Finally, she closed her eyes, suppressing a shudder. She needed to break free from his grasp, try to fill herself with sense.
Without warning, she felt his cool fingers curling under her chin and she was shocked into snapping her eyes open, straight into his. His eyes still sparkled in amusement but his smile wasn't as big or as arrogant as it usually was.
"You know, I'm surprised you fucking caved so easily," he told her, his rough voice low, giving it a husky edge. The sound did things to her insides she didn't even know were possible and she squeezed her pelvis as a way to try to control herself. "My TA’s, in my entire fucking tenure, have never asked me for a goddamn thing. They kept their mouths shut and did what I asked and I always wrote excellent reviews for their service. You are the first fucking TA I've ever had with as much sass as I've ever seen. I thought you'd be harder to put into place. Guess I was fucking wrong."
Anger flashed in her eye and she knew she had to do something, anything, to remind him that he couldn't just talk to her like she was beneath him, that he was in charge of her behavior. It couldn't just be a comment of a smartass remark, if needed to prove a point, to throw him off, to catch him off guard.
Break his rule, a voice pointed out.
Her eyes suddenly dropped to his lips and she allowed the thought to tease itself out.
Just do it, the voice urged. He's positioned himself in front of you just because he knows you won't have the guts to do something about it. Show him otherwise.
But still, she hesitated.
"Yeah, that's what I thought," he murmured. "Good to see you realize who's in fucking charge now. Maybe you'll stay complacent and quiet. Just sit there and look pretty like a good fucking girl."
He said it on purpose. He kept pushing, pushing, pushing -
Until she snapped.
Peyton didn't think. She didn't reason. She simply acted. Raising her arms, she took his grizzly face in her hands and brought his head towards her so his lips crashed onto hers.
Once the initial shock disappeared at the fact that holy shit, she was really kissing Logan and breaking his rule and she was going to get into a hell of a lot of trouble and probably get a scathing review from him on top of the shitty grade, Peyton realized that Logan was actually kissing her back. Upon initial contact, he immediately opened his mouth and slid his tongue out so it ran across her bottom lip. Acting on instinct rather than logic, Peyton opened her mouth for him and he immediately invaded it with his tongue. His hands gripped her lower back roughly, pressing her into him incessantly. He tipped her head back with a tilt of his head and continued to kiss her.
Peyton's head was in a daze. She didn't think their kiss would even last this long. She didn't think she would enjoy kissing him, but holy hell, her skin was buzzing with static electricity and her bones had melted into thick caramel. The only reason why she still had the ability to stand was because he was holding her up with his hands.
His lips were surprisingly soft, the whiskers from his salt and pepper five o'clock shadow tickling the sensitive area around her mouth. It wasn't as unpleasant as she expected it to be. It felt raw and real and grown up. She was kissing a man rather than a boy and she suddenly appreciated the fact that he was such an asshole, he was this older, masculine jerk who still held her up with his hands and indulged her despite her breaking a rule.
Which led her to realize that this kiss that had originally started out as a way to get back at Logan, to show him that she wasn't like all the other girls who had TA'ed for him in the past, the girls who cowered or looked down or did whatever he asked blindly, turned into something a little deeper than Peyton had expected. There was something there, a bubbly, excited feeling that started to tickle her senses, stemming from the connection of their lips. The thought kept repeating in her head - he was kissing her back, he was kissing her back - and that made her nearly swoon in his arms.
Her hand dropped from his face to reach behind him and run through the black locks of his hair. They were surprisingly silky against her skin, considering she figured he had to use some form of product to keep it slicked back all the time.
This was the moment Peyton planned to pull away and hightail it out of there as quickly as she was able to. However, Logan seemed to gain control of his senses as the initial shock wore off and he let out a possessive growl as he began to take control of the kiss. The noise did something funny to her insides but she wasn't allowed any more time to contemplate just what that was considering Logan had taken control and wasn't planning to give it back anytime soon.
He pressed into her until her back was against the wall once more, and with a strong thigh, he eased her legs apart just slightly enough for him to put gentle pressure on her pelvic bone. His free hand reached up and grabbed her throat, wrapping his fingers around the smooth skin while he extended his thumb until it hit the top of her chin and he was able to tilt her head back to the angle he desired. Peyton gasped, her eyes remaining closed but her mouth slightly parted at the pressure against her pelvis.
The gasp easily turned into a moan of pleasure as Logan slid his tongue past her parted lips in order to claim her mouth for himself. She felt herself get dizzy with overwhelming sensations, unable to fully get a grip on reason. He smirked through the kiss; she could feel his lips move against hers in a way where she could easily tell what he was thinking. However, she couldn't quite bring herself to care, considering her lips were responding to his and she was kissing him back with all that she could muster. She had no idea if it was because it had been a while since she had thoroughly kissed someone before or if she liked dueling with him for power. Either way, her hands dropped from his hair to grip his leather-clad shoulders, and she curled her fingers into him, desperately using him to hold onto herself.
Damn, he was an amazing kisser.
At that moment, his hand left Peyton's hip and slowly slid underneath her shirt. His hands were surprisingly warm but she flinched at the sudden sensation of skin upon skin. They hadn't even touched yet and now he was touching a part of her so intimate nobody had ever touched before. She gasped again, cutting the kiss off, not quite sure how she felt but knowing she didn't want him to stop. She reached for the lapel of his jacket, tugging on the leather in order to bring him closer to her. His fingers squeezed just a little harder against her throat, almost as though he were reminding Peyton that just because she initiated the kiss, he had taken over and was once again in charge. It was his way of telling her not to pull away again, and the hint of danger sent shockwaves to her very core.
His fingers continued to trace tantalizing patterns against her stomach and instead of reclaiming her lips, he pulled away just slightly. Peyton was surprised at the disappointment that flooded through her bloodstream because he wasn't kissing her anymore.
Instead, he leaned forward to put even more pressure on her very core. Once again, Peyton closed her eyes but the moan that came out of her mouth was ripped from the skin of her teeth. If logic was still working in her mind, she might have still cared but she couldn't bring herself to do so now.
It was then that she realized he was scrutinizing her reactions to his ministrations, trying to read her feelings, what she wanted and what she didn't. Peyton felt nothing short of exposed during this moment. His hazel eyes were too serious and didn't have the arrogant smirk it usually did and his lips were curled down into a small frown that matched his eyes. This was too much.
But she couldn't bring herself to look away. Instead, she turned her head, hoping that would prevent him from seeing how she really felt, probably because even she didn't want to know. Instead of deterring him, however, her gesture pushed him forward. His lips came to rest on her cheek, surprisingly soft and intimate, before trailing downwards to her neck. She opened her mouth to gasp but no sound came out. His lips seemed like expert explorers, sliding down the column of her throat after sucking at her pulse and feeling it beat beneath his lips.
The tickle of his beard against her flesh onl
y enhanced his kissing, causing a shudder to rack through her entire body. She closed her eyes once more, trying to ignore the fact that Logan could sense exactly how she was responding to this, trying to ignore the fact that he was smirking against her skin and she could feel it. His hand that had been tracing mindless patterns on her skin slowly began its trek upward until he reached her breast. Without hesitating, he grabbed the cup of her bra and nipped the area where her neck and shoulder met, causing her to let out a soft moan.
His smirk only deepened. "You like that, sweetheart?" he asked in a rough, raw voice. It was lower than it typically was, causing little bolts of lightning to strike straight to her core.
Without waiting for a response, his fingers dipped into the cup if her bra in order to bring it downward. The cool, bitter wind felt like a hard slap against Peyton's face. Her eyes spring open as a voice inside of her head asked, What are you doing?
She placed her hands on Logan's chest and pushed him gently away from her. The action caught him by surprise, causing him to stumble and giving her room to sidestep around him after adjusting her shirt and bra. She took in his bruised lips, his scruffy hair, his dilated, hooded eyes so black there was hardly a sliver of hazel to be seen and immediately felt the blood rush to her face. Peyton wasn't sure if she was ashamed, per se, but it hit her that she had broken a rule and had kissed Logan. And enjoyed it.
Not only that, but he had kissed her back.
She had to get out of there. Without looking back, she did.
Chapter 3
The next day, Peyton stepped into the Coffee Cafe, an on-campus cafe students frequented, especially during midterms. Considering it was only the beginning of the quarter, the place wasn't too crowded. Peyton was able to get her iced mocha and grab a small circular table in the corner of the cafe, right next to the window. It was her favorite place to lose herself in her studies and the best part was, because everyone was here for the same reasons, no one tended to bother her and she never felt any pressure to give up her table even if she hadn't gotten a second iced mocha in a while.
Even though she had nothing to study for just yet, Peyton took the time to simply relax in her corner, taking a long sip of the hot beverage before leaning back against the smooth, wooden seat. She wore her favorite hoodie, a grey fitted sweater she liked to wear during chilly days. A lot of the times she would pull the hood up, even if it wasn't raining. She liked blending in, being unnoticeable. Ex-boyfriends had complained about her casual choice in dress but after her last one, she promised herself she would never dress for a man ever again. It was probably why she felt her defense mechanism snap into place when Logan tried to make an example out of her answer in class. She wouldn't let a man talk to her a certain way, either.
Maybe she should have let him say what he needed to say and drop it. It definitely would have made the quarter go by easily. Not just the quarter but the next two months. She should have just kept her head down, agreed with whatever he said, and only spoke when he spoke to her. To contradict him in front of the class and continue to argue her point after he pointed out its flaws was just asking for a target to be put on her back.
But she couldn't summon up the amount of regret she knew it would take to compel her to change her actions. And she knew it had to do with the fact that she didn't regret what happened at all.
"Excuse me," a voice murmured over the dull thrum of the cafe noise.
Peyton picked her head up, surprised she had been so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed Karla Greene, a second-year grad student and one of Logan's former TA's. She was gorgeous - long, lean, dark eyed, dark haired. There was a mysterious aura that surrounded her, one that was both alluring and transfixing. It was definitely clear why he slept with her. Plus, she was peppy and focused and was one of the more intelligent people Peyton knew of.
What wasn't clear was why Karla felt the need to sleep with him. Peyton did not think he deserved her and the fact that they weren't sleeping with each other now certainly said something. Didn't it?
"Hi," Peyton said.
"Mind if I sit?" Karla asked. Before Peyton responded, she slid into her seat with the feral grace of a cat, placing her purse on the floor next to her feet. She smiled a mega-watt smile, her teeth perfectly straight and practically white. "Thanks. I wanted to talk to you about something."
Peyton furrowed her brows together. What could Karla possibly need to talk to her about? They hadn't shared any classes together, weren't assigned the same research. The only thing they had in common was the fact that they were both Crim majors and they were both Logan Jeffrey's TA.
"What's up?" Peyton asked, trying not to show her confusion.
"I hear your Logan's TA," Karla said. She didn't sound possessive or annoyed with Peyton. It was a simple question with a simple answer.
Peyton nodded. "I am," she said, her voice still unsure, still guarded. It hadn't helped that Karla had referred to him as Logan, like they were on some kind first name basis. And maybe they were. Maybe they were still sleeping with each other. Peyton wouldn't have been surprised, exactly, except for the fact that Logan Jeffrey went through sexual partners the way students went through classes: on a quarterly basis.
"Did you know you're his only TA?" Karla asked, raising a brow. "He's teaching three undergrad classes and the only TA he has is his lecture class. You know there's supposed to be at least three TA's for that, right?"
Peyton shrugged. "I didn't know that," she said, "and to be honest, I have no idea why you're even telling me this."
"I'm giving you a head's up," Karla said. She rolled her shoulder back. "Look, it’s no secret that Logan and I slept together. Sex was a release, a place for us to forget about our stress and get all of it out of our systems. I wasn't the only TA he slept with either at the time, which was fine by me. Some of the girls do the stupid and develop feelings for the man, but the truth of the matter is Logan Jeffrey isn't the type to deal with trivialities such as feelings and compassion. He wants one thing and one thing only."
"So you're telling me to sleep with him?" Peyton asked.
"I'm telling you it might be beneficial for you to at least consider it," she replied. "Think about it: he's going to be grading exams in every class except your lecture hall by himself. He's going to be grading blue books and papers by himself. He won't admit it but it will stress him out."
"Maybe he shouldn't be such a raging prick," Peyton pointed out with a shrug. "Then more people would be willing to help him."
"Maybe,” Karla allowed with one shrug of her shoulder, "but I don't think it's in Logan's nature to be anything but what he is. It's something I've always respected about him, that what you see is exactly what you get. There're no games with him. No reason to over analyze. If he's attracted to you, he'll say it or insinuate it. For the most part, he waits for us to voice our consent, for us to go to him and tell him we want him. I'm sure he'd be all about the chase but he values consent more than anything else."
"Is that why he got all frustrated with me when I insinuated he might not want to pass up the opportunity to bang one of his intro students?" Peyton asked, and even as it came out of her mouth, she realized that it sounded pretty bad. Her cheeks pinched red for even saying such a thing. God, her pride got her into trouble sometimes.
"Well, I can tell you from that statement that he would get frustrated for plenty of reasons," Karla said. "For one, he has a lot of rules that must be acknowledged before any sort of relationship is even started."
"Like the whole Fifty Shades thing?" Peyton asked, her brow wrinkled with disbelief.
"Come on," Karla said with a roll of her eyes. "No. But he does have things he will not do. Call them boundaries, rules, call them whatever, but in his own way, he has a code of honor he adheres to no matter who his sexual partner is. First and foremost, consent. His partner has to be willing and wanting. It's why he won't sleep with a student. He refuses to do the whole consent under duress bullshit."
"Technically, I’m his student," Peyton pointed out with a smug grin. "Therefore, he won't sleep with me."
"Maybe," Karla said. "The difference between you and everyone else, though, is that you're a grad student. He might make an exception."
"You just said there weren't exceptions."
Karla pressed her lips together. "You're right," she said, "but I also wouldn't be surprised. You're... different."
"Thanks?" Peyton questioned, furrowing her brow and cocking her head to the side.
"It's a compliment," Karla assured her. "The thing about Logan is that he doesn't have a type. I don't think he'd take anyone's virginity" -
"Well, then, count me out again," Peyton interjected. She didn't even feel weird about admitting that she was a virgin.!
"You're a virgin?" Karla asked in disbelief.
"What?" Peyton asked. "A twenty-four-year old girl can't be a virgin?"
"Hey," Karla said, throwing her hands up, "I don't judge. You do whatever you need to do. And you know what, good for you."
"Then, what?" Peyton asked, cocking her head to the side.
"It's just..." Karla glanced away before looking back at Peyton. "You don't really look like a virgin, you know? You're pretty."
"Virgins are supposed to be ugly?" Peyton asked, disbelief tainting her tone.
"No, it's just..." Karla took a moment to stop and think about what she was going to say, which, in Peyton's silent opinion, was probably a good idea. "You have this confidence that a lot of women don't have. The way you walk, the way you look up when you walk, the way you roll your shoulders back... I mean, the reason I walk that way is because I'm getting great sex. I just assumed you were the same way."
"I'm confident because I know exactly who I am and what I want," Peyton told Karla. "Not because I'm having good sex. And I thought you and Logan weren't" -
A Reputation Dark & Deadly (A Dark & Deadly Series Book 2) Page 4