Releasing his throat, I fight to catch my breath while looking hard to see that he’s knocked out cold. He’s done for. He’s had enough- she’s right.
Although in my mind, it can never be enough.
Blood covers his face and my hands, but I don’t feel one ounce of regret seeing him lay there helpless in his own pool of blood. I’ve seen my mother do the same too many times.
“What did you do?” my mom cries. “You could’ve killed him.” She pushes at me, screaming and crying. “He wasn’t going to touch me. He wasn’t.” She pushes me again and then drops down to her knees.
I stand up and watch as my mother grabs at his shirt and yells his name in attempt to get him to wake up.
“Frank! Get up! Open your eyes.” She slaps his cheek in a panic. “Come on, dammit! Open them.”
This only pisses me off more, watching her in so much agony over his pain. He deserved every hit that he took. “After everything he’s put you through. Us through. You give a shit about him being hurt for once? After all those times he hurt you every fucking day and then beat me for trying to help you? All the broken bones I suffered as a child because of him or all of the scars on the back of your head from him throwing you into anything and everything.”
I grip at my hair and start pacing. I want to fucking scream, but I’m trying my best not to scare Meadow anymore or give her a reason to think I’m anything like that piece of shit on the floor. “Why the fuck haven’t you left him yet? Why the fuck did you put us through all that suffering after seeing how dangerous he was. He could’ve killed us both. But you stayed anyway and you still refuse to leave. Why the hell won’t you walk away? Why? Tell me.”
“Stop it, Styx. Dammit. Stop it,” she cries out, while wiping at her face. “I love him and he hasn’t hurt me in over six months. Things have been good between us and you just ruined that. He’s going to hate me now.” She cries harder and I can tell that it’s out of fear.
I haven’t forgotten that sound. I’ll never forget that fucking sound.
“He hasn’t hurt you in six months,” I scream. “You want to know why? It’s because of me. Fuck!” I point at my chest in pain. “Because I sit outside your house every fucking day when he gets off work, making sure that he can walk straight. Making sure that he hasn’t been drinking so he won’t feel the need to beat you for no reason. That’s why he hasn’t hurt you. I make sure of it. He knows I’m there every single fucking day. That’s why.”
I glance over at Meadow to see her watching us with her hand over her mouth and tears spilling from her eyes. She’s pained by everything that she’s learning about our past and it only makes me love her more.
Fuck, I hate that she has to see this, but there’s no stopping this shit storm now. There’s no walking away from this situation.
This is my mother and my father. This is my life. It’s been my shitty life since the day my father picked up a beer and never put one down.
My mother looks up from trying to get my father to respond to her. “You do that for me?” she questions with tears in her eyes. “Every day?”
I nod my head and reach for my mother’s hand to pull her up to her feet. “Damn straight I do. I’d do anything for you. I’d fucking die for you. No questions asked.”
My mom’s arms wrap around my neck and before I know it, she’s bawling into my arms, me holding her up so she won’t fall to the floor. “I’m so sorry. I’m so damn sorry. Oh my God.” She holds me tighter, her whole body shaking as she cries. “I’m hurting you. It’s me. I’ve been the one hurting you.”
I glance over to see more tears roll down Meadow’s face, before she wipes them away and walks over to check my father’s pulse and breathing.
It hurts me so damn much right now that she has to be here to witness this shitty mess and check to make sure that I haven’t just killed someone right in front of her eyes.
Fuck, she may hate me after this.
Once my mom calms down, I release my hold on her and walk over to throw my arms around Meadow when she steps away from Frank. “I’m so fucking sorry. I promise you that this isn’t me. This pain has been building for years and I can’t stand back anymore while that piece of shit hurts my mother.” I kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear. “You can leave if you want. I’ll understand.”
She shakes her head and then cups my face, pulling me in for a kiss. She’s soft and gentle, her lips still wet from the tears she’s shed. “I could never leave you for having a heart and wanting to protect your family. No one deserves to hurt like this. I would’ve done it my damn self.”
She pulls away and looks me in the eyes when the drunken bastard makes noises as if he’s about to vomit and mumbles my mother’s name. “I hate to say this, but your dad can’t be left alone tonight. He could asphyxiate on his own vomit. He’s drunk and covered in his own blood.”
I see my mother looking down at that piece of shit as if she wants to help him and lessen his suffering. “I’ll stay with him. Help me roll him over to his side.” She looks up at me, waiting.
Rushing to her, I pull my mom away from the piece of shit and roll him over with force, just in time for him to throw up on the carpet.
“There’s no way in hell I’m letting you stay here with him so he can beat the shit out of you when he gets back to his feet. No fucking way, mom. Not happening.”
I see the panic in my mother’s eyes and I hate seeing her this way. It has my heart feeling like it’s being ripped in two. I hate that asshole, but I love her more.
“As a nurse I can’t just leave him here with the possibility of him dying, Styx. I hate what he’s done just as much as you do, but someone needs to be here. I’ll stay for a few hours if I have to.”
“Fuck no.” Frustrated, I run my hands through my hair and then grab Meadow’s hand, walking her over to my mother. “I’ll stay with the piece of shit so he doesn’t die. You guys take the car and stay at my place.”
“Styx?” Meadow questions. “Are you sure you can handle this?”
I shake my head. “No . . . but I’ll do it for you two.” I kiss the top of my mother’s head and then wrap my arms around Meadow, giving her a gentle kiss. “You two take of each other until I can, please. That’s all I ask. You can leave after that if you want, but please take care of each other for tonight.”
I look into my mother’s exhausted eyes. They’re red and puffy from crying and she looks as if she’s about to fall over. “Please go with Meadow for tonight. I need you out of here. I need to know that you’re safe. If anything, do it for me. Fall asleep knowing that this asshole won’t hurt you for once. One fucking night that you won’t have to worry. I won’t let that happen. He’s not leaving this house.”
She nods her head and wipes at her eyes. “I’m so sorry I ruined the night. I love you so much. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I won’t. You’re my baby.” She grabs my face. “Please. I need help to stay away from him. I can’t do it alone.”
“You won’t have to,” I point out. “You’re never alone. I’m here.”
Meadow jumps in and grabs my mom’s hand, before wrapping an arm around her to console her. “I can get you help if you want it, Lily. We can talk about it after you rest.”
Walking my mom toward the door, Meadow looks over her shoulder and whispers something that I can’t quite understand.
As much as I’d love to ask her what that was, at this point, I’m just happy to see her and my mother walking out that door.
Fuck . . . this is going to be a long night . . .
Meadow
IT WAS A ROUGH NIGHT for Lily, but she finally fell asleep just after one this morning once she promised me she’d get herself some help to stay away from Frank.
I spent most of our time together convincing her that she’ll be okay without him and that a real man that loved his family wouldn’t hurt them. When a real man loves his family, he does everything in his power to protect them.
Like Styx . . .
&
nbsp; The son that she raised.
She deserves so much more than what Frank’s ever given her and I’m just glad that my words made her somewhat see that.
My heart instantly ached for Styx the moment he walked through his door early this morning, looking tired and worn out, but unfortunately I couldn’t stay to comfort Styx and let him know that I’m here for him.
Dani reamed my ass over the phone and only gave me fifteen minutes to make it to the hospital. I was already thirty minutes late so I don’t blame her.
I practically begged to work a double today so that I could take yesterday off and now I wish with everything in me that I had today off too so I could spend time with Styx and make sure that he’s okay.
I’ve been here for over fifteen hours now and the only thing that’s been on my mind is Styx. I miss him like crazy.
My heart aches every time I think about him and what he had to do last night. I want to be there for him. I should be there for him.
As much as I want to talk to him though, I haven’t messaged him because I know he’s taking the day off to spend with Lily.
They need this time together and I will never get in the way of them having it. I’ve never seen a mother than needs her son as much as she needs Styx right now.
I’m off in an hour so if he’s free then I’ll let him come to me when he’s ready.
For now, I’ll just do my best to focus on my duties here at the hospital.
As hard as that might be . . .
I’VE BEEN HOME FOR ALMOST an hour, so exhausted that I can barely even stand, but that hasn’t stopped my mind from worrying about Styx.
I left my phone in the bedroom when I changed so I didn’t even know Styx must’ve been texting me, until I hear a knock at the door.
Jumping up from the couch, I rush over to open it so fast that I don’t even have time to pay attention to who’s standing on my porch until it’s too late.
Jase pushes past my arm, letting himself inside. “We need to talk, Meadow. I can’t handle this shit.”
“Jase,” I growl. “There’s nothing to talk about so I’m going to ask you this nicely. And I will only ask nicely once. Please leave. It’s late and I’m exhausted.”
Shaking his head, he yanks at his hair and comes at me, grabbing my arms. “I miss you. I didn’t think I cared about you as much as I do until I saw you with that asshole.”
Not liking his closeness, I yank my arms away from him and start backing away. “Have you been drinking?” I point toward the opened door. “Leave. Right. Now.”
He laughs and takes a step toward me, reaching out his arms. “Did you listen to anything I just said? I care about you. I want you.”
I keep backing up, until I’m pressed against the wall with Jase blocking me in with his arms. This is the last position I want to be in with him. Especially when he’s been drinking. I’ve already watched one drunken asshole make a fool of himself. I don’t need to see another one.
“I’m sorry, Jase, but no.” I place my hand on his hard chest and give him a shove, but he doesn’t budge. “Get the fuck out.”
He shakes his head and then grabs my wrist, hard, holding it still so he can lean in and attempt to kiss me.
I turn my head to the side and fight to get my wrist free. “Get the fuck off me, Jase!” I scream and push at him with all my might. “Don’t you kiss me. Get off!”
Clenching his jaw, he picks me up and tosses me onto the couch, before throwing himself on top of me and kissing me.
He forces his mouth on mine so hard that I cut my lip on his tooth. Before I know it, his erection is pressed between my legs.
“You used to love this. Remember? Give me a chance to remind you.”
“Get off!” I thrust my hips and yell, until I feel his body weight lift off of me and then hear the sound of bone meeting bone.
Surprised, I sit up, fighting to catch my breath as I watch Styx, beating the shit out of Jase.
Shock takes over and for a second, I can’t speak. All I can do is jump over the couch to get away from them.
The punches only seem to get harder and louder with each swing, until Jase finally throws his hands up in surrender.
Breathing hard, Styx shoves Jase’s head into the floor, one last time, before jumping to his feet and rushing over to me.
His bloodied hands reach for my face, but I back away, before he can touch me.
“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”
I close my eyes and run my hands over my face, still shocked as hell that this all just happened.
“I just need him out of here. I can’t look at him. I can’t.” I open my eyes and look at Styx to see his reaction.
Nodding his head, he yanks Jase to his feet and begins pushing him toward the door. “Don’t ever fucking come here again,” he growls. “You’re lucky I didn’t kill you for putting your hands on her.”
Turning away from Styx, I powerwalk to the bathroom and shut the door behind me, pacing back and forth.
My heart is racing so fast and hard right now that I can hardly catch my breath.
I don’t know what to think. I’m so fucking confused. This is all too overwhelming for me.
This all has me wanting to scream. So I do.
Rushing from the bathroom, I grab Styx by the back of his jacket and turn him around, crushing my lips against his, before taking a step back and yelling. “What the fuck!” I look over his shoulder to see Jase opening the door to his car and speeding off.
“You’re so much bigger than him. You could’ve killed him, Styx. You need to know when to stop throwing the punches. Sometimes it doesn’t take twenty swings to get the message across.”
Styx’s eyes soften once he sees how worked up I am. “I wanted to kill him when I walked in that door to see him hurting you. He’s lucky he didn’t get fifty swings.”
God. I love him for this, but feel like I should be mad at the same damn time.
“I understand that you were just protecting me, but I can’t handle this right now. Do you understand that in less than twenty-four hours, I stood back and watched you beat the shit out of two grown men? My heart aches seeing you this way.”
Pushing his hair out of his face, he walks toward me, not stopping until his body is pressed against mine. “I’m sorry I’ve made you watch, but I’m not sorry for hurting him. I will do everything to protect you. That’s just who I am. Can you handle that?”
Closing my eyes, I nod my head and kiss him back, when I feel his lips on mine.
Being in his arms feels so damn good. Too good, but I think I need to be alone right now.
“I want to be with you tonight, Styx. I do with everything in me, but I need some alone time right now. Is that okay?”
“You want me to leave?” His body stiffens and I hate that a part of him is worried that I might now want him anymore.
“Just for tonight. I just need to draw a hot bath and relax and then go to sleep and wake up to a better day. I think we both need to sleep today off. I know it’s been a rough day for you and it’s been extremely rough for me too.”
He presses his face into my neck, before he gently kisses it and takes a step away from me. “I need to stop by the club to talk to Cale tomorrow. So I guess I need tonight to think about what I want to say to him.”
“Is everything okay?” I question.
He nods and zips up his jacket. “Yeah, it will be. Goodnight.”
Standing next to the couch, I watch as he walks away and closes the door behind him.
The first thing I do is fall to my knees and cry, letting out all of my frustration and pain.
I feel so damn alone right now, but I need to be.
After spending the whole day at the hospital looking after hurt patients, the last thing that I could take tonight was seeing another person bleeding in front of me, right on my living room floor. I’ve seen too much blood in the last twenty-four hours. I can’t see anymore right now.
Not to mention that I’v
e been thinking about my mother, father and aunt since last night.
But especially my aunt since she raised me for as long as I can remember.
Spending the night with Lily reminded me what it was like to have that warm, fuzzy feeling of a parent being around to talk to.
Sometimes when I’m in moods like this, being alone is the best thing I can do. I hate letting anyone see just how broken I truly am.
I just hope that Styx will understand tomorrow . . .
Styx
I HAVEN’T SPOKEN TO MEADOW since last night when she asked me to leave.
I’ve spent the first part of my day at the gym and the second part of it at my mother’s house, making sure that her locks are all properly changed now that Frank has been asked to leave.
The police escorted him out the other night and I made it clear to him that he wasn’t to step foot into this house again.
I’ll pay the rent for as long as my mother needs. So that piece of shit has no hold over her now. If she needs someone she can call me and I’ll be there every single time. She doesn’t have to be alone and she won’t be.
I’m now on my way to the club to talk to Cale, even though the only thing on my mind is going to find Meadow.
I need to know that she still wants me and that I haven’t scared her off. I know she said that she just needed the night, but now that she’s had time to think, maybe she needs more. I don’t know.
Pulling up to the club, I feel and look like shit as I hop off my motorcycle and make my way inside.
It’s not extremely busy here yet, but the instant I get spotted in the crowd, half-naked girls cling to me, pulling me in different directions to get my attention.
It only reminds me more why I need to get the hell out of this place and focus on the gym more.
Having other women’s hands on me makes me feel guilty as hell. The only hands that feel good on me are Meadow’s.
She’s the only person I want touching me.
Ignoring the women groping at me, I make my way up the steps to Cale’s office and knock.
Styx (Walk Of Shame 2nd Generation #2) Page 13