by C. C. Brown
"We'll see. Sometimes mixing business with pleasure is good for business." He winked, then turned and gracefully walked towards the door. Stopping at the door he said, "Have a wonderful afternoon, Miss. Pinkston," then left my office.
I slumped down in my chair and picked up the papers that he had used as his excuse to follow me to my office. They were PowerPoint notes from the finance presenters, which were easily accessible from any of our computers. I just wanted to go home and soak in a long, hot bath. The stress of the day was weighing on me and it was only Monday.
<>
A long, hot, bubble bath was all I could think about as I sat in my office chair after Damian's exit, so as soon I'd arrived home, I made it happen. I lay with my eyes closed, my body completely submerged in the water; listening to Kenny G romantically blow the saxophone into my ears. The stress of the day was slowly washing away the longer I stayed in the bath tub. Unfortunately, hurricane Chelsea came barreling into my bathroom and my relaxing moment of peace abruptly ended.
"So tell me all about work? How's it going? How is that sexy ass boss of yours?" She was asking questions a mile a minute, and I opened my eyes to find her with a goofy grin spread across her face.
"It's fine, and my boss is just that, hot and all business. There is nothing there, Chels."
She eyed me curiously, trying to see if I was hiding information and not wanting to divulge any extras. I didn't want to go into detail, but there really was nothing going on with William.
"Why are you soaking in a bath on a Monday night? This looks like a stress reliever to me."
I gave her an annoyed look, hoping she would take the hint. But of course, being Chelsea, her look of inquisition only deepened.
"I didn't get to tell you about my new business partner did I?" I asked, obviously piquing her interest. She shook her head and moved closer, causing me to sink even further into the tub. "Well at the team meet and greet, I got to meet the owner of the team. His name is Damian Rossi. He's young, hot as hell, and overly cocky."
"Ooohhh, an Italian stallion. Go on."
I chuckled a bit at her terminology, but proceeded with my story. "He basically undressed me with his eyes at the meet and greet. I had no clue who he was until William…"
"Hot as hell boss… okay, go on."
I rolled my eyes but continued on with my story. "Yes, until William pulled us together to introduce us to the team and the rest of the attendees. Then and only then did I find out who he was. He came into my office today after our meeting to deliver some freakin' papers that my assistant, Amanda, could have easily printed out for me." I adjusted myself in the tub. "He told me he wants to mix business with pleasure. I told him that wouldn't be a good idea."
"Damn, Cara. You've got a salacious love square going on, and somehow it's stressing you out? Weirdo."
"Love square?" I asked.
"Yes, love square. You, Hot Ass Boss, Italian Stallion, and Chase. You've got three sinfully good-looking men pining after you and you're stressed? You're an idiot, Cara."
"I don't have a love square. My boss is not part of my train wreck love life and neither are the other two for that matter." "Oh yes, let's not forget the part where Chase stopped by today and asked me to be his date to your engagement party this weekend."
"He did? Wow! Way to go Chase."
"No, not way to go Chase. I don't want to be with him like that and I keep trying to tell him, but your ass keeps encouraging him."
"Hey, I didn't tell him to ask you out. He took that upon himself."
"Well it's not happening. I'm not going down that road when I haven't figured out the most pressing thing in my life."
Chelsea's eyes narrowed as her brows furrowed. Her lips pursed together and her altogether carefree demeanor quickly melted away. "You’re talking about Jason aren't you?" What is there to figure out? He's in the past, Cara. Move on."
"I want to move on, but I can't right now."
"What are you saying?" she asked, anger radiating from her voice.
"I'm not saying anything. I don't think I'm ready to face Jason, but I do love him, Chels, and I'm not ready to move on with anyone else."
"Did you hear that his house is up for sale? Looks like he's packing it up and leaving town? Have you talked to him?" she asked. She almost looked happy that there was the prospect of him leaving.
"Yes, I've heard about the house going up for sale. No, I have not talked to him," I answered, straight to the point.
"Well it's better that way, trust me."
I looked at her and a sudden burst of anger lodged into me. I sat up, careful to place my towel over my breasts.
"Chelsea, you have no damn clue what's better for me. You're still with the person that you fell in love with, but I'm not. You may not like Jason, and I may not like him very much either, but he is the first guy I fell in love with, and it hurts like hell not being with him. So please, lay off with the advice about what I need and don't need because you have no idea what it's like being in love with someone that you can't be with."
Shock and utter disbelief stained Chelsea's face. I wasn't sure if it was the fact that I openly and freely admitted that I was still in love with Jason, or the fact that I had come out and said it in a direct manner, that put her in her place. Either one must have done the trick because a deafening silence fell over the bathroom and we both sat, staring at one another, not knowing what to say. She finally broke the silence with a heart-felt apology.
"I'm sorry, Cara. I really am. I never stopped to take those feelings into consideration. I just want to see you loved and happy, and I don't think you got that from Jason."
"I know, but that doesn't change the way that I feel."
"You are absolutely right. Maybe you should talk to him, clear the air, your conscience, and get some closure. I hate to see you moping around over a guy that you won't be with."
I winced at her words. I wanted more than anything to call Jason and hear his voice, but the idea was like nails on a chalkboard for me, and I quickly flushed the thought from my mind.
"You have some nice guys waiting for you, Cara. You shouldn't be wasting time on a guy who has more baggage than my parents on a trip to the Caribbean."
I laughed a little at the image of Chelsea's parents and all of their baggage.
"I know what you mean Chels. Truthfully though, I don't think the best way for me to get over Jason is to move on to another guy. I'm done jumping in head first. It got me burned-- badly."
She nodded her head and stood to exit the bathroom. As she walked towards the door she turned and said, "You forgot the wine, asshole."
We both laughed and she left the bathroom, closing the door gently behind her.
It felt good breaking through the wall and finally saying what I had been feeling for so long. Normally, Chelsea intimidated me, but after hearing advice that she couldn't relate to over and over again, I had to relieve the aching burn that was settling in my chest. She was shocked by my words as well as my tone, but she got the hint, and that was all that mattered.
Chapter 9
Tuesday and Wednesday came and went without anything out of the ordinary taking place. The Tide had a big photo shoot coming up, and William had told me that I would be working with Damian since he had more pressing team business to take care of. The thought made me a little leery, since Damian had made no qualms about his desire to date me. Of course, he was strikingly good-looking, but he was a work associate, and I enjoyed my job, so mixing the two was a definite no-go for me.
When I awoke Thursday morning, I felt a twinge of sickness in my stomach. Was I coming down with something? I shook off the thoughts and went about my normal morning routine, making sure to eat breakfast, in hopes of quelling the queasiness that had settled there. When I got to my office building, I stopped in the lobby to drink from the water fountain. I stood upright to find Sunny staring at me, flashing a smug grin in my direction. I didn't feed it, but simply turned and walked to the elevator
s.
When I made my way up to the fifth floor, I stepped out to find Amanda walking by with two mugs of coffee in her hands. She looked at me and smiled, motioning for me to follow her into my office. She sat the mugs down on my desk and as I walked in behind her she said, "You have a visitor."
My mind spun for a minute as I tried to think of who could be there to see me. I didn't want it to be Jason and the twinge in my stomach that I had felt earlier that morning was rumbling even harder now.
"Is it a guy?" I asked cringing as I awaited her answer.
"No, it’s a female," she said, looking at me curiously.
I let out a deep sigh, but then my stomach rolled again at the thought of Stacey being in my office to see me. I hadn't thought of this scenario happening. In fact, next to the hospital scene, this situation would have been my worst nightmare.
"Did she give a name?" I asked, apprehension laced in my voice.
"Heather."
I let out another deep sigh. "Did she say why she needed to see me?"
"No," Amanda said. "She just said she was here to see Cara Pinkston. I told her you weren't in yet and that I would have to clear it through you first, anyway. Should I let her in?"
I thought hard for a second about what could possibly bring Heather all the way to San Diego, then finally told Amanda to let her in. I took my seat behind my desk and took a long swig of the steaming hot coffee, hoping it would relax me a little. A few minutes later, Amanda walked Heather into my office.
She looked exactly as I had remembered her--beautifully blonde with piercing blue eyes. She smiled warmly and while I tried my best to return it, thoughts of the night of the gala spilled in my head. Jason had been in love with Heather, and a lot of why he'd wanted me was because I was a reminder of her. The thought made me sick, but I maintained my poise and welcomed her into my office.
"Hi, Cara. It's nice to see you," she said, in her innocently sweet southern drawl as she walked over to give me a hug. "Wow! Your hair looks amazing."
I hugged her. As we pulled away, I watched as a hint of unease hit her face.
"It's nice to see you too, Heather, and thank you! What brings you to San Diego?"
She strolled to the chair positioned in front of my desk and nervously took a seat. She closed her eyes as she said, "I'm here to see my sister."
Great confusion filled me. "Then what are you doing here?" I asked, in an unintentional, aggravated tone.
"I came to San Diego to see Stacey, but you kept coming to mind," she said, finally relaxing into her seat.
"Okay, so what's up? How did you know where I worked?"
"The internet is an amazing tool." She smiled.
"Did Jason send you here?" I asked. "Because if he did, there really is nothing for us talk about." I didn't want to be rude to Heather, but I was in no mood to deal with messengers for Jason. I had work to do.
"No. I'm not here on Jason's behalf. I came to San Diego because I had to see my sister. We don't have a good relationship and I'm sure after what you dealt with in Heath, you can see why."
I relaxed in my chair and let her continue talking.
"I'm really sorry about what happened that night; I had no idea that Jacob and Stacey were planning to put on that little show. I came here to see her because I needed to talk to her face to face. She's been a piece of work for years, making my life and everyone else's miserable." She stopped and looked around the office, but then brought her attention back to me. "She's definitely pregnant, but I highly doubt it's by Jason."
Compassion filled my heart. She'd had to deal with a monster of a sister her entire life and it seemed like she'd finally had enough.
"Do you remember Jacob saying I chose him over Jason?" she asked, embarrassed by the question.
"Yes," I replied meekly.
"Well, that was a lie. I didn't choose Jacob. I had no other choice." She paused before continuing. "I hope this isn't too hard for you, but I have to clear the air."
I closed my eyes and swallowed, but nodded to her, signaling for her to go on.
"We were definitely some reckless teenagers. When I met Jason and Jacob, I had no intention of falling for either of them. I did end up falling for Jason, but Jacob had leverage on me." She swallowed as she closed her eyes. "You have to remember that Heath is a small town with many affluent people in it. Jacob had filmed us having sex, and he'd also filmed me and Jason. We didn't know about it until later, but he threatened to leak the videos, saying he would spin the story to make me look like a brother hopping slut, and it would ruin business for my dad. Mr. Bradley favors Jacob, so if Jacob went to him with something like that, there would have been no questions asked and my family would have suffered."
My stomach rolled even more at Heather's tale. It was certainly right up Jacob's alley, but the thought of someone being so viciously vindictive repulsed me more than anything else in the world.
"What is the hold that Jacob has over his dad?" I asked, wanting to get to the bottom of this forever murky swamp.
"That I don't know. From the day I met them, Jacob has always been the favorite."
"What about Mrs. Bradley?"
"She loves both of her sons, but Jason gets the raw end of the deal because she will not stand up to Mr. Bradley where the boys are concerned."
My heart began to ache for him. My assumptions were right; he'd grown up in a home where he was ostracized and made to feel less than.
"Jason has always been better at almost everything. Jacob has a serious jealous streak and it's always aimed at his brother." She ran her fingers through her long hair and continued. "Jason and I did love each other," I watched her grimace as she said it. "And if I was stronger, I wouldn't have allowed Jacob to blackmail me into marrying him, but I was weak, and I put my family first--so I thought."
My heart began to hurt for her as well.
"How did Abby get thrown into all of this?" I asked, hoping to get to the bottom of that story as well.
"I can admit my wrong in all of this. I was married to Jacob and I never should have slept with Jason, but I did, and it opened up a brand new set of problems."
I handed her a tissue as I watched tears start to trickle down her face.
"After we did it, I just felt so wrong. I wasn't in love with Jacob, but I felt like I'd betrayed him--and I had. I told Jason that we couldn't do that anymore, and while he was hurt, he understood. When I got pregnant, I had no idea who the father was because, even though Jacob and I had an atrocious marriage, we still had sex. I told Jacob about Jason and he went on a rampage. He told his dad about everything and they threatened me, saying if I didn't go along with Abby being Jacob's, regardless of a test, they would take her away from me. I couldn't have that happen, so I went along with it."
"Why didn't you guys just have a test done when she was born?" I asked, trying to piece all of this fucked-up-ness together.
"After all of the threats, we just figured it wasn't worth it. I thought for sure she was Jason's, so he signed the birth certificate, but in public, she would be Jacob's. It was good for business and the family's image."
I shook my head and leaned back in my seat. This was a lot of information and coming from Heather, I believed it. She sounded like a tortured soul and my heart really went out to her.
"What about…Stacey?" I cringed saying her name.
"Jacob hooked them up. I wanted to keep her out of it because even as kids, she was very mischievous, but when Jacob wants something, he doesn't stop. I think Jason just wanted to move on and she made it easy. He never loved her though, and that killed her."
"Then why did he propose to her?" I asked, this part of the story had my ears burning, but I needed to know more.
"Jason went for so long being the black sheep in the family, as Mr. Bradley often called him."
Thoughts of Jason's outburst in Vegas flashed through my head. He had used that exact term.
"He went through a period of just wanting acceptance. He was pretty much w
illing to do anything to be held in the same regard with his dad that Jacob was. Mr. Bradley thinks business first, family second. He thought if the two of them got married, it would uphold this image he wanted to keep for his company, so Jason went along with it."
Irritation flashed through me as I thought about Jason basically being set up in an arranged marriage. Mr. Bradley had rubbed me the wrong way while I was in Heath, but I had no idea he had so much control in such egregious ways.
"Stacey loved Jason, but he didn't love her in return. When he broke the engagement off, she came home to Heath, full of rage and cried to the Bradley's. Mr. Bradley and Jacob automatically took her side, which really is no shock, but Jason was further alienated. Money and material things were used to placate him and keep him away from Heath. I think he just took them because, while he had no intentions of ever moving back, he was getting rich in the process."
I looked down to my hands that were now balled into fists. I'd subconsciously riled myself up at the sound of Stacey's name and all of the nightmarish things that she was capable of. I couldn't think of another living soul that I despised more.
"I'm not telling you this to make you run back to Jason, and I'm not here working for him. I just saw you get the raw end of a very bad deal and I felt you needed to know the full truth."
"What about you?" I didn't want to ask but I asked anyway. "And--Jason?"
She looked at me dumfounded and put her hand up to her chest.
"There is nothing between me and Jason. That was a long time ago."
"Do you love him?" I blurted out. "It seems you two were the two that were really in love, so… do you love him?"
She shook her head. "No, Cara. I love him in the sense that he is a good person and I have been through a lot with him. Am I in love with him? No."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I know what it's like to see Jason in love, and I hadn't seen it until I saw him in action with you."
Her words gutted me. I should have been happy to hear that he was truly in love with me, but I wasn't. I was beyond hurt. Even though Heather had provided the background to all of this madness, I had no idea how to process it all.