushed myself harder and harder but my body wouldn’t go any faster. With that realization, tears began to fall down my cheeks and I began lightly sobbing as I was running. Was this it? This is how David had to find me out?
Let it go, you can’t run forever. A divine voice said calmly in my head.
Immediately, in my heart I felt a release. When that happened, I realized I could control the situation no longer. All I could do was let things happen as they did. There was no way of getting away from them chasing me. There was no way I was getting out of David figuring out it was me and my family he was after. There was no way of me controlling how David felt after he found out the truth. It was all just out of my control, just like my whole life had been.
The gate was closed by the time I reached it. I slammed it with my hands and dropped my hands to my side and lowered my head, shaking it side to side. I began crying. When first meeting David, never would I have guessed that it was the way we would end up. Everything couldn’t have a happy ending.
“Put your hands up! Above your head, now!” David shouted at me.
“You heard him nigger gal, get your hands in the air!” His partner yelled in his southern accent.
I sobbed and did as I was told, still not facing them.
“Now turn around. Gon’ head and turn around I said!” His partner fussed.
Well, there was no turning back.
Slowly and heavily ashamed, I turned to face the love of my life as the person I truly was.
I’m forever so sorry David.
28. No
What!
No.
Just no!
My Eva-Marie?
There was no fucking way in hell!
29. Kill Me, Kill Me
Kill me, I pleaded with God.
The look on David’s face was enough to make me wish I had never met him so I didn’t have to see him look so betrayed. A part of me wished I could just keep this side of me hidden in a place where he could never find me out and he wouldn’t have to associate me with such horrible things. However, another part of me knew that I truly loved this man and felt like he deserved to know the truth because I couldn’t live with myself knowing that I had lied to him about something so major. Oh I was so confused! Though, there was no turning back now.
When he first saw me, his expression was a cross between shocked and especially hurt. His eyebrows had come together, his eyes grew sadder and concerned, and his mouth parted slightly as if he wanted to ask me what the hell was going on. He slowly shook his head and lowered his gun from aiming at me. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I faced him, never breaking eye contact.
“I’m sorry,” I mouthed. It was all I could manage in between his partner’s yelling.
He stood in shock, not saying anything.
“On your knees dammit!” His partner shouted at me.
I lowered myself to my knees with my hands up, still staring at David who was shocked into place. He hadn’t moved one bit!
“I should just take you out now,” His partner growled as he placed his gun on my temple.
“Please,” I pleaded. “I’m so sorry,” I cried, still looking at David.
“David gon’ and arrest her.” His partner commanded with his gun still on my head.
David made no moves. He was still staring at me with crazy eyes.
After David didn’t arrest me, his partner pulled my hair back so I was looking to the sky and cocked his gun. “Dammit David if you do not arrest this nigger gal I will blow her goddamn brains out!”
I didn’t panic, instead I let the tears silently fall down my cheeks as I stared at David with blank eyes wondering if that would be the best way to put us both out of our misery. It was clear David didn’t love me anymore. He didn’t want to save me. His unresponsiveness made it apparent he’d rather see me go.
Kill me, I pleaded i
n my head. Desperate to be out of the situation.
30. Win Some, Lose Some
It was as if from the moment I made eye contact with Eva-Marie, everything was moving in slow motion. Words couldn’t be processed, I couldn’t take my eyes off of hers, I couldn’t even move! Eva was who I’d been trying to track down this whole time? But I was in love with her! How could she be involved in such a dark business? Who was she working with? Nothing made sense at the moment!
“Dammit David, if you do not arrest this nigger gal I will blow her goddamn brains out!” I heard Clayton’s voice yell at me.
I broke my gaze from Eva-Marie’s eyes to Clayton. It was as if those words snapped me back into consciousness. “Put your gun down,” I said in a nearly inaudible voice.
“What?” Clayton looked at me, baffled.
“I said put your gun down!” I shouted and pushed his gun away from her head, pushing him away from her.
Clayton put his gun on his belt and shoved me back. “What the hell are you doin’, boy?”
“Just leave her alone! I’ll take care of it!” I hollered. I didn’t have a plan in my mind but all I knew that my first action was to get her out of the line of danger. Of course I was furious to know that she had been part of this…but she was still the love of my life. Was I supposed to let her die? Absolutely not, I was going to get to the bottom of it.
Clayton got in my face. “You’d better have a damn good reason ‘cause I oughta shoot her brains out right here, right now.”
I didn’t back down. “I said I’d take care of it.” I had to keep a strong hold on my temper or else I’d choke Clayton out…I didn’t want Eva seeing that. Thankfully, two rookies broke us up before anything happened.
I watched as one of the rookies put the hand cuffs on Eva-Marie and began walking her to the car. “I’ll see you at the station,” I grumbled to Clayton and caught up with the rookie. “I’ll take her.” I couldn’t look at her or else I would’ve been tempted to take the cuffs off of her, sit her down right there and demand to know what the fuck was going on! But I had to remember I had a job to do, therefore I just placed her in the back of the car without speaking or looking at her.
Eva sat silently in the back as we made our way to the station. Clayton and the rookies followed in their cars. As everything began to set it in, I grew angrier with Eva-Marie. How had she been keeping such a big secret from me? I mean I knew I was keeping certain things from her but this was big! And illegal! The fury grew as I then realized what Nicholas Brandy had been talking about when he told me the answer was right under my nose. How many other people knew and just let me continue to look stupid? Did she want to embarrass me? I tightened my grip around the steering wheel, enraged.
When we arrived in front of the station in the city, I slammed my door and yanked her out of the back seat. I held on to her chained wrists as she walked, catching her when she tripped while getting up onto the curb. Clayton and the rookies followed close behind as we entered the building. It was late and I was glad, there weren’t many people in the lobby which meant less eyes on us. That would’ve only made me angrier. I jammed the button on the elevator multiple times, filing into the space with the other officers and Clayton once the doors opened.
“Would one of you please open the interrogation room?” I asked one of the rookies and watched as he scrambled to get in front of me to unlock the door. “I want no one watching and I want no one listening!” I yelled at them without looking back before entering the interrogation room. I pulled the chair out for Eva and then slammed the door. I leaned with both of my palms on the door, looking down at the floor and preparing myself to speak to her. I had to prepare myself to even look at her.
“It’s still me David, I haven’t changed.” She said in a miniscule voice.
I shut my eyes and squeezed them at the sound of her voice. The last time I had spoken to her, she was trying to get away from me and told me she never wanted me. There were too many emotions flooding through my mind at the moment! But I knew I had to face the issue sooner or later. I lifted my head and turned to face her. Her dark eyes were wet but she wasn’t crying. She looked like a scared little girl in the middle of the dark, cold cement room. How was it that she was the one I’d been after all along? There had to be more to the story.
“Still you? Still you? How am I supposed to believe that when I just found out you’re involved in the case I’ve been trying to end since we met!” I shouted, getting closer and shoving my chair out of the way, making it clatter to the floor. “Please Eva-Marie tell me how the fuck I’m supposed to trust anything that comes out of your mouth after you’ve been hiding this from me the whole time!”
“Well what the hell was I supposed to do? Hand my family over so you could take them away from me!” She stood and shouted back at me.
And so, everything came into place. It was her family. She’d been protecting her family the whole time. In that moment, I became a bit more understanding of her situation. Not to mention, hearing her come back at me with just as much fire as I’d given her was nostalgic, reminding me of what it was about her that intrigued me from the beginning. Familiar sparks were returning.
Eva shook her head. “You don’t know how this has affected everything in my life, making it so hard to live normal! I couldn’t tell my friends, I couldn’t tell anybody! I just had to keep it all inside so I could keep my family safe! I was only going to marry Ray because he threatened to expose my family if he didn’t get to have me, okay? I didn’t mean what I said that day in the train yard. I would never choose Ray over you but once he revealed to me who you were that just made everything so much harder because I’m so in love with you, David. I didn’t want you to see this side of me.”
Those words were like a defibrillator shock to the heart! They were enough to bring me to my senses and realize that this was the woman I loved and like Timmy said, I would be on her side no matter what and no matter how hard it was…even in the face of chaos.
I stood with one hand on my hip and used the other to pinch the bridge of my nose. I sighed and picked the chair up, taking a seat and then patting the table to gesture for her to sit down. Once she saw that I had put my claws away, she relaxed and sat down as well. “Look Eva-Marie,” I spoke in a low voice. “I never stopped loving you, okay? Never. I wasn’t lying when I said everything we had was real. But I have a job to do. Now, I’m going to try to compromise and help you out as much as possible but I need you to help me out too. Do you think we can do that?”
It took a moment but she nodded.
“Good. What is it that you want?” I asked.
Her eyebrows came together and she looked around. “What I want? What do you mean what do I want, David?”
“Do you want to go to jail? Do you not want to go to jail? Who do you want to go to jail? How do you want this to go?” I answered.
She stared at me with those deep, dark eyes for a long moment. “I don’t want to lose you.” Her eyes travelled and she began gazing out the window into the darkness. “I don’t want to lose my family.” She looked at me.
I raised my eyebrows, silently telling her to continue.
“This is the hardest position I’ve ever been in…my entire life. Because it’s you versus my family.” A tear fell down her cheek. “I don’t want to have to make that decision, David. Because I love both you and my parents so much.” She wiped her tears. “This whole time after I figured out who you really are, my biggest fear was losing you because you would think so low of me. You have to understand that I’ve never had a choice, I didn’t choose this David.”
Seeing her in tears tugged at my heart strings. I couldn’t stand to see her so broken. I reached out and put her hand in mine, squeezing it and giving her a peck on the hand. “I’m sorry you have to go through this, I want to help you. I told you I’d never give up on you…I wasn’t lying about that. Do you trust me?” I asked.
She wiped her eyes and nodded.
Before I coul
d ask any more questions, there was a bang on the window. I rolled my eyes, knowing I had demanded no one interrupt the session, but rose from my seat anyways. I exited the room, closing the door behind me only to be surprised by who I saw on the other side of the glass.
“Me and you need to talk,” Eva’s father, Percy Hutchinson, said to me in a quick and hushed voice. His wife, Mary, stood behind him.
I looked around to see that no one was in earshot. “What’s going on?”
“What have you got her in there for?” He demanded to know.
I sighed. “She’s fine, we’re just talking and she hasn’t told me anything yet.”
He rubbed his hand over his face and shook his head. “You keep her out of this okay. This is all me. You pin this all on me and you can take me, put me in jail. Not her. Keep her and my wife out of jail if I give you all the information, do we have a deal?” Percy eyed me. Mary was looking at me with hopeful eyes.
I had to think about it. Of course I wasn’t going to throw Eva in jail in the first place, and she said she didn’t want to lose her family. She would still have her mother and she’d be out of jail. I thought that was a pretty good deal.
“She loves you, I know she does. I’ve never seen my little girl so happy.” Percy admitted. “You’re good for her, you’ve shown her a happiness I could never get out of her. For that I thank you.” He grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye as he shook my hand. “You’ve gotta take me and leave them.”
I sighed and nodded my head. “Okay…but she’s not going to like that.”
“I know what’s best. Can we speak to her?” He questioned.
I opened the door and walked in with her parents.
“Mama! Daddy!” She sprang out of her chair and tried to hug them, restrained by the hand cuffs.
“Oh would you please get her out of these, David?” Mary asked, appalled.