Steve knew he would never be able to get over Matt. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. He was Matt’s. He belonged to him. And he couldn’t let him go.
Even though his heart ached, his own lust was wreaking havoc through his body. His need for Matt was primal. It wasn’t something he just wanted, but something he needed to have. And he knew that no matter how many times he was with Matt, he could never get enough of him.
Matt pushed his body against Steve’s and pressed their erections against one another. The hard outline of their two cocks poking and prodding at one another only added to Steve’s growing desire.
He reached down between their bodies and ran his palm against the thickness of Matt’s cock. He groaned at how good it felt against his hand and he wanted to relive each and every memory they shared in hopes that Matt wouldn’t walk away.
Steve pulled away from their hot kiss. He was frustrated, hot and hard. Any other time he’d be ready to fuck like a couple of sailors on shore leave, but this time was different. He knew that physically they could rock each other’s worlds. That was a given. What he needed now was to prove to Matt that what they shared was more than just sex.
He looked into Matt’s eyes. “I want you, baby. I want you to make love to me.”
Steve’s heart was beating erratically and in the havoc of it all it lodged somewhere in his chest. The silence that loomed between them was holding him hostage in an almost unspeakable kind of hell as he waited for Matt to answer.
“Steve, I shouldn’t…This can’t—”
“Shh.” Steve placed his fingers over Matt’s lips to silence him. “We should. We can. Please, baby. Don’t say no. I know you want to. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in your touch.”
Matt lifted his hand up and rubbed his thumb along Steve’s lower lips. “God help me, but I do. I want to so bad.”
“Then do it. Don’t make either of us suffer, baby. Make love to me.” Steve pleaded.
Matt stared at him for what seemed like the longest time as Steve reluctantly stepped away and began to undress. Their eyes were locked on one another as Steve took off every last thing he wore and then returned to do the same with Matt.
Steve nervously removed Matt’s shirt, then his jeans and finally his underwear. Hoping with every second that Matt’s hands wouldn’t reach out and try to stop him. Matt still didn’t say a word as Steve walked over to chaise lounge and lay down on it.
Despite Matt’s silence, Steve would’ve sworn he’d never seen Matt’s eyes look as alive as they did in that moment. There was a fire blazing inside of him that told Steve all he had to do was fan those flames to turn it into a raging inferno.
Steve reached down and grasped his cock in his hand. Stroking himself, he stared back at Matt. After only a moment Matt shook his head and dropped it down.
He stared at the floor for a moment before looking back up at Steve. “What are you doing to me.”
“I’m giving you what you want. What we both want.”
Steve watched while Matt worked his jaw in frustration. He hated that their once easy connection seemed to be forever changed by Matt’s startling news. Steve would give anything to turn back the hands of time and throw Matt’s phone in the pool just so he wouldn’t have been drug away to the hospital and away from him.
So much time had passed Steve was beginning to think that his efforts weren’t doing him a damn bit of good. Then just when he had been about to give up Matt moved from his still and solemn state.
Matt didn’t utter a word when he walked over to the dresser and pulled out a tube of lubricant. He flipped open the lid and squirted a generous amount onto his fingers.
He then turned back to face Steve and began to walk toward him. There was a seriousness in his expression that told Steve he had finally gotten through to him. Matt knew how good they were together. It had taken some doing, but finally Matt was realizing that their connection was too strong to just walk away from. Just a moment before and Steve had been willing to give up and walk away. He knew now how foolish that would have been. There was no turning away from Matt. He couldn’t even if he wanted to. He loved him. He loved every part of him. He just needed to make sure Matt knew how perfect they were for one another. He would not lose him. He couldn’t.
Matt knelt down on the end of the chaise lounge and dipped two of his fingers past the seam of Steve’s ass. The cool jelly shocked Steve’s system. Just as soon he winced from the discomfort of it though, Steve felt the alluring sensation of Matt’s hand wrap around his cock, stroking him so sweetly it bordered between pleasure and pain.
Steve was mesmerized by every move that Matt made. From his hard cock to the expert way he dipped his fingertips just inside his tight hole, Steve knew that Matt and he fit together like the two missing pieces to a gigantic puzzle.
His cock twitched with excitement when Matt reached down and lifted his ass further up. The position put Matt’s cock at just the right angle to take Steve.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, baby. Make love to me,” Steve answered.
“Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?” Matt asked.
Steve looked deeply into Matt’s eyes and offered him that same fire he saw staring back at him. They were windows to each of their souls, revealing more than any words possible could.
“Show me how much,” Steve whispered.
Matt leaned over Steve and their two eyes connected. He wasn’t sure what struck him the most about that moment, the beauty of the man who hovered over him, or the heartache he was battling.
“I love you,” Matt whispered as he positioned himself at Steve’s entrance.
Steve lifted his hand and cupped Matt’s cheek. “I love you, too.”
Matt slowly pushed himself past Steve’s entrance and waited. Steve didn’t want to wait though. He knew the burning stretch he felt would be gone soon enough. He thrust his hips up and forced Matt’s cock deeper into his ass. Both of the men screamed, each for much different reasons. The pain sliced through Steve’s body as Matt pried him open with his cock.
No matter how much his muscles throbbed, wild horses couldn’t have kept him from giving himself to Matt. He needed all of Matt inside of him. Taking him, and making to loving him.
Matt’s body trembled as he hovered over Steve. Slowly Steve rocked his hips forcing Matt to slide back and then forth into him. Each time it felt better than the last and it only made Steve increase his pace with every stride.
Matt thrust inside Steve, this time taking the lead and shouting and moaning each time his hips rocked back and forth. Steve was already riding close to the edge. The exquisite way Matt’s cock fit his ass, so snug and perfect, only added to the overwhelming feelings which were flooding his heart.
“I’m already so close.” Matt’s words came out on ragged breaths.
Steve reached down and grabbed onto his cock. He began stroking it slowly while Matt continued to move back and forth in his ass.
Steve could barely take in air. His body was humming from the intensity of the moment. There was no holding back now. He was completely consumed by this man and everything that he was.
“Oh, babe…I’m coming,” Matt said in a strained voice.
Steve felt the warm feel of cum spill into his ass. Just as quickly, a sudden explosion ripped through his own body. Steve shook as his orgasm hit every part of his body. Hot and unrelenting, his release spilled onto his belly. A pleasure unlike any they’d shared before came over Steve.
Both of them gasped for breath in their weakened post-coital state until finally Matt collapsed on top of Steve. They each wrapped their arms around one another. They held on tight as their bodies continued to tremble.
There may be another man in the picture, but Steve felt confident that they’d figure out a way to stay together. They meant too much to each other to not find a way. Each of them belonged to the other now. Together they possessed one another in a way that no other could
possibly understand.
Steve cupped the sides of Matt’s face and softly kissed his lips. There was no lust-filled urgency, just a soft meeting of their mouths expressing the depths of what they felt.
The kiss could have lasted minutes, maybe even hours. Any sense of time and space seemed to escape Steve in that moment until Matt abruptly pulled away and looked into Steve’s eyes.
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
Matt began to get up from the lounge chair when Steve grabbed onto his hands. “Please, let me go.”
“No! What are you doing?” Steve asked the question, but he knew by the sadness in Matt’s expression that he already knew the answer.
“Baby, please. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.” Matt wiggled free from Steve’s hold and began dressing.
“If it’s hard that means you shouldn’t be doing it.” Steve stood up and walked toward him, but Matt quickly side stepped and got out of his path.
“I have to do it.” Matt finished pulling up his jeans and handed Steve his clothes. “I’m sorry.”
“No. This can’t be happening.” Steve shook his head as tears began to spill down his cheeks. “I love you.”
“I love you too. You might never know how much. But—”
“Then we can make this work. If we love each other, we can make this work.”
Matt turned away. “We can’t. God help me I wish there was a way, but there isn’t.”
“So that’s it?” Steve shouted. “Just like that? Wam bam, thank you, man?”
Matt spun around. “That’s not fair! I tried to push you away. I tried to…” He sighed. “It doesn’t matter. You have every right to be angry with me. You don’t deserve this.”
“Neither of us do. Please, baby. Don’t do this.” Never in his life had Steve ever wished for something so much.
“There won’t be a day that I won’t think about you.”
Steve wiped his tears away. “No. Quit talking like it’s over. It’s not over. It can’t be over.”
“It is, Steve. I’m sorry, but that’s the way it has to be.”
“No. I don’t want to do this. Please. I don’t want to say good-bye to you.”
“I don’t want to either,” Matt admitted.
Steve stared at him for what felt like an eternity. Each of their noses sniffling as their breathing was as heavy as the weight of their hearts. The more he stood in this room the harder his chest ached. He began dressing, slowly at first and then he hurried, not even sure why.
“So, this is it? We’re…over.” Steve asked the question but still couldn’t believe it was really happening.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I owe this to Aaron. Even though I love you, I love him, too.”
Steve dropped his head and tried to will the words away. Hearing those words sliced a deeper hole into his heart.
The two of them stood silent for a minute and finally Steve raised his head and looked into Matt’s eyes. “I love you so much.”
Matt didn’t say anything as Steve took the spare key he’d made for him and placed it on the dresser. Matt watched him in silence as he walked out of the bedroom and toward the front door.
Steve got in his car the same way he walked out of Matt’s house, in a complete daze. He was in shock and not entirely sure that what just happened had in fact happened.
His hands trembled as he placed the keys in the ignition. His body shook as he put the car and gear and pulled out onto the street. In the rearview mirror he saw the reflection of his tear stained face and wondered what he did to deserve this. Why would he be given such an amazing gift only to have it taken away as quickly as he’d received it?
Maybe it wasn’t real. Maybe he’d fallen asleep and this all was some horrible dream brought on by too much wine at the dinner table.
With a shaky voice, Steve whispered, “Please, God. Let it be a dream.”
Chapter Seven
Aaron walked back into his home as if he hadn’t missed a single day. He sat down on the couch in the living room at Matt’s insistence. He was busy fussing over all the fixing for a sandwich in the kitchen.
The doctor had encouraged Matt to feed Aaron several snacks a day. He’d lost close to twenty pounds since he’d been in the coma. Those pounds consisted of nearly every muscle he’d spent hours working on in the gym.
He was now one hundred and sixty pounds and as thin as he was when he turned seventeen. One sixty probably wouldn’t be too thin for some guys, but seeing as how he was over six feet tall, it made him feel like a pole standing on the side of the interstate.
He didn’t like his new post-coma look and couldn’t wait until the doc gave him the go ahead to hit the weights. He never considered himself to be overly vein, but looking good made him feel good about himself. And he knew all too well that Matt had always had a weakness for his body.
After losing two years together, Aaron didn’t like the idea of not having the upper hand. He wanted back what they once had. The fire, the passion, he wanted it back just like it was two years ago.
It still seemed so strange to him. For Aaron it was still two years earlier. Aside from the change in his appearance, he didn’t feel any differently.
He knew it wasn’t the same for Matt though. On the surface everything seemed normal. They hugged, held hands, even kissed, but there was something in Matt’s eyes that he couldn’t quite get a reading on.
That knowledge disturbed him on so many levels. He’d always been able to read Matt so easily. He could sense his feelings, sometimes even know what he was about to say. They had this connection that many had teased them about.
Their inexplicable ability to finish one another’s sentences or any other number of countless ways they fit together, all led up to one defining factor. They were soul mates, two people who were destined to be together. Since he woke up, he couldn’t say that he didn’t feel the same way. He just didn’t know if Matt did.
Aaron did his best to shake the worry free from his mind. He’d been obsessing about it for days and it was getting him nowhere. He took a look around their home, looking for subtle changes or something to make the two-year separation seem more believable.
Everything looked the same, from the kitchen towels right down to the familiar coffee cup left to be rinsed off in the sink.
For four days the doctors had poked and prodded him, looking for some kind of a medical reason as to why, after so long, he had suddenly just awoken with virtually no health problems whatsoever.
Other than a bit of memory loss from the time around the accident and being weak from lying there for two years, he was in fairly decent health. Matt had been beyond wonderful to him in the days since he woke from his longer-than-necessary slumber.
Since the docs at the hospital hadn’t wanted to release him right away, Matt had been there from the moment he opened his eyes until the nighttime when he was ready to fall asleep again.
At the doctor’s suggestion, they had gone for walks together in an effort to build up Aaron’s strength. They started with small tasks at first. Matt would take him around the nurse’s station in the beginning. Then after a day of doing that several times, they made their way around the entire floor. Aaron had felt a little exposed and self conscious from walking down the hall in the hospital gown knowing that anyone might get a peek at his ass. Matt had soothed his uneasiness. “You have a cute little tushy,” he’d said.
By the fourth and final day that he was in the hospital, Matt had brought a picnic basket lunch for them to share from Giovanni’s Deli. Before the accident Aaron ate lunch there at least twice a week and sometimes more.
The basket was filled with so many goodies that Aaron hadn’t been sure what to eat first. There were pastrami-on-rye sandwiches, tapioca pudding, sea salt potato chips, and his favorite sugary indulgence, cherry with vanilla soda.
The lunch had been nice and the perfect way to spend a sunny afternoon when he was stuck in a hospital that had appare
ntly been his home for two years. It was that afternoon that the docs had given him the all clear, health wise. They had only asked for him to spend that night, last night, in the hospital to monitor him for one more night while he slept, just to be on the safe side. Then this morning he was given the heave ho.
Never in his life had Aaron ever been so happy to get kicked out of a place before. He was sad to say good-bye to Nurse Nguyen though. Her gentle and compassionate demeanor had been a great help to him in these past days. She’d given him her number and insisted he call if he needed anything. She was a sweet woman, and reminded him so much of his mother, who he’d lost too long ago.
“Here you go. One turkey and Swiss on whole wheat bread, complete with mayo, tomatoes, iceberg lettuce, and one thinly sliced red onion.” Matt handed Aaron the plate and a napkin.
“Thanks, babe. But don’t you want me to eat in the kitchen?” he asked, surprised. The Matt he remembered hated crumbs and anything even remotely messy.
“No. Sit here on the couch. Relax.”
Aaron raised a brow at him questioningly. “You are going to let me eat in the living room?”
“I just handed it to you, didn’t I? Now come on, eat up before the bread dries up,” Matt insisted.
“Okay, who are you and what have you done with Matt?”
“Oh, would you just stop it. Eat up.”
“What happened to the obsessive compulsive Matt? The Matt who wouldn’t let me eat anywhere besides the kitchen?”
“Yeah well, you’d be surprised what two years could do to a person,” he answered somberly.
There it was. That glint in Matt’s eyes that he’d seen too many times in the past days. It was obvious that Matt was glad to have him back. He clearly still loved him and was willing to do anything to make Aaron comfortable. There was just something that he was keeping hidden, something that Aaron couldn’t figure out.
“I wish I could take it all back,” Aaron told him.
“You? What did you do?”
“Took the world’s longest nap.”
When He Woke (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting ManLove) Page 6