Holding On

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Holding On Page 16

by Allie Everhart


  "So then maybe after she sees you guys tomorrow she'll leave you alone."

  "I hope so." Becca's shoulders sag. "I can't believe she just showed up here like that."

  "Hey." I lift her chin up and she looks at me. "You gonna be okay?"

  "Yeah."

  I kiss her. "Let's get out of here."

  "And go where?"

  "I don't know. The park? The burger place on the corner? Wherever you want to go."

  "But you don't like going out."

  "I'm doing it for you. You need to get out of here and put your mind on something other than your mom."

  She smiles. "You'd really do that for me?"

  "Of course. You're my girlfriend. I'd do anything for you."

  She tilts her head. "Like maybe that thing you did the other night?"

  I know exactly what she means. She was moaning my name when I did it.

  I kiss her. "I'll do that and more. But we should go back to my place, in case your brother comes home. You want to pack some stuff?"

  "Yeah, and I need to change clothes. Wait here." She goes around me down the hall to her room.

  What am I doing? I just agreed to go out. To be seen in public and risk having people talk about me. But I have to do it, for Becca's sake, which just proves how much I like her. Not that I needed proof. I already know how much I like her, and how much I love making her happy. Like just now, making that sad look on her face go away felt as good as making a game-winning touchdown.

  A few minutes later, she returns wearing jeans and a t-shirt, a small duffle bag slung over her shoulder. "I'm ready."

  I take the bag from her. "You should just leave some stuff at my house so you don't have to pack a bag."

  "I'm not planning on moving in." She laughs as she opens the door.

  "I didn't say to pack your whole room. Just a few things."

  I've never asked a girl to leave stuff at my place but I asked Becca to because I like having her at the house, and not just because I'm bored or lonely, but because I like being with her.

  "I should carry that," she says, pointing to her bag as we wait for the elevator. She tries to take it from me.

  "Leave it. If I can't drive I at least need to carry your bag."

  The elevator opens and we go inside. We're alone, so I kiss her on the way to the first floor. When the doors open, we hear a girl say, "Becca."

  We turn and see a young woman standing there holding a grocery sack.

  "Hi, Heather," Becca says as we exit the elevator.

  Heather. Must be the girl her brother's dating.

  "Is this your boyfriend?" she asks.

  Becca looks at me. "Um, yeah. This is Ethan."

  "Mike said you were staying in tonight."

  "I was, but then Ethan stopped by and surprised me."

  "You want to join us for dinner? We have plenty of food."

  "We were just heading out," Becca says, "but thanks for the offer."

  "Maybe we can all go out sometime. Like a double date."

  "Yeah, maybe." Becca takes off for the parking lot. "See ya, Heather."

  "Bye!" She waves us on and continues down the hall.

  "She seems nice," I say as we get in Becca's van.

  "She's great. I really like her. I hope she and Mike can make this work." Becca drives out of the parking lot. "So where should we go?"

  "Wherever you want." I feel anxious as I say it. I want to go somewhere private, someplace dark, or a place where there aren't many people. But I'm letting Becca decide since she's the one who needs cheering up. Her mom showing up really got to her, which makes sense. She hasn't seen the woman in five years and then she just appears at her door? She could've at least called and told Becca she was coming.

  "How about Sunny's Malt Shop?" she says. "I want a milkshake."

  "Sounds good to me."

  Actually it's perfect. The malt shop is one of those places where you order from the car so I won't even have to get out and be seen by anyone. Maybe that's why Becca suggested it.

  We get there and park next to one of the speakers where they take orders. They serve more than ice cream and now that we're here I'm starving.

  "What do you want?" Becca asks.

  I peer around her at the menu. "I'll take a double cheeseburger, a grilled chicken sandwich, a large fry, and a Coke."

  She stares at me. "Did you not eat today?"

  "I ate. But I'm still hungry." I smile. "I'm a growing boy."

  A guy's voice comes through the speaker. "Can I help you?"

  Becca places our order, getting just a small shake for herself.

  I get out my wallet. "Here." I hand her a fifty.

  "You don't have anything smaller? It's only fourteen dollars."

  "It's all I got. You can keep the change. I don't need it."

  "I'm not keeping the change. That's a lot of money."

  "It's not my money. It's my dad's. And I owe you gas money for driving me around."

  She smiles. "I've only driven you twice."

  "Then consider it a big tip. I like my driver." I lean over to kiss her and we don't stop until our food arrives.

  The guy hangs the tray off Becca's window. She hands him the fifty.

  "I have to get change," he says, then takes off.

  "You sure you can eat all this?" She hands me the burger and fries.

  "I could eat more than this."

  "Really?" She takes a sip of her malt.

  "You've never seen what football players eat, have you?"

  "No. Mike eats a lot but not that much."

  "During the season, we eat constantly. You have to when you're training for hours a day."

  "But you're not training now."

  "I still work out. I train my upper body for an hour or two a day."

  "Two hours? Wow. No wonder you look like that."

  "Like what?" I shoot her a smile.

  "Like, I don't know, muscular. I assumed you had to work out a lot to have abs like that."

  "You were checking out my abs?"

  "It's kind of hard not to. You don't see abs like that every day." A tinge of pink appears on her cheeks. Is she embarrassed to give me a compliment or embarrassed that she admitted to checking me out? Either way, she doesn't need to be embarrassed. I like that she noticed. At least someone appreciates all my effort.

  "Here's your change." The guy who brought our food is back, standing by Becca with a stack of bills.

  She takes them and hands them to me.

  "It's yours," I tell her.

  "Ethan, I'm not—"

  "Ethan Baxter?" the guy at the window says. He ducks his head down to look inside the van. "I thought that was you. How you been, man?"

  "Good." I give him a nod and go back to eating my food.

  "How's the leg?" He rests his arms on Becca's door. "You think you'll be able to play this season?"

  This is why I don't leave the house. I'm here less than ten minutes and already have people bothering me.

  Becca intervenes. "We're on a date so..." She attempts to roll up her window.

  The guy backs away. "Oh. Sorry." He leans down and gives me a wave. "Hope to see you on the field."

  "Yeah." I give him a wave back as Becca rolls up her window.

  "Do you want to leave?" she asks.

  "No. I'm fine."

  She turns to me. "I see what you mean. You get a lot of attention."

  "Happens wherever I go. This town isn't big enough for me to blend in, and everyone here is a football fan."

  "I'm not." She sips her malt.

  "You're not?" I grab a napkin from the stack Becca put on the dashboard.

  "Nope. I don't know anything about football. Well, I know a little because Mike's a big football fan but I really have no interest in it."

  "And yet you're dating a guy who may end up playing pro ball someday."

  She shrugs. "That's not why I'm dating you."

  "So why are you dating me?"

  "Same reason you
're dating me. Because you're hot and fun to hang out with."

  I smile. "Did you just compliment yourself?"

  "I'm just stating a fact."

  I chuckle. "Well, you're right. You are hot and fun to hang out with, but that's not the only reason I'm dating you."

  She drinks her shake, pushing the straw up and down.

  "Aren't you going to ask me what the other reason is?"

  "If you want to tell me, you'll tell me."

  And that's another reason I like her. She isn't needy. She doesn't try so damn hard. Other girls are begging for my attention, begging me to tell them how pretty they are and how much I like them. But not Becca. She doesn't need all that reassurance. She's strong and confident in herself, which is a total turn on.

  "Let's get out of here." I toss my food wrappers in the sack. "Can you throw this out?"

  "You didn't eat your chicken sandwich."

  "I don't want it. The burger was enough."

  She takes the sack and tosses it in the trash can next to the order window.

  "You sure you want to leave? We just got here. Or are you worried someone else will come up to you?"

  "It's not about that." I lean over and kiss her. "I just want to be alone with you." I kiss her again. Her lips are cold from the shake and her mouth tastes like chocolate as I swirl my tongue around it. I feel her hand lower and grab her cup before she drops it.

  I love how she reacts when I kiss her. It's like everything else falls away and her attention is solely on us. There's no distractions. No feeling like she's somewhere else, or that her mind is focused on the fact that she's kissing Ethan, the football star. I finally feel like I'm with someone who wants me for who I am. Without football. Without money. Without my parents' high powered connections.

  I slowly back away. "Should we go?"

  "Yeah." She sounds breathless, her lips still swollen from my kiss which makes me want to kiss her again. She sees my cup in her hand. "When did you take that?"

  "Just now." I smile. "You almost dropped it."

  "Oh. Thanks."

  "You're welcome." I set it in the cupholder. "Let's get out of here."

  She drives to my house and when we get there, we head straight to my room, straight to my bed. Clothes are ripped off, thrown aside, and we go at each other like we've been apart for months.

  The sex is awesome, as it always is, and when it's over, she relaxes down on my chest, a soft smile on her face. My hand runs up and down her back as I catch my breath. Her warm body is flush against mine and I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head.

  I want to stay like this. Right here. Holding Becca. I want to keep seeing her. I want this to be more than a summer fling. But that may be all I can give her. My future's up in the air so I can't make her any promises. And maybe she doesn't want that. She says this won't last and she's probably right. But that doesn't mean I don't want her.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Becca

  I wake up in Ethan's bed, nestled against his warm body, his arm draped over my back. He's sound asleep, softly breathing, his head just above mine. I want to check the time but don't want to move from this perfect spot. It's warm and cozy and makes me want to drift back to sleep.

  My phone vibrates on the nightstand. I'm guessing it's Mike, wondering where I am. I'm sure Heather told him I was with Ethan, but knowing Mike, he's calling to tell me to come home.

  When the buzzing stops, I carefully lift Ethan's arm off me and reach for my phone. Checking the screen, I find it's not Mike who called. It was my mom.

  What does she want? And why is she calling me? She knows I never answer her calls.

  She left a voicemail so I play her message, holding the phone close to my ear so Ethan won't hear.

  "Becca, it's Mom. Jim and I want to have brunch with you and Mike tomorrow at eleven. I called Mike and he said he'd be there. Call me back and let me know if you can make it. We're meeting at the hotel downtown. That historic one. I can't remember the name. Anyway, see you then."

  Her and Jim? She brought her boyfriend? Why would she bring her boyfriend?

  "Hey." I feel Ethan rubbing my arm.

  I set my phone down and lie back in my spot. "I was just checking my phone."

  "Is something wrong?"

  I sigh. "My mom just called. She left a message."

  "What did she want?"

  "To tell me to meet her and her boyfriend for brunch tomorrow. Apparently Mike already agreed to it."

  "Are you gonna go?"

  "I don't know. I don't want to, but I don't want Mike going there by himself. He tends to give in to whatever she wants, and she obviously wants something or she wouldn't have shown up. But I really don't want to go. I don't think I can handle it."

  "I'll go with you."

  I look at him. "What?"

  "I said I'll go with you."

  "Why would you go with me?"

  "To help you get through it. Sometimes it helps to have an outsider at these things. Families tend to behave themselves with strangers around. That's why I always used to invite my friends over for dinner in the rare times my parents and I actually had dinner together."

  I sit up. "You'd really go to brunch with me?"

  "If you want me to, then yeah. I can't promise it'll help but if you think it might, then I'll be there."

  "That would be awesome." I hug him. "Thank you."

  This is why I keep coming back to Ethan. He can be super sweet, which makes me forgive him when he's a jerk.

  "So tell me about your mom," he says. "Anything I should know before this brunch tomorrow?"

  "Not really. I already told you she left us. That should tell you the type of person she is."

  "Does she date a lot?"

  "I don't talk to her often enough to know, but when I do talk to her, she's usually in a relationship. She was with the guy in Dallas for years. I didn't know they broke up. I didn't even know she'd moved. Whenever Mike tries to tell me about her, I shut him down."

  "So you don't know anything about this new guy?"

  "No, but I'm guessing he's rich. She has expensive taste and needs someone to buy her stuff."

  "Does she work?"

  "I'm not sure. Like I said, I don't let Mike tell me about her so I really don't know much about what she's been up to the past few years. Before she left us, she started getting involved in event planning, like helping with weddings, so maybe she's still doing that."

  "So what do you think will happen tomorrow?"

  "I don't know. I'm afraid to find out."

  "I wouldn't worry about it."

  "You wouldn't?"

  "If she asks for something and you don't want to agree to it, then don't. It's as simple as that."

  "Yeah, I guess you're right." I smile at him. "So you're really going with me?"

  "If you need me, I'm there."

  "What if people come up to you and start asking questions?"

  "You do what you did earlier. You get rid of them. Thanks for doing that, by the way. That guy would've stayed there for ten minutes if you hadn't gotten rid of him."

  "Okay, it's a deal. You keep me from yelling at my mom and I'll keep your crazy fans away."

  "Except for one." He pulls me on top of him. "I want to keep this fan as close as possible."

  "Who said I'm a fan? I don't like football, remember?"

  "You will. I'll teach you about it and make you watch some of my old games. By the time we're done, you'll love it as much as I do."

  "I thought you didn't like it anymore."

  "It's not that I don't like it. I love it. I love the game, and the competition, and the challenge of it. What I don't like is being told what to do. I don't like people planning out my future for me."

  "Then tell someone. Tell your coach. Tell your parents."

  "I can't. They'd tell me I'm being ungrateful. Not using my God-given talent and all that shit. My dad would probably send me to a shrink, thinking I've lost my mind."

  "Ju
st because you don't want to play football?"

  "It's not just football. It's the pros. We're talking millions of dollars, even more if you add in the endorsements."

  "The money shouldn't matter. Your family already has plenty of money."

  "If you met my dad, he'd tell you you can never have enough money. And it's not just about the money. It's about the fame and the opportunities you have when you play pro ball. The people you're introduced to. The connections you make. It's about a lot more than just football."

  "But if you don't care about those things, then why do it?"

  "I don't know." His voice trails off and he seems distant. I think he's talked enough for tonight. I've noticed he shuts down when he doesn't want to talk, and it seems like that just happened.

  "You want to watch a movie?" I start to get up.

  "Let's watch right here." He pulls me down beside him and grabs the remote and turns on the TV. "I want just to stay here the rest of the night, and maybe not leave until we have to go to brunch tomorrow."

  I reach up and kiss him. "Sounds good, but I do need to go home in the morning and change. I didn't bring nice clothes and brunch is at that fancy hotel downtown."

  "The Chadwick?"

  "Yeah. I've only been there once. I thought it smelled like mothballs, but it's really old so maybe it's just old building smell."

  "Shit," he mutters.

  "What's wrong?"

  "The media stays at the Chadwick when they're in town. So do the scouts."

  "Yeah? So? They're not in town right now. It's the middle of summer."

  "But the staff knows them. Someone on staff could see me and tell the media."

  "Ethan, I still don't get this. You're recovering from a broken leg. Everyone knows it takes time to heal."

  "Reality and what people want to see are two different things. It's all about appearances. I have to appear strong, like I'm ready to hit the football field any day now."

  "But that's not possible. The accident was in May. And didn't you have surgery?"

  "Yes, but like I said, that doesn't matter. People still expect to see the old Ethan. The one who kicks ass on the football field and wins games, not the one with a cast on his leg, hobbling around on crutches."

  "So you aren't gonna go tomorrow?"

  "I don't think I can. I'm sorry, Becca. I really am. If it was anywhere else, then I could go and be okay with it, but the Chadwick is too risky."

 

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