How would she bear it?
She stuffed the little box into her sleeve and went back outside in search of Hoji, her steps as heavy as her heart. Fortunately, he wasn’t far away and without speaking, they walked a little way away from the others so they could talk freely.
‘What’s the matter? You have opened the gift?’ He scanned her face with anxious eyes.
‘Yes, and it’s a sign. He wants me to stay. I’m sure of it. But I can’t, Jacob will never let me go back.’ She knew her brother considered himself responsible for her and there was no way he would leave her behind in Japan.
‘Well, it was quite clear that he wanted to keep you.’
‘No, not just keep me as if I was a curiosity, he wants me, for myself. I think he loves me, although he doesn’t realise it.’ She had said the last sentence in English, since she knew of no word for ‘love’ in Japanese.
‘Love? There is no such thing. Desire for a person, a wish to be with them, feeling comfortable with each other, yes, but …’
‘No, it’s not like that. Love is when you just can’t live without another person, when you don’t want to. That’s how I feel about him, and I think he feels the same.’
‘All this you gathered from a gift? What was it?’
She showed him, and he nodded. ‘I see. Then what do you want to do? You want to turn back?’
‘Of course I do, but I can’t.’ Despair overwhelmed her and she hung her head. ‘It’s too late. There is nothing I can do. Oh, Hoji, I wish I’d never come to your country at all.’
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Taro sat on the verandah of the garden house, staring out over the greenery with unseeing eyes. He had come here every evening since Hannah’s departure in a vain effort to calm his spirit and find peace and harmony within himself once more. It was no use. There were too many memories that refused to go away. Especially here.
Perhaps he should have the garden house torn down?
If he closed his eyes he could picture her coming along the path, dressed like the other ladies and yet so different. Not just in appearance, but on the inside as well. She was unique, his Hannah, and he knew he would never meet another woman like her as long as he lived.
He couldn’t forget her courage and her determination not to show her fear of him when he first brought her. He smiled to himself. She had been so transparent, so easy to read despite her best efforts to conceal her thoughts. It was obvious she hadn’t been trained for it from birth, like everyone else here. He liked that, though. He liked the way her eyes shone whenever she saw him coming, the way she smiled and laughed openly whenever something amused her. She was never coy and had never set out to captivate him. And that had proved his downfall.
She had captured him, body and soul.
He leaned his tired forehead on one hand and sighed. ‘It was meant to be.’ That was what Yanagihara-san had said, when Taro informed him of Hannah’s departure. ‘Be patient, my lord, and all will be right.’
But Taro didn’t understand why the gods wanted him to go through this. It seemed pointless.
As if conjured up by his thoughts, Yanagihara appeared round the corner of a path and approached, leaning heavily on his cane. ‘Good evening, my lord.’
‘Konban wa.’
‘You are still grieving?’
‘Grieving? I don’t know if that’s the right word. Let us say I’m trying to forget.’
‘Why should you forget? You and the Lady Hannah enjoyed your time together and she fulfilled her purpose in coming here.’
‘She did? How so?’
‘Haven’t you heard the news? Lord Takaki’s family is in disgrace. His two oldest sons have been plotting against the Shogun and they are all to be punished. Anyone associated with them would have been under suspicion as well, but as you are no longer allied to them, you have nothing to fear.’
‘And you think this was the purpose for Hannah’s coming here?’
‘I’m certain of it. If she hadn’t come and caused Lady Reiko to act as she did, you might have been married now. Even if the Shogun believed in your innocence, you would have been out of favour and perpetually watched. So you see, everything worked out for the best. Now cease your fretting, my lord. I told you, all will be right.’
‘How can it ever be right, when she’s no longer here?’
‘Well, do something about it. You are a daimyo, are you not?’ Yanagihara challenged.
Taro frowned. ‘You mean, get her back?’
‘Of course. You’re not going to just sit here and let those barbarians take her away, are you? They’ll never raise your child right and …’
‘Child? What child?’ Taro shot to his feet. He was aware he was almost shouting, but Yanagihara didn’t so much as flinch. He merely shook his head and sighed.
‘Ah, you young people. You’re truly blind.’
Taro marched up to the old man. ‘You’re sure Hannah is carrying my child?’
‘Of course. I thought you knew, otherwise I would have mentioned it.’
Taro didn’t believe that for a moment. No doubt Yanagihara was playing one of his deep games again, but it didn’t matter. The only important thing here was that he had to go after Hannah.
‘I must make haste, otherwise I won’t catch up with them before they reach the coast.’
‘You will, trust me.’
‘Another of your prophecies, Sensei?’
Yanagihara smiled. ‘No, just intuition this time.’
‘I hope you’re right then. By all the gods, you’d better be!’
Hannah came up with and discarded at least a hundred different plans, while sinking further and further into melancholy. She spent most of her time lying in the palanquin with the shutters closed and pretended to be ill so no one would disturb her. Finally, Jacob came and tapped on the side and ordered her to come out.
‘You really must have some fresh air and exercise or you’ll go into a decline,’ he told her. She opened her mouth to protest that she already had, but he held up his hand. ‘No, I’m not leaving until you’re out of there. Just a short walk, that’s all I ask. You can’t be as ill as all that if you can glare at me.’
Hannah grumbled, but in the end, she did as he asked. Jacob offered her his arm and she leaned on it, walking slowly as if she was still weak, but he ignored this and led her out of earshot of the others.
‘Hannah, we really must talk about your experiences during the long months of your captivity. I’m aware this must be a painful subject for you, but I need to know exactly what happened. And perhaps talking about it will help you come to terms with it, so you won’t need to mope any longer.’
‘No, it won’t. What does it matter now anyway?’ Hannah stared ahead, swallowing a lump that rose in her throat at the mere thought of those happy times with Taro.
‘Well, if you were … mistreated, in any way, I can ask Will Adams to make a formal complaint. They do have very strict laws here, after all.’
‘No!’ Hannah realised her reaction was a little extreme and tried to moderate her tone. ‘I mean, please don’t. I swear no one laid a finger on me without my consent.’
Jacob frowned at her. ‘Meaning?’
‘I’m fine. I’m unhurt. What more do you want? Now can I return to the palanquin, please? I really am feeling under the weather, you know.’
Jacob’s mouth took on a mulish expression. ‘If you’re saying what I think you are, shouldn’t we talk about it?’
She turned to him and looked him in the eyes. ‘Jacob, there is nothing to talk about. I appreciate your concern for me, really I’m very grateful for it, but I would like to put this entire episode behind me. Can we please talk about something else? If I change my mind, I’ll let you know.’
He hesitated, then nodded. ‘Very well. As long as you’re sure.’
‘Yes, I promise. Thank you, Jacob.’ On impulse, she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a fierce hug. Then she walked towards her palanquin, gritting her t
eeth to stop any tears from falling until she was safely inside.
An hour later, the cavalcade came to a halt by the side of a fast-flowing river. Hannah climbed out of her conveyance again and was met by Hoji.
‘We all have to cross on foot,’ he said. ‘It’s safer.’
‘I don’t remember it being this wide last time I came here.’ Hannah stared at the torrent sweeping past carrying twigs and mud along with it. ‘Are you sure this is where it’s fordable?’
‘Yes. There has been a lot of rain recently. It’s flowing off the mountains. We’re lucky it’s no worse, actually.’
A couple of brave men made their way to the other side with a rope, which was tied to stretch across the water. There were stepping stones most of the way, but they were submerged and slippery. The sheer volume of water was also so much greater than normal and this made it difficult to keep one’s balance. Still, they had no choice if they wanted to reach the coast and the long line of men and horses began to make their way to the other side.
Hannah waited her turn, but Rydon strode into the water with his usual impatience, dragging his horse in after him. ‘What a bunch of old women,’ he shouted. ‘It’s only a bit of water, for heaven’s sake.’
‘Wait, Rydon,’ Jacob called out to him, but the captain chose not to listen, headstrong as always.
‘What is he doing?’ Hannah exclaimed. ‘Why isn’t he holding on to the rope? Foolish man.’
Rydon had let go of the rope in order to pull on the reins of his terrified horse with both hands. Hannah shook her head at this sight. The animal clearly needed soothing words and encouragement, not force. The harder Rydon pulled, the more the horse baulked, neighing loudly. Hannah could see the whites of its eyes as it tried to shake off its master’s hold on the reins and back away at the same time.
‘Come on, damn you!’ Rydon shouted.
Hannah saw the horse rear up in terror. Its flailing front hooves kicked Rydon in the chest and he was knocked backwards into the water. Hannah watched with eyes open wide in horror, waiting for Rydon to come up, spluttering and angry. Nothing happened.
‘Rydon!’ Jacob shouted and grabbed the reins of the horse as it came stampeding back onto dry land. ‘Someone take this animal, now!’ he ordered, but everyone stood frozen into immobility, staring at the river, and Jacob was dragged along by the terrified animal as it tried to bolt. Only one person moved, but not in Jacob’s direction.
Hoji sprinted into the water, yelling in English, ‘Captain-san! I coming!’
‘No, Hoji, don’t!’ Hannah followed him, intent on pulling him back. ‘It’s too dangerous. You can’t save him,’ she half sobbed, fear tying her stomach into knots. Although she caught Hoji’s sleeve, he jerked it out of her grasp and she was forced to stop a few feet from the edge where the water was already tugging hard at her kimono.
‘I must. I owe him my life.’ Hoji continued doggedly.
‘No, I don’t want to lose you. Please, stop!’
But Hoji either didn’t hear her or he didn’t want to. He waded further out and threw himself into the water near the spot where Rydon had disappeared. Hannah saw him come up for air and then dive under again. She bit her lip. She knew Hoji could swim, but she didn’t know how good he was. Either way, he would need assistance to drag Rydon out if he found him. She made up her mind. She had to help.
As if Hoji’s cry had freed them from a spell, the men of the escort were galvanised into action at last. Some ran after Jacob to help with the horse, while others rushed to the edge of the ford and started to wade in after Hannah, yelling at her to come back. She pretended she couldn’t hear them, gripped the rope and began to make her way further towards the middle.
‘For the love of God, Hannah!’ she heard Jacob shouting behind her, but ignored him too and concentrated on not losing her balance. The water swirled faster the further she went and her robes became exceedingly heavy. She considered trying to take her clothes off, but she couldn’t untie the obi belt with one hand and she needed the other to hold onto the rope.
Hoji’s head bobbed up again, but there was still no sign of Rydon. ‘Hoji, enough! He’s gone,’ Hannah called out, but he shook his head and tried again.
She was very close to him when a particularly strong current swept her off her feet, taking her by surprise. The rope was slippery and she lost her grip on it straight away. As her head went under the water, she scrabbled to find a hold somewhere. Her hands encountered large boulders, but the current was too strong and she wasn’t able to hold on. The water was pushing her down and dragging her along. Past the ford, the river became wider and deeper and she was quickly propelled downstream, tossed about by the water. She was helpless to resist and could only paddle furiously to try and keep afloat.
She managed to get her head above water in order to draw in some much needed air, but it became harder for every stroke she took, her heavy clothing weighing her down. Panic gripped her, making swimming even more difficult, and she swallowed some water which made her cough and splutter. It tasted of mud and soil and she spat to cleanse her mouth, feeling grit on her tongue. As she cleared the surface one more time, she thought she heard Taro’s voice calling out to her and wondered if she was hallucinating. In the next instant, her head hit something hard and everything went black.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Impatience made Taro spur his horse into a gallop whenever possible and he rode ahead of his men, even though he knew this might not be wise. He wanted to reach Hannah as quickly as possible and if he had to wait for his retainers, he was sure he would be too late.
He knew the route the foreigners would take, since he’d given the orders to his men himself, and was able to calculate approximately how much progress they ought to have made. His best guess was that they’d be somewhere in the vicinity of the ford. There was only one for miles around and because he knew the layout of the land very well, he was able to take a short-cut towards it.
As he came close, he heard shouting and decided to approach with caution in case the party had been ambushed. He dismounted and walked quietly forward to observe from behind some thick bushes, keeping all his senses on alert. He tried not to think of Hannah at the mercy of ronin or other scum, but when he peered out of the forest, the scene before him was much worse than he’d imagined.
‘By all the gods …!’ he hissed, clenching his fists so hard the leather of his gloves creaked in protest.
He caught sight of Hannah immediately. She was wearing that infernal scarlet kimono again so she was easy to spot, although he couldn’t understand why she should be alone in the middle of the raging river. With horror he saw her slip and go under. He took in the rest of the people at a glance and noticed the indecision written on everyone’s faces. Although Marston-san was shouting something, no one was paying him any attention, and Taro couldn’t see the other foreigner anywhere.
‘Imbeciles,’ he muttered and decided there was no point involving any of them in trying to rescue Hannah. She was only one person he was concerned about and if he wanted her saved, he realised had to do it himself.
He kept his eyes trained on Hannah as the river swept her downstream. The red of her clothing made it easy to follow her progress, but the water was carrying her along very quickly. He ran back to his horse and spurred it into a gallop, doubling back the way he’d come to avoid some thick undergrowth, then returning to follow the edge of the river where the bushes thinned out. He soon rounded a bend, trying to get ahead of Hannah by a large margin.
Fear made him ride like the wind and his horse must have picked up on his master’s feelings, because it fairly flew over the uneven ground. When Taro reckoned he was far enough ahead of Hannah, he pulled sharply on the reins and vaulted off the horse before it had even stopped properly. He ran towards the edge of the water, tugging off his hat, armour and shoes. Hopping along on one foot while performing this last manoeuvre, he made it to the river with time to spare.
If only Hannah is all
right.
He hadn’t seen her head come up during the last few minutes and this worried him. There were glimpses of red and occasional flashes of gold and silver thread where the weak sun caught the material as it surfaced from time to time, but as far as Taro could tell, she wasn’t swimming any longer.
‘Hannah!’ he shouted, as much to release his own emotions as calling out to her. There was no reply.
Taro waded in and threw himself into the water. He was strong, but even so he had a real battle on his hands to fight the current which was hell-bent on sweeping him downstream as well. All he wanted was to reach the middle, the place where he judged Hannah was heading, but he had to work extremely hard to make it.
The water was cold, almost numbingly so, but his efforts kept him warm enough to continue. He caught sight of something scarlet about to hurtle past him. With strength born of desperation, he ploughed through the water even faster to reach it. He only just made it and caught a handful of material, which he hauled towards him while kicking his legs to stay afloat himself. After checking that Hannah was actually still inside the kimono, he began to swim back towards the shore, dragging her behind him by holding onto the robe.
Taro knew time was crucial. He might even be too late already, but he refused to think such thoughts. Instead he concentrated on going as fast as he could. Just when he thought he’d used up his last reserves, his feet touched bottom and he was able to push against the stones and boulders to propel them to dry land more quickly. As soon as the water was only up to his middle, he lifted Hannah clear of the water and waded the rest of the way.
‘Hannah? Can you hear me?’
He laid her gently on a mossy patch and tried to undo the obi so he could hear if she had a heartbeat. Her pale cheeks were even whiter than usual and her skin was freezing to this touch. His own fingers were too cold to struggle with the knots of the cord that kept the obi in place and instead he pulled a knife out of his belt and cut them. It was but a moment’s work to free her from some of the clothing and he laid his ear to her chest. He heard nothing.
The Scarlet Kimono (Choc Lit) Page 30